When One Door Closes, Another Opens

This week at the Fresh Start Momentum blog, we are celebrating our fifth-year anniversary! It is almost unbelievable that time has passed so fast. But we have all of you to thank.

FSM blog has traveled all over the world thanks to the world wide web. People from many, many countries have read this blog and we are grateful. Truly. We pray you have enjoyed and been helped by the many topics we have covered over the last five years.

This blog has birthed a new venture. In January 2017, we became convinced that perhaps a book based on some of the same topics as this blog would be helpful to the public. And so, we began. To tell you the truth, it is going well, but very, very slowly. More like at a snail pace! We simply need more time to put into this book project.

Which brings us to today’s announcement.

We have prayed about this since the beginning of this year and sense God has opened the door wider. In order to free up time and devote ourselves 100 percent to our new book, Woman Soaring: Building Momentum for Your Next Journey, it is time to set aside the Fresh Start Momentum blog for a while. Therefore, today is the last message you will receive in your in-box.

We ask for your prayers to finish the book according to God’s will and plans. May God bless you to find a door open in your own life.

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that” (Galatians 6:4 The Message).

  

Happy Labor Day America!

Today, We are Celebrating LABOR DAY 

in America!

Fresh Start Momentum

is joining you for a day of rest. Even if you have to work today, be sure to make one day this week a special celebration!

 

Finding Your Perfect Serenity

Nothing is more welcome for most of us than getting into our own bed between cool, clean sheets and a super soft pillow (or two or three). Cuddling up inside a cozy blanket and closing our eyes to block out the world. We drift away into dreamland intending to enjoy seven or eight hours of calm and quiet. Perfect serenity!

That is one version of the ideal night so we can wake up refreshed and ready to go in the morning. But so many women (including me!) struggle with making this happen on a regular and repeated basis. Aside from the aggravation of not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep, there are some serious health issues we should understand. 

If we drag through our day at work (or home) and doze off at inappropriate times, or we are unable to look our best because we had no energy to get ready for school or work, we might recognize the many symptoms of insomnia.     

Eight is the Best Number 
We might feel that our four hours of restless sleep is adequate because we've been doing that for months. But a good night's sleep (defined by eight hours) encourages restoration and healing for our body. If we feel like we can't remember anything from the staff meeting at work, and we forget to pick up our toddler from the babysitter, this lack of sleep may be on its way to becoming a huge health issue.

The Women's Health organization (part of the U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services) puts this issue into a "nutshell" for us: "Sleep is essential for good health. During sleep, our bodies and brains repair themselves. Some research suggests our brains use the time during sleep to clear away toxins that build up during the day. Sleep is also important for our ability to learn and form memories. Not getting enough sleep puts people at risk for health problems, including high blood pressure, obesity, and depression." Click on the following link to learn more: Women's Health 

Getting the Right Kind of Sleep!

Maybe a more comprehensive list would help us understand a bit more about insomnia so we can speak to our physician for a diagnosis. So, let's try and honestly check off any of the following symptoms that are preventing us from sleeping. Another good place for information is from the Mayo Clinic. Click here: Better Sleep 

• Difficulty falling asleep at night
• Waking up during the night
• Waking up too early
• Not feeling well-rested after a night's sleep
• Daytime tiredness or sleepiness
• Irritability, depression or anxiety
• Difficulty paying attention, focusing on tasks or remembering
• Increased errors or accidents
• Ongoing worries about sleep

Time Solutions that Really Work

There are many things we can try while waiting to see our doctor. Women's Health hits the nail on the head with these suggestions. [Again, click on their link above for more ideas]:

• Set bedtime at the same time each night and get up at the same time each morning. 
• Do not nap longer than 20 minutes (nor after 3pm)
• Get outside every day for some natural light.
• One or two hours before bedtime, avoid computer screens, mobile phones, or televisions. No electronic devices in the bedroom. [Hard to break the habit but it really works!]
• Follow a regular, relaxing routine at the same time each night when you get ready for bed.
• Go to bed only after winding down and when you are ready to sleep. Do not read in bed, listen to music (with lyrics), or do other activities that engage your mind and keep you awake.
• Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and extra cool for sleeping. Use a sleep mask or light-blocking curtains. Use earplugs, a fan, or a white noise machine or app on your phone to block out sounds. [Love this one!]
• Do not drink alcohol, caffeine, or use nicotine for at least five hours before bedtime.
• Get regular physical activity during the day. Exercise or physical activity close to bedtime, or anytime in the five or six hours before sleeping, can make it harder to fall asleep.
• Do not eat heavy meals or drink a lot of liquids two to three hours before bed.
• 
• If you still cannot sleep after about 15 minutes of getting into bed and turning out the light, get out of bed and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy.
• See your doctor or a sleep specialist if you think that you have insomnia or another sleep problem.

Where's the Switch?

It seems like our minds are like little machines that someone forgot to turn off the switch. So, we have to ask, WHO created and controls our mind? You may or may not know that the One and Only true God created every little piece of us inside and out (see Psalm 139). 

It is obvious that our very first suggestion or tip for improving our sleep habits has to do with speaking to the One who knows us completely--our Creator! He understands our difficulties with this problem. God is just waiting for us to open a conversation with Him. He only requires that we ask for His help. Let's try that tonight and every night. We might really be surprised how well God will react in our favor!

"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe" (Psalm 4:8 NLT).

How to Draw Strength and Inspiration

Many people wish to belong to something important where they can make a difference. Some of us join clubs of all kinds. There are groups for moms, book lovers, students, writers, artists, and for cooking, sewing, and working out just to name a few possibilities. Joining one of these sisterhoods helps to encourage and educate us.

Sometimes we have ideas that don’t seem to work out no matter what we do. We need the assistance of others to see how they do things we’ve never thought of as a solution. We learn as our hearts are warmed by their friendliness. Suddenly, the project we’ve been working on becomes much easier. And we breathe.

The fact is: we were never meant to do things all alone especially now that we are single again. What would be the point? If we want to share some new ideas, who would we share them with? What if we want to help in our neighborhood? How would we do it alone? We simply cannot get trapped in our own little world.  

We may not be mountain climbers like Aron Ralston but in the movie of his true-life story, 127 Hours, we witness how a huge boulder traps him in a canyon in Utah. All alone, he had no way to call for help. For five agonizing days, he drew “strength and inspiration from his family and friends.” Without them, he probably would still be pleading with the rocks!

Surprising Insight

Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking out loud to, well, nothing in particular? Of course, we don’t expect an answer (hopefully not), but, strangely, it seems to help every now and then even though the sound of our own voice in the silence may startle us.

Where we really need to hear an answer is when we are hurting, in trouble, feeling defeated, or we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other than our own. A friend who has been through all the mess life can dish out may have surprising insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are dealing with oh! so many dilemmas. And, in turn, we can be hers.

Without friends to share the good and the not-so-good in our lives, we leave ourselves open to the worst thinking patterns. How many times have we blown things out of proportion when left alone? What someone said to us yesterday in good faith today becomes an attack. We see two friends heading out the door together and immediately wonder why they didn’t invite us if they were going to the movies when really one friend was simply supporting the other to a doctor's appointment.  

We remember how very bad our lives have gone in years past and wrongly imagine how they will never get any better. We begin to see ourselves in the darkness without any hope. This kind of gloomy thinking can catapult us right into depression in its many forms.

How to Solve Many of Our Problems

If we are shy or an introvert, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if we are the social type, moving to a new town or a new job can make us feel reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways to join in with others.

• Exercise/walk/jog in the same place every day. Others will eventually make contact and it will give our smile a workout too.
• Find a church home nearby and shake hands with the door greeter.
• Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group with similar interests.
• Attend lectures, book signings, poetry groups. A different version of the one above.
• Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone.

Let’s keep adding to this list and soon our pet will wonder why her food bowl is empty all the time!

Discover What Works Best

The One who created us never intended for us to be alone. The first person on this earth was Adam but God knew Adam needed a companion and so He created Eve. Now, even if we have decided not to date yet, it would be to our advantage to meet new friends while at the same time, we stay in touch with some of our old friends. Eventually, we will learn what works best for our new lives and start growing one friendship after another. God knows and loves us like no other could. His “door” is always open when we want to talk. Try it!   

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).

 

 

 

 

 

Flip It Over!

Many of us at some time in our lives has probably collected one kind of object or another. Some serious things and plenty of silly things too. A long time ago this writer was a member of the Bell Collectors Club displaying upwards of nearly 100 different kinds of bells including china, porcelain, metal, and even wooden ones from all over the world. At some point, upon moving to a new home, eighty of the bells were broken and such was the end of bell collecting.

The next collection displayed was a teddy bear collection. Darling creatures they were and so fun to gather. A family member even built two long, wooden benches just the right height for displaying the teddy bears! Again, moving to a different city and not having room for the entire collection prompted this collector to donate them to a children’s shelter.

Heads or Tails?

Now, although there was never a coin collection in this home, we know experts estimate there are ten million Americans who are profoundly serious about their coins (ngccoin.com). That is a lot of people! The largest and most impressive coin collection is in the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C. that displays more than one and a half million coin objects which probably makes coins the number one collected item anywhere.    

We heard a quote recently that reminded us of all those coins.

The flip side of doubt is faith.

We’ve all seen two people settle a discussion by saying, “Let’s flip a coin.” So, of course, we know coins have two sides--a front (“heads”) and a back (“tails”). [We pause here just to accurately point out that according to experts, technically coins have three sides which include an outer border called the “edge.”]      

What we are concerned about today is that in our single-again lives, it is most likely we will experience both doubt and faith. Matter of fact, we can’t imagine one without the other--they go together—two sides of the same coin as it were. It may explain why we struggle at times with draining doubt or how we can effectively use simple faith. We are only looking at one side of the problem at a time! We are ignoring the other part of the problem and wonder why we cannot solve our dilemma.

Doubt. Period.     

The quote above could be turned around. It could say the flip side of faith is doubt and it would still be true. We all share moments when we have a lack of confidence in believing what is going on in our lives. We pretend everything is okay but truthfully, we have a difficult time getting through the day. Nothing seems right anymore. We simply don’t trust it will ever be different than right at this very moment. We doubt. Period. And we don’t stop to flip over the coin!

What does God say about our doubt? “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart” (Mark 11:23 NLT).

Faith Is Where It All Begins

Let’s flip the coin over to the front. Primarily, the whole idea of faith is trust. If we honestly believe something good in our lives can happen and place our trust in God to guide us, we will begin to act on those thoughts. We begin to learn and understand by reading God’s Word (the Bible) every day that He loves us and wants nothing but the best for us. Faith is where it all begins!    

“You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete” (James 2:22 NLT).

Do We Want to Get Well?

We may still at times struggle with doubt in our lives. It happens. We must expect it and be prepared because it can make us ill in more ways than one. But if we keep our faith intact and know where to turn when it gets low (the Bible), we can absolutely be assured God created us, loves us, protects us, and provides for us. And the best news of all: we are His daughters! And that will never change. We can count on it!

“And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over” (Mark 5:34 NLT).

 

Weekend High

No, that’s not the right guess! This is not a message about drugs or getting high on illegal substances. This is the kind of fun we all look forward to on a day off work or a Friday afternoon at the start of a weekend (whether that’s in an office building or at home since we are still dealing with Covid-19).   
 
The calendar shows another weekend is approaching (amazing how that continues to show up!), so let's start thinking about how much enjoyment we really are getting out of life right now. We already know spending hour after hour in front of a TV is not healthy, especially for our brains, and is definitely discouraging. Click this: Learn More Here

We have the ability and freedom to tackle this habit now. What can we do to increase our purpose and fun? How do we meet new friends? Where is our creativity? Are we setting a good example for our kids and other single friends and family?  
 
Finding a life-hobby is the best answer to so many dilemmas. If we are bored, depressed, lonely, sad, lacking friends (female or male), or feeling fatigued, the answer is to get moving and stay involved with life! It's simply up to us. It only takes twenty-one days to create a new habit. We can do this!   
 
Grab a notebook/pen, start with the five human senses and create a list of activities that is missing from our lives. As a bonus, most of the following include clubs/groups to join (the friend aspect):  
 
Smell - Nature
gardening, visiting parks/sights, hiking, jogging, cycling, 
 
Taste - Cooking
baking, ethnic dishes, salads, sides, desserts. 
Volunteer idea: soup kitchen
 
Sound - Musical
Learn an instrument, enjoy dancing, attend concerts or the symphony.  Volunteer idea: join the worship band at church 

Touch - Games
board games, playing cards, chess/checkers, puzzles. 
Volunteer idea: senior center 
 
Sight - Library
reading/book clubs, computers, classes, book sales, books, DVDs, audio. 
Volunteer idea: children's hour
 
Now see if we can answer this question at our next friendly gathering: “So, what do you do for fun?"
 
“And now, dear...sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned...Then the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9 NLT).
 

 

 

Moving on to a Happier Place

Thankfully, our days are created in twenty-four-hour segments. If they were any longer, we may not be able to handle all of it. Of course, we wish we had more hours in the day to get all the things on our To-Do lists done. But that is much like driving on one of those round-about traffic circles and not being able to get off.

Circles can be scary. Think of all those carnival rides that spin so fast our heads feel like exploding. Circular saws are dangerous enough to cut a finger off. And Merry-Go-Rounds on playgrounds can cause injuries. Where are the beginning and the end? That is how our days go when we do nothing but worry about the next thing we need to do, or what will happen if we don’t get somewhere, or what is happening with our children when really, they are just fine.

It seems there are thousands of things we constantly worry about without stopping. The trouble with that kind of thinking is the worries just pile up one upon the other from each day. Today we are still worrying about all the things we didn’t solve yesterday. Add that to today’s problems, plus start stressing over tomorrow’s fears, and “bingo” we have a major breakdown in the making.

Getting in the Right Lane

The good news is we always have a choice! We can choose a different way to handle our daily anxieties and stop our nagging minds from calling out for attention. It’s a habit we’ve created, or grown up with, that finally causes us enough pain that we want to do something about it.

Just as in solving any personal problem, it takes courage to change our lives for the better. We’ve already seen that take place in our lives when we moved on from one bad situation to a happier place. And there were plenty of worries one after another to handle, many times on our own. But we did it--we are here and thriving!

Our new lives can continue to improve if, with determination, we choose to find an answer to the worry that plagues us. It’s simply annoying and, instead of helping us to get things done as we might think, worry distracts us from accomplishing what we intend to do in the first place.

We are not saying that there will never be anything in our lives to care about again. Of course, there will be. But there is a difference between worry--which solves nothing and keeps us on that never-ending round-about--and concern, which involves us in the solution of a problem, either our own or another’s. Concern causes us to be troubled enough to get up and do something. And even to help someone find their own answer.

Slow It Down

So, how do we begin to change the pattern? First, we have to understand many of the worries we have are (wo)man-made. We load our days with way too many things to do. We get in a rush and cause accidents. We chase after more money and more things to keep up with the neighbors. We get in the way of the lives of others. Consider these:

• Prioritize our To-Do lists A (most important) to C (least important/backburner).
• Plan appointments allowing enough time for each. Don’t pile them up like blocks. It’s okay to say “No” when necessary.
• Simplify our homes, finances, and wants (which are different than needs).
• Listen and support those we care about but allow them to handle their own problems.

Final Step

We have the perfect cure for all our worries and that is God Himself. He already has a plan for our lives, and He waits for us to stop stressing and trust Him, so He can send us blessings. Every single problem we face, He has the solution for us in the Bible. All we really need to be concerned about is our souls, rather than the cares of the world.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34 NLT).

 

It's Getting Toasty Outside!

IT'S SUMMER IN JULY!!!! 

AND THAT MEANS

WAIT FOR IT. . . .

FRESHSTART MOMENTUM BLOG 

IS ON VACATION!!!!

WE BET MANY OF YOU ARE ALSO ON VACATION 

AND 

NO ONE IS ANXIOUS TO PAY ATTENTION TO 

IN-BOX MESSAGES!

SO ENJOY YOUR FAVORITE VACATION SPOT

AND THEN JOIN US AGAIN FOR A 

BRAND NEW BLOG ON 

MONDAY, AUGUST 2ND!

 

   

How Could We Create Our Own Independence Day?

Happy Independence Day 2021! True! This is July 5^th, but this year we have an extended weekend to celebrate America’s 245^th Birthday, July 4th, 1776--the day when the Declaration of Independence was adopted by Congress and still stands today!  

We might even say we are in the mood to celebrate most anything since we are nearing the end of Covid-19 (eventually). It is starting to feel good! On the other hand, let’s not forget to hold up a candle and say a prayer honoring those we have lost in many disasters already this year.

No, we are not going to have a history lesson here today. We are simply saying that the celebration of America is more than just sparklers and fireworks (although those are lots of fun!). Instead, we want to point out that our lives can be a celebration too-- every day. 

Now that we are out on our own and living as single-again women, what could we say is our greatest feeling of all? Would it be the peace we now enjoy? Would it be relief from all the chaos and verbal and physical abuse? How about freedom? All of these and more are a reason to celebrate and fill our hearts with unexplainable joy.

Our Own Independence Day

If our lives do not exactly feel that way (yet), it is okay! We may still be mourning for a life left behind even though that life wasn't what we imagined it should be way back when. Now, think about this: all that freedom we talked about in the above paragraph can be scary and maybe the reason that keeps us from moving forward.   

We have many difficult choices right now so it may seem easier to just turn back and grab for something that is no longer there, which only causes confusion and emptiness. But when we look at our own Independence Day and determine to move through the open doorway, we will see the possibilities for our best life on the other side. And our hearts will dance and sing! 

The momentum that escorts us through that door is exciting. It is like riding a bicycle for the first time in many, many years. We won’t have time to look back but only to view the passing scenery. There are so many things to do, places to go, and plans to make that our days will fly by! Surely we have had ideas running around in our heads for years that we are now free to pursue.

“Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending” (Carl Bard aka Carl Sandburg, American writer, and editor).

The quote is a favorite because it displays an attitude of never giving up. If one thing does not work in our lives, we can always try another way. If going in one direction is frustrating, choose a friendlier path. Don’t allow anything to get in the way. Deep down, we know what we want. We must go after it. Today!

Anything Missing?

Congratulations! We are on our way! Planning, experimenting, and seeking wise counsel are all part of this new way to rebuild our lives. We may even want to find other women who are traveling in the same direction. In fact, it is advisable to do so. They may be struggling at the beginning or learning to navigate in the middle or have nearly reached the finish line. So, someone who knows will be there to come alongside to help.

The Bible says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT).

If we sense something missing while planning our adventure, it may just be a lack of support from others. Let’s not keep our new marital status a secret fearing other women will gossip. If our attitude is new, fresh, and hopeful, others can’t help but see an improvement in us.

"A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song" (Proverbs 15:15 The Message). 

 

 

Five Ways to Find Relaxation, Balance, and Joy

Lemons are a favorite taste among many of us. Think of how often we enjoy things like lemon meringue pie, lemon drop candies, and of course, lemonade, especially in the summer. Cooks use it in all sorts of mouth-watering recipes. And, of course, some people, but not all, like the taste of lemon on fish. If we travel through the very warm states of California, Arizona, and Texas, we will see the numerous crops of nearly all of the citrus fruits, except oranges and grapefruits which are grown mainly in Florida. Right about now, our mouths are probably puckering up just thinking about juicy wonders. 

Seeing Our True Selves

Other than foods, when we consider how we affect others in our everyday conversations and connections, we may make others think about the sour taste of lemons! It is a trait we may wish to change, but sometimes, we do not even recognize we have such a characteristic. An actor once said, “I don’t think of myself like other people see me” and this could very well be true of all of us at certain times.

Mainly, we prefer to see ourselves as sweet and agreeable. Maybe most days we are just like that description. If we grew up with a mother or relative that we adored and sincerely loved, we wanted to be just like her. So, we imitated her gentle disposition and the manner in which she came into contact with friends, family, and strangers alike.

On the other hand, maybe exhibiting kindness, sweetness, and thoughtfulness was not our natural tendency and we had to really practice and work at the behavior. We did not have the adults around us that could demonstrate a good example of such a person. As adulthood approached with all its ups and downs, difficulties, and adversities, it changed us or, at the very least, brought out the worse in us.

The type of job one has trains us to become whatever a particular industry expects. Yes, employers do want employees who demonstrate kindness to customers or clients at all times, but global competition is the main focus in many--if not most--companies. From senior vice presidents and managers to waitresses, cab drivers, and grocery clerks, we all understand what it takes to keep a job.

Where There Is a Way

Unless we find ways to relax, balance work and home life, and strive to enjoy life, our opposing tendencies can get the better of us. We then, unknowingly, take it out on each other. Instead of listening with courtesy, speaking with love, and reaching out with forgiveness to each other, the measurement of our sour and bitter attitude can and will turn others away from us. This is exactly the opposite of what we really need in our lives, as we entirely miss the opportunities to combat loneliness, experience love, grow in faith, and expand hope. Pick one of these five and start there:

1. Find the cause of our discontent: change jobs; get caregiver or babysitting help; speak with a counselor.
2. Escape the house: get out with friends; vary housekeeping schedule with fun activities; take an interesting class.
3. Get a companion: if the house is too quiet, get a roommate; a pet; turn music on every day; or start dating again.
4. No overtime: arrange work duties so that overtime is kept to a minimum; spend quality time with others; skip the laundry and give yourself a facial.
5. Goals: make time now to finally accomplish our life-long passion.

Love is All-Around

Changing long-lived attitudes are certainly not easy. It takes practice day in and day out. The best place we can transform our outlook on life is when we are spending quiet time with God and finding out how much He loves us. Because when we discover and understand His love for us, we can begin to love others too.

It is an everyday starting point, and God will not fail to bring us to a whole new level of peace and joy. The best news is we can communicate with God anyplace, anytime and it costs absolutely nothing other than minutes we carve out for our own well-being. He is waiting and He has the answers!

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy” (Proverbs 14:10 NLT).

 

 

How Will You Make Your Life Count?

There are some who have built up enough courage to attempt the sport of rock climbing. Indoor or outdoor, climbing is a vertical risk (combined with horizontal moves), but it does offer fitness and fun with a heavy dose of adrenaline. Done right, a beginner will seek out instruction and a guide first. And, yes, as in any sport, there is certain equipment to obtain like special climbing shoes, helmets, harnesses, carabiners, ropes, and chalk for a good grip. Oh, and do not forget the crash pads!   

Then there are those of us who would rather keep our limbs intact for a while and stick to ground sports. Whichever method of exercise we could choose, there is always some degree of risk and, therefore, we need to get instruction and then practice, practice, practice. Our bodies cannot stay healthy without some kind of movement. We were made that way to last a lifetime.

Our Choice

Our hearts and minds are also fragile, inner parts to take care of. We have been through enough heartache to become experts at recognizing when we need to take a deep breath, seek out a friend, and just sit down and talk. We owe ourselves that much.

Nowhere does it say we have to go, go, go as if we are on a never-ending treadmill. It is not only okay to slow it down and take a break, but also strongly recommended that we do it for our own sanity. Let us just understand that it takes some time to be able to live on our own successfully. To figure out what to do and when to do it.

Establishing a daily routine will help. One reason why we cannot get out of bed at times is because there is no reason to put our feet on the floor. It’s just simpler to stay under the covers since we have nothing to do, no one else to take care of, no purpose, and no short or long-term goals.

True, making breakfast for one is not necessarily exciting. But it does not have to be that way. Vary the kind of food for each day if that sounds like fun. Once a month or more, try eating out with a friend and sharing coffee and conversation. Whatever it takes so we can look forward to the day will be worth the effort.

Basic “Take Care” Instructions

There are many ways to get our adrenaline going each day. Start with a basic routine and build excitement into it little by little. Do not just sit around and let everyone else have all the fun!

• Soon as the feet hit the floor, drink eight ounces of room temperature water to get organs moving (with lemon, if wanted). Set it out the night before. Remember, ice cold water causes the body to work harder to warm it up to internal body temperature.  
• Try a new soap and jump in the shower to wake up while the coffee/tea is brewing.
• Easy breakfast: protein bar or cheese plus a favorite fruit. Really, it is the most important meal of the day to avoid “crashing” mid-morning.
• Check your calendar, digital day planner, or whatever device is available to keep a schedule of daily activities. This is imperative even if unemployed at the moment.    

Build in the Fun!

• Sign up for Zumba, hiking, biking, or join a swim class to train the body to move.
• Plan a lunch with a friend once a month.
• Add restful activities like cooking, baking, an art class, or book club.
• Balance life by volunteering at a non-profit organization to help someone in need.    

There are so many things to do with ourselves now that we are free to enjoy the good things. Once we learn we are able to create a new and different life, we will not have time to spend an extra minute in bed.

No Fear

There is absolutely no reason to fear anything we want to do. We have a heavenly Father who will guide us and keep us safe. God enjoys seeing us use the gifts He has freely given us. He also gave us the most important gift of spending eternity with Him when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. So, see. . .He has our backs!

“But as for me, I almost lost my footing. My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:2, 23, 26 NLT).

 

The Big Picture from Beginning to End

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. (Oscar Wilde)

Now that we are coming to the end of the 2020 pandemic, many of us can relate to the quote above. So, we should be careful what we wish for, right? We may have hated our previous job and suddenly, it was gone!

Let's face it. No beating around the bush. Once we become single again, most likely we will need to either find an alternative income source or a regular job. Even if we have all the money we need (which may not last for long), sitting around with nothing to do is terribly boring, unproductive, and detrimental to our social life as we all experienced in 2020!

There are actually many benefits to taking a job or starting a whole brand-new career. Try a little exercise and list as many advantages as possible. If we have already been working for a while, maybe we are thinking of changing our job. That is not a bad thing by any means. We have to take pride in our work and if it's time to move on, we'll know it by the dissatisfaction we feel.

5 Perks Why Working Is Good for Us

• Our health and happiness will improve.
• Taking the risk will energize us.
• Gives us reason to become who we really are.
• Creates friendships with those in the same situation.
• Provides ways to find new interests.      

The Wrong Thing at the Right Time

All of this may seem scary at first, but even if we have never worked before outside the home, there are ways to get started with that too. One of the first things to do is to find our strengths. If accounting is not our thing, taking a job as a bookkeeper would be a disaster. If we hate baking, working as a pastry chef would drive us crazy. If sales give us hives, selling cars would be a joke. Get the picture? 

WHAT AM I GOOD AT? [Click Here to find out]

Next, we do not need to be told, education is important. If a degree is already on our shelf, then great--we need to get out the door and hit the pavement! If not, then, obviously, the key is to get educated in a field that is exciting for us. It may mean night school while we work elsewhere to pay the bills, but then what else do we have to do with our time? If we work hard at it, it will happen before we know it. 

Who is Directing Us?

Some of us are planners from way back. Organizing is at the top of our list. Others are definitely not in that camp! We need help for sure. What is really good to know is that we do not need to do this alone. There are support groups, counselors, and friends to call on when we are down in the dumps. 

There is also One who cares about us more than anyone ever could. God knows what we need (not want) the most and what is best for us. He sees the Big Picture from beginning to end. The best we can do is look at our life with blinders on. God is willing to direct our steps until we reach His ideal for our perfect life. Our part is just to ask!

“Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs 16:3 NLT).

 

 

What is Going on in Your World?

Housekeeping is not exactly the first activity we think of when wanting to do something fun. But it has to be done if we want to live in something cleaner than the dirt in our yards, right? 

To start with, changing sheets on a bed should be one of the easier weekly tasks. Yet, it can become a major struggle to get behind a bed surrounded by three walls in a small bedroom, which actually creates a silly anger issue to develop. A scene like this can easily allow us to just “blow up” and overreact at even the littlest things that invade our lives. 

Soak Up the Sunshine in Your Life 

Sometimes, it is our frustration or fear that turns a good day into an anxiety-filled boiling pot. Or maybe we did not get enough sleep the previous night. All of what we have to go through alone is sometimes overwhelming. We have no one to lean on, no one to talk to, and no one who can help us to overcome all of our sticky problems. 

Yet, deep down inside, we know what we need the most. We need love. We need someone to say, "It's okay, let me do it." Wouldn't that be nice? We could take a break and a breath and call a friend for a short chat.  

Maybe we just have to face the fact, the sheets can wait until tomorrow. The dusting can wait until we are calmer. Maybe now is the time to step outside, soak up the sunshine (defeats depression by the way), and find a rainbow God prepared just for us today because He loves us! He created many things like that for our enjoyment. Aren’t Aspen trees just so unique and beautiful?        

Simple Formulas Are Best

Although we may not have a physical touch in our private lives, we can seek appropriate love from others by being involved and helping someone else meet a need. We grow into love like that. Just this weekend, two friends said they are church greeters because they need [post-pandemic] hugs. Love that! 

Getting involved regularly with our church ministries, kids’ schools, hospitals, or the many community organizations that seek volunteers will fill us with more love than we could ever imagine. Simple formula: give love, get love. It really does work! 

“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:14 NLT).

 

 

What Does All This Mean?

Today. Always. We owe our sincere Thank You to all the men and women of every single war who fought and sacrificed their lives in one way or another for our freedom! Some of us remember firsthand the stories that have been told because we personally know friends and family members who have our deepest gratitude.

"There are approximately only 325,574 veterans remaining of the 16 million who served our nation in World War II. [US Dept of Veteran’s Affairs]. The oldest living WWII veteran today is 110 years old!"

"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug. 5, 1964-May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Administration]

"2.77 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001, and over half of them have deployed more than once or twice. Many times, that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved one's absence, mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns." [Watson-Brown University]

These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 245 years on our own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].

Taking Our Heads Out of the Sand

Please understand, no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we would not be enjoying American freedom if it were not for our military. Remember, freedom is not free! Military spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to "hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. Never knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else. Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military. Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They deserve the respect and honor!

Living in the military sometimes takes its toll on women with devastating results. "The divorce rate among both officer and enlisted men and women over 2014 was 3.1 percent, only slightly higher than the 2005 rate of 3 percent. The newly released statistics show that the rate has steadily declined since 2011 when it reached a high-water mark of 3.7 percent." [The Pentagon, U.S. Dept of Defense]

Where is the Good News?

"In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent an even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War had not been fought, how much longer would African-Americans have had to suffer as slaves?

"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our military, praying for a quick resolution to conflicts and praying for a minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides."

For further study, click on this Link from GotQs.com:

WHY WAR?

 “For everything there is a season. . . A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8 NLT).

How Do We Get What We Want Now?

“However, if I were to let my life be taken over by what is urgent, I might very well never get around to what is essential. It's so easy to spend your whole time being preoccupied with urgent matters and never starting to live, really live.” (Henri J.M. Nouwen, Dutch Catholic Priest, and Professor at University of Notre Dame, Yale and Harvard Divinity schools)  

In our ultra-busy, keyboard world, how do we find enough hours to get anything done? Do we make time for what is important? Seems our ringtones and touch sounds would successfully remind us what to do and when since they are so “smart.” 

That Was Then, This is Now 

Many of us grew up under a firm hand that required perfection. Things had to be done exactly right at the exact time. This taught us to expect the world, our world, to never fall under a human mistake of any kind. We may have even lived with a spouse that expected the same thing in his wife. It created a lot of guilt and turned us into stressed-out women. 

Our lives may still feel like a whirlwind, but feelings cannot really be trusted. They change from moment to moment. What is true is that we are smart women and that does not change! We have been through enough to know what we want now. We may not know quite how to get it just yet, but we have ideas running around in our heads.

First, let us sit down and start a notebook. We can get those what-do-I-do-now thoughts out of our heads and onto paper. They will become real goals and the strain and pressure will stop giving us headaches. Get some colorful dividers for different categories important to us. Suggestions: Dreams, Designs, and Drawings. Plans, Patterns, and Projects. Keep going. Have fun with it! 

If we are naturally visual people, why not cut out photos from magazines that represent our goals and paste them into our notebooks? On the other hand, if we are more comfortable with being a tactile person, try painting and create mixed-media pages. By the way, if there are still children at home, show them they can start their own Dream Notebook. This will help them get excited about life too and they will be way ahead of the game of life!    

Meet the Creator of Dreams

God did not mean for us to be so weary and worried all the time. He has plans for us and a lot to say about our needs (hint: being discontent with life is not one of them). 

Making ourselves frantic if the pillowcases never got white enough in the laundry will rob us of our joy. This is why it is so important to get in touch with God daily. First thing in the morning while the coffee, tea, or hot chocolate is brewing is the perfect time to ask what plans He has for each of us today. He has a perfect answer and is delighted with the kind of women we are! 

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31 NLT).