When One Door Closes, Another Opens

This week at the Fresh Start Momentum blog, we are celebrating our fifth-year anniversary! It is almost unbelievable that time has passed so fast. But we have all of you to thank.

FSM blog has traveled all over the world thanks to the world wide web. People from many, many countries have read this blog and we are grateful. Truly. We pray you have enjoyed and been helped by the many topics we have covered over the last five years.

This blog has birthed a new venture. In January 2017, we became convinced that perhaps a book based on some of the same topics as this blog would be helpful to the public. And so, we began. To tell you the truth, it is going well, but very, very slowly. More like at a snail pace! We simply need more time to put into this book project.

Which brings us to today’s announcement.

We have prayed about this since the beginning of this year and sense God has opened the door wider. In order to free up time and devote ourselves 100 percent to our new book, Woman Soaring: Building Momentum for Your Next Journey, it is time to set aside the Fresh Start Momentum blog for a while. Therefore, today is the last message you will receive in your in-box.

We ask for your prayers to finish the book according to God’s will and plans. May God bless you to find a door open in your own life.

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that” (Galatians 6:4 The Message).

  

Happy Labor Day America!

Today, We are Celebrating LABOR DAY 

in America!

Fresh Start Momentum

is joining you for a day of rest. Even if you have to work today, be sure to make one day this week a special celebration!

 

Finding Your Perfect Serenity

Nothing is more welcome for most of us than getting into our own bed between cool, clean sheets and a super soft pillow (or two or three). Cuddling up inside a cozy blanket and closing our eyes to block out the world. We drift away into dreamland intending to enjoy seven or eight hours of calm and quiet. Perfect serenity!

That is one version of the ideal night so we can wake up refreshed and ready to go in the morning. But so many women (including me!) struggle with making this happen on a regular and repeated basis. Aside from the aggravation of not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep, there are some serious health issues we should understand. 

If we drag through our day at work (or home) and doze off at inappropriate times, or we are unable to look our best because we had no energy to get ready for school or work, we might recognize the many symptoms of insomnia.     

Eight is the Best Number 
We might feel that our four hours of restless sleep is adequate because we've been doing that for months. But a good night's sleep (defined by eight hours) encourages restoration and healing for our body. If we feel like we can't remember anything from the staff meeting at work, and we forget to pick up our toddler from the babysitter, this lack of sleep may be on its way to becoming a huge health issue.

The Women's Health organization (part of the U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services) puts this issue into a "nutshell" for us: "Sleep is essential for good health. During sleep, our bodies and brains repair themselves. Some research suggests our brains use the time during sleep to clear away toxins that build up during the day. Sleep is also important for our ability to learn and form memories. Not getting enough sleep puts people at risk for health problems, including high blood pressure, obesity, and depression." Click on the following link to learn more: Women's Health 

Getting the Right Kind of Sleep!

Maybe a more comprehensive list would help us understand a bit more about insomnia so we can speak to our physician for a diagnosis. So, let's try and honestly check off any of the following symptoms that are preventing us from sleeping. Another good place for information is from the Mayo Clinic. Click here: Better Sleep 

• Difficulty falling asleep at night
• Waking up during the night
• Waking up too early
• Not feeling well-rested after a night's sleep
• Daytime tiredness or sleepiness
• Irritability, depression or anxiety
• Difficulty paying attention, focusing on tasks or remembering
• Increased errors or accidents
• Ongoing worries about sleep

Time Solutions that Really Work

There are many things we can try while waiting to see our doctor. Women's Health hits the nail on the head with these suggestions. [Again, click on their link above for more ideas]:

• Set bedtime at the same time each night and get up at the same time each morning. 
• Do not nap longer than 20 minutes (nor after 3pm)
• Get outside every day for some natural light.
• One or two hours before bedtime, avoid computer screens, mobile phones, or televisions. No electronic devices in the bedroom. [Hard to break the habit but it really works!]
• Follow a regular, relaxing routine at the same time each night when you get ready for bed.
• Go to bed only after winding down and when you are ready to sleep. Do not read in bed, listen to music (with lyrics), or do other activities that engage your mind and keep you awake.
• Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and extra cool for sleeping. Use a sleep mask or light-blocking curtains. Use earplugs, a fan, or a white noise machine or app on your phone to block out sounds. [Love this one!]
• Do not drink alcohol, caffeine, or use nicotine for at least five hours before bedtime.
• Get regular physical activity during the day. Exercise or physical activity close to bedtime, or anytime in the five or six hours before sleeping, can make it harder to fall asleep.
• Do not eat heavy meals or drink a lot of liquids two to three hours before bed.
• 
• If you still cannot sleep after about 15 minutes of getting into bed and turning out the light, get out of bed and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy.
• See your doctor or a sleep specialist if you think that you have insomnia or another sleep problem.

Where's the Switch?

It seems like our minds are like little machines that someone forgot to turn off the switch. So, we have to ask, WHO created and controls our mind? You may or may not know that the One and Only true God created every little piece of us inside and out (see Psalm 139). 

It is obvious that our very first suggestion or tip for improving our sleep habits has to do with speaking to the One who knows us completely--our Creator! He understands our difficulties with this problem. God is just waiting for us to open a conversation with Him. He only requires that we ask for His help. Let's try that tonight and every night. We might really be surprised how well God will react in our favor!

"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe" (Psalm 4:8 NLT).

How to Draw Strength and Inspiration

Many people wish to belong to something important where they can make a difference. Some of us join clubs of all kinds. There are groups for moms, book lovers, students, writers, artists, and for cooking, sewing, and working out just to name a few possibilities. Joining one of these sisterhoods helps to encourage and educate us.

Sometimes we have ideas that don’t seem to work out no matter what we do. We need the assistance of others to see how they do things we’ve never thought of as a solution. We learn as our hearts are warmed by their friendliness. Suddenly, the project we’ve been working on becomes much easier. And we breathe.

The fact is: we were never meant to do things all alone especially now that we are single again. What would be the point? If we want to share some new ideas, who would we share them with? What if we want to help in our neighborhood? How would we do it alone? We simply cannot get trapped in our own little world.  

We may not be mountain climbers like Aron Ralston but in the movie of his true-life story, 127 Hours, we witness how a huge boulder traps him in a canyon in Utah. All alone, he had no way to call for help. For five agonizing days, he drew “strength and inspiration from his family and friends.” Without them, he probably would still be pleading with the rocks!

Surprising Insight

Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking out loud to, well, nothing in particular? Of course, we don’t expect an answer (hopefully not), but, strangely, it seems to help every now and then even though the sound of our own voice in the silence may startle us.

Where we really need to hear an answer is when we are hurting, in trouble, feeling defeated, or we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other than our own. A friend who has been through all the mess life can dish out may have surprising insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are dealing with oh! so many dilemmas. And, in turn, we can be hers.

Without friends to share the good and the not-so-good in our lives, we leave ourselves open to the worst thinking patterns. How many times have we blown things out of proportion when left alone? What someone said to us yesterday in good faith today becomes an attack. We see two friends heading out the door together and immediately wonder why they didn’t invite us if they were going to the movies when really one friend was simply supporting the other to a doctor's appointment.  

We remember how very bad our lives have gone in years past and wrongly imagine how they will never get any better. We begin to see ourselves in the darkness without any hope. This kind of gloomy thinking can catapult us right into depression in its many forms.

How to Solve Many of Our Problems

If we are shy or an introvert, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if we are the social type, moving to a new town or a new job can make us feel reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways to join in with others.

• Exercise/walk/jog in the same place every day. Others will eventually make contact and it will give our smile a workout too.
• Find a church home nearby and shake hands with the door greeter.
• Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group with similar interests.
• Attend lectures, book signings, poetry groups. A different version of the one above.
• Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone.

Let’s keep adding to this list and soon our pet will wonder why her food bowl is empty all the time!

Discover What Works Best

The One who created us never intended for us to be alone. The first person on this earth was Adam but God knew Adam needed a companion and so He created Eve. Now, even if we have decided not to date yet, it would be to our advantage to meet new friends while at the same time, we stay in touch with some of our old friends. Eventually, we will learn what works best for our new lives and start growing one friendship after another. God knows and loves us like no other could. His “door” is always open when we want to talk. Try it!   

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).

 

 

 

 

 

Flip It Over!

Many of us at some time in our lives has probably collected one kind of object or another. Some serious things and plenty of silly things too. A long time ago this writer was a member of the Bell Collectors Club displaying upwards of nearly 100 different kinds of bells including china, porcelain, metal, and even wooden ones from all over the world. At some point, upon moving to a new home, eighty of the bells were broken and such was the end of bell collecting.

The next collection displayed was a teddy bear collection. Darling creatures they were and so fun to gather. A family member even built two long, wooden benches just the right height for displaying the teddy bears! Again, moving to a different city and not having room for the entire collection prompted this collector to donate them to a children’s shelter.

Heads or Tails?

Now, although there was never a coin collection in this home, we know experts estimate there are ten million Americans who are profoundly serious about their coins (ngccoin.com). That is a lot of people! The largest and most impressive coin collection is in the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C. that displays more than one and a half million coin objects which probably makes coins the number one collected item anywhere.    

We heard a quote recently that reminded us of all those coins.

The flip side of doubt is faith.

We’ve all seen two people settle a discussion by saying, “Let’s flip a coin.” So, of course, we know coins have two sides--a front (“heads”) and a back (“tails”). [We pause here just to accurately point out that according to experts, technically coins have three sides which include an outer border called the “edge.”]      

What we are concerned about today is that in our single-again lives, it is most likely we will experience both doubt and faith. Matter of fact, we can’t imagine one without the other--they go together—two sides of the same coin as it were. It may explain why we struggle at times with draining doubt or how we can effectively use simple faith. We are only looking at one side of the problem at a time! We are ignoring the other part of the problem and wonder why we cannot solve our dilemma.

Doubt. Period.     

The quote above could be turned around. It could say the flip side of faith is doubt and it would still be true. We all share moments when we have a lack of confidence in believing what is going on in our lives. We pretend everything is okay but truthfully, we have a difficult time getting through the day. Nothing seems right anymore. We simply don’t trust it will ever be different than right at this very moment. We doubt. Period. And we don’t stop to flip over the coin!

What does God say about our doubt? “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart” (Mark 11:23 NLT).

Faith Is Where It All Begins

Let’s flip the coin over to the front. Primarily, the whole idea of faith is trust. If we honestly believe something good in our lives can happen and place our trust in God to guide us, we will begin to act on those thoughts. We begin to learn and understand by reading God’s Word (the Bible) every day that He loves us and wants nothing but the best for us. Faith is where it all begins!    

“You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete” (James 2:22 NLT).

Do We Want to Get Well?

We may still at times struggle with doubt in our lives. It happens. We must expect it and be prepared because it can make us ill in more ways than one. But if we keep our faith intact and know where to turn when it gets low (the Bible), we can absolutely be assured God created us, loves us, protects us, and provides for us. And the best news of all: we are His daughters! And that will never change. We can count on it!

“And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over” (Mark 5:34 NLT).

 

Weekend High

No, that’s not the right guess! This is not a message about drugs or getting high on illegal substances. This is the kind of fun we all look forward to on a day off work or a Friday afternoon at the start of a weekend (whether that’s in an office building or at home since we are still dealing with Covid-19).   
 
The calendar shows another weekend is approaching (amazing how that continues to show up!), so let's start thinking about how much enjoyment we really are getting out of life right now. We already know spending hour after hour in front of a TV is not healthy, especially for our brains, and is definitely discouraging. Click this: Learn More Here

We have the ability and freedom to tackle this habit now. What can we do to increase our purpose and fun? How do we meet new friends? Where is our creativity? Are we setting a good example for our kids and other single friends and family?  
 
Finding a life-hobby is the best answer to so many dilemmas. If we are bored, depressed, lonely, sad, lacking friends (female or male), or feeling fatigued, the answer is to get moving and stay involved with life! It's simply up to us. It only takes twenty-one days to create a new habit. We can do this!   
 
Grab a notebook/pen, start with the five human senses and create a list of activities that is missing from our lives. As a bonus, most of the following include clubs/groups to join (the friend aspect):  
 
Smell - Nature
gardening, visiting parks/sights, hiking, jogging, cycling, 
 
Taste - Cooking
baking, ethnic dishes, salads, sides, desserts. 
Volunteer idea: soup kitchen
 
Sound - Musical
Learn an instrument, enjoy dancing, attend concerts or the symphony.  Volunteer idea: join the worship band at church 

Touch - Games
board games, playing cards, chess/checkers, puzzles. 
Volunteer idea: senior center 
 
Sight - Library
reading/book clubs, computers, classes, book sales, books, DVDs, audio. 
Volunteer idea: children's hour
 
Now see if we can answer this question at our next friendly gathering: “So, what do you do for fun?"
 
“And now, dear...sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned...Then the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9 NLT).
 

 

 

Moving on to a Happier Place

Thankfully, our days are created in twenty-four-hour segments. If they were any longer, we may not be able to handle all of it. Of course, we wish we had more hours in the day to get all the things on our To-Do lists done. But that is much like driving on one of those round-about traffic circles and not being able to get off.

Circles can be scary. Think of all those carnival rides that spin so fast our heads feel like exploding. Circular saws are dangerous enough to cut a finger off. And Merry-Go-Rounds on playgrounds can cause injuries. Where are the beginning and the end? That is how our days go when we do nothing but worry about the next thing we need to do, or what will happen if we don’t get somewhere, or what is happening with our children when really, they are just fine.

It seems there are thousands of things we constantly worry about without stopping. The trouble with that kind of thinking is the worries just pile up one upon the other from each day. Today we are still worrying about all the things we didn’t solve yesterday. Add that to today’s problems, plus start stressing over tomorrow’s fears, and “bingo” we have a major breakdown in the making.

Getting in the Right Lane

The good news is we always have a choice! We can choose a different way to handle our daily anxieties and stop our nagging minds from calling out for attention. It’s a habit we’ve created, or grown up with, that finally causes us enough pain that we want to do something about it.

Just as in solving any personal problem, it takes courage to change our lives for the better. We’ve already seen that take place in our lives when we moved on from one bad situation to a happier place. And there were plenty of worries one after another to handle, many times on our own. But we did it--we are here and thriving!

Our new lives can continue to improve if, with determination, we choose to find an answer to the worry that plagues us. It’s simply annoying and, instead of helping us to get things done as we might think, worry distracts us from accomplishing what we intend to do in the first place.

We are not saying that there will never be anything in our lives to care about again. Of course, there will be. But there is a difference between worry--which solves nothing and keeps us on that never-ending round-about--and concern, which involves us in the solution of a problem, either our own or another’s. Concern causes us to be troubled enough to get up and do something. And even to help someone find their own answer.

Slow It Down

So, how do we begin to change the pattern? First, we have to understand many of the worries we have are (wo)man-made. We load our days with way too many things to do. We get in a rush and cause accidents. We chase after more money and more things to keep up with the neighbors. We get in the way of the lives of others. Consider these:

• Prioritize our To-Do lists A (most important) to C (least important/backburner).
• Plan appointments allowing enough time for each. Don’t pile them up like blocks. It’s okay to say “No” when necessary.
• Simplify our homes, finances, and wants (which are different than needs).
• Listen and support those we care about but allow them to handle their own problems.

Final Step

We have the perfect cure for all our worries and that is God Himself. He already has a plan for our lives, and He waits for us to stop stressing and trust Him, so He can send us blessings. Every single problem we face, He has the solution for us in the Bible. All we really need to be concerned about is our souls, rather than the cares of the world.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34 NLT).