Five Ways to Find Relaxation, Balance, and Joy

Lemons are a favorite taste among many of us. Think of how often we enjoy things like lemon meringue pie, lemon drop candies, and of course, lemonade, especially in the summer. Cooks use it in all sorts of mouth-watering recipes. And, of course, some people, but not all, like the taste of lemon on fish. If we travel through the very warm states of California, Arizona, and Texas, we will see the numerous crops of nearly all of the citrus fruits, except oranges and grapefruits which are grown mainly in Florida. Right about now, our mouths are probably puckering up just thinking about juicy wonders. 

Seeing Our True Selves

Other than foods, when we consider how we affect others in our everyday conversations and connections, we may make others think about the sour taste of lemons! It is a trait we may wish to change, but sometimes, we do not even recognize we have such a characteristic. An actor once said, “I don’t think of myself like other people see me” and this could very well be true of all of us at certain times.

Mainly, we prefer to see ourselves as sweet and agreeable. Maybe most days we are just like that description. If we grew up with a mother or relative that we adored and sincerely loved, we wanted to be just like her. So, we imitated her gentle disposition and the manner in which she came into contact with friends, family, and strangers alike.

On the other hand, maybe exhibiting kindness, sweetness, and thoughtfulness was not our natural tendency and we had to really practice and work at the behavior. We did not have the adults around us that could demonstrate a good example of such a person. As adulthood approached with all its ups and downs, difficulties, and adversities, it changed us or, at the very least, brought out the worse in us.

The type of job one has trains us to become whatever a particular industry expects. Yes, employers do want employees who demonstrate kindness to customers or clients at all times, but global competition is the main focus in many--if not most--companies. From senior vice presidents and managers to waitresses, cab drivers, and grocery clerks, we all understand what it takes to keep a job.

Where There Is a Way

Unless we find ways to relax, balance work and home life, and strive to enjoy life, our opposing tendencies can get the better of us. We then, unknowingly, take it out on each other. Instead of listening with courtesy, speaking with love, and reaching out with forgiveness to each other, the measurement of our sour and bitter attitude can and will turn others away from us. This is exactly the opposite of what we really need in our lives, as we entirely miss the opportunities to combat loneliness, experience love, grow in faith, and expand hope. Pick one of these five and start there:

1. Find the cause of our discontent: change jobs; get caregiver or babysitting help; speak with a counselor.
2. Escape the house: get out with friends; vary housekeeping schedule with fun activities; take an interesting class.
3. Get a companion: if the house is too quiet, get a roommate; a pet; turn music on every day; or start dating again.
4. No overtime: arrange work duties so that overtime is kept to a minimum; spend quality time with others; skip the laundry and give yourself a facial.
5. Goals: make time now to finally accomplish our life-long passion.

Love is All-Around

Changing long-lived attitudes are certainly not easy. It takes practice day in and day out. The best place we can transform our outlook on life is when we are spending quiet time with God and finding out how much He loves us. Because when we discover and understand His love for us, we can begin to love others too.

It is an everyday starting point, and God will not fail to bring us to a whole new level of peace and joy. The best news is we can communicate with God anyplace, anytime and it costs absolutely nothing other than minutes we carve out for our own well-being. He is waiting and He has the answers!

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy” (Proverbs 14:10 NLT).

 

 

How to Change Our Little Corner of the World

It is easy to get worn out by so many things in life today. Stress can certainly weigh a person down. There is a story about a college professor who brought a glass of water into the classroom and asked his students how much it weighed. Most of the answers ranged from eight to sixteen ounces.

Then the professor asked what would happen if he held the glass for a few minutes, or an hour, or even a whole day without setting it down. The answer, of course, would be that it would cause aching and increasing pain in his arm causing him physical stress.

The story is much longer with details than we are not stating here [click here to read Short Story ] but the conclusion is thought-provoking. “You should not carry the stress long enough that it begins to ache and paralyze your life. It is important to let go of your stresses. Don’t carry your stress all day and always remember to put the glass down before you go to bed!”

Five “We Can” Challenges

Good advice. Stress gets to all of us at one time or another and we agree there has been more than enough over the past year whether it is the pandemic, the riots, or our pocketbooks. The tension from stress causes a change in the way we think about ourselves either for better or worse. For instance, we want to be that person who strives for peace or calm, but what do we actually produce in our personal lives? How do we act toward others?

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." -- Chinese proverb

It is easy to think all we have to do is run away from the world and hide our heads under a pillow. Just ignore what is going on around us and everything will be fine. But we admit burying our heads does not work well for long as we would, of course, suffocate!

We are looking here for some answers. What can we do? Naturally, there is no one right solution for every one of us. We are all unique individuals, but we can try to come up with a few ideas that will work overall to change our little corner of the world for the better. Perhaps we can pick out just one or two of the following suggestions to start and then add to them.

1. We can open a journal or a calendar (there are apps for both of these) and start listing where our time goes. How can we change anything if we supposedly have no time?

2. We can make a list of how we would enjoy helping someone:

• Helping a handicapped neighbor take out her garbage.
• Dog sitting for someone for a couple hours.
• Volunteering on a regular basis at a women’s shelter or pregnancy center.  
• Paying for a stranger’s groceries in line behind us.
• Offering a ride to a person’s doctor appt

3. We can start (or continue) to look for a job that is satisfying. Try in the service industry to be a real help to someone in need.

4. We can spend regular and consistent time either in the morning or evening reading one page in the Bible and reading one page in a devotional book.

5. We can challenge ourselves to be a good example to our family and friends by choosing kind words, being helpful, listening rather than talking, and watching good and wholesome TV, movies, and music videos.

The Choice is Ours

Now we see that “We can” if we really want to be the one who promotes peace, joy, and love to those around us. Do we want to see a change in the world? We ARE that change!

In case we have not thought about it in a while, remember that God will never, ever force us to do anything. We can sit back and just complain about what is going on in the world. Or we can please the Lord by taking care of each other here on earth. By the way, we need to take care of ourselves too so we will have the energy to be of help to others.

Be the change the world needs!

“Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest!” (Psalm 55:6 NLT).

“Get me out of here on dove wings; I want some peace and quiet. I want a walk in the country, I want a cabin in the woods. I’m desperate for a change from rage and stormy weather.” (Psalm 55:7-8 MSG).

 

 

Do You Wish for More Time at Work?

Relax and Kick Your Feet Up

"Stress and relaxation cannot exist at the same time--just as darkness cannot exist where there is light!" (Sue Ingebretson, author, speaker, and certified holistic health care practitioner) CLICK HERE for Sue's Blog       

Most of us overdose on way too much stress and not enough relaxation making us a "stressaholic". We get busy from the moment our feet hit the ground in the morning and then we fall into bed (sometimes literally!) at night without ever calming down. We have jobs and careers, people to take care of, chores to get done, and never enough time to enjoy the benefits of relaxation.  

Leisure activities such as reading, working on a hobby, journaling, crafts, sewing, sports, exercising and so on are a necessary part of resting our minds and bodies. Notice we left out "screen" time--TV, computers, social media, texting--which sucks out brain cells and leaves us feeling worse (okay, we cannot prove it here, but ask any life/health coach and you'll hear the expert result).

We all probably have some type of calendar to organize and plan our lives. So, we can put that tool to good use by scheduling our leisure time! Yes, we can get into the habit of doing just that! One other important stress-reduction method is to only work five days a week at our regular job to allow “downtime” on the weekends. Once we get into a practice of taking breaks such as these, we’ll most likely see an improvement in less stress and better health. 

Readjusting Our Lifestyles

There is a reason why a regular workday has always been set to cover eight hours of activity. Because more than eight hours nonstop shows up in our lack of productivity and is the perfect recipe for stress. Wow! In 2019 that sounds so antiquated, doesn't it? 

Especially in America where we have stretched and stretched the acceptable workday into 12-16 hours to the point that if we do not work those crazy hours, we may be considered lazy or unproductive! That is sad. Someone once said, "No one on their deathbed ever said they wished they had spent more time at work." 

Stress anyone?

Work hours around the world vary. For example, Eastern Europe has a higher number of daily work hours than the U.S., but Western European countries typically work 35 hours per week on the average, especially France. And in Spain, there is a Siesta (break) from 2:00-5:00pm with long lunches and healthy afternoon naps followed by a late nightlife!  

Wherever we work, and the more we work per day at a job, career, or at home, the more stress will show up in our life. The only way to combat this health danger is to treat relaxation as a necessary component to our schedule. 

Somehow, we need to think seriously about ways to reduce our stress level or accept the fact we will visit the doctor's office more and more. Even though we are getting near to the end of the year, it’s still the perfect time to readjust our lifestyles for the sake of our health. If we are in our 20s, 30s, or even 40s and are in good shape, this might seem silly to "program" relaxation into our day. But with each decade that passes, it will definitely become more and more obvious we have to do something! Better to begin now.

Using Our Brains to Calm Our Body

Relax with a book

It's been said it takes 21 days to create a new habit. So, we can just start with one fun activity and add it to our calendar. Go easy: for example, 11-21 minutes per day of reading a great short story before bed will have an amazing effect on our sleep and sleep is when our bodies repair any damage from the day. After three weeks, add one more fun thing like walking for 16 minutes before work, or journaling. Whatever makes us smile will do the trick! 

Peace of Mind Once and For All

Life can be so difficult at times; we need a Helper. God knew how stressed we would get and so He already planned on leaving us Someone named the Holy Spirit that would live in our hearts. He's the best stress-busting gift of all! Whenever we are ready, we can just ask Him to come into our heart and He gladly will!  

"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid" (John 14:27 NLT). 

Nine Easy Ways to Handle Everyday Stress

How long can you hold your breath? The world record is 22 minutes and 22 seconds underwater. Wow! This is way longer than what the average, healthy person can do at approximately two minutes. Obviously, it is much, much easier to simply take one breath at a time as we are meant to do, even though we might observe a toddler holding her/his breath during a tantrum for a very long time.

Some musicians practice taking deep breaths, so they might play their wind instruments properly and have the sound come out beautifully. Athletes too are required to have great lung capacity for stamina and endurance if they want to succeed. And, of course, it’s common knowledge that taking long, slow breaths and releasing them through the mouth can reduce blood pressure, anxiety and stress as well as keep us calm.

Life is inherently difficult and learning to deal with stress is a major accomplishment. But just know stress management is an entire world all by itself. Doctors of all kinds have spent their lives studying and writing about this important subject and, since this writer is not a doctor by any means, we are not attempting to cover the curriculum that fills colleges on this matter.

However, we can try and offer some sensible and practical points that may lead us into a better frame of mind on most days. Since we are all humans, we may be familiar with stress just a little bit, right? So, let’s begin here finding some "ah-ha" answers simply based on the fact we naturally have living cells in our bodies called hormones. Of course, we need them to grow but at times they can really get out of control. Oh, yes! We can all relate.

The Why

Understanding stress can help us to deal with its effect. As we mentioned, it starts with hormones but if stress is extreme and severe in your case, then this is a matter to first discuss with your medical doctor. Then what else? Consider if any of the following sounds familiar and may be affecting your situation:

--Multitasking

--Wearing too many “hats”

--Trying to please everyone

--Poor nutrition

--Substances, legal or otherwise

--Sleep disorders

--Depression

These are just a few. The causes of stress can fill volumes of books and do. So, if you are serious about tackling this problem and learning how to reduce stress in your life, start searching for reliable sources. Here are just a couple to start off:

--So Stressed, The Ultimate Stress-Relief Plan for Women by Stephanie McClellan, M.D. and Beth Hamilton, M.D.

--The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook by Martha Davis, Ph.D., Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, MSW, and Matthew McKay, Ph.D.

The How

There are plenty of ways to de-stress and the books above show us how in detail. Just to give you an idea of some practical methods to make part of your life, think about these:

Time-management. Don’t overdo and try to cram everything into one 24-hour period. We’ve all done this. Experts suggest keeping a log or journal for a week or two to discover where all your time goes. Remember, first things first when it comes to your time [what’s important].

Nutrition/Sleep/Exercise. If your life is not as healthy as you would like, start with small steps and go forward. A lack of these important aspects are roadblocks to de-stressing. Aim for consistency.

Organization. Many women today are taking part in simplifying or downsizing their lives and homes because it has been proven chaos that surrounds us causes stress! It’s worth attempting. Start small.

Nine Answers Right Now

Sometimes we just need an immediate solution. Keep a list of these handy:

1. Visit a flower shop and just smell the blooms or buy a Gerber Daisy for your desk


2. Take a bubble bath while playing music

3. Enjoy a treat of tea and scones, coffee and chocolate muffins, etc.

4. Use an adult coloring book—it’s not silly, it’s very relaxing

5. Turn off all electronics, read a book in bed and you’ll sleep like a baby

6. Go out and photograph nature

7. Plant a garden indoors or outdoors

8. Draw or paint a canvas

9. Continue or start a scrapbook or journal

Add to this list every time you think of something that makes you smile. You might even fill an entire notebook with ideas!

Meet the Counselor

Did you know we have a “live-in” Counselor right in our own homes? It’s true! A tiny baby was born one night in Bethlehem and they called him Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace! That certainly sounds like someone we need on our side, especially in times of stress. His “office” door is always open. Go right on in and talk to Him—you’ll be glad you did.

“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?” Luke 12:25-26 NLT.