How to Draw Strength and Inspiration

Many people wish to belong to something important where they can make a difference. Some of us join clubs of all kinds. There are groups for moms, book lovers, students, writers, artists, and for cooking, sewing, and working out just to name a few possibilities. Joining one of these sisterhoods helps to encourage and educate us.

Sometimes we have ideas that don’t seem to work out no matter what we do. We need the assistance of others to see how they do things we’ve never thought of as a solution. We learn as our hearts are warmed by their friendliness. Suddenly, the project we’ve been working on becomes much easier. And we breathe.

The fact is: we were never meant to do things all alone especially now that we are single again. What would be the point? If we want to share some new ideas, who would we share them with? What if we want to help in our neighborhood? How would we do it alone? We simply cannot get trapped in our own little world.  

We may not be mountain climbers like Aron Ralston but in the movie of his true-life story, 127 Hours, we witness how a huge boulder traps him in a canyon in Utah. All alone, he had no way to call for help. For five agonizing days, he drew “strength and inspiration from his family and friends.” Without them, he probably would still be pleading with the rocks!

Surprising Insight

Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking out loud to, well, nothing in particular? Of course, we don’t expect an answer (hopefully not), but, strangely, it seems to help every now and then even though the sound of our own voice in the silence may startle us.

Where we really need to hear an answer is when we are hurting, in trouble, feeling defeated, or we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other than our own. A friend who has been through all the mess life can dish out may have surprising insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are dealing with oh! so many dilemmas. And, in turn, we can be hers.

Without friends to share the good and the not-so-good in our lives, we leave ourselves open to the worst thinking patterns. How many times have we blown things out of proportion when left alone? What someone said to us yesterday in good faith today becomes an attack. We see two friends heading out the door together and immediately wonder why they didn’t invite us if they were going to the movies when really one friend was simply supporting the other to a doctor's appointment.  

We remember how very bad our lives have gone in years past and wrongly imagine how they will never get any better. We begin to see ourselves in the darkness without any hope. This kind of gloomy thinking can catapult us right into depression in its many forms.

How to Solve Many of Our Problems

If we are shy or an introvert, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if we are the social type, moving to a new town or a new job can make us feel reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways to join in with others.

• Exercise/walk/jog in the same place every day. Others will eventually make contact and it will give our smile a workout too.
• Find a church home nearby and shake hands with the door greeter.
• Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group with similar interests.
• Attend lectures, book signings, poetry groups. A different version of the one above.
• Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone.

Let’s keep adding to this list and soon our pet will wonder why her food bowl is empty all the time!

Discover What Works Best

The One who created us never intended for us to be alone. The first person on this earth was Adam but God knew Adam needed a companion and so He created Eve. Now, even if we have decided not to date yet, it would be to our advantage to meet new friends while at the same time, we stay in touch with some of our old friends. Eventually, we will learn what works best for our new lives and start growing one friendship after another. God knows and loves us like no other could. His “door” is always open when we want to talk. Try it!   

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).

 

 

 

 

 

What Chapter Are You On?

Life really looks different from opposing angles. A long time ago an interesting movie named Chapter Two came out about two people who had each just experienced devastating change in their lives. She, an actress and recently divorced, and he, mourning the death of his wife. One is ready for what the future might hold and the other remains lost, eaten up by guilt.

Our situations could be going through remarkably similar “chapters.” It takes time to adjust and a lot of courage to even want a different life than our previous one. We simply can’t imagine how we will ever make it on our own. Unfortunately, some of us try and hang on and on and on to no avail. It’s as if we no longer have a purpose or any possibilities that we can see. That’s certainly understandable and it’s okay to take however much time as we need.  

Turning the Page

The trouble is 99.9% of us had no choice whether we left, or he did. Once the decision was made by one party, the inevitable happened. Of course, the death of a spouse is an entirely different crisis. It’s a startling and permanent change--an unstable turning point. The one common denominator in all these outcomes is the fact we all need support and encouragement to get to the next chapter.

So, we will take the time to sort out some of our feelings and decide at least the first two or three steps needed to get the momentum going. We can do this! However, if we find ourselves hibernating for too long and holding back from our friends and family, that’s a red flag. Don’t go there! That’s a sure sign we want to “throw in the towel” and have a pity party. Not pretty at all.

Of course, we are not saying we should give up on ever turning to the next page in our stories and, instead, transform into the neighborhood hag no one wants to be around. There are positive ways to move forward so let’s explore.

Five Positive Ideas

    We all need friends. The best #1 suggestion: find a church home to explore our faith and join their women’s group that meets regularly.

Family is important. Touchbase with others by inviting one of them to coffee sooner than later.

Encouragement. There is absolutely no shame or intimidation in joining a weekly support group of others going through the same thing.

Fun! Look through the closet or garage to find those hobby items stashed away long ago and get busy having fun (and maybe profit).

Growth. Find a class in a subject that has always sounded interesting. Become an expert in it and then volunteer as a teacher at a community college.

Numerous Chapters

It’s easy to dwell on all our troubles, so easy! There is no benefit, however, in doing that. We have gone through what feels like the fires of hell and have come to this point in our lives. God has given us this chance to make things right once and for all. Why wouldn’t we?

We can hear Him if we listen for His voice. One of the best ways He “speaks” to us is through His life-changing book called the Holy Bible. It contains 66 books and numerous chapters and verses of instruction. It covers every single subject and topic about our lives that we can even think of!

A Christian Bible can be purchased in a Christian bookstore or even online at such sites as [click here:] Lifeway           

“Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord” (Psalm 119:1 NLT).

“Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word” (Psalm 119:37 NLT).

 

 

Any Drama in Your Family Lately?

Today, Fresh Start Momentum continues with a SUMMER SISTER SERIES highlighting the lives of some famous and amazing women who might just encourage us in our struggles. True stories that can give us insights for our lives in the 21st Century and how all women--married or not--have always been important throughout history. Join us each Monday for the next three weeks as we showcase our "sisters."

Fierce Devotion

Mothers are sometimes fiercely devoted to their children. It is not unusual for moms to give up and sacrifice for them to make sure they have want they need or are entitled to receiving. It truly brings anguish to a mom to see her child in want. If she can do anything at all for the child, she will do it. This has happened since the beginning of time. It appears God created moms with a certain little gene no one else has that is activated when her child is born. It can not be ignored when it comes to her child. A woman named Rebekah had this trait as well.

Love Begins

At the request of Abraham, Rebekah had been brought from another land to marry his son, Isaac. Rebekah was known as a courteous and kind woman. She also “was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her.” Rebekah had no problem traveling to become someone’s wife. In those days, arranged marriages were common and considered fortunate.

Often, the woman was given expensive gifts such as the “gold nose ring weighing a beka [⅕ oz] and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels [one shekel weighs ⅖ oz]” given to Rebekah. Upon returning to Canaan, she immediately married Isaac, but remained without children for twenty years!

Isaac believed in the Lord and in prayer. He remained in continual prayer until the Lord blessed him and Rebekah with twin sons, Jacob and Esau. From the very beginning (even in the womb), the two brothers were constantly fighting each other. Surely, this caused great distress for their parents. And it changed everyone involved.      

Love Hurts

In most families, playing favorites with one child over another can result in severe discord among, not only the siblings but between the mom and dad. At times it can get way out of hand as lying, dishonesty, malice, and hatred (to name but a few habits) causes irreparable damage in the family. Parents that started out loving all their children with delight and pride turns into an entirely different home when one child is shut out of love and affection.

There are no perfect parents, just as there are no perfect children. Agree? Esau became the favorite child of Isaac. Jacob became Rebekah’s favorite. Husband against wife. Brother against brother. The worse relationships there couldn’t be. Even in today’s world, this is still happening.

Rebekah overheard her husband promising Esau his inheritance. She wanted that for Jacob and convinced Jacob to deceive his father into giving him Esau’s birthright. Jacob didn’t believe it would work, but Rebekah said if it did not, “My son, let the curse fall on me. Just go and do what I say. . .” And so he did. Esau was shut out of his blessing. When he found out, Esau planned on killing Jacob over the swindling.

And the world spins on and on and on. Where will the drama stop? What can we as mothers do to end the strife in our own families? It is up to us to maintain loving relationships with each of our children, even in a single parent home. No one said it would be easy. But it can be done.

"Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her. . ." Genesis 24:67 NIV.

[The entire story of Rebekah can be found in Genesis 24-27; 49:31].