Looking Forward to Better Things in 2021

Most vehicles with wheels, or even rails, normally can go forward as well as backward. We've seen trains travel in reverse to either switch tracks or connect with a different car or caboose. But they most certainly do this quickly to go forward which is their main purpose to get to a new destination. 

Obviously, our cars go forward and backward so we can maneuver properly in and out of garages, parking spaces, and so forth. Yet both trains and cars constantly deal with the danger of traveling backward and avoiding an accident. Amazingly, planes have no way to move in reverse! They can only go forward on the ground. And believe it or not, crash statistics show flying is the safest way to travel. Now there is something to remember!

Making the Most of 2021
In four days we will arrive in another New Year and many of us will be anxiously looking forward to this one for sure! Yet, we won’t soon forget about things that have happened to us, some incredibly sad and others completely devastating. True, we usually learn lessons from our yesterdays, but constantly dwelling on every regrettable past event is a danger to our future and like a train traveling backward unable to stop!

We can imagine what would happen if that occurred. Derailment. An alarm should go off in our heads right about now. We simply cannot move forward with our new lives while we are simultaneously going backward. It's so much more exciting to travel ahead and see the sites!

This is our chance. We have a New Year to celebrate and can make plans for a better future. We may even have some vague ideas in the back of our minds that we can activate, but we’re not quite sure how to go about it. Or maybe we haven't found the time yet to think about hopes and dreams. (Careful. Don't look backward!)

With 2021 arriving at the end of this week, it's time to start our new single-again life. Grab a pen and notebook or journal and jot down some thoughts. Here we go:

Clear Thinking. Avoid vagueness. Instead, strive for developed ideas. Write down just one specific sentence or short paragraph that describes what should happen now to get moving. This gets the idea out of our heads and onto paper where we can see it and start planning. 

Something New. If there have been boring jobs in the past that were just not satisfying, list three occupations you’ve dreamed about and that you know you are good at even if it means accepting an entry-level position. Promotions will happen soon enough, and you'll be much happier!

Building Relationships. It may be time for some new friends (while hanging on to some good friends), especially those in the same situation. They are there. You must look for them. This could be at a new job, a friendly neighbor, or supportive Christian friends. 

Whatever you don’t do today, you are less likely to do tomorrow. 

(Win the Day by Mark Batterson, author and lead pastor, National Community Church, Washington D.C.)

 

Face Forward
Looking back into our past keeps God from moving us forward. Repeat that out loud! Write it on the refrigerator. Even before we were born, God made good plans for us. Not plans for disaster (that was a human error). He's just been waiting for us to face forward and listen. With God absolutely nothing is impossible. Therefore, we need Him in our corner, especially now. Just ask Him! 

"May he grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed" (Psalm 20:4 NLT).

What's the REAL Story for 2020?

"Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus."

"At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire (the first census taken). All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. He took with him Mary, to whom he was engaged, who was now expecting a child.

"And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

The Shepherds and Angels

"That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

"Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, 

“Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

"When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

"They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them."

(Luke 1:30-31; 2:1-20 NLT).

 

How to Save Our Sanity This Christmas

Christmas can be celebrated in several ways. True, traditions are personal and precious for most of us (especially if we have small children still at home), but it doesn’t mean we must adhere to old patterns forever. Now that we are on our own as single-again women, it just might be fun and much less stressful if we change things up a bit.  

It isn't a requirement to participate in all the demanding in-person shopping and gift-giving which, of course, in 2020 could be a safety issue. Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus—always has been, always will be. So, we are here to say, it is okay to take a break from tradition and skip all the commercial "hoop-la" this year if one chooses. We understand the first few years without a spouse takes some getting used to and a quiet Christmas is good for our souls.  

Sure, many of our friends and relatives who don't fathom what we are going through will gasp at the change in our plans for this one year. They might think something is terribly wrong with us. Depending on our own attitudes, eventually, they will understand we are merely adjusting, not dropping out of the human race! Christmas will simply be on a smaller scale than usual.

What Might a Quiet Christmas Look Like?

We are not speaking of hibernating in a closet and never coming out until mid-January! Celebrating the best quiet Christmas ever could look like:

• inviting one favorite person to dinner instead of joining a massive holiday party with all the background noise
• shopping online instead of fighting the crowds at the mall
• putting up a tabletop tree (or two or three) instead of spending energy decorating and wrestling with a ceiling-high tree 
• using candles and a Nativity set instead of decorating the entire house
• taking a friend to candlelight church service instead of baking nine pies at the last minute out of guilt
• reading the Christmas story found in the Holy Bible, Luke 2:1-21 with a niece/nephew while their parents go out
• completely getting away on a little side trip by ourselves

Saving Our Sanity for Another Season

Changing the way we do things now may save our sanity and is one of the best ways to strengthen ourselves. We can be healed from all the pain, sorrow, and worry just by taking care of ourselves; by quietly listening to the God Who loves us beyond doubt. There is no way to hear Him speak to us unless we remain quiet. The noise and chaos in the world drown out His voice. So, we can do Christmas quietly this year and see a difference in our hearts and minds as we prepare for a better year ahead!

“For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. . .And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6 NLT).

 

7 Sure Steps to Finding Out Who You Are

No matter what kind of relationship interruption we have survived, we can and usually do recover with time. Likely, it took more than a "minute" to arrive at such a decision with so many factors to consider. There were the days, months, or even years trying to mend the brokenness to no avail. It wore us out. 

So, it stands to reason, it will take a season or more to restore our lives; to hit the refresh button on life. Exactly how long depends on many things, including how long we were a couple. There is no need to rush it. In fact, that's probably the worst thing we could do at this point. That doesn't mean we should just stop living, but we can learn to be gentle with ourselves. 

Standing in the Storm

Time is a remarkable healer, repairing our minds and souls from the inside out. If we slow down just a bit and allow it, time--combined with patience, persistence, and prayer--will supply all the tools to build a foundation that will stand in a storm.

Of course, first things first. We must secure what our future income looks like (savings, employment, alimony, etc.) and then explore housing options (family home, new home, a move, etc.) Once the basics are in place, everything else can wait for now.

What could make the rest of the healing period less stressful is finding and using our talents and gifts. The ones we have forgotten about, but still have; those we were born with and haven't used. It is not selfish to take care of ourselves in this way. Call it an indulgence if you will, but it is a necessity. 

Just like our health, if we don't do something about what is bothering us, we will suffer. And we are the only ones who have the insight to care for what we need at this point; the only ones who know what we want. We can call on others for support and should, but we can't expect anyone else to find the key to our happiness.   

Seven Sure Steps

Let's look at these seven steps for discovering who we are deep down inside. In experimenting with some of these ideas, we can unlock the door to our future and find our God-given purpose. Feel free to add to these in your own words.

1. When we admit what we really want to do with our future, our confidence grows.
2.  We discover the possibilities open to us--maybe for the first time--and find faith.
3.  We begin a pattern of lifetime growth and learning, which creates joy.
4.  We let go of fear, skepticism, and failure; in the process, we discover love.  
5.  We find connection with others who are in the same boat and let go of loneliness.
6.  We build a community of support and find strength.
7.  We reach out to others, share our experience, and claim abundance.

Hitting the Mark

The best way to recognize our true potential is by reading the Bible. Why is that true? Because God created each one of us and it’s how He speaks to us. He knows us inside and out and has all the answers about our future no matter what we have done or not done in the past. He still loves us!

If you haven't found a church home yet, don't wait. They usually hold regular classes to help with the search, discovery, and understanding of our spiritual gifts.  

Because we are unique, we all have different needs to begin our journey. But we all have gifts that God graced us with and, no matter what age or status we find ourselves in right now, we can determine exactly what that gift is and how we will use it. When we do that, we have hit the mark!

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. 1 Corinthians 12:4