Everyone is Important!

Thank a Veteran for our flag

Unofficially summer is here this Memorial Day weekend (even though the calendar shows June 20^th as the official day). However, this year we have a new normal. We may only be able to hold BBQs and eating all that mouth-watering food in our own backyard with our own family instead of gathering in extra-large groups at a city park or beach. It’s a new way of doing things.

Hopefully, we are also not forgetting that today is a time to remember those who sacrificed for our very freedom to have BBQs! We owe our sincere Thank You to all the men and women of every single war who fought and sacrificed their lives in one way or another. Some of us remember firsthand the stories that have been told because we personally know friends and family members who have our deepest gratitude.

The Count is Indeed Important!

"There are approximately only 389,292 American veterans remaining of the 16 million who served our nation in World War II [National WWII Museum] and the oldest of these living today is Lawrence Brooks of LA who is 110 years old [militarytimes.com].

"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug. 5, 1964 - May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Affairs]

"2.7 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001 and over half of them have deployed more than once. Many times, that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved ones’ absence, mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns." [Watson Institute/Brown University].

These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 244 years on our own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].

The Struggle

Let's not forget!

Please understand, no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we wouldn't be enjoying American freedom if it were not for our military. And military spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to "hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. It’s a real struggle! Never knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else. Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military. Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They deserve respect and honor!

Living in the military sometimes takes its toll on women with devastating results. "Military workers of all ranks were most likely to be divorced by age 30, at a rate of 15%.” [Marketwatch.com]

Where is the Good News?

In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent an even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War [1861-1865] had not been fought, how much longer would African Americans have had to suffer as slaves? (Before the Civil War even ended, President Lincoln, on January 1, 1863, formally issued the Emancipation Proclamation to liberate all slaves.)

"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our military, praying for a quick resolution to conflicts, and praying for a minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides." [gotquestions.org]

For further study, Click on this link from GotQs.com:

WHY WAR?

“For everything there is a season. . . A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8 NLT).

[Note: please do not misunderstand this Scripture verse as some do, “…a time to hate.” Don’t we hate war, evil, poverty, crime, and the Coronavirus to name but a few human injustices? So, yes, there is a time to hate].   

Trading the Lie for the Truth

Garage sale fun!

There are a couple interesting shows on TV about how we all eventually reach a point in our homes when we cannot ignore the numerous piles of junk any longer. We even have the typical “junk drawer” where every bit and piece of our belongings end up in that one spot.

Stacks of magazines we keep for years nearly bury us. We think after the first reading we will go back someday and re-read them. That kind of hoarding is labeled as “reference material” and it makes us feel better than if we call it trash. Now that several restrictions are slowly being lifted following the Covid-19 attack, many of us are looking forward to one day soon when we can get back to enjoying weekend garage sales (yep, I am raising my hand too). We will gladly purchase another person’s junk they no longer want. Some of it is especially useful but, occasionally we buy items just because they look like something we might be able to use. Then we throw them into a box in the garage, forget about them, and they end up in our own garage sale the following year. Oh, my!

The summer organization bug is arriving like a parade of ants! We start thinking of what we can do to clear out all the rubbish. If we never, ever discard anything--fearing we will need it someday--we could become a candidate for one of those TV hoarding shows. It’s like trying to dig our way out of a thick jungle.

Stress-Free Answers

Those are all lifeless objects that we think we need, so we keep them. It appears all this accumulating gives us a sense of security, which of course, is false. But the same thing goes on in our brains, emotions, and spirits. We get bogged down worrying about every little thing, most of which we can do nothing about.

Money, or the lack of it, causes us much stress as most of us know. Don’t get caught believing the lie that money provides happiness. It does not! How many famously rich millionaires (or billionaires) have we heard about that are truly happy? It might appear that way at first, but an excess of money generally brings an excess of responsibility, which equals excess stress. Think of all those lottery stories of winners one year after their big win. Many of them are worse off than if they had never gambled because they cannot keep up with all their new possessions. Believe it or not, many people fall into bankruptcy when the lottery money is all gone!

A roof over our heads

Certainly, we do need enough money to feed our families and keep a roof over our heads which are huge fears right now but frantically seeking a surplus of money is not our only concern. We also deal with relationships that have gone wrong, finding a job after our Covid-19 layoff, trying to survive after divorce, dealing with child custody, health issues, finding supportive friends, car repairs, anxiety, dieting, disappointment, and doubt. And on, and on, and on.

This is exactly why God commands us not to worry! [Matthew 6:25-28]. Notice, it’s not a suggestion. He is serious about this subject. Why? Because the truth is worries are endless; they consume us. Only God knows our anguish when worry devours us. He never wants us to live in that state of unhappiness and mental chaos. And better yet, God has the answers to our dilemmas. He is just waiting for us to share our concerns with Him because He is the only One who can do something about them.  

The Best Combination: Joy and Love

If we find ourselves completely worry-free (really?), the opposite problem may become our enemy. Pleasure. Collecting or “hoarding” too much of the wrong thing can steer us into a state of denial. We find ourselves hanging with an unsuitable crowd. Doing what we never thought we would. Ignoring our standards and principles. Filling every minute of the day and night with inappropriate bodily entertainment, earthly treasures, and worshiping ourselves.

Please do not get the wrong idea here. God wants us to be happy and content. He is all about us finding our joy. Joy and love in our families, friendships, and close relationships. Discovering His plan and purpose for our lives can be the absolute best kind of pleasure; a fulfillment of everything we hope for. Living in God’s world, where He is ready and able to handle our worries and concerns, will provide us a way to grow stronger and stronger every day. Now, that is a thing of beauty!

“This is what the story means: The seed is God’s message. . . .The seed that fell among the thorny weeds is like those who hear God’s teaching, but they let the worries, riches, and pleasures of this life keep them from growing and producing good fruit” (Luke 8:11, 14 NCV).

Looking Forward to What Lies Ahead

New growth is exciting!

We might feel odd to find ourselves all alone--a tingling sensation making us want to shiver--maybe for the first time in our life. We probably went from our "Drive-in Movie" high school days, Homecoming football games, and living with our parents to anticipating the fun we would have bunking with three other college roommates four states away. Suddenly before we could blink an eye, we were madly combing all the wedding magazines looking for the perfect dress, best flowers, and honeymoon destinations! 

Let’s face it—most of us at that point had never been totally alone and on our own. Sound familiar? Fast forward to today and here we go again! We might call this the "Season of Survival" in more ways than one and it’s scarier than jumping out of a plane into the unknown for the first time. What if we panic? What if our parachute doesn't open? What if the pilot missed the designated spot and we land in the depths of the ocean weighted down and no way out? All the What Ifs rushing into our brain at once can overload our circuits! 

Are We Strong Enough to Survive?

In the wild, the survival of the fittest is the rule. There are many, many fascinating TV documentaries from National Geographic that shows this harsh reality. Even though we may cringe and have compassion for the smallest babies of the jungle, we surely know it can be no other way. Thankfully, our reality is probably a bit tamer! 

It would be an indisputable fact that if we have made it this far as a single-again woman and are reading this week's blog, we have already moved through at least a few (if not numerous) phases of survival. Congratulations! In case no one has pointed it out yet, we ARE strong enough to not only exist as a strong and determined woman (think of Scarlett in the classic movie, Gone With the Wind) but to continue to live and prosper on your own if that is our choice.    

Choose a survival place

We are among the many who have had a little taste of the unknown and are still here to tell about it. That's a big deal indeed! And now we can positively continue figuring out all the different angles of how to make our lives the best they can be without a hint of giving up. There's no room for that nonsense anyway, right? No matter what our age right now, what could we say is the next most important survival change? Consider the following question.

What do we want to see happen? (Hint: it will be different for each woman, so just take the time to really sit and think about this one, make notes, and come up with a workable answer.)

The Beginning, Middle, and the End

Yes, this really is the Beginning of our new lives in every way possible. It is our choice to make it a great one or let it become stale and unproductive which will prevent a Middle from happening. Then it follows there will be no room left for a legacy at the End. Think about it. 

The truth is, only God knows exactly what our Beginning, Middle, and End look like. He can see it all because He created us for a purpose and is not willing to let us go. We can only see a small portion of our life because blinders block much of the view. Our only choice is to ask God how to survive in the first place and follow His direction. We only have questions. God has all the right answers! 

"I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection...No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead" (Philippians 3:12-13 NLT).

Getting Through the Struggle

The top is scary!

We usually experience quite a relief when we can move on with our lives to a new chapter after so much sadness, grief, and turmoil. It is like reaching the top of a scary roller coaster ride and then flying headlong down a steep peak! Not for the faint of heart.

No matter how we got to where we are right now as a single-again woman, we can celebrate that we made it through the struggle! Our strength and determination have led us into a far better environment where we can create something new. It is a wonderful feeling! 

The Struggle is Real 
Many of us have tried to survive as best we can and raise a family on the salary of a receptionist—not easy at all! Indra Nooyi, an Indian-American citizen did not let that stop her. After receiving schooling in India, she moved to New York with extraordinarily little money to continue her studies, all while working as a receptionist. Indra was finally admitted to Yale School of Management. It was difficult, but eventually, Indra received her master’s degree in Public and Private Management.

The key? Indra never gave up! And that determination soon found her as the CEO of PepsiCo where she served for twenty-four years. During her time there, sales grew eighty percent! In 2015 and 2017, Forbes listed her the second most powerful woman in business [Wikipedia]. Indra currently serves on the board of Amazon. No one can keep this woman down!

Find the key!

We, too, need to hang onto those days that we fought to claim as our own! Yet, still, remember we do not live in fantasy land. As long as we are alive, we will have struggles in this life. We all understand things do not always go perfectly as we planned. The difference is that now we know we have the will to make it through whatever troubles come our way. We might even say, we have a "Master's Degree" in Endurance.

In fact, we may still be working on getting settled into the best creative job for us, working on a degree, perhaps finding a new place to live, or searching for the most amazing childcare. And, of course, keeping in touch with encouraging friends and even developing new friendships. Those are all struggles to one degree or another, but ones that can be enjoyable if we allow that to happen.

An Inch Away

With that said, where can we turn on those days when we rather just run away? This solution may strike us as surprising, but the simple answer is "Stand still and stay calm." Take a breath. Take several slow, deep breaths. Most likely, we need a break before we burn out because fear always grabs hold of us when we are just an inch away from success!

Fear comes from our (spiritual) Enemy who wants nothing else but to destroy anything we are trying to create. So, we say we should stand still and stay calm because God has a plan for each and every one of us. He Himself will fight for us if we ask for His assistance. Then, we wait for God's direction for our next successful step and follow His lead.    
  

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm" (Exodus 14:14 NLT).