How to Draw Strength and Inspiration

Many people wish to belong to something important where they can make a difference. Some of us join clubs of all kinds. There are groups for moms, book lovers, students, writers, artists, and for cooking, sewing, and working out just to name a few possibilities. Joining one of these sisterhoods helps to encourage and educate us.

Sometimes we have ideas that don’t seem to work out no matter what we do. We need the assistance of others to see how they do things we’ve never thought of as a solution. We learn as our hearts are warmed by their friendliness. Suddenly, the project we’ve been working on becomes much easier. And we breathe.

The fact is: we were never meant to do things all alone especially now that we are single again. What would be the point? If we want to share some new ideas, who would we share them with? What if we want to help in our neighborhood? How would we do it alone? We simply cannot get trapped in our own little world.  

We may not be mountain climbers like Aron Ralston but in the movie of his true-life story, 127 Hours, we witness how a huge boulder traps him in a canyon in Utah. All alone, he had no way to call for help. For five agonizing days, he drew “strength and inspiration from his family and friends.” Without them, he probably would still be pleading with the rocks!

Surprising Insight

Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking out loud to, well, nothing in particular? Of course, we don’t expect an answer (hopefully not), but, strangely, it seems to help every now and then even though the sound of our own voice in the silence may startle us.

Where we really need to hear an answer is when we are hurting, in trouble, feeling defeated, or we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other than our own. A friend who has been through all the mess life can dish out may have surprising insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are dealing with oh! so many dilemmas. And, in turn, we can be hers.

Without friends to share the good and the not-so-good in our lives, we leave ourselves open to the worst thinking patterns. How many times have we blown things out of proportion when left alone? What someone said to us yesterday in good faith today becomes an attack. We see two friends heading out the door together and immediately wonder why they didn’t invite us if they were going to the movies when really one friend was simply supporting the other to a doctor's appointment.  

We remember how very bad our lives have gone in years past and wrongly imagine how they will never get any better. We begin to see ourselves in the darkness without any hope. This kind of gloomy thinking can catapult us right into depression in its many forms.

How to Solve Many of Our Problems

If we are shy or an introvert, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if we are the social type, moving to a new town or a new job can make us feel reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways to join in with others.

• Exercise/walk/jog in the same place every day. Others will eventually make contact and it will give our smile a workout too.
• Find a church home nearby and shake hands with the door greeter.
• Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group with similar interests.
• Attend lectures, book signings, poetry groups. A different version of the one above.
• Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone.

Let’s keep adding to this list and soon our pet will wonder why her food bowl is empty all the time!

Discover What Works Best

The One who created us never intended for us to be alone. The first person on this earth was Adam but God knew Adam needed a companion and so He created Eve. Now, even if we have decided not to date yet, it would be to our advantage to meet new friends while at the same time, we stay in touch with some of our old friends. Eventually, we will learn what works best for our new lives and start growing one friendship after another. God knows and loves us like no other could. His “door” is always open when we want to talk. Try it!   

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).

 

 

 

 

 

How to Enlarge Your Circle of Friends

  A little boy about ten years old was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said, “My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?” “I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,” was the boy’s reply.

The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt, washed his little feet, and dried them with a towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, “No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now?”

As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered the question with these words: “Are you God’s wife?” (Author unknown. A story told in mirthandmotivation.com).

One Foot in Front of the Other

So many times, we tend to ignore what is right before us. Especially now when we have just gone through a devastating change in our lives, our problems seem insurmountable and we see nothing else in our path. Each day is difficult. Each hour is excruciating. Each minute is painful.  

These types of feelings are natural and expected especially when our circumstances are brand new to us and it hasn’t been long at all since we became single-again women (divorced, widowed, single mom). At this point, don’t let anyone tell you not to feel the sorrow and distress. There is a certain period where we all go through the stages of grief.

Eventually at some point, we will turn a corner and begin to feel better with each passing day as we put one foot in front of the other. This is when our eyes open a little wider and we can lift our heads. We might even surprise ourselves simply by smiling—at ourselves and others too.

Now is the opportunity to figure out what to do with our lives. How to live differently because, obviously, we are different. Unfortunately, many women try and continue to make everything remain exactly as it was hoping their old life will just reappear in a better light. This is usually an unbelievably bad idea that holds us back from growing and spreading our wings!           

Be a Friend. Gain a Friend.

“Life is 10% what happens and 90% of how you react to it.” (Charles Swindoll, pastor, and author).

Just like the “wise” woman in the (likely fictional) story above, we might try and not dwell on ourselves so much that we forget what is happening in the lives of other people. Of course, the story does not indicate if the woman was single or not, but it seems to us that she was at the very least, generous, kind, and unselfish.    

One of the changes we may have already experienced as a single-again woman is that our circle of “friends” seems to have evolved into several new relationships. We find ourselves gravitating towards other women going through the same scenario. That’s a great sign!

Why? Because we are learning how to spread our wings and have become interested in finding out how others have successfully changed their lives for the better. We are “hanging out” with those who can provide insight, intuition, and intelligence about something we know little about.

Arms Wide Open

The greatest insight we can acquire is to recognize that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us above and beyond what we can imagine. He is unlike any earthly father we have ever known.

God knows us inside and out and cares deeply what we have experienced and what happened to us before and after the change in our marital status. He is waiting for each of us to turn to Him with all our sorrows, grief, heartache, and pain. His arms are wide open! Call out to Him. Run to Him now!                 

“The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends” (Proverbs 11:30 NLT).