How Do We Get What We Want Now?

“However, if I were to let my life be taken over by what is urgent, I might very well never get around to what is essential. It's so easy to spend your whole time being preoccupied with urgent matters and never starting to live, really live.” (Henri J.M. Nouwen, Dutch Catholic Priest, and Professor at University of Notre Dame, Yale and Harvard Divinity schools)  

In our ultra-busy, keyboard world, how do we find enough hours to get anything done? Do we make time for what is important? Seems our ringtones and touch sounds would successfully remind us what to do and when since they are so “smart.” 

That Was Then, This is Now 

Many of us grew up under a firm hand that required perfection. Things had to be done exactly right at the exact time. This taught us to expect the world, our world, to never fall under a human mistake of any kind. We may have even lived with a spouse that expected the same thing in his wife. It created a lot of guilt and turned us into stressed-out women. 

Our lives may still feel like a whirlwind, but feelings cannot really be trusted. They change from moment to moment. What is true is that we are smart women and that does not change! We have been through enough to know what we want now. We may not know quite how to get it just yet, but we have ideas running around in our heads.

First, let us sit down and start a notebook. We can get those what-do-I-do-now thoughts out of our heads and onto paper. They will become real goals and the strain and pressure will stop giving us headaches. Get some colorful dividers for different categories important to us. Suggestions: Dreams, Designs, and Drawings. Plans, Patterns, and Projects. Keep going. Have fun with it! 

If we are naturally visual people, why not cut out photos from magazines that represent our goals and paste them into our notebooks? On the other hand, if we are more comfortable with being a tactile person, try painting and create mixed-media pages. By the way, if there are still children at home, show them they can start their own Dream Notebook. This will help them get excited about life too and they will be way ahead of the game of life!    

Meet the Creator of Dreams

God did not mean for us to be so weary and worried all the time. He has plans for us and a lot to say about our needs (hint: being discontent with life is not one of them). 

Making ourselves frantic if the pillowcases never got white enough in the laundry will rob us of our joy. This is why it is so important to get in touch with God daily. First thing in the morning while the coffee, tea, or hot chocolate is brewing is the perfect time to ask what plans He has for each of us today. He has a perfect answer and is delighted with the kind of women we are! 

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31 NLT).

 

How Can You Keep Up with Your Hopes and Dreams?

It is certainly not surprising to hear nearly seventy-five percent of American women dye their hair something other than their natural color as compared to just seven percent in 1950 (Clairol 2008 study as reported at Emerita.com, a women’s wellness site). Of course, women in Hollywood tend to lead the trends. We usually expect to see women such as Helen Mirren (age 75) and Blythe Danner (77) display their beautiful locks in their natural state. But even younger ones choose to sport a change like Kate Winslet (46) and Lady Gaga (34). And at 89 years young, Puerto Rican actress Rita Moreno is still gorgeous! 

Let’s face it --as we age, our health, and our looks start turning towards a more natural way of life. It becomes apparent to us that maybe, just maybe, we can avoid much of what we thought was necessary for our younger years such as the latest lipstick color (but still a great way to uplift our spirits!), foundation formula, and hair color. It just does not seem as important as it once was.

This is not to say we should not keep ourselves looking our absolute best. Not only watching our diet and participating in exercise but once we choose to turn a shade of gray, we may need to find other colors to wear in our make-up and clothing. Gray, silver, and white tend to “wash out” skin color. A brighter, color-coded clothes closet with various “happy” hues can help solve this problem. Try it out on the next shopping trip and bring some new colors into the dressing room—a fun experiment!

Finding Joy Every Step of the Way

Someone once said (it’s been attributed to many people), “The older I get, the wiser my parents get!” It’s a funny quote that pops up every now and then but points out the truth of our circumstances. As single-again women, we have been through more than we thought we could ever handle. Maybe one reason for our natural locks turning a beautiful silver, but also a reason we are much stronger today than ever!

The joy of living on our own are the changes that cause us to become an entirely new person. We are older, yes. We are wiser, yes. And unless we have re-married, we no longer must worry about taking care of another person right now. If we want to become an all-around better person, we can choose to concentrate on keeping up with our hopes and dreams that were put on a shelf a long time ago! We then start seeing a woman who welcomes the chance to improve her perspective or attitude about life.

The progress we are looking for involves learning how to form plans for our own happiness while at the same time being careful not to follow just any unproven recipe or a supposed solution someone may offer to us. We are now wiser than we’ve ever been and so we must use our good sense and take everything “with a grain of different.”

It may help to meet with a life coach or counselor to figure out the best direction to go before jumping into things. Experience teaches us that our lives are quite different now and so might our paths, hopes, and dreams. It’s an exciting journey to find out what we can do. Whatever didn’t work in the past, may not work in our present. So, let’s be open to new and wonderful ways of thinking, concepts, and passions. Wow! We are on our way!

A Good Book to Read

We may never have realized that God Himself points us down the correct path for our best life. And it will certainly be different for each one of us. In Psalm 139 of the Bible, it says He knows everything about us. Of course, He does because God created us perfectly (He does not make mistakes), He knows when we travel, stand up, sit down, rest, what we are going to say, and even our thoughts.

From the time we are born until way past when our hair turns white, God has us in His hands ready to make sure we are blessed when we follow Him in all we do. He is our Guide, Helper, and the Author of every single moment of our lives as recorded in His divine book! Imagine that: 

The Book of ___ (enter your name) ___by The Creator of the Universe.

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you” (Isaiah 46:4 NLT).

 

What Is Your Best Asset?

Looking forward

Most vehicles normally can go forward as well as backward. We've seen trains travel in reverse in order to either switch tracks or connect with a different car or caboose. But they most certainly do this quickly in order to go forward which is their main purpose to get to a new destination. 

Obviously, our cars go forward and backward so we can maneuver properly in and out of garages, parking spaces, and so forth. Yet both trains and cars constantly deal with the danger of traveling backward and avoiding an accident. Amazingly, planes have no way to move in reverse! They can only go forward on the ground. And believe it or not, crash statistics show flying is the safest way to travel. Now there is something to remember in the New Year!

Happy New Year 2020
This is a brand new year and we are tempted to look back over 2019 to reminisce about things that have happened to us. True, we do need to learn lessons from yesterday, but constantly dwelling on every regrettable past event is a danger to our future and like a train traveling backward unable to stop!

We can imagine what would happen if that occurred. Derailment. An alarm should go off in our heads right about now. We simply cannot move forward with our new lives while we are simultaneously stumbling backward. It's so much more exciting to travel ahead and see the sites!

This is perhaps the best chance we will get this year. A chance to celebrate and then make plans for a better future. Why wouldn’t we want all that? In fact, we may already have vague plans in the back of our minds that we wish to activate but are not quite sure how to go about it. Or maybe we haven't found the time yet to think about plans. (Careful. Don't look backward!)

With five days already into 2020 (and a new decade!), it's time to start our newly acquired single-again life or at least another year into our single-again life. Whatever we choose to do, let’s not just sit there until we hear the radio announcer say, “Only 23 days until Christmas!” Grab a pen and notebook or journal and make some notes—we’re in this together. Here we go:

You think you have problems?

Clear thinking is an asset. Avoid vagueness in making plans. Instead, be specific and strive for developed ideas. Write down just one specific sentence or short paragraph that describes an ideal situation. I want to work in the business world (vague). I am going to apply for the digital marketing position at ExploreTech this week (specific). This gets the idea out of our brains and onto paper where we can see it and start planning. 

Something new. Be open to new possibilities. Working at jobs we did not enjoy in our past gives us a clue what not to do if we want to be happy. List three ideas to try even if it means accepting a temporary entry-level position. More satisfaction, less stress until that promotion comes along.

Build relationships. It may be time for a few new friends (while hanging on to some good, loyal friends), especially those in the same situation. They are out there if we look for them! We might discover someone who likes what we like at a new job, a friendly neighbor, or supportive Christian friends. 

Face Forward
Looking back into our past keeps God from moving us forward. Repeat that sentence out loud! Write it on the refrigerator. Even before we were born, God made good plans for us, not plans for disaster (that was human error). He's just been waiting for us to face forward and listen. With God all things are possible. Nothing is too difficult for him even miracles to help us recover from our messy lives. Therefore, we need him in our corner, especially now. Just ask him—he loves helping us! 

"May he grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed" (Psalm 20:4 NLT).

What New Plans For a New Life Excite You?

Biking to Chanel in Paris

There are many, many reasons for an anniversary including the day you got your first silver car with its leather seats and automatic rearview mirror, started college in another state and ended up with the best roommate, moved to a beautiful new home with shade trees over the patio after saving for nine years, or traveled to Paris, rented a bicycle, and walked into Chanel for a new dress! And certainly, the day(s) your children were born was the very best kind of special. Hundreds of occasions to remember fondly. You probably have boxes and boxes of photos and souvenirs to prove it. There may have even been a time when you cherished the day you met your first celebrity in person (Diana Ross, Glen Campbell, and Stevie Nicks immediately come to mind!).

Reaching Your High Point

Many of these days were happy ones we never want to forget. But not all anniversaries are the same. Most of us have had to learn to deal with the loss of a parent, sibling, favorite relative, friend, or spouse. The grief of that occasion may lessen over the years but is always present in your mind. It is a true low point on your lifeline. Thankfully, with help, you can reach a higher point where you remember the good days with that person more often than that one bittersweet day. 

Of course, not all anniversary dates are good ones. There is that day when the "ending" was heart-breaking, to say the least. Divorce brought up all sorts of unwanted feelings you would rather have never faced but were forced to come to grips with them. You may have heard that in some ways divorce is worse than death in that the person you made vows with is still around. You cringe when you must see that person again as it brings up all the ugliness. You are never really rid of it. But take a deep breath: there is hope!  

New Life, New Plans

Planning your new life

Take heart, dear one! You still have a lot of choices on how to handle your life now. The best part is you can (are able to) build a whole new life from scratch just the way you want it. Nothing will hold you back even if you must rearrange several parts of your life. And that’s a good thing! It can be very exciting because how many times does a person get a second or third chance? The only hurdle is your own hesitation or fear of the unknown. It’s a matter of getting out of your comfort zone and creating new plans. If this is sounding familiar, you are not the only one. So, take a deep breath and jump in. You can do this!

Start with finding one of many support groups for the divorced or for the grieving. Join a women's group, volunteer, or find love and support through a local Christian church and Bible study. You will soon discover your true gifts and talents and be on your way! Just know that God understands every minute of your every day. No, He didn't cause your divorce as many women would like to believe. That is a lie straight from the enemy (Satan) as is all evil. In fact, God was there with you every single minute. He got you safely to this point, didn't He? Trust Him because He has a plan for the rest of your life. He always has had your best interest at heart! It's going to be a great adventure! 

"Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall" (Psalms 55:22 NLT).  

18 Simple Ideas for Summer

Summer is for relaxing and taking much-needed breaks, wouldn't you say? So let's keep it simple today and see what we can do to make life a little bit better now that almost half of 2018 is behind us. Congratulations! You've come a long way! 

Without getting too serious (who needs that when we are looking forward to summer vacation?), see if any of the following eighteen simple ideas will boost your life:

Simplify. Nothing wrong with paper. Digital calendars are fine for what they can do faster. Then they crash, we lose information and our minds! Do yourself a favor and shop for a mid-year day planner. Really. 

Organize. Make sure your purse has a pocket for everything: cosmetics, phone, keys, pens, water bottle, and of course, day planner. Let your purse double as a tote instead of carrying both.     

Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize. Use it under make-up and at bedtime after cleaning. Takes years off the face.

Do one good and new thing for your health. Change to smoothies for breakfast. Switch to a new salad dressing. Do spinning instead of Zumba for exercise. Anything that’s new creates happy momentum. 

Connect. Instead of texting, call someone for an invite to lunch. 

Tackle the next thing on your Bucket List.

Find God. Find Peace. Don’t do life alone! He’s waiting.

Exchange a real book in print with a friend. Or stop by your local library for a free one. Radical!

Bake extra cupcakes and bring a few to a shut-in neighbor.

Pick a subject you know nothing about and take a class.

Practice saying “No” once in awhile instead of resenting your “Yes.”

Declutter your home office. Place some things out-of-reach to force yourself to get out of your chair now and then. 

Clean out the freezer. Not everything will keep for the next nine years!

Buy your own Christian Bible and read for just seven minutes a day (or night). 

"Wind Chime" Flower

Plant something unusual this year like White Alpine Strawberries - a gourmet treat; Sunzilla Sunflowers - they are Giant!; or Parrot Tulips for multicolor magic!

Explore where you’ve never been (besides countries or states), how about the symphony, underground caves, a rodeo, or a fashion show. There are a million things out there!

Splurge this one time and hire a maid to do spring cleaning top to bottom.

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Have fun and keep going! Remember God loves your heart and wants to see you enJOYing the abundant life He gave you. "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).