Sometimes we have ideas that don’t seem to work out no matter what we do. We need
the assistance of others to see how they do things we’ve never thought of as a
solution. We learn as our hearts are warmed by their friendliness. Suddenly,
the project we’ve been working on becomes much easier. And we breathe.
The fact is: we were never meant to do things all alone especially now that we
are single again. What would be the point? If we want to share some new ideas,
who would we share them with? What if we want to help in our neighborhood? How
would we do it alone? We simply cannot get trapped in our own little
world.
We may not be mountain climbers like Aron Ralston but in the movie of his true-life story, 127 Hours, we witness how a huge boulder traps him in a canyon in Utah. All alone, he had no way to call for help. For five agonizing days, he drew “strength and inspiration from his family and friends.” Without them, he probably would still be pleading with the rocks!
Surprising Insight
Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking
out loud to, well, nothing in particular? Of course, we don’t expect an answer
(hopefully not), but, strangely, it seems to help every now and then even
though the sound of our own voice in the silence may startle us.
Where we really need to hear an answer is when we are hurting, in trouble,
feeling defeated, or we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other
than our own. A friend who has been through all the mess life can dish out may
have surprising insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are
dealing with oh! so many dilemmas. And, in turn, we can be hers.
Without friends to share the good and the not-so-good in our lives, we leave
ourselves open to the worst thinking patterns. How many times have we blown
things out of proportion when left alone? What someone said to us yesterday in
good faith today becomes an attack. We see two friends heading out the door
together and immediately wonder why they didn’t invite us if they were going to
the movies when really one friend was simply supporting the other to a doctor's
appointment.
We remember how very bad our lives have gone in years past and wrongly imagine how they will never get any better. We begin to see ourselves in the darkness without any hope. This kind of gloomy thinking can catapult us right into depression in its many forms.
How to Solve Many of Our Problems
If we are shy
or an introvert, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if
we are the social type, moving to a new town or a new job can make us feel
reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways
to join in with others.
- Exercise/walk/jog in the same place every day. Others will eventually make contact and it will give our smile a workout too.
- Find a church home nearby and shake hands with the door greeter.
- Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group with similar interests.
- Attend lectures, book signings, poetry groups. A different version of the one above.
- Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone.
Let’s keep adding to this list and soon our pet will wonder why her food bowl is empty all the time!
Discover What Works Best
The One who
created us never intended for us to be alone. The first person on this earth
was Adam but God knew Adam needed a companion and so He created Eve. Now, even
if we have decided not to date yet, it would be to our advantage to meet new
friends while at the same time, we stay in touch with some of our old friends.
Eventually, we will learn what works best for our new lives and start growing
one friendship after another. God knows and loves us like no other could. His
“door” is always open when we want to talk. Try it!
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).
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