The Big Picture from Beginning to End

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. (Oscar Wilde)

Now that we are coming to the end of the 2020 pandemic, many of us can relate to the quote above. So, we should be careful what we wish for, right? We may have hated our previous job and suddenly, it was gone!

Let's face it. No beating around the bush. Once we become single again, most likely we will need to either find an alternative income source or a regular job. Even if we have all the money we need (which may not last for long), sitting around with nothing to do is terribly boring, unproductive, and detrimental to our social life as we all experienced in 2020!

There are actually many benefits to taking a job or starting a whole brand-new career. Try a little exercise and list as many advantages as possible. If we have already been working for a while, maybe we are thinking of changing our job. That is not a bad thing by any means. We have to take pride in our work and if it's time to move on, we'll know it by the dissatisfaction we feel.

5 Perks Why Working Is Good for Us

• Our health and happiness will improve.
• Taking the risk will energize us.
• Gives us reason to become who we really are.
• Creates friendships with those in the same situation.
• Provides ways to find new interests.      

The Wrong Thing at the Right Time

All of this may seem scary at first, but even if we have never worked before outside the home, there are ways to get started with that too. One of the first things to do is to find our strengths. If accounting is not our thing, taking a job as a bookkeeper would be a disaster. If we hate baking, working as a pastry chef would drive us crazy. If sales give us hives, selling cars would be a joke. Get the picture? 

WHAT AM I GOOD AT? [Click Here to find out]

Next, we do not need to be told, education is important. If a degree is already on our shelf, then great--we need to get out the door and hit the pavement! If not, then, obviously, the key is to get educated in a field that is exciting for us. It may mean night school while we work elsewhere to pay the bills, but then what else do we have to do with our time? If we work hard at it, it will happen before we know it. 

Who is Directing Us?

Some of us are planners from way back. Organizing is at the top of our list. Others are definitely not in that camp! We need help for sure. What is really good to know is that we do not need to do this alone. There are support groups, counselors, and friends to call on when we are down in the dumps. 

There is also One who cares about us more than anyone ever could. God knows what we need (not want) the most and what is best for us. He sees the Big Picture from beginning to end. The best we can do is look at our life with blinders on. God is willing to direct our steps until we reach His ideal for our perfect life. Our part is just to ask!

“Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs 16:3 NLT).

 

 

What Does Happiness Mean to You Right Now?

This has been a year of challenges, frustration, heartache, and not knowing what to do next. We are left to our own devices to create some kind of normalcy in our homes. In about two weeks, we celebrate Thanksgiving and for sure, it will probably be quite different for many families. Let us just stop for a minute here and offer our condolences to any of our readers who have suffered unbearable losses. Our hearts are with you.

Many of these emotions are new to us and can feel awkward because we have lived a certain way and changes are occurring rapidly—some of them becoming permanent. The important thing to remember is even though this is a whole different way of looking at the world (masks, social distancing, grocery limitations, etc.) that doesn’t necessarily mean our lives are taking a turn for the worse if we keep our health intact.

Our outlook can eventually become one of encouragement and an incentive to change things for the better. For instance, we know of a person who is now permanently working full-time from home since her company has suspended “live” operations on-site for all employees and permanently closed its physical doors. This has been a blessing for her not to have to commute to work every day and, additionally, for her second grader who is now enjoying homeschooling and having mom nearby.

Open the Door and Get Some Fresh Air

“Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.” (John Barrymore, American actor)

It’s true, some of us are feeling a bit isolated right now not being able to see our friends and family in person much. We are beginning to realize life may never really be the same as before this pandemic. So, the best effort we can make would be to “reinvent” our lives for the better.

We can start by figuring out what happiness currently means to us. Like right now. Today. This week. This month. It probably will be quite different than last year so really think about it. What is our number one need and how can we find a way to make that happen?

Would connecting with a friend be our current wish? That might mean picking up the phone to hear their voice instead of emailing or texting. Or maybe meeting for lunch in a park if we stay six feet apart. We not only will cause our own happiness but cause our friend some happiness too. Bingo!

Are we really missing out on some great food? True, we may not be able to go to our favorite restaurant if they don’t have dine-in service, but we certainly can go to the grocery store, pick up some items, go home, and surprise ourselves by trying out a new recipe. There will probably be leftovers for tomorrow too.

It’s possible we are going “stir crazy” staying at home so much. And even though we thought all our closets and drawers would get cleaned out and organized once and for all, it just hasn’t happened. So maybe gathering a few family members, packing up the car, and going camping for a few days will change our outlook drastically.

Where Is Our Happiness?

Okay, we get the idea. We can certainly go through that door and make our own happiness. Try out old things in a new way. Develop new daily routines. Let’s face it--we are the only ones holding ourselves back. Everyone is in the same boat right now so no sense making things worse by complaining, whining, and giving up. That’s not us. Life is a big challenge, especially now, but we are strong, determined women ready for anything. Let’s make it happen!

The last suggestion to move closer to happiness is to either continue praying or start praying for friends, family, neighbors, our cities, states, country, and the world that we will see an end to Covid-19 in the near future. Those are seven important categories, so maybe choose one each day and really pray for needs to be met whatever they are.  

God knows. 

God cares.

God helps.

He’s waiting to hear from us.

"Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found" (Psalm 119:35 NLT).

 

How to Dig Our Way Out of the Jungle

 Many of us in this season of staying indoors and disinfecting everything have discovered how we all eventually reach a point in our homes when we cannot ignore the numerous piles of junk any longer. We even have the typical “junk drawer” where every bit and piece of our belongings end up in that one spot.

Stacks of magazines we keep for years thinking that after the first reading we will go back someday and re-read them. We justify that kind of hoarding as “reference material” and it makes us feel better than if we called it trash. Before this pandemic, many of us gravitated to weekend garage sales (yep, I’m raising my hand too) and purchased another person’s junk they no longer wanted. Some of it was especially useful but, occasionally we bought items just because they looked like something we might be able to use. Then we threw them into a box in the garage, forgot about them, and they ended up in our own garage sale the following year. Oh, my!

The summer organization bug is in full swing especially now. We start thinking of what we can do to clear out all the rubbish. If we never, ever discard anything--fearing we will need it someday--we could become a candidate for one of those TV hoarding shows. It’s like trying to dig our way out of a jungle that is about to devour us.

Finding Our True Happiness

Those are all lifeless objects that we think we need, so we keep them. It appears our hoarding gives us a sense of security, which of course, is false. But the same thing goes on in our brains, emotions, and spirits. We get bogged down worrying about every little thing, most of which we can do nothing about.

Money, or the lack of it causes much stress as most of us know. But don’t get caught believing money provides happiness. It does not! How many famously rich millionaires do we know that are truly happy? It might appear that way at first, but an excess of money generally brings an excess of responsibility, which equals excess stress. Think of all those lottery stories of winners one year after their big win. Many of them are worse off than if they had never gambled because they cannot keep up with all their new possessions. Believe it or not, many people fall into bankruptcy when the money is all gone!

Of course, money is not the only worry in life. We can get overwhelmed by relationships that have gone wrong, working at a job we hate, trying to survive after divorce, dealing with child custody, health issues, finding supportive friends, car repairs, anxiety, dieting, disappointment, and doubt. And on, and on, and on.

This is exactly why God commands us [Matthew 6:25-28] not to worry! This is not a suggestion. He is serious about this subject. Why? Because worries are endless; they consume us. Only God knows our anguish when worry devours us. He never wants us in that state of unhappiness and mental chaos. And better yet, He has the answers to our dilemmas. God is just waiting for us to come to Him with our concerns.

Life-Long Learning

If we find ourselves completely worry-free (really?), the opposite problem may become our enemy. Pleasure. Too much of the wrong kind can steer us into a state of denial. We find ourselves hanging with an unsuitable crowd. Doing what we never thought we would. Ignoring our standards and principles. Filling every minute of the day and night pursuing bodily enjoyment, earthly treasures, and worshiping ourselves.

Please don’t get the incorrect idea here. God wants us to be happy and content. He is all about us finding our joy--joy and love in friendships and close relationships. Discovering His plan and purpose for our lives can be the absolute best kind of pleasure; a fulfillment of everything we hope for. Living in God’s world, where He is ready and able to handle our worries and concerns, will provide us a way to grow stronger and stronger every day. Now, that’s a thing of beauty!

“This is what the story means: The seed is God’s message. The seed that fell among the thorny weeds is like those who hear God’s teaching, but they let the worries, riches, and pleasures of this life keep them from growing and producing good fruit” (Luke 8:11, 14 NCV).

 

 

How Can You Find Peace in Your Circumstances?

Ready for a garage sale

Someone once noted that during the first 50 years of our life we go about acquiring things and the last 50 years of our life we will go about getting rid of our things! Hence the importance of neighborhood garage sales. And who doesn’t like garage sales whether we are getting rid of our own “stuff” or they are someone else’s things? It’s kind of funny but probably has much truth in it too.

Many single-again women have already gone through (or will eventually go through) a type of “environmental cleansing” simply because of current circumstances. Maybe it was due to a move to a new house, renting out a room in the present house, or finally getting around to discarding all the hoarding trash that has collected over the years in every room of the house. It may not have been something we desired to do at the time, but still, we were compelled to face the idea of de-cluttering vs. getting buried in things and possessions that only reminded us of a life we were trying to let go of.       

Talk About Dizziness!

Depending on how long it has been since our marital status moved to a different column on our tax forms (divorced, widowed, or single mom), it has changed us both on the inside as well as the outside. We are not the same woman we once were whether we recognize it or not. And that may be the precise key to some strange feelings of woe—sadness, heartbreak, worry, and gloom--we get now and then. We just are not the same and we are having trouble admitting that fact. We have shifted 180 degrees, but our heads are lagging. Talk about dizziness!   

It’s possible we may be trying to fight what’s going on inside instead of “going with the flow” and finding peace. Our life has changed and wants to get on with the business of living while we are stuck in “quicksand.” Life itself is still moving faster than ever and, true, time is not going to wait for us. It’s a matter of trying to discover who we are and what we really want now.                    

If that familiar “Aha” moment is knocking at the door right now, that’s a great sign. Deep inside we all wish for the very best to happen now that we are on our own. Of course, it will be different for each one of us. For some, their top priority may be a much-needed vacation. New clothes for our kids going back to school. A new house in a new neighborhood, maybe even a new state. Education. A new business we've always wanted to open. These are all important for sure and we do need many of them. But we must understand most are not permanent. So enjoy anything good that comes along, but don't count them as a forever thing.        

Aaah! Peaceful

Finding the Recipe for Peace

Just like all that clutter we want to get rid of in our next garage sale, we will be more content and peaceful if we continue the process of cleaning out the junk both in our homes and in our minds. Figure out what is really important to keep and dump the rest. Hint: if we keep looking for empty boxes to store it all away, we don’t need it! [Okay, maybe the annual holiday decorations can stay]. We can only use so much “stuff” in our lives, so keep sorting and dumping until a new feeling of happiness invades our very existence! Strive for less chaos and disarray (some call this minimalism) to make room for peace, joy, and pure contentment. These are the things that will last forever and we can't have too much of them!        

In the Bible, Apostle Paul said, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One [God] who makes me who I am” (Philippians 4:12-13 MSG).

What Exactly Will Make Us Happy?

Some people are so thrilled by road trips, they hop in their SUV or camper and head off to a new adventure, as if they have never traveled! There are those who plan weeks ahead exactly where and when they will go, and others who are so spontaneous they get an idea and just pick up and “Go.” Good for them!

There are approximately 2.7 million miles of paved roads in the United States. That is a lot of traveling to do without some kind of map and direction. Of course, we all know people who rather take the risk without one. Sometimes, they never get to where they are going. Sometimes they do, but get so sidetracked, it can take a lifetime of confusion and pain along the way. We’ve all taken a few of those side trips!

Many of us want to get to the place called Happiness (which is entirely different than the real town of Happy, TX, and the 1999 comedy movie of the same name). The location we are talking about here is a state of mind. It’s a feel-good emotion we all want to grab onto.

Happiness vs. Joy

Before we go any further, let’s just be clear. Many, many things or places will make us happy and that’s a good thing. No sad frowns here. But we need to realize, happiness is temporary. So what exactly makes us happy?

• Chocolate does it for most of us
• The first spring bloom in our garden
• A good book on a sunny day on our porch
• Visiting an art gallery
• Going to the movies
• Raindrops and snowflakes
• Wiggling our toes in sand
• Our favorite song on the radio
• A good restaurant meal

On the other hand, when we experience joy, we know we have a permanent and wonderful gift. Something we never want to let go of and will cherish forever. Where do we find joy?

• The touch of a newborn baby
• Sunrises and sunsets
• Newfound faith
• The smell of rain approaching
• God’s love
• The voices of our children
• The peace of Jesus
• Family
• All the promised blessings of God

The Best Road Trip of All

Life is an exciting adventure, but we need to be aware of roadblocks and dangers along the way. A map is always handy to prevent getting stuck at a dead end. Thankfully, we have a Guide and an entire Book of Maps.

Even if it took a little while to get here, we can now abundantly bask in each and every stop on the way to Happiness via a little place called Joy and a Guide named Jesus.

You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence. Acts 2:28