How Could We Create Our Own Independence Day?

Happy Independence Day 2021! True! This is July 5^th, but this year we have an extended weekend to celebrate America’s 245^th Birthday, July 4th, 1776--the day when the Declaration of Independence was adopted by Congress and still stands today!  

We might even say we are in the mood to celebrate most anything since we are nearing the end of Covid-19 (eventually). It is starting to feel good! On the other hand, let’s not forget to hold up a candle and say a prayer honoring those we have lost in many disasters already this year.

No, we are not going to have a history lesson here today. We are simply saying that the celebration of America is more than just sparklers and fireworks (although those are lots of fun!). Instead, we want to point out that our lives can be a celebration too-- every day. 

Now that we are out on our own and living as single-again women, what could we say is our greatest feeling of all? Would it be the peace we now enjoy? Would it be relief from all the chaos and verbal and physical abuse? How about freedom? All of these and more are a reason to celebrate and fill our hearts with unexplainable joy.

Our Own Independence Day

If our lives do not exactly feel that way (yet), it is okay! We may still be mourning for a life left behind even though that life wasn't what we imagined it should be way back when. Now, think about this: all that freedom we talked about in the above paragraph can be scary and maybe the reason that keeps us from moving forward.   

We have many difficult choices right now so it may seem easier to just turn back and grab for something that is no longer there, which only causes confusion and emptiness. But when we look at our own Independence Day and determine to move through the open doorway, we will see the possibilities for our best life on the other side. And our hearts will dance and sing! 

The momentum that escorts us through that door is exciting. It is like riding a bicycle for the first time in many, many years. We won’t have time to look back but only to view the passing scenery. There are so many things to do, places to go, and plans to make that our days will fly by! Surely we have had ideas running around in our heads for years that we are now free to pursue.

“Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending” (Carl Bard aka Carl Sandburg, American writer, and editor).

The quote is a favorite because it displays an attitude of never giving up. If one thing does not work in our lives, we can always try another way. If going in one direction is frustrating, choose a friendlier path. Don’t allow anything to get in the way. Deep down, we know what we want. We must go after it. Today!

Anything Missing?

Congratulations! We are on our way! Planning, experimenting, and seeking wise counsel are all part of this new way to rebuild our lives. We may even want to find other women who are traveling in the same direction. In fact, it is advisable to do so. They may be struggling at the beginning or learning to navigate in the middle or have nearly reached the finish line. So, someone who knows will be there to come alongside to help.

The Bible says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT).

If we sense something missing while planning our adventure, it may just be a lack of support from others. Let’s not keep our new marital status a secret fearing other women will gossip. If our attitude is new, fresh, and hopeful, others can’t help but see an improvement in us.

"A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song" (Proverbs 15:15 The Message). 

 

 

What Does All This Mean?

Today. Always. We owe our sincere Thank You to all the men and women of every single war who fought and sacrificed their lives in one way or another for our freedom! Some of us remember firsthand the stories that have been told because we personally know friends and family members who have our deepest gratitude.

"There are approximately only 325,574 veterans remaining of the 16 million who served our nation in World War II. [US Dept of Veteran’s Affairs]. The oldest living WWII veteran today is 110 years old!"

"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug. 5, 1964-May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Administration]

"2.77 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001, and over half of them have deployed more than once or twice. Many times, that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved one's absence, mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns." [Watson-Brown University]

These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 245 years on our own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].

Taking Our Heads Out of the Sand

Please understand, no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we would not be enjoying American freedom if it were not for our military. Remember, freedom is not free! Military spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to "hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. Never knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else. Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military. Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They deserve the respect and honor!

Living in the military sometimes takes its toll on women with devastating results. "The divorce rate among both officer and enlisted men and women over 2014 was 3.1 percent, only slightly higher than the 2005 rate of 3 percent. The newly released statistics show that the rate has steadily declined since 2011 when it reached a high-water mark of 3.7 percent." [The Pentagon, U.S. Dept of Defense]

Where is the Good News?

"In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent an even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War had not been fought, how much longer would African-Americans have had to suffer as slaves?

"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our military, praying for a quick resolution to conflicts and praying for a minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides."

For further study, click on this Link from GotQs.com:

WHY WAR?

 “For everything there is a season. . . A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8 NLT).

Everyone is Important!

Thank a Veteran for our flag

Unofficially summer is here this Memorial Day weekend (even though the calendar shows June 20^th as the official day). However, this year we have a new normal. We may only be able to hold BBQs and eating all that mouth-watering food in our own backyard with our own family instead of gathering in extra-large groups at a city park or beach. It’s a new way of doing things.

Hopefully, we are also not forgetting that today is a time to remember those who sacrificed for our very freedom to have BBQs! We owe our sincere Thank You to all the men and women of every single war who fought and sacrificed their lives in one way or another. Some of us remember firsthand the stories that have been told because we personally know friends and family members who have our deepest gratitude.

The Count is Indeed Important!

"There are approximately only 389,292 American veterans remaining of the 16 million who served our nation in World War II [National WWII Museum] and the oldest of these living today is Lawrence Brooks of LA who is 110 years old [militarytimes.com].

"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug. 5, 1964 - May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Affairs]

"2.7 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001 and over half of them have deployed more than once. Many times, that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved ones’ absence, mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns." [Watson Institute/Brown University].

These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 244 years on our own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].

The Struggle

Let's not forget!

Please understand, no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we wouldn't be enjoying American freedom if it were not for our military. And military spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to "hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. It’s a real struggle! Never knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else. Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military. Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They deserve respect and honor!

Living in the military sometimes takes its toll on women with devastating results. "Military workers of all ranks were most likely to be divorced by age 30, at a rate of 15%.” [Marketwatch.com]

Where is the Good News?

In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent an even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War [1861-1865] had not been fought, how much longer would African Americans have had to suffer as slaves? (Before the Civil War even ended, President Lincoln, on January 1, 1863, formally issued the Emancipation Proclamation to liberate all slaves.)

"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our military, praying for a quick resolution to conflicts, and praying for a minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides." [gotquestions.org]

For further study, Click on this link from GotQs.com:

WHY WAR?

“For everything there is a season. . . A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8 NLT).

[Note: please do not misunderstand this Scripture verse as some do, “…a time to hate.” Don’t we hate war, evil, poverty, crime, and the Coronavirus to name but a few human injustices? So, yes, there is a time to hate].   

How to Slow Down, Survive and Thrive

Quiet time at the beach

“Create a place in your home…at your work…in your heart…where you can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.” -- Linus Mundy, Slow-down Therapy

We certainly cannot be reminded too much about the importance of slowing down in this hectic world of ours with its go here, go there, do this, do that mentality. Many experts in stress will tell us if we want to improve our lives,

we need to turn the “noise” down in our heads on a regular basis. It’s the best place to begin a more peaceful life.

In decades past, no one needed to tap us on the shoulder and tell us to sit down and catch our breath. True, the world was a busy place, especially for women who were largely responsible for keeping a home running smoothly all the while feeding, clothing, and bathing five, eight, or even ten children! How they did this is a mystery to us.

Children had regular (and early) bedtimes, the house was finally quiet, and moms then had a chance to catch up with their own thoughts for a change. It was a time to reflect, read, and ruminate. And no one had to force this issue. Of course, two or three generations ago there were no computers, tablets, cell phones, or smart TVs. The world was a quieter place without the noise of Xboxes, Nintendo, or an internet search for the best PC games.

Seven Ideas to Work With

Travel to our extreme world now in 2020. We can all probably agree there are so many ways to rearrange our single-again lives and enjoy the benefits of slowing down. The question is how. Do we have kids to take care of? Yes, some do. Do we have jobs to go to? Yes, some do. This isn’t a fairy-tale story of Cinderella and we are not saying it isn’t hard to be single again. Quite the contrary.

So how do we slow down, survive, and better yet, thrive well as superwomen? First, we must stop pretending our lives are the same as before divorce, death of a spouse, or the harsh reality of struggling as a single mom. They aren’t and that’s a good thing or will be eventually after a necessary period of grief and readjustment we all go through. Really, we promise. Secondly, the time comes when we suddenly realize we have the freedom to organize our lives exactly as we wish. There is no person we have to check-in with or get permission from.

“Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set. They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.” -- Linus Mundy, Slow-down Therapy

To get more specific on the How portion of this real-life story, we offer seven ideas, suggestions, and questions to work with even though we know each one of us have a unique life unlike any other. Think about these and add or subtract wherever appropriate.

1. What is the one thing that needs changing immediately? Work on answers.
2. Stress is a killer. Find one peaceful moment each day to recharge.
3. We can ask a friend, family, or neighbor for help and support.
4. What hobby or career have we always wanted to begin?
5. Experiment with “fasting” from TV, Facebook, or Twitter for several days.
6. Stay healthy. For energy start walking around the block or at the gym.
7. Join a women’s Bible study group during the week.         

Who Created All This Beauty?

Here’s a thought: why did God spend time to create our beautiful physical world? Was He required to make 7,500 varieties of apples in the world? Or 4 million different species of flowers? No, He wasn't. As we see it, He simply delighted in variety, detail, and beauty. And how about people? Oh, my! How He loves each one of us no matter where we are or what we are doing to love the life He gave us. Let’s not waste it and then wonder where all our days went.

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. …So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can” (Ecclesiastes 3:11a-12 NLT).

What Does Freedom Actually Mean?

Two hundred and forty-two years ago this week the United States claimed its independence from England. It was no simple or easy idea that sparked the desire to live separate and unconnected from a country who had already been in existence for over 400 years. It was surely a glorious day after much struggle, effort, and determination. A day we now celebrate with fireworks, backyard Barbeques, and summer travel.

Which brings up a question. How much of this country have you seen in your lifetime? There are some pretty amazing discoveries right on our own soil and we have the freedom to do that now as single-again women. Who says we have to sit home and get stuck in our own restraints? We may have had a mental Bucket List for years swimming around in our heads. So let’s start planning!   

For example, the U. S. Congress reports that the Four Corners Monument is the only place in the U.S. where you can stand in four states at the same time! It is the spot where a surveyor from the 1800s marked the meeting of Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona. Talk about killing two--or in this case four--birds with one stone!

And if you really want to enjoy a clear day, swallow your fear of heights and climb up 102 stories (above the muck of pollution) to the top of the Empire State Building in New York City. There you can actually see the states of New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania all at once. Amazing. We have much to celebrate about this beautiful and FREE country--don’t miss it.

Pride and Prejudice

Some people get the wrong idea about freedom, though. It can be seen as being able to do anything we want without constraint, without any rules or laws. No one holding us down. We become the “ruler” over our own lives. With that kind of viewpoint, we can get ourselves into trouble we never expected or wanted.

Looking back, we can see that after our divorce--and maybe even during the horrible ordeal--we perhaps acted giddy and foolish with all the “freedom” we had acquired. Thinking we had no one to answer to, we streaked head first like some "super girl" at the finish line. There are things that we probably regret now that we have come to our senses once again. We are not alone in this realization by any means.

There is no denying we are smart and powerful women. We all have what it takes to get where we want to go. We know this because of what we have already gone through just to get here. Here. Now. The Present. It’s real. We know how to achieve “freedom” and still be sensible and safe. What we work on now is how to activate and incorporate all of our ideas, wishes, dreams, and goals.

Mercy Triumphs

Since the beginning of time, there have been commandments, laws, and rulings. These were not established to constrain us like citizens of a dictatorship. Oh, no! This was God's way to protect us and give us real freedom to love Him and to love our neighbor as ourself. Period. That simple. He shows us mercy and gives us the understanding to achieve the abundant life we so want. It’s His way. His character. He is our Good, Good Father, unlike any father we have ever known. Celebrate that freedom today!

“So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you" (James 2:12-13 NLT).

Freedom is Not Free!

Today we pause for a special message for all who sacrificed for us.  

We owe our sincere Thank You to all the men and women of every single war who fought and sacrificed their lives in one way or another for our freedom! Some of us remember firsthand the stories that have been told because we personally know friends and family members who have our deepest gratitude.

"There are approximately only 558,000 veterans remaining of the 16 million who served our nation in World War II. [Veteran's Administration]. The oldest living WWII veteran today is 112 years old!"

"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug. 5, 1964-May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Administration]

"2.7 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001, and over half of them have deployed more than once. Many times that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved ones’ absence, mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns." [Watson-Brown University]

These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 242 years on our own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].

Taking Our Heads Out of the Sand

Please understand, no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we wouldn't be enjoying American freedom if it were not for our military. And military spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to "hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. Never knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else. Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military. Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They deserve the respect and honor!

Living in the military sometimes takes its toll on women with devastating results. "The divorce rate among both officer and enlisted men and women over 2014 was 3.1 percent, only slightly higher than the 2005 rate of 3 percent. The newly released statistics show that the rate has steadily declined since 2011 when it reached a high water mark of 3.7 percent." [The Pentagon, U.S. Dept of Defense]

Where is the Good News?

A Time for Peace

"In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War had not been fought, how much longer would African-Americans have had to suffer as slaves?

"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our military, praying for a quick resolution to conflicts, and praying for a minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides."

For a further study, click on this Link from GotQs.com:

WHY WAR?

“For everything there is a season. . . A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8 NLT).

Your Tool Box For a New Life

Nothing shouts of more hope than gaining freedom. It is a precious gift! Countries are birthed with it after many painful struggles. Ideas are released with it as our eyes are opened and we see a new vision. And lives begin a new journey with exciting plans for the future.

Wherever we are beginning this New Year, we can celebrate our freedom from whatever was holding us back. With a little effort and determination, we will move forward and find ways to experience joy in the small, and not so small, things. Even if we have not had that first cup of coffee or tea!   

Trampling Through the Briar Path

This joy may be easier for some women to attain; they have trampled through the briar path for a while and are now anxiously looking forward to escaping the "thorns." Others may be asking how this could even be possible after all the heartache and turmoil of the past year. It's definitely blinding to turn from the thickness of dark and see bright light; to scratch our way to the surface and remain intact.

Acknowledging we are not that person any more, but new women with new lives will help to get us started. It's up to us now to create something better, something hopeful. We really are stronger than we think. We've made it this far, haven't we? That didn't happen by accident.

There are some tools to make our struggle to create a better life easier. Our willingness to try is all it takes. Sure, we will make mistakes along the way and we will learn. No one is asking us to be perfect!

The Tool Box for a New Life  

• Build a support team. Share struggles with those we trust to be there. 
• Ask for help. We can't always do everything by ourselves. 
• First things first. Organize and get rid of what we don't need from the past. 
• Make plans. Find a place to live and work that will truly make us happy.
• Dream. There are goals we've always wanted to accomplish. Now is the time!

Our very best lives are found when we welcome God into our lives. Because He loves each and every one of us for who we are right now, He offers complete and forever freedom when we ask Jesus to become our Lord and Savior.

Now, let's grab hold of that promise and be determined to start a new journey!

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Cor 5:17