Moving on to a Happier Place

Thankfully, our days are created in twenty-four-hour segments. If they were any longer, we may not be able to handle all of it. Of course, we wish we had more hours in the day to get all the things on our To-Do lists done. But that is much like driving on one of those round-about traffic circles and not being able to get off.

Circles can be scary. Think of all those carnival rides that spin so fast our heads feel like exploding. Circular saws are dangerous enough to cut a finger off. And Merry-Go-Rounds on playgrounds can cause injuries. Where are the beginning and the end? That is how our days go when we do nothing but worry about the next thing we need to do, or what will happen if we don’t get somewhere, or what is happening with our children when really, they are just fine.

It seems there are thousands of things we constantly worry about without stopping. The trouble with that kind of thinking is the worries just pile up one upon the other from each day. Today we are still worrying about all the things we didn’t solve yesterday. Add that to today’s problems, plus start stressing over tomorrow’s fears, and “bingo” we have a major breakdown in the making.

Getting in the Right Lane

The good news is we always have a choice! We can choose a different way to handle our daily anxieties and stop our nagging minds from calling out for attention. It’s a habit we’ve created, or grown up with, that finally causes us enough pain that we want to do something about it.

Just as in solving any personal problem, it takes courage to change our lives for the better. We’ve already seen that take place in our lives when we moved on from one bad situation to a happier place. And there were plenty of worries one after another to handle, many times on our own. But we did it--we are here and thriving!

Our new lives can continue to improve if, with determination, we choose to find an answer to the worry that plagues us. It’s simply annoying and, instead of helping us to get things done as we might think, worry distracts us from accomplishing what we intend to do in the first place.

We are not saying that there will never be anything in our lives to care about again. Of course, there will be. But there is a difference between worry--which solves nothing and keeps us on that never-ending round-about--and concern, which involves us in the solution of a problem, either our own or another’s. Concern causes us to be troubled enough to get up and do something. And even to help someone find their own answer.

Slow It Down

So, how do we begin to change the pattern? First, we have to understand many of the worries we have are (wo)man-made. We load our days with way too many things to do. We get in a rush and cause accidents. We chase after more money and more things to keep up with the neighbors. We get in the way of the lives of others. Consider these:

• Prioritize our To-Do lists A (most important) to C (least important/backburner).
• Plan appointments allowing enough time for each. Don’t pile them up like blocks. It’s okay to say “No” when necessary.
• Simplify our homes, finances, and wants (which are different than needs).
• Listen and support those we care about but allow them to handle their own problems.

Final Step

We have the perfect cure for all our worries and that is God Himself. He already has a plan for our lives, and He waits for us to stop stressing and trust Him, so He can send us blessings. Every single problem we face, He has the solution for us in the Bible. All we really need to be concerned about is our souls, rather than the cares of the world.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34 NLT).

 

How to Dig Our Way Out of the Jungle

 Many of us in this season of staying indoors and disinfecting everything have discovered how we all eventually reach a point in our homes when we cannot ignore the numerous piles of junk any longer. We even have the typical “junk drawer” where every bit and piece of our belongings end up in that one spot.

Stacks of magazines we keep for years thinking that after the first reading we will go back someday and re-read them. We justify that kind of hoarding as “reference material” and it makes us feel better than if we called it trash. Before this pandemic, many of us gravitated to weekend garage sales (yep, I’m raising my hand too) and purchased another person’s junk they no longer wanted. Some of it was especially useful but, occasionally we bought items just because they looked like something we might be able to use. Then we threw them into a box in the garage, forgot about them, and they ended up in our own garage sale the following year. Oh, my!

The summer organization bug is in full swing especially now. We start thinking of what we can do to clear out all the rubbish. If we never, ever discard anything--fearing we will need it someday--we could become a candidate for one of those TV hoarding shows. It’s like trying to dig our way out of a jungle that is about to devour us.

Finding Our True Happiness

Those are all lifeless objects that we think we need, so we keep them. It appears our hoarding gives us a sense of security, which of course, is false. But the same thing goes on in our brains, emotions, and spirits. We get bogged down worrying about every little thing, most of which we can do nothing about.

Money, or the lack of it causes much stress as most of us know. But don’t get caught believing money provides happiness. It does not! How many famously rich millionaires do we know that are truly happy? It might appear that way at first, but an excess of money generally brings an excess of responsibility, which equals excess stress. Think of all those lottery stories of winners one year after their big win. Many of them are worse off than if they had never gambled because they cannot keep up with all their new possessions. Believe it or not, many people fall into bankruptcy when the money is all gone!

Of course, money is not the only worry in life. We can get overwhelmed by relationships that have gone wrong, working at a job we hate, trying to survive after divorce, dealing with child custody, health issues, finding supportive friends, car repairs, anxiety, dieting, disappointment, and doubt. And on, and on, and on.

This is exactly why God commands us [Matthew 6:25-28] not to worry! This is not a suggestion. He is serious about this subject. Why? Because worries are endless; they consume us. Only God knows our anguish when worry devours us. He never wants us in that state of unhappiness and mental chaos. And better yet, He has the answers to our dilemmas. God is just waiting for us to come to Him with our concerns.

Life-Long Learning

If we find ourselves completely worry-free (really?), the opposite problem may become our enemy. Pleasure. Too much of the wrong kind can steer us into a state of denial. We find ourselves hanging with an unsuitable crowd. Doing what we never thought we would. Ignoring our standards and principles. Filling every minute of the day and night pursuing bodily enjoyment, earthly treasures, and worshiping ourselves.

Please don’t get the incorrect idea here. God wants us to be happy and content. He is all about us finding our joy--joy and love in friendships and close relationships. Discovering His plan and purpose for our lives can be the absolute best kind of pleasure; a fulfillment of everything we hope for. Living in God’s world, where He is ready and able to handle our worries and concerns, will provide us a way to grow stronger and stronger every day. Now, that’s a thing of beauty!

“This is what the story means: The seed is God’s message. The seed that fell among the thorny weeds is like those who hear God’s teaching, but they let the worries, riches, and pleasures of this life keep them from growing and producing good fruit” (Luke 8:11, 14 NCV).

 

 

Trading the Lie for the Truth

Garage sale fun!

There are a couple interesting shows on TV about how we all eventually reach a point in our homes when we cannot ignore the numerous piles of junk any longer. We even have the typical “junk drawer” where every bit and piece of our belongings end up in that one spot.

Stacks of magazines we keep for years nearly bury us. We think after the first reading we will go back someday and re-read them. That kind of hoarding is labeled as “reference material” and it makes us feel better than if we call it trash. Now that several restrictions are slowly being lifted following the Covid-19 attack, many of us are looking forward to one day soon when we can get back to enjoying weekend garage sales (yep, I am raising my hand too). We will gladly purchase another person’s junk they no longer want. Some of it is especially useful but, occasionally we buy items just because they look like something we might be able to use. Then we throw them into a box in the garage, forget about them, and they end up in our own garage sale the following year. Oh, my!

The summer organization bug is arriving like a parade of ants! We start thinking of what we can do to clear out all the rubbish. If we never, ever discard anything--fearing we will need it someday--we could become a candidate for one of those TV hoarding shows. It’s like trying to dig our way out of a thick jungle.

Stress-Free Answers

Those are all lifeless objects that we think we need, so we keep them. It appears all this accumulating gives us a sense of security, which of course, is false. But the same thing goes on in our brains, emotions, and spirits. We get bogged down worrying about every little thing, most of which we can do nothing about.

Money, or the lack of it, causes us much stress as most of us know. Don’t get caught believing the lie that money provides happiness. It does not! How many famously rich millionaires (or billionaires) have we heard about that are truly happy? It might appear that way at first, but an excess of money generally brings an excess of responsibility, which equals excess stress. Think of all those lottery stories of winners one year after their big win. Many of them are worse off than if they had never gambled because they cannot keep up with all their new possessions. Believe it or not, many people fall into bankruptcy when the lottery money is all gone!

A roof over our heads

Certainly, we do need enough money to feed our families and keep a roof over our heads which are huge fears right now but frantically seeking a surplus of money is not our only concern. We also deal with relationships that have gone wrong, finding a job after our Covid-19 layoff, trying to survive after divorce, dealing with child custody, health issues, finding supportive friends, car repairs, anxiety, dieting, disappointment, and doubt. And on, and on, and on.

This is exactly why God commands us not to worry! [Matthew 6:25-28]. Notice, it’s not a suggestion. He is serious about this subject. Why? Because the truth is worries are endless; they consume us. Only God knows our anguish when worry devours us. He never wants us to live in that state of unhappiness and mental chaos. And better yet, God has the answers to our dilemmas. He is just waiting for us to share our concerns with Him because He is the only One who can do something about them.  

The Best Combination: Joy and Love

If we find ourselves completely worry-free (really?), the opposite problem may become our enemy. Pleasure. Collecting or “hoarding” too much of the wrong thing can steer us into a state of denial. We find ourselves hanging with an unsuitable crowd. Doing what we never thought we would. Ignoring our standards and principles. Filling every minute of the day and night with inappropriate bodily entertainment, earthly treasures, and worshiping ourselves.

Please do not get the wrong idea here. God wants us to be happy and content. He is all about us finding our joy. Joy and love in our families, friendships, and close relationships. Discovering His plan and purpose for our lives can be the absolute best kind of pleasure; a fulfillment of everything we hope for. Living in God’s world, where He is ready and able to handle our worries and concerns, will provide us a way to grow stronger and stronger every day. Now, that is a thing of beauty!

“This is what the story means: The seed is God’s message. . . .The seed that fell among the thorny weeds is like those who hear God’s teaching, but they let the worries, riches, and pleasures of this life keep them from growing and producing good fruit” (Luke 8:11, 14 NCV).

Is Worry Ruining Your Life?

New Season. New Start. Ready. Set. Go...The Fresh Start Momentum blog that you are reading right now is changing just a bit starting today (no we are not going away, so let your friends know about it). Through experience, we have learned Mondays are your most favorite and popular day to start your week off right. So, that is what we will do: give you the best articles we can manage once a week and allow you to "digest" the content the rest of the week. We appreciate your participation!

The Big What If 
Sending our young ones off to school or even our young adults off to college is a nerve-racking experience, especially for moms. It’s a tense moment to realize they are at the age where they can walk out the door without us on their heels and without us making most of their decisions for them. We can barely wait until they return home.

The day has finally arrived where we must put our trust in our children to do what they have been taught. But this doesn’t make it any easier for us. We quickly turn to worry about all sorts of things that might happen to them. It’s the big What if? It gets us every time! What if. . .they lose their lunch money? What if. . .they get lost and don’t know where to go? What if. . .their primary college class is canceled? What if. . they get the worst roommate? What if. . .someone hurts them outside of class? Sometimes, it goes on and on until we see them again.

Two Sides of the Coin

However, there is a distinct difference between worry and concern. Whether it is children, our job, finances, or finding a new home, worry produces no immediate answers. It only causes us to think non-stop about all the problems and fears we can imagine. Our mind is so busy with this task, we can not get anything else done. Worry provides no viable solution and it feels like we are being choked.

On the other hand, concern uses our feelings of being interested in and caring about someone or something, so we can actively find a way to be helpful--rather than smothering--in our relationships. So we can work out the problem and come up with a plan that moves us forward. Concern moves us to place our trust in that other person believing they can now handle their own lives.

In a nutshell, worry is inactive and unable to change anything, except to damage our health. Whereas concern participates in bringing about solutions and is busy finding the most appropriate ways for us to show our love or to handle the most complicated matters. It’s two sides of the same coin.

Ripples in Motion

How might we practice or train ourselves to use concern, rather than worry, in any situation? Just know, we understand it’s not easy to break unpleasant habits like worrying, but just like with any “addiction,” once we conquer the “enemy,” we win the “war!” We could start with one of the following ideas and practice it until it becomes natural. Then move on to the next (no particular order). The ripple effect will be amazing! You also may have some great ways of your own to add to the list:

Involvement. Think about joining a mom’s or women’s group. They are great for talking things out with others in the same situation.

Engage. Now that the house is quiet, find a new job or register for a community college class in an area that piques your interest. Get excited!

Ask. If there is a complicated problem, there is no shame in asking someone who knows for assistance. Be brave! There is always a handy person, teacher, neighbor, or family member willing to pitch in and help.

Inquire. Find out the procedure ahead of time if your child gets sick at school, needs tutoring, or can’t find their way. Have a plan.

Trust. This is the difficult one but will benefit not only you but also anyone else involved. Once we have done everything we can, it’s time to let go. This creates positive feedback and encourages responsibility.

Getting Smarter

We have all been given exactly what we need to make life work. It’s just that we often never use our own abilities and numerous gifts God has given us. Maybe we don’t have enough trust in ourselves or are too shy to try something different. God never wants us to worry. In fact, He insists on it knowing how destructive worry can become.

Instead, He has provided His own solutions to our problems. He encourages us to practice going to Him first in prayer. Each day will be less stressful if we “check in” with God and ask for His help for the upcoming day whatever it might include. We pray for not only ourselves, but our children, family, friends, neighbors, city, state, nation, and the world in general. Then, His answers come through to us as we read His answer in the Bible. It’s God's best way of communicating with us. And it works!

“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27 NLT.

The Cure for Worry

Thankfully our days are created in twenty-four hour segments. If they were any longer, we may not be able to handle all of it. Of course, at times, we wish we had more hours in the day to get all the things on our To-Do lists done. But that is much like driving on one of those round-about traffic circles and not being able to get off.

Circles can be scary. Think of all those carnival rides that spin so fast our heads feel like exploding. Circular saws are dangerous enough to cut a finger off. And Merry-Go-Rounds on playgrounds can cause injuries. Where is the beginning and the end? That is how our days go when we do nothing but worry about the next thing we need to do, or what will happen if we don’t get somewhere, or what is happening with our children when really they are just fine.

There are thousands of things we constantly worry about without stopping. The trouble with that kind of thinking is the worries just pile up one upon the other from each day. Today we are still worrying about all the things we didn’t solve from yesterday. Add that to today’s problems, plus start stressing over tomorrow’s fears and “bingo” we have a major breakdown in the making.

Getting in the Right Lane

The good news is we always have a choice! We can choose a different way to handle our daily anxieties and stop our nagging mind from calling out for attention. It’s a habit we’ve created, or grown up with, that finally causes us enough pain that we want to do something about it.

Just as in solving any personal problem, it takes courage to change our lives for the better. We’ve already seen that take place in our lives when we moved on from one bad situation to a happier place. And there were plenty of worries one after another to handle, many times on our own. But we did it--we are here and thriving!

Our new lives can continue to improve if, with determination, we choose to find an answer to the worry that plagues us. It’s simply annoying and, instead of helping us to get things done as we might think, worry distracts us from accomplishing what we intend to do in the first place.

We are not saying that there will never be anything in our lives to care about again. Of course, there will be. But there is a difference between worry--which solves nothing and keeps us on that never-ending round-about--and concern, which involves us in the solution of a problem, either our own or another’s. Concern causes us to be troubled enough to get up and do something. And even to help someone find their own answer.

Slow It Down

So, how do we begin to change the pattern? First, we have to understand many of the worries we have are (wo)man-made. We load our days with way too many things to do. We get in a rush and cause accidents. We chase after more money and more things to keep up with the neighbors. We get in the way of the lives of others. Consider these:       

• Prioritize your To-Do list A (most important) to C (least important/back burner).
• Plan appointments allowing enough time for each. Don’t pile them up like blocks. It’s OK to say No when necessary.
• Simplify your home, finances, and wants (which are different than needs).
• Listen and support those you care about, but allow them to handle their own problems.

Final Step

We have one perfect cure for all our worries and that is God Himself. He already has a plan for our lives and He waits for us to stop stressing and trust Him, so He can send us blessings. Every single problem we face, He has the solution for us in the Bible. All we really need to be concerned about is our souls, rather than the cares of the world.

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.  Matthew 6:34 (NLT)