How to Draw Strength and Inspiration

Many people wish to belong to something important where they can make a difference. Some of us join clubs of all kinds. There are groups for moms, book lovers, students, writers, artists, and for cooking, sewing, and working out just to name a few possibilities. Joining one of these sisterhoods helps to encourage and educate us.

Sometimes we have ideas that don’t seem to work out no matter what we do. We need the assistance of others to see how they do things we’ve never thought of as a solution. We learn as our hearts are warmed by their friendliness. Suddenly, the project we’ve been working on becomes much easier. And we breathe.

The fact is: we were never meant to do things all alone especially now that we are single again. What would be the point? If we want to share some new ideas, who would we share them with? What if we want to help in our neighborhood? How would we do it alone? We simply cannot get trapped in our own little world.  

We may not be mountain climbers like Aron Ralston but in the movie of his true-life story, 127 Hours, we witness how a huge boulder traps him in a canyon in Utah. All alone, he had no way to call for help. For five agonizing days, he drew “strength and inspiration from his family and friends.” Without them, he probably would still be pleading with the rocks!

Surprising Insight

Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking out loud to, well, nothing in particular? Of course, we don’t expect an answer (hopefully not), but, strangely, it seems to help every now and then even though the sound of our own voice in the silence may startle us.

Where we really need to hear an answer is when we are hurting, in trouble, feeling defeated, or we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other than our own. A friend who has been through all the mess life can dish out may have surprising insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are dealing with oh! so many dilemmas. And, in turn, we can be hers.

Without friends to share the good and the not-so-good in our lives, we leave ourselves open to the worst thinking patterns. How many times have we blown things out of proportion when left alone? What someone said to us yesterday in good faith today becomes an attack. We see two friends heading out the door together and immediately wonder why they didn’t invite us if they were going to the movies when really one friend was simply supporting the other to a doctor's appointment.  

We remember how very bad our lives have gone in years past and wrongly imagine how they will never get any better. We begin to see ourselves in the darkness without any hope. This kind of gloomy thinking can catapult us right into depression in its many forms.

How to Solve Many of Our Problems

If we are shy or an introvert, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if we are the social type, moving to a new town or a new job can make us feel reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways to join in with others.

• Exercise/walk/jog in the same place every day. Others will eventually make contact and it will give our smile a workout too.
• Find a church home nearby and shake hands with the door greeter.
• Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group with similar interests.
• Attend lectures, book signings, poetry groups. A different version of the one above.
• Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone.

Let’s keep adding to this list and soon our pet will wonder why her food bowl is empty all the time!

Discover What Works Best

The One who created us never intended for us to be alone. The first person on this earth was Adam but God knew Adam needed a companion and so He created Eve. Now, even if we have decided not to date yet, it would be to our advantage to meet new friends while at the same time, we stay in touch with some of our old friends. Eventually, we will learn what works best for our new lives and start growing one friendship after another. God knows and loves us like no other could. His “door” is always open when we want to talk. Try it!   

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).

 

 

 

 

 

How Do We Get What We Want Now?

“However, if I were to let my life be taken over by what is urgent, I might very well never get around to what is essential. It's so easy to spend your whole time being preoccupied with urgent matters and never starting to live, really live.” (Henri J.M. Nouwen, Dutch Catholic Priest, and Professor at University of Notre Dame, Yale and Harvard Divinity schools)  

In our ultra-busy, keyboard world, how do we find enough hours to get anything done? Do we make time for what is important? Seems our ringtones and touch sounds would successfully remind us what to do and when since they are so “smart.” 

That Was Then, This is Now 

Many of us grew up under a firm hand that required perfection. Things had to be done exactly right at the exact time. This taught us to expect the world, our world, to never fall under a human mistake of any kind. We may have even lived with a spouse that expected the same thing in his wife. It created a lot of guilt and turned us into stressed-out women. 

Our lives may still feel like a whirlwind, but feelings cannot really be trusted. They change from moment to moment. What is true is that we are smart women and that does not change! We have been through enough to know what we want now. We may not know quite how to get it just yet, but we have ideas running around in our heads.

First, let us sit down and start a notebook. We can get those what-do-I-do-now thoughts out of our heads and onto paper. They will become real goals and the strain and pressure will stop giving us headaches. Get some colorful dividers for different categories important to us. Suggestions: Dreams, Designs, and Drawings. Plans, Patterns, and Projects. Keep going. Have fun with it! 

If we are naturally visual people, why not cut out photos from magazines that represent our goals and paste them into our notebooks? On the other hand, if we are more comfortable with being a tactile person, try painting and create mixed-media pages. By the way, if there are still children at home, show them they can start their own Dream Notebook. This will help them get excited about life too and they will be way ahead of the game of life!    

Meet the Creator of Dreams

God did not mean for us to be so weary and worried all the time. He has plans for us and a lot to say about our needs (hint: being discontent with life is not one of them). 

Making ourselves frantic if the pillowcases never got white enough in the laundry will rob us of our joy. This is why it is so important to get in touch with God daily. First thing in the morning while the coffee, tea, or hot chocolate is brewing is the perfect time to ask what plans He has for each of us today. He has a perfect answer and is delighted with the kind of women we are! 

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31 NLT).

 

Standing For the Answer

This week in America we are reminded of what it means to be an American. Tomorrow, September 11th is Patriot Day. The time when we stop for at least a bit of time to remember those who died or were injured on our own soil during the terrorist attacks in 2001. Later this month on Friday, September 21st, we do the same thing for National POW/MIA Recognition Day.

It’s never a time to celebrate, of course. However, these are days when we can fly our flag with its red and white stripes and 50 stars against a blue background with pride. Why is it important to observe these days? It’s knowing we still stand to support our country no matter what we have gone through in the past. We are America strong! And the men and women who fight for us each day in our military know that better than anyone. We must not ever forget those who died for us or we have no choice but to repeat the past.

Standing Strong in Conflict

In our own lives, we too may have to fight personal battles to survive. We have already been through the worst possible conflict just getting to this point. Every day can be a struggle, especially when we are on our own. It’s a complicated problem to figure out the best way to do things. So many questions yet to find answers for. What do I do next? Should I change jobs or find a job? Which way do I turn? What city do I want to live in? How do I deal with my ex-in-laws where the kids are concerned? Who gets the kids for vacations? And it goes on and on.     

But we don’t have to fight our skirmishes alone. Believe it or not, the CDC reports there are nearly 814,000 divorces currently. That figure actually seems low considering there are 2.1 million marriages. No longer is it a “secret” to be kept in the closet. Regardless, that is plenty enough to find at least a few other women in our same situation.

Join Your Heart With Others

There is simply no need to wrestle by ourselves constantly fighting battles. Just like our military, no one could possibly survive such odds. So the time is now to talk to someone. It could be a close family member or trusted friend that will just listen while we “vent.” It could be a professional counselor, a pastor/minister, or a support group. The idea is not to “do life” with no one on your side.  

Others who have gone through different stages of a break-up will have ideas, suggestions, things we haven’t thought of yet, and important steps for us to take to re-create a better life. If we choose to retreat and hide-out, so that no one recognizes we are fighting a losing battle, our strength will atrophy like muscles that are never exercised. We can also waste time running around in circles trying to find solutions that will work for us. Or not. And aren’t we plain sick and tired of that kind of life?

Needed R&R

Yes, we have faced personal attacks of humiliation, psychological abuse and maybe even physical abuse, as well as abandonment, loss of affection, and destruction of faithfulness. We faced our Enemy! And now we can raise our flag of endurance, strength of character, and determination. But remember, we didn’t do it alone then. God was right by our side, holding our right hand the entire time. And we can’t go forward alone either!

“Are you tired? Worn out?. . .Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” Matthew 11:28-30 MSG.