Five Ways to Find Relaxation, Balance, and Joy

Lemons are a favorite taste among many of us. Think of how often we enjoy things like lemon meringue pie, lemon drop candies, and of course, lemonade, especially in the summer. Cooks use it in all sorts of mouth-watering recipes. And, of course, some people, but not all, like the taste of lemon on fish. If we travel through the very warm states of California, Arizona, and Texas, we will see the numerous crops of nearly all of the citrus fruits, except oranges and grapefruits which are grown mainly in Florida. Right about now, our mouths are probably puckering up just thinking about juicy wonders. 

Seeing Our True Selves

Other than foods, when we consider how we affect others in our everyday conversations and connections, we may make others think about the sour taste of lemons! It is a trait we may wish to change, but sometimes, we do not even recognize we have such a characteristic. An actor once said, “I don’t think of myself like other people see me” and this could very well be true of all of us at certain times.

Mainly, we prefer to see ourselves as sweet and agreeable. Maybe most days we are just like that description. If we grew up with a mother or relative that we adored and sincerely loved, we wanted to be just like her. So, we imitated her gentle disposition and the manner in which she came into contact with friends, family, and strangers alike.

On the other hand, maybe exhibiting kindness, sweetness, and thoughtfulness was not our natural tendency and we had to really practice and work at the behavior. We did not have the adults around us that could demonstrate a good example of such a person. As adulthood approached with all its ups and downs, difficulties, and adversities, it changed us or, at the very least, brought out the worse in us.

The type of job one has trains us to become whatever a particular industry expects. Yes, employers do want employees who demonstrate kindness to customers or clients at all times, but global competition is the main focus in many--if not most--companies. From senior vice presidents and managers to waitresses, cab drivers, and grocery clerks, we all understand what it takes to keep a job.

Where There Is a Way

Unless we find ways to relax, balance work and home life, and strive to enjoy life, our opposing tendencies can get the better of us. We then, unknowingly, take it out on each other. Instead of listening with courtesy, speaking with love, and reaching out with forgiveness to each other, the measurement of our sour and bitter attitude can and will turn others away from us. This is exactly the opposite of what we really need in our lives, as we entirely miss the opportunities to combat loneliness, experience love, grow in faith, and expand hope. Pick one of these five and start there:

1. Find the cause of our discontent: change jobs; get caregiver or babysitting help; speak with a counselor.
2. Escape the house: get out with friends; vary housekeeping schedule with fun activities; take an interesting class.
3. Get a companion: if the house is too quiet, get a roommate; a pet; turn music on every day; or start dating again.
4. No overtime: arrange work duties so that overtime is kept to a minimum; spend quality time with others; skip the laundry and give yourself a facial.
5. Goals: make time now to finally accomplish our life-long passion.

Love is All-Around

Changing long-lived attitudes are certainly not easy. It takes practice day in and day out. The best place we can transform our outlook on life is when we are spending quiet time with God and finding out how much He loves us. Because when we discover and understand His love for us, we can begin to love others too.

It is an everyday starting point, and God will not fail to bring us to a whole new level of peace and joy. The best news is we can communicate with God anyplace, anytime and it costs absolutely nothing other than minutes we carve out for our own well-being. He is waiting and He has the answers!

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy” (Proverbs 14:10 NLT).

 

 

How Will You Make Your Life Count?

There are some who have built up enough courage to attempt the sport of rock climbing. Indoor or outdoor, climbing is a vertical risk (combined with horizontal moves), but it does offer fitness and fun with a heavy dose of adrenaline. Done right, a beginner will seek out instruction and a guide first. And, yes, as in any sport, there is certain equipment to obtain like special climbing shoes, helmets, harnesses, carabiners, ropes, and chalk for a good grip. Oh, and do not forget the crash pads!   

Then there are those of us who would rather keep our limbs intact for a while and stick to ground sports. Whichever method of exercise we could choose, there is always some degree of risk and, therefore, we need to get instruction and then practice, practice, practice. Our bodies cannot stay healthy without some kind of movement. We were made that way to last a lifetime.

Our Choice

Our hearts and minds are also fragile, inner parts to take care of. We have been through enough heartache to become experts at recognizing when we need to take a deep breath, seek out a friend, and just sit down and talk. We owe ourselves that much.

Nowhere does it say we have to go, go, go as if we are on a never-ending treadmill. It is not only okay to slow it down and take a break, but also strongly recommended that we do it for our own sanity. Let us just understand that it takes some time to be able to live on our own successfully. To figure out what to do and when to do it.

Establishing a daily routine will help. One reason why we cannot get out of bed at times is because there is no reason to put our feet on the floor. It’s just simpler to stay under the covers since we have nothing to do, no one else to take care of, no purpose, and no short or long-term goals.

True, making breakfast for one is not necessarily exciting. But it does not have to be that way. Vary the kind of food for each day if that sounds like fun. Once a month or more, try eating out with a friend and sharing coffee and conversation. Whatever it takes so we can look forward to the day will be worth the effort.

Basic “Take Care” Instructions

There are many ways to get our adrenaline going each day. Start with a basic routine and build excitement into it little by little. Do not just sit around and let everyone else have all the fun!

• Soon as the feet hit the floor, drink eight ounces of room temperature water to get organs moving (with lemon, if wanted). Set it out the night before. Remember, ice cold water causes the body to work harder to warm it up to internal body temperature.  
• Try a new soap and jump in the shower to wake up while the coffee/tea is brewing.
• Easy breakfast: protein bar or cheese plus a favorite fruit. Really, it is the most important meal of the day to avoid “crashing” mid-morning.
• Check your calendar, digital day planner, or whatever device is available to keep a schedule of daily activities. This is imperative even if unemployed at the moment.    

Build in the Fun!

• Sign up for Zumba, hiking, biking, or join a swim class to train the body to move.
• Plan a lunch with a friend once a month.
• Add restful activities like cooking, baking, an art class, or book club.
• Balance life by volunteering at a non-profit organization to help someone in need.    

There are so many things to do with ourselves now that we are free to enjoy the good things. Once we learn we are able to create a new and different life, we will not have time to spend an extra minute in bed.

No Fear

There is absolutely no reason to fear anything we want to do. We have a heavenly Father who will guide us and keep us safe. God enjoys seeing us use the gifts He has freely given us. He also gave us the most important gift of spending eternity with Him when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. So, see. . .He has our backs!

“But as for me, I almost lost my footing. My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:2, 23, 26 NLT).

 

The Big Picture from Beginning to End

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. (Oscar Wilde)

Now that we are coming to the end of the 2020 pandemic, many of us can relate to the quote above. So, we should be careful what we wish for, right? We may have hated our previous job and suddenly, it was gone!

Let's face it. No beating around the bush. Once we become single again, most likely we will need to either find an alternative income source or a regular job. Even if we have all the money we need (which may not last for long), sitting around with nothing to do is terribly boring, unproductive, and detrimental to our social life as we all experienced in 2020!

There are actually many benefits to taking a job or starting a whole brand-new career. Try a little exercise and list as many advantages as possible. If we have already been working for a while, maybe we are thinking of changing our job. That is not a bad thing by any means. We have to take pride in our work and if it's time to move on, we'll know it by the dissatisfaction we feel.

5 Perks Why Working Is Good for Us

• Our health and happiness will improve.
• Taking the risk will energize us.
• Gives us reason to become who we really are.
• Creates friendships with those in the same situation.
• Provides ways to find new interests.      

The Wrong Thing at the Right Time

All of this may seem scary at first, but even if we have never worked before outside the home, there are ways to get started with that too. One of the first things to do is to find our strengths. If accounting is not our thing, taking a job as a bookkeeper would be a disaster. If we hate baking, working as a pastry chef would drive us crazy. If sales give us hives, selling cars would be a joke. Get the picture? 

WHAT AM I GOOD AT? [Click Here to find out]

Next, we do not need to be told, education is important. If a degree is already on our shelf, then great--we need to get out the door and hit the pavement! If not, then, obviously, the key is to get educated in a field that is exciting for us. It may mean night school while we work elsewhere to pay the bills, but then what else do we have to do with our time? If we work hard at it, it will happen before we know it. 

Who is Directing Us?

Some of us are planners from way back. Organizing is at the top of our list. Others are definitely not in that camp! We need help for sure. What is really good to know is that we do not need to do this alone. There are support groups, counselors, and friends to call on when we are down in the dumps. 

There is also One who cares about us more than anyone ever could. God knows what we need (not want) the most and what is best for us. He sees the Big Picture from beginning to end. The best we can do is look at our life with blinders on. God is willing to direct our steps until we reach His ideal for our perfect life. Our part is just to ask!

“Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs 16:3 NLT).

 

 

What is Going on in Your World?

Housekeeping is not exactly the first activity we think of when wanting to do something fun. But it has to be done if we want to live in something cleaner than the dirt in our yards, right? 

To start with, changing sheets on a bed should be one of the easier weekly tasks. Yet, it can become a major struggle to get behind a bed surrounded by three walls in a small bedroom, which actually creates a silly anger issue to develop. A scene like this can easily allow us to just “blow up” and overreact at even the littlest things that invade our lives. 

Soak Up the Sunshine in Your Life 

Sometimes, it is our frustration or fear that turns a good day into an anxiety-filled boiling pot. Or maybe we did not get enough sleep the previous night. All of what we have to go through alone is sometimes overwhelming. We have no one to lean on, no one to talk to, and no one who can help us to overcome all of our sticky problems. 

Yet, deep down inside, we know what we need the most. We need love. We need someone to say, "It's okay, let me do it." Wouldn't that be nice? We could take a break and a breath and call a friend for a short chat.  

Maybe we just have to face the fact, the sheets can wait until tomorrow. The dusting can wait until we are calmer. Maybe now is the time to step outside, soak up the sunshine (defeats depression by the way), and find a rainbow God prepared just for us today because He loves us! He created many things like that for our enjoyment. Aren’t Aspen trees just so unique and beautiful?        

Simple Formulas Are Best

Although we may not have a physical touch in our private lives, we can seek appropriate love from others by being involved and helping someone else meet a need. We grow into love like that. Just this weekend, two friends said they are church greeters because they need [post-pandemic] hugs. Love that! 

Getting involved regularly with our church ministries, kids’ schools, hospitals, or the many community organizations that seek volunteers will fill us with more love than we could ever imagine. Simple formula: give love, get love. It really does work! 

“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:14 NLT).

 

 

What Does All This Mean?

Today. Always. We owe our sincere Thank You to all the men and women of every single war who fought and sacrificed their lives in one way or another for our freedom! Some of us remember firsthand the stories that have been told because we personally know friends and family members who have our deepest gratitude.

"There are approximately only 325,574 veterans remaining of the 16 million who served our nation in World War II. [US Dept of Veteran’s Affairs]. The oldest living WWII veteran today is 110 years old!"

"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug. 5, 1964-May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Administration]

"2.77 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001, and over half of them have deployed more than once or twice. Many times, that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved one's absence, mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns." [Watson-Brown University]

These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 245 years on our own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].

Taking Our Heads Out of the Sand

Please understand, no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we would not be enjoying American freedom if it were not for our military. Remember, freedom is not free! Military spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to "hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. Never knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else. Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military. Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They deserve the respect and honor!

Living in the military sometimes takes its toll on women with devastating results. "The divorce rate among both officer and enlisted men and women over 2014 was 3.1 percent, only slightly higher than the 2005 rate of 3 percent. The newly released statistics show that the rate has steadily declined since 2011 when it reached a high-water mark of 3.7 percent." [The Pentagon, U.S. Dept of Defense]

Where is the Good News?

"In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent an even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War had not been fought, how much longer would African-Americans have had to suffer as slaves?

"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our military, praying for a quick resolution to conflicts and praying for a minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides."

For further study, click on this Link from GotQs.com:

WHY WAR?

 “For everything there is a season. . . A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8 NLT).

How Do We Get What We Want Now?

“However, if I were to let my life be taken over by what is urgent, I might very well never get around to what is essential. It's so easy to spend your whole time being preoccupied with urgent matters and never starting to live, really live.” (Henri J.M. Nouwen, Dutch Catholic Priest, and Professor at University of Notre Dame, Yale and Harvard Divinity schools)  

In our ultra-busy, keyboard world, how do we find enough hours to get anything done? Do we make time for what is important? Seems our ringtones and touch sounds would successfully remind us what to do and when since they are so “smart.” 

That Was Then, This is Now 

Many of us grew up under a firm hand that required perfection. Things had to be done exactly right at the exact time. This taught us to expect the world, our world, to never fall under a human mistake of any kind. We may have even lived with a spouse that expected the same thing in his wife. It created a lot of guilt and turned us into stressed-out women. 

Our lives may still feel like a whirlwind, but feelings cannot really be trusted. They change from moment to moment. What is true is that we are smart women and that does not change! We have been through enough to know what we want now. We may not know quite how to get it just yet, but we have ideas running around in our heads.

First, let us sit down and start a notebook. We can get those what-do-I-do-now thoughts out of our heads and onto paper. They will become real goals and the strain and pressure will stop giving us headaches. Get some colorful dividers for different categories important to us. Suggestions: Dreams, Designs, and Drawings. Plans, Patterns, and Projects. Keep going. Have fun with it! 

If we are naturally visual people, why not cut out photos from magazines that represent our goals and paste them into our notebooks? On the other hand, if we are more comfortable with being a tactile person, try painting and create mixed-media pages. By the way, if there are still children at home, show them they can start their own Dream Notebook. This will help them get excited about life too and they will be way ahead of the game of life!    

Meet the Creator of Dreams

God did not mean for us to be so weary and worried all the time. He has plans for us and a lot to say about our needs (hint: being discontent with life is not one of them). 

Making ourselves frantic if the pillowcases never got white enough in the laundry will rob us of our joy. This is why it is so important to get in touch with God daily. First thing in the morning while the coffee, tea, or hot chocolate is brewing is the perfect time to ask what plans He has for each of us today. He has a perfect answer and is delighted with the kind of women we are! 

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31 NLT).

 

Small Steps on the Road to Wholeness

It is a must. We have to take care of ourselves now more than ever. That is if we do not want to see a "hag" in the mirror one morning and scare ourselves half to death. It is especially important if we have children at home yet to take care of. Otherwise, we may find them eating from the family pet's food bowl! 

Here are some of the questions: how do we gain the strength we lost while dealing with a devastating event? How do we re-invent our lives? Being physically exhausted and emotionally fatigued prevents us from living to our fullest capacity. In the long run, it only empties our bank accounts as we seek medical services and try to get well.

Not feeling our absolute best blocks us from doing what we need and want to do to survive. Surely, we have some new and exciting plans now for ourselves. We do not want to repeat what we went through in the past, do we? Of course not. All the dreams we had while still married can now be fulfilled to perfection--no one is holding us back. Yes, world! We can do this.    

Feeling down all the time and not caring if we get back up also keeps us from creating the abundant joy we crave and is available to us. We are not saying all the possible solutions need to be done at once. Being drained requires that we take small and specific, but consistent, steps on the road to recovery. 

The truth is, we can help no one else until we take care of our physical and mental selves. This is not a selfish thing! We need the energy to move forward into tomorrow. We have heard it before--participate in a good nutrition plan, regular exercise, and balance that with some fun thrown in and exciting ways to pamper ourselves and we are on our way to a new adventure. Those are the first building blocks to physical and emotional health. The way in which we do it, or not (anyone hate exercise but love the pampering?) will be different for each one of us and at a different pace. Whatever we feel we can do at the moment is the right step for us. It does not matter what anyone else thinks. Just keep the momentum going!  

How Solid Is Our Home?

Our spiritual well-being is an even more important connection to wholeness. Without this type of support from God, nothing else in our lives will work properly. No worries, though, because He provides the necessary solid rock solutions to grab onto when we feel we will fall. He is always there to catch us! God is the Rock, solid as can be. Remember that a home built on sand will not stand. Eventually, it will sink. We need a solid foundation that will stand the test of time.  

He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:2