Grow Friendships
When an adult friendship reaches a close, our heart goes through various stages of sadness and despair. This may happen if one or the other moves to a different city or state. We almost wish we could pack our bags and follow. Or perhaps it’s a workplace friendship, and one person changes jobs, and we lose contact. Whatever the reason for the door shutting, it wounds our hearts and takes a while to adjust our thinking patterns. Those are friendships that were separated, not by our choice, but by outside events out of our control, such as job promotions, travel, or even a change in marital status.
This week, we are concentrating on the seasons of friendships that once were beneficial, helpful, and enjoyable to both parties, and then they reach a point of simply drifting off in opposite directions. It has happened to all of us at one time or another, and perhaps we did not understand what caused the void.
Commonly, it is the attraction, ideas, and mutual interests that brought us together in the first place, and they have now served their purpose. Eventually, we understand the separation is all good for both parties. We each had something to give, something to teach, and something to share with the other. We helped each other grow into beautiful women, turning the pages of our story until we endured the bittersweet ending--both the sadness of “letting go” and the happiness of knowing another remarkable human being for a season.
Unlike college or neighborhood friends, where we probably made a few lifelong connections through shared experiences, as mature adults we meet and get to know others mainly through hobbies, activities, or employment. We enjoy meeting and working alongside these friends and sharing thoughts, understandings, and viewpoints about a large variety of subjects. Some of these friendships develop into something more for us as each one gets to know the other more fully outside work or organizations. We form a way to grow together and see each other as valuable for who we are. There’s no competition. It’s a reliable, give-and-take relationship built on honesty and trust. These friendships tend to last for many years!
At other times, we understand not all acquaintances were meant for a “permanent bond” type of arrangement, and that’s okay. The glue just doesn’t hold and serves no purpose after a while. We helped each other accomplish a goal or sorted through a dilemma, as in a co-worker or teammate. The Book of Ecclesiastes says, “There is a time for everything, and a season [author emphasis] for every activity under heaven.” Much like an “annual” plant that lasts for one growing season. We can not expect every link with another adult will turn into something more. And that is understandable. We all know sometimes we “click” with another person, and sometimes we do not have much in common. Please don’t misinterpret this. We all need as many friends as possible. We should count our blessings when a new one enters our lives.
The important part is finding those few friends whom we can encourage and support, and they can do the same in return. As we spend more time together, we discover how to create the best possible friendship with another human being. We can set aside our own needs (at least for a moment), and be interested enough to find out how their life is proceeding, how to pray for their struggles and needs, and enjoy recreational time together. The friendship grows stronger and lasts longer, just like a perennial plant.
So, here is a searching question: what do we know about our friends? We may know the “basics” of what they are all about, but we could challenge ourselves further with these often-ignored subjects that will move a conversation along and help us grow closer to create a bond.
Tip of the Day
Unlike college or neighborhood friends, where we probably made a few lifelong connections through shared experiences, as mature adults we meet and get to know others mainly through hobbies, activities, or employment. We enjoy meeting and working alongside these friends and sharing thoughts, understandings, and viewpoints about a large variety of subjects. Some of these friendships develop into something more for us as each one gets to know the other more fully outside work or organizations. We form a way to grow together and see each other as valuable for who we are. There’s no competition. It’s a reliable, give-and-take relationship built on honesty and trust. These friendships tend to last for many years!
At other times, we understand not all acquaintances were meant for a “permanent bond” type of arrangement, and that’s okay. The glue just doesn’t hold and serves no purpose after a while. We helped each other accomplish a goal or sorted through a dilemma, as in a co-worker or teammate. The Book of Ecclesiastes says, “There is a time for everything, and a season [author emphasis] for every activity under heaven.” Much like an “annual” plant that lasts for one growing season. We can not expect every link with another adult will turn into something more. And that is understandable. We all know sometimes we “click” with another person, and sometimes we do not have much in common. Please don’t misinterpret this. We all need as many friends as possible. We should count our blessings when a new one enters our lives.
The important part is finding those few friends whom we can encourage and support, and they can do the same in return. As we spend more time together, we discover how to create the best possible friendship with another human being. We can set aside our own needs (at least for a moment), and be interested enough to find out how their life is proceeding, how to pray for their struggles and needs, and enjoy recreational time together. The friendship grows stronger and lasts longer, just like a perennial plant.
So, here is a searching question: what do we know about our friends? We may know the “basics” of what they are all about, but we could challenge ourselves further with these often-ignored subjects that will move a conversation along and help us grow closer to create a bond.
Tip of the Day
Building friendships may or may not be easy. Some of us may find it quite difficult if we are shy, quiet, or not confident in ourselves. Or we could be that person who never stops talking but dominates every conversation. Wherever we find ourselves on the friendship scale, just know that God made each of us for relationships; to be helpers and encouragers to each other. This is one reason why he created both Adam and Eve. They needed each other. It’s true–we need each other too.
“If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:10 NLT).
“If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:10 NLT).
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