What Happens When We Need Help?

Just a quick scan of the internet will tell us stories of the “Good Samaritan” are alive and well—we just must look for them a little harder. A mother searches for the good person that saved her daughter from drowning out of the kindness of his heart; a stranger pays someone’s fuel bill without asking anything in return; someone helps another avoid a suicide attempt, and a neighbor's cat is rescued. We all wipe away tears when we hear of these heartwarming stories.

However, caring for others may not come naturally. We tend to become preoccupied with our own wants and desires ignoring the needs of those around us. We can even justify to ourselves and friends and family that we each should take care of our own responsibilities and not be bothered by anyone who needs help. This is sometimes the mindset of those who don’t want to become involved even when someone is in danger or in an emergency.

Why Should We?

What happens, then, when we ourselves need help? And, of course, at some point in life (maybe right now), we will, indeed, be in a situation when that occurs. No one can go through life totally alone and expect to never need another to help us out. Recently an article mentioned that we, unfortunately, may only ever know no more than two of our neighbors at any one point in time. And that is just a friendly wave or a one-syllable “Hi.” Knowing the names of people living around us is an additional step. Inviting that neighbor for coffee or dinner is almost unheard of in our world.

What is the point of becoming that person who is willing to drop everything and become a good neighbor/Good Samaritan? Why should we in the first place? If we choose to have compassion for another person, we step out of ourselves and may, then, avoid our own pity party surrounding problems in our lives. Amazingly, we may even arrive at a solution during others’ dilemmas.

Of course, simply helping someone, when we could just walk away, will help us grow in unexpected ways as a human being. Selfishness is a childish trait that is not extremely attractive in an adult. We would never want to admit such a thing or be known as that kind of person. In fact, we may have lived with a person who exhibited this very same personality characteristic and it was difficult and frustrating for us to deal with such a lack of compassion. We are better than that, so consider these personal benefits showered on us when we demonstrate a generous nature.

Nine Blessings of a Good Samaritan:

·                     We naturally become givers in all things

·                     We will prosper and be refreshed in our souls

·                     We are protected against criticism

·                     Wisdom, faith, and knowledge grow

·                     Goodness will be heaped upon us

·                     Our reputations will be remembered

·                     We will have influence and honor

·                     We will “reap what we sow”  

·                     Our world is filled with joy and light, rather than darkness

We are given unique abilities by God and born into a certain time and place whereby, we have what we need to help those put in our path. As humans, we can recognize our own responsibilities and duty when it comes to being that neighbor whom everyone can count on to help. Someone who is always there. Being neighborly can catch on fast, so let’s be the first on our block!

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9 NLT).

 

Where Can We Find Help?

Use caution!

No one in their right minds would ever want to come across or tempt an animal such as a wild tiger. Especially one that is not in a good mood! Of course, we can probably all remember the famous duo, Siegfried & Roy who made a career out of training and handling wild animals and they were very good at it for many years entertaining audiences in Las Vegas. (Roy had a stroke on stage and his white tiger bit him ending Roy’s career. He died recently on May 8, 2020, from Covid-19).

Many of us are animal lovers and some not. Animals can be demanding but they certainly warm our hearts and offer companionship. And they do such funny things! But we admit, there are animals who have a grumpy attitude about them causing us a not-so-happy encounter if we have ever had the unfortunate occasion of being bitten.

Amazingly, grumpiness is a trait that can affect humans too, especially when faced with a life-changing situation such as a divorce or even a death in the family. Just ask, how often have I felt grumpy lately?

Turning Grumpy into Cheerful

It happens. Yes, it does. In fact, it is almost expected in the first days, weeks, and months following a divorce or death in the family. So, let’s not beat ourselves up over it; it’s a normal feeling. Of course, over an extended period, it is not so enjoyable, entertaining, or exhilarating. All that anxiety, worry, and distress can ruin our health.  

Hopefully, that uncomfortable state has passed for now. But in case it is still hanging around like a bad household odor, what might we do to reach a better frame of mind? Some of the following ideas have helped many women to find their “happy” place. Start by remembering this famous quip:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” [Jessie Potter, educator, and counselor at the Woman to Woman Conference, 1981]

[Please note this quote was made popular much later by motivational speaker Tony Robbins].

Finding Our Happy Place

Get out and be happy!

• Read – go to the local library and find dozens of books on attitudes, gratitude, and making progress as a single-again woman. (Of course, Kindle works too). A good starting place because we don’t know what we don’t know!
• Connect – sitting home alone isn’t going to work. Better to open the Contacts on our smartphones or computer and count how many friends (especially single ones) we’ve been missing and make a friendly call today!
•  Talk - there is no shame or harm in speaking with a professional counselor or pastor about how to move past our past which is like an anchor holding us down.
•  Record – start journaling. Really. Instead of feeling angry, grumpy, and down, we can take our thoughts to the pages of our notebook (no one else will see it). Try to make this a daily habit and see what fabulous results we get. It doesn’t need to be lengthy. Nine minutes while drinking our coffee or tea in the morning is great. Now, we can begin our day refreshed!
•  Celebrate – one of the worse things we can do is decline invitations to have fun with people. It gets easier every time we say “Yes.” Just this one thing can cause a positive reaction in your mind and suddenly grumpiness is a thing of the past.

There are millions of things we can do to become the person we’ve always wanted to be. Do we have to change? Sure. Life is stale without change. But we can be in the driver’s seat this time around and create for ourselves a brand-new world just the way we dream of!

Who Is Going to Help Us?

One of the best things about reaching a point in our life we can be proud of is being able to share it with others. Wanting to help other women who are still struggling with bitterness, negative thoughts, and uncomfortable feelings is truly a gift. We’ve been there—we’re experts. We know how it goes and there are lots of options others need to hear about.

Speaking of “help,” none of these suggestions and tips will work without first asking the Lord God to direct our steps. He’s way ahead of us and is just waiting for us to talk to him about our lives and where they are going. He’s got ideas! So, perfect as he is, upon accepting him as Lord of our life, he will gladly give us his Helper called the Holy Spirit. His Spirit will provide guidance, wisdom, and discernment. And how can we go any further without those?

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).

None of Us Want to Be Alone

Alone is a Choice

Many people want to belong to something important where they can make a difference. Some of us join clubs of all kinds. There are groups for moms, book lovers, students, writers, artists, and for cooking, sewing, and working out. Joining one of these sisterhoods helps to encourage and educate us.

Sometimes we have ideas that don’t seem to work out no matter what we do. We need the assistance of others to see how they do things we’ve never thought of as a solution. We learn as our hearts are warmed by their friendliness. Suddenly, the project we’ve been working on becomes much easier. And we breathe.

We were never meant to do things all alone especially now that we are single-again. What would be the point anyways? If we want to share some new ideas, who would we share them with? Want to help in our neighborhood? How would we do it alone? We simply cannot get trapped in our own little world.  

We may not be a mountain climber like Aron Ralston, but in the movie of his true life story, 127 Hours, we witness how a huge boulder traps him in a canyon in Utah. All alone, he had no way to call for help. For five days, he drew “strength and inspiration from his family and friends.” Without them, he probably would still be pleading with the rocks!

Feedback is Important
Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking out loud to, well, nothing in particular? Of course, we don’t expect an answer (hopefully not), but, strangely, it seems to help every now and then even though the sound of our own voice in the silence may startle us.

Where we really need to hear an answer is when we are hurting, in trouble, feeling defeated, or we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other than our own. A friend who has been through all the mess life can dish out may have surprising insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are dealing with oh! so many dilemmas. And, in turn, we can be hers.

Without friends to share the good and the not-so-good in our lives, we leave ourselves open to the worst thinking patterns. How many times have we blown things out of proportion when left alone? What someone said to us yesterday in good faith today becomes an attack. We see two friends heading out the door together and immediately wonder why they didn’t invite us if they were going to the movies when really one friend was simply supporting the other to a doctor's appointment.  

Hope, Help, or Hazard?

We remember how very bad our lives have gone in years past and wrongly imagine how they will never get any better. We begin to see ourselves in the darkness without any hope. This kind of gloomy thinking can catapult us right into depression in its many forms.

Joining Solves Many Problems

If we are shy or an introvert, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if we are the social type, moving to a new town or a new job can make us feel reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways to join in with others.

1. Exercise/walk/jog in the same place every day. Others will eventually make contact and it will give our smile a workout too.
2. Find a church home nearby and shake hands with the door greeter.
3. Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group with similar interests.
4. Attend lectures, book signings, poetry groups. A different version of the one above.
5. Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone.

Let’s keep adding to this list and soon our pet will wonder why her food bowl is empty all the time!

New and Old Make Great Friends

The One who created us never intended for us to be alone. The first person on this earth was Adam but God knew Adam needed a companion and so He created Eve. Now, even if we have decided not to date yet, it would be to our advantage to meet new friends as we also keep in touch with some of our old friends. Eventually, we will learn what works best for our new lives and start growing one friendship after another. God knows and loves us like no other could. His “door” is always open when we want to talk. Try it!   

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).

What Can You Do About Feeling Grumpy?

Another Grumpy Cat 

Today is a sad day for any feline lovers as the famous cat known as “Grumpy Cat” has passed away. She was only seven years old--considered young for a cat—but died of a urinary tract infection according to her owners.

   

“The blue-eyed cat with the withering stare and permafrown that suggested perpetual irritation . . .was not always Grumpy Cat. When she was a kitten, she was named Tardar Sauce. But before she was even a year old, a photo of her concave, grouchy look — the result of an underbite — made her famous, and her new name took hold.” (www.npr.org)

Some of you may be animal lovers and some not, but everyone probably has heard about that famous Grumpy stare! It’s a condition that can affect any human too, especially when faced with a life-changing situation such as a divorce or even a death in the family. Just ask, how often have I felt grumpy lately?

Turning Grumpy into Cheerful

It happens. Yes, it does. In fact, it is almost expected in the first days, weeks, and months after what you have gone through, so don’t beat yourself up over it; it’s a normal feeling. Of course, it is not a feeling that is enjoyable, entertaining, or exhilarating over an extended period. All that anxiety, worry, and distress can ruin your health.  

Hopefully, that uncomfortable state has passed for now. But in case it is still hanging around like a bad household odor, what might you do to reach a better frame of mind? Some of the following ideas have helped many women to find their “happy” place. Start by remembering this famous quip:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” [Jessie Potter, educator, and counselor at the Woman to Woman Conference, 1981]

[Please note this quote was made popular much later by motivational speaker Tony Robbins].

Finding Your Happy Place

·         Read – go to the local library and find dozens of books on attitudes, gratitude, and making progress as a single-again woman. (Of course, Kindle works too). Start here because you don’t know what you don’t know!

Wanna Talk? 

·         Connect – Sitting home alone isn’t going to work. Open your Contacts on your smartphone or computer and count how many friends (especially single ones) you’ve been missing and call them today!

·         Talk - There is no shame or harm in speaking with a professional counselor or pastor about how to move past your past which is like an anchor holding you down.

·         Record – if you aren’t already journaling, please start. Instead of feeling angry, grumpy, and down, take your thoughts to the pages of your notebook (no one else will see it). Try to make this a daily habit and see what fabulous results you get. It doesn’t need to be lengthy. Nine minutes while drinking your coffee or tea is great. Now, you can begin your day refreshed!

·         Celebrate – one of the worse things you can do is decline invitations to have fun with people. It gets easier every time you say “Yes.” Just this one thing can cause a positive reaction in your mind and suddenly grumpiness is a thing of the past.

There are millions of things you can do to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Do you have to change? Sure. Life is stale without change. But you can be in the driver’s seat this time around and create yourself a brand-new world just the way you dream of!

Who Is Going to Help You?

One of the best things about reaching a point in your life you can be proud of is being able to share it with others. Wanting to help other women who are still struggling with bitterness, negative thoughts, and uncomfortable feelings is truly a gift. You’ve been there—you’re an expert. You know how it goes and there are lots of options others need to hear about.

Speaking of “help,” none of these suggestions and tips will work without first asking the Lord God to direct your steps. He’s way ahead of you and is just waiting for you to talk to Him about your life and where it is going. He’s got ideas! So, perfect as He is, upon accepting Him as Lord of your life, He will give you his Helper called the Holy Spirit. His Spirit who is perfect in providing guidance, wisdom, and discernment. And how can you go any further without those?

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).