What Happens When We Need Help?

Just a quick scan of the internet will tell us stories of the “Good Samaritan” are alive and well—we just must look for them a little harder. A mother searches for the good person that saved her daughter from drowning out of the kindness of his heart; a stranger pays someone’s fuel bill without asking anything in return; someone helps another avoid a suicide attempt, and a neighbor's cat is rescued. We all wipe away tears when we hear of these heartwarming stories.

However, caring for others may not come naturally. We tend to become preoccupied with our own wants and desires ignoring the needs of those around us. We can even justify to ourselves and friends and family that we each should take care of our own responsibilities and not be bothered by anyone who needs help. This is sometimes the mindset of those who don’t want to become involved even when someone is in danger or in an emergency.

Why Should We?

What happens, then, when we ourselves need help? And, of course, at some point in life (maybe right now), we will, indeed, be in a situation when that occurs. No one can go through life totally alone and expect to never need another to help us out. Recently an article mentioned that we, unfortunately, may only ever know no more than two of our neighbors at any one point in time. And that is just a friendly wave or a one-syllable “Hi.” Knowing the names of people living around us is an additional step. Inviting that neighbor for coffee or dinner is almost unheard of in our world.

What is the point of becoming that person who is willing to drop everything and become a good neighbor/Good Samaritan? Why should we in the first place? If we choose to have compassion for another person, we step out of ourselves and may, then, avoid our own pity party surrounding problems in our lives. Amazingly, we may even arrive at a solution during others’ dilemmas.

Of course, simply helping someone, when we could just walk away, will help us grow in unexpected ways as a human being. Selfishness is a childish trait that is not extremely attractive in an adult. We would never want to admit such a thing or be known as that kind of person. In fact, we may have lived with a person who exhibited this very same personality characteristic and it was difficult and frustrating for us to deal with such a lack of compassion. We are better than that, so consider these personal benefits showered on us when we demonstrate a generous nature.

Nine Blessings of a Good Samaritan:

·                     We naturally become givers in all things

·                     We will prosper and be refreshed in our souls

·                     We are protected against criticism

·                     Wisdom, faith, and knowledge grow

·                     Goodness will be heaped upon us

·                     Our reputations will be remembered

·                     We will have influence and honor

·                     We will “reap what we sow”  

·                     Our world is filled with joy and light, rather than darkness

We are given unique abilities by God and born into a certain time and place whereby, we have what we need to help those put in our path. As humans, we can recognize our own responsibilities and duty when it comes to being that neighbor whom everyone can count on to help. Someone who is always there. Being neighborly can catch on fast, so let’s be the first on our block!

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9 NLT).

 

How Can We Change What’s Not Working?

Stop and slow down

There are times when life gets going so fast—like a runaway train--that we rarely take the time to turn our heads for a moment and see where we came from and where we are going. Just one common example is the cell phone. According to bankmycell.com, there are now more mobile devices (9.32 billion!) in the world than there are people (7.74 billion). And even more amazing, not every single person owns a cell phone. So, obviously, many people have more than one device. Unbelievable.   

According to one tracker, it’s easy to understand, “You don’t need a home to have one, and you don’t need a network that touches every building. It’s easier to plop a cell phone tower in a neighborhood than plug in every single building.” This makes sense, but cell phones have made us spin faster and faster until we almost get dizzy and fall over.  

Every now and then, though, it’s a good idea to slow down, look back, and do a friendly examination of ourselves. Especially with the mind-blowing situation we just survived. It took every bit of toughness, strength, and resilience we had in our bodies to get right here and right now. If we don’t want to repeat all that, it’s to our own advantage to review every now and then how much we have achieved. We do it in our jobs once a year, so why not in our personal lives too?

Wide-Eyed Wishing

There are two ways to contrast how we are doing--what didn’t work before and what is working after.

  

Many of us were perhaps too young when we rushed down the aisle the first time. We didn’t take our time to get to know the one we said, “I do!” to, nor even to make permanent life-plans that involved both of us. We, most likely, lacked the experience needed to deal with and avoid repeated scenes that caused us damage and destruction. Honestly, we really had no idea what we were doing; it was very much like wide-eyed wishing. Eventually, because of our innocence, we lost ourselves in a pool of nothingness. We lived a “half-life” never developing our own talents and abilities. Thankfully, we eventually gained insight and found the strength to make better decisions.   

The Next Wise Choice

Grow and Gather

Learning from past circumstances, we have been able to choose new goals and habits that uplift our “fully-developed lives.” Our hearts spill over with joy just creating a whole new way to live. Enthusiasm goes a long way. Sure, not every single day goes smoothly, no one said it would. This is real life. It gets hard sometimes for all of us. We are not alone in this truth. The key is how we respond to all the messiness. We each must decide what that looks like for our own lives not for our friend’s life, not for our sister’s, brother’s, or mother’s life, but what positive thing we do when life gets us down. It’s all about making the next wise choice. The confidence we now have (and it will increase every day), can help us survive at least the next 24 hours! Go. Grow. Gather. Repeat.  

Word Reflections

Wiser words have never been spoken than in the first nine chapters of the Book of Proverbs. We use those as a guide to weigh how our lives are going and where we can go next. If we haven’t quite reached the pinnacle where our lives can bloom, studying and meditating on these words of God will make it very clear what the next step is in front of us.  

If we are beginning to find satisfaction with our journey, sustaining true wisdom for the “long haul” can be discovered through these chapters in Proverbs. They will direct us in knowing God better and what He sees for our future. It is His heart for our hearts!

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person” (Proverbs 27:19 NLT).

How to Conquer Seven Destructive Invaders

Best Fall Colors

Roots may start small but, eventually--with loving care, pampering, and feeding--they grow into beautiful plants, flowers, or a tree in our yard. It's a slow process, but watching the progress is quite satisfying and soon we see the lush result of our efforts.

Sometimes, especially for those of us who are not gardeners, the plants start wilting, turn brown and ugly, and never grow into anything beautiful. It's like a poison that invades the entire root and we are not even aware of the cause!

Our Roots Are Growing!

Since we are now on our own as single-again women, we have the fantastic choice of starting a beautiful "garden" with our lives. Yes, we do understand it's extremely difficult to even think about what to do or how to do it at this point. So, we ask ourselves, what if I just don't do anything? What if I just sit here all day long twirling my thumbs? What if I use the time to start blaming others for my problems?

Those certainly are choices too. We can just stop caring for ourselves and allow our "roots" to stop growing. No one is saying we can't do that if we desire. But it will require one thing. It will require that we admit we have given up. If we believe that hopeless thought, then inertia will take control of our lives and nothing good will sprout in us. We are still breathing, but not thriving. Existing, but unable to move. We need nourishment so we can grow!

The point here is that we are stronger than all those moments of disappointments, abuse (physical or emotional), resentments, and pain. We are here, aren't we? Regardless of what we think about what happened to us, we have not given up by any means! We have fought with everything we have in us to get to this point. Our roots are growing, slowly maybe, but growing nonetheless! Congratulations, sister!

Seven Destructive Invaders

Friendly Invader

One simple truth about gardens is they require constant weeding or unpleasant things begin to flourish. Our lives are like that too. After what we have been through, we most certainly will need to clear all the harmful and destructive invaders to free ourselves completely.  

Think about the following "invaders or poisonous weeds." We have all had them spring up into our hearts, sometimes repeatedly. The Bible says we have a spiritual "thief" (enemy) who will destroy us if we don’t pay attention. So, take these seven invaders seriously:

Bitterness

Disappointment

Resentment

Grudges

Jealousy

Conflict/Arguments
Hatred

[Please note: If any of these feelings bother you to the point of destruction, please speak immediately with a counselor.]

God plainly says, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10 NLT). In other words, He is our answer.

A Flourishing and Glorious Garden

There is solid help available both in this world and from God, our Heavenly Father. He provides us a Helper called the Holy Spirit to guide us through all the "destructive invaders" so we can create a flourishing and glorious garden. One beautiful Truth to hang onto is: we will receive many blessings if we seek God instead of listening to the thief/enemy.  

"Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many" (Hebrews 12:15 NLT).

How to Grow and Spread Your Wings

A new pair of shoes

A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said, “My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?” “I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,” was the boy’s reply.

The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with a towel.

By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, “No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now?”

As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered the question with these words: “Are you God’s wife?” (Author unknown. A story as told in mirthandmotivation.com).

Turning Corners

So many times, we tend to ignore what is right before us. Especially now when we have just gone through a devastating period in our lives, our problems seem insurmountable and we see nothing else in our path. Each day is difficult. Each hour is excruciating. Each minute is painful.  

These types of feelings are natural and expected especially when our circumstances are brand new to us and it hasn’t been very long at all since we became single-again women (divorced, widowed, single mom). At this point, don’t let anyone tell you not to feel the sorrow and distress. There is a certain time period where we all go through the stages of grief.

Spread your wings and fly!

Eventually at some point, we will turn a corner and begin to feel better with each passing day as we put one foot in front of the other. This is when our eyes open a little wider and we can lift our heads. We might even surprise ourselves simply by smiling—at ourselves and others too.

Now is the opportunity to figure out what to do with our lives. How to live differently because, obviously, we are different. Unfortunately, many women try and continue to make everything remain exactly as it was; this is usually a very bad idea that holds us back from growing and spreading our wings!           

Hanging Out with Friends

“Life is 10% what happens and 90% of how you react to it.” (Charles Swindoll, pastor, and author).

Just like the “wise” woman in the (likely fictional) story above, we might try and not dwell on ourselves so much that we forget what is happening in the lives of other people. Of course, the story does not indicate if the woman was single or not, but it seems to us that she was at the very least, generous, kind, and unselfish.    

One of the changes we may have already experienced as a single-again woman is that our circle of “friends” seems to have evolved into several new relationships. We find ourselves gravitating towards other women going through the same scenario. That’s a great sign!

Why? Because we are learning how to spread our wings and have become interested in finding out how others have successfully changed their lives for the better. We are “hanging out” with those who can provide insight, intuition, and intelligence about something we know little about.

Arms Wide Open

The greatest insight we can possess is to recognize that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us above and beyond what we can imagine. He is unlike any earthly father we have ever known.

He cares deeply what we have experienced and what happened to us before and after the change in our marital status. He is waiting for us each to turn to Him with all our sorrows, grief, heartache, and pain. His arms are wide open! Run to Him now!                 

“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces” (Prov 13:20 MSG).