Looking Forward to Better Things in 2021

Most vehicles with wheels, or even rails, normally can go forward as well as backward. We've seen trains travel in reverse to either switch tracks or connect with a different car or caboose. But they most certainly do this quickly to go forward which is their main purpose to get to a new destination. 

Obviously, our cars go forward and backward so we can maneuver properly in and out of garages, parking spaces, and so forth. Yet both trains and cars constantly deal with the danger of traveling backward and avoiding an accident. Amazingly, planes have no way to move in reverse! They can only go forward on the ground. And believe it or not, crash statistics show flying is the safest way to travel. Now there is something to remember!

Making the Most of 2021
In four days we will arrive in another New Year and many of us will be anxiously looking forward to this one for sure! Yet, we won’t soon forget about things that have happened to us, some incredibly sad and others completely devastating. True, we usually learn lessons from our yesterdays, but constantly dwelling on every regrettable past event is a danger to our future and like a train traveling backward unable to stop!

We can imagine what would happen if that occurred. Derailment. An alarm should go off in our heads right about now. We simply cannot move forward with our new lives while we are simultaneously going backward. It's so much more exciting to travel ahead and see the sites!

This is our chance. We have a New Year to celebrate and can make plans for a better future. We may even have some vague ideas in the back of our minds that we can activate, but we’re not quite sure how to go about it. Or maybe we haven't found the time yet to think about hopes and dreams. (Careful. Don't look backward!)

With 2021 arriving at the end of this week, it's time to start our new single-again life. Grab a pen and notebook or journal and jot down some thoughts. Here we go:

Clear Thinking. Avoid vagueness. Instead, strive for developed ideas. Write down just one specific sentence or short paragraph that describes what should happen now to get moving. This gets the idea out of our heads and onto paper where we can see it and start planning. 

Something New. If there have been boring jobs in the past that were just not satisfying, list three occupations you’ve dreamed about and that you know you are good at even if it means accepting an entry-level position. Promotions will happen soon enough, and you'll be much happier!

Building Relationships. It may be time for some new friends (while hanging on to some good friends), especially those in the same situation. They are there. You must look for them. This could be at a new job, a friendly neighbor, or supportive Christian friends. 

Whatever you don’t do today, you are less likely to do tomorrow. 

(Win the Day by Mark Batterson, author and lead pastor, National Community Church, Washington D.C.)

 

Face Forward
Looking back into our past keeps God from moving us forward. Repeat that out loud! Write it on the refrigerator. Even before we were born, God made good plans for us. Not plans for disaster (that was a human error). He's just been waiting for us to face forward and listen. With God absolutely nothing is impossible. Therefore, we need Him in our corner, especially now. Just ask Him! 

"May he grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed" (Psalm 20:4 NLT).

How to Keep Our Balance When Life Gets Shaky

Celebrate every day!

We are already six months into the year and are anxious to celebrate our country's 244th birthday, July 4th, 1776--the day when the Declaration of Independence was adopted by Congress and still stands today!  

No, we are not going to have a history lesson here today. We are simply saying that the celebration of America is more than just sparklers and fireworks (although those are lots of fun!). Instead, we want to point out that our lives can be a celebration too--every day. 

Now that we are out on our own and living as single-again women, what could we say is our greatest feeling of all? Would it be the peace we now enjoy? Would it be relief from all the chaos and verbal and physical abuse? How about freedom? All of these and more are a reason to celebrate and fill our hearts with unexplainable joy.

Our Own Independence Day

If our lives don't exactly feel that way (yet), it's okay! We may still be mourning for a life left behind even though that life wasn't what we imagined it should be way back when. Now, think about this: all that freedom we talked about in the above paragraph can be scary and maybe the reason that keeps us from moving forward.   

We have many difficult choices right now so it may seem easier to just turn back and grab for something that is no longer there, which only causes confusion and emptiness. But when we look at our own Independence Day and determine to move through the open doorway, we’ll see the possibilities for our best life on the other side. And our hearts will dance and sing! 

The momentum that escorts us through that door is exciting. It’s like riding a bicycle for the first time in many, many years. We won’t have time to look back but only to view the passing scenery. There are so many things to do, places to go, and plans to make that our days will fly by! We certainly have had ideas running around in our heads for years that we are now free to make happen.

Ready to ride?

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” (Albert Einstein)

This quote is a favorite of this blogger because it displays an attitude of never giving up. If one thing doesn’t work in our lives, we can try another way. If traveling in one direction is frustrating, we can choose a friendlier path. We cannot allow any detours to get in our way because we are determined and know what we want. We just must go after it. Today!

New, Fresh, and Hopeful

Hooray! We are on our way! Planning, experimenting, and seeking wise counsel are all part of this new way to rebuild our lives. We may even want to find other women who are traveling in the same direction. In fact, it is advisable to do so. They may be struggling at the beginning or learning to navigate in the middle or have nearly reached the finish line. So, someone will be able to come alongside us to help no matter where we are on the journey.

The Bible says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT).

If we keep our eyes and ears open and sense something missing while planning our adventure, it may just be a lack of support from others. We shouldn’t feel as if we need to keep our new marital status a secret fearing what others will say. If our attitudes are new, fresh, and hopeful, others can’t help but see improvement in us. And they are the ones we can count on for a friendly face.

"A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song" (Proverbs 15:15 The Msg).

Where Can We Find Help?

Use caution!

No one in their right minds would ever want to come across or tempt an animal such as a wild tiger. Especially one that is not in a good mood! Of course, we can probably all remember the famous duo, Siegfried & Roy who made a career out of training and handling wild animals and they were very good at it for many years entertaining audiences in Las Vegas. (Roy had a stroke on stage and his white tiger bit him ending Roy’s career. He died recently on May 8, 2020, from Covid-19).

Many of us are animal lovers and some not. Animals can be demanding but they certainly warm our hearts and offer companionship. And they do such funny things! But we admit, there are animals who have a grumpy attitude about them causing us a not-so-happy encounter if we have ever had the unfortunate occasion of being bitten.

Amazingly, grumpiness is a trait that can affect humans too, especially when faced with a life-changing situation such as a divorce or even a death in the family. Just ask, how often have I felt grumpy lately?

Turning Grumpy into Cheerful

It happens. Yes, it does. In fact, it is almost expected in the first days, weeks, and months following a divorce or death in the family. So, let’s not beat ourselves up over it; it’s a normal feeling. Of course, over an extended period, it is not so enjoyable, entertaining, or exhilarating. All that anxiety, worry, and distress can ruin our health.  

Hopefully, that uncomfortable state has passed for now. But in case it is still hanging around like a bad household odor, what might we do to reach a better frame of mind? Some of the following ideas have helped many women to find their “happy” place. Start by remembering this famous quip:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” [Jessie Potter, educator, and counselor at the Woman to Woman Conference, 1981]

[Please note this quote was made popular much later by motivational speaker Tony Robbins].

Finding Our Happy Place

Get out and be happy!

• Read – go to the local library and find dozens of books on attitudes, gratitude, and making progress as a single-again woman. (Of course, Kindle works too). A good starting place because we don’t know what we don’t know!
• Connect – sitting home alone isn’t going to work. Better to open the Contacts on our smartphones or computer and count how many friends (especially single ones) we’ve been missing and make a friendly call today!
•  Talk - there is no shame or harm in speaking with a professional counselor or pastor about how to move past our past which is like an anchor holding us down.
•  Record – start journaling. Really. Instead of feeling angry, grumpy, and down, we can take our thoughts to the pages of our notebook (no one else will see it). Try to make this a daily habit and see what fabulous results we get. It doesn’t need to be lengthy. Nine minutes while drinking our coffee or tea in the morning is great. Now, we can begin our day refreshed!
•  Celebrate – one of the worse things we can do is decline invitations to have fun with people. It gets easier every time we say “Yes.” Just this one thing can cause a positive reaction in your mind and suddenly grumpiness is a thing of the past.

There are millions of things we can do to become the person we’ve always wanted to be. Do we have to change? Sure. Life is stale without change. But we can be in the driver’s seat this time around and create for ourselves a brand-new world just the way we dream of!

Who Is Going to Help Us?

One of the best things about reaching a point in our life we can be proud of is being able to share it with others. Wanting to help other women who are still struggling with bitterness, negative thoughts, and uncomfortable feelings is truly a gift. We’ve been there—we’re experts. We know how it goes and there are lots of options others need to hear about.

Speaking of “help,” none of these suggestions and tips will work without first asking the Lord God to direct our steps. He’s way ahead of us and is just waiting for us to talk to him about our lives and where they are going. He’s got ideas! So, perfect as he is, upon accepting him as Lord of our life, he will gladly give us his Helper called the Holy Spirit. His Spirit will provide guidance, wisdom, and discernment. And how can we go any further without those?

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).

Celebrating Our Journey Together!

Enough

Three years ago this week, this blog was launched as a tribute and encouragement to single-again women everywhere. Women who have experienced too much sorrow, hurt, pain, and garbage, too soon in their lives. With this dissolution staring us in the face, Fresh Start Momentum (FSM) moved forward in 2016 believing every woman, regardless of race, color, age, or nationality, is valuable to herself and others, worthy of respect, and extraordinary in all she strives to become. She is honored for her persistence and perseverance. She is priceless. WE are priceless!

A Brand New World

It’s been a wild and exciting ride sharing these posts. Hopefully, they have brought enjoyment while at the same time have been practical and forward-thinking. FSM continues to encourage every woman--whether divorced, widowed, or a single mom--to live a life of confidence and strength, as our journey grows and expands into a brand new world. Striving to invigorate and energize our lives, FSM stands beside each one of us cheering our efforts to build momentum into a brand new Fresh Start because new and better days are ahead for all of us!

Over the last few years, women from all over the world--including Ukraine, Spain, Japan, France, Portugal, Israel, Brazil, Poland, Germany, Russia, the United Kingdom, Pakistan, and the United States among many others--have stopped to read these blog messages. We are part of this "testament" of courageous women anxious to re-invent our lives as we grow through past disaster and devastation. No matter where we live out our lives, FSM is truly thankful for each one of you!   

We must keep reminding ourselves not to give up, but to seek answers, get out of our own way, and stay "plugged in" for the long haul, then we are ready to build, or re-build, a single-again life that brings with it all the peace and joy we could ever imagine. The important lesson of "replacement" teaches how to exchange the lie that we are worthless, with the truth that we can accomplish anything we can dream. The journey begins in our minds which no one can take from us.

The Key of Belonging 

We hope to share knowledge, wisdom, ideas, and tips on living the most powerful and persuasive lives we can with what we have been given. It is never too late to begin. No matter what has happened in the past, going forward with confidence is all that counts.

We are planning for the coming year to continue finding what makes each one of us excited to get out of bed each day. This is our time now and we just can’t waste it and let it go without a thought. As always, FSM is determined not to cultivate an atmosphere of gloom and doom. And we hope you join us in that endeavor in your home. There’s too much of that “disease” going around. We have much more important and fun things to do here.

The Key of Belonging

A “key” to take and put in our pockets right now is the fact, we belong to each other; we are a community of strong women. Sure, we can’t all meet in person, but a place of belonging (even a virtual one) is important to dissolve the no-one-cares-about-me feelings that can get us down. Let's be determined to not let that happen! Realize our lives are different now and in many ways better. This requires a new paradigm or pattern and a fresh way of looking at possibilities that we each can create for ourselves. FSM is here throughout 2019-2020 to inspire us to get the momentum going and keep it going. Achieving this momentum will help us to help others in our shoes. And the wheels spin on and on and on and.......

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

Every woman was shaped by the Creator of the Universe. His love of our individual, inherent worth is beyond imagination. In turn, we are called to influence those around us. We can not affect others positively without first becoming our true selves. God uses all kinds of women, all around the world to accomplish His purpose. He has a plan to bring us fresh hope and a bright future. Who else can promise that? It all starts with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. With Him, and only Him, all things are possible. This is what the Lord says:

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for" (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG).