How Can You Keep Up with Your Hopes and Dreams?

It is certainly not surprising to hear nearly seventy-five percent of American women dye their hair something other than their natural color as compared to just seven percent in 1950 (Clairol 2008 study as reported at Emerita.com, a women’s wellness site). Of course, women in Hollywood tend to lead the trends. We usually expect to see women such as Helen Mirren (age 75) and Blythe Danner (77) display their beautiful locks in their natural state. But even younger ones choose to sport a change like Kate Winslet (46) and Lady Gaga (34). And at 89 years young, Puerto Rican actress Rita Moreno is still gorgeous! 

Let’s face it --as we age, our health, and our looks start turning towards a more natural way of life. It becomes apparent to us that maybe, just maybe, we can avoid much of what we thought was necessary for our younger years such as the latest lipstick color (but still a great way to uplift our spirits!), foundation formula, and hair color. It just does not seem as important as it once was.

This is not to say we should not keep ourselves looking our absolute best. Not only watching our diet and participating in exercise but once we choose to turn a shade of gray, we may need to find other colors to wear in our make-up and clothing. Gray, silver, and white tend to “wash out” skin color. A brighter, color-coded clothes closet with various “happy” hues can help solve this problem. Try it out on the next shopping trip and bring some new colors into the dressing room—a fun experiment!

Finding Joy Every Step of the Way

Someone once said (it’s been attributed to many people), “The older I get, the wiser my parents get!” It’s a funny quote that pops up every now and then but points out the truth of our circumstances. As single-again women, we have been through more than we thought we could ever handle. Maybe one reason for our natural locks turning a beautiful silver, but also a reason we are much stronger today than ever!

The joy of living on our own are the changes that cause us to become an entirely new person. We are older, yes. We are wiser, yes. And unless we have re-married, we no longer must worry about taking care of another person right now. If we want to become an all-around better person, we can choose to concentrate on keeping up with our hopes and dreams that were put on a shelf a long time ago! We then start seeing a woman who welcomes the chance to improve her perspective or attitude about life.

The progress we are looking for involves learning how to form plans for our own happiness while at the same time being careful not to follow just any unproven recipe or a supposed solution someone may offer to us. We are now wiser than we’ve ever been and so we must use our good sense and take everything “with a grain of different.”

It may help to meet with a life coach or counselor to figure out the best direction to go before jumping into things. Experience teaches us that our lives are quite different now and so might our paths, hopes, and dreams. It’s an exciting journey to find out what we can do. Whatever didn’t work in the past, may not work in our present. So, let’s be open to new and wonderful ways of thinking, concepts, and passions. Wow! We are on our way!

A Good Book to Read

We may never have realized that God Himself points us down the correct path for our best life. And it will certainly be different for each one of us. In Psalm 139 of the Bible, it says He knows everything about us. Of course, He does because God created us perfectly (He does not make mistakes), He knows when we travel, stand up, sit down, rest, what we are going to say, and even our thoughts.

From the time we are born until way past when our hair turns white, God has us in His hands ready to make sure we are blessed when we follow Him in all we do. He is our Guide, Helper, and the Author of every single moment of our lives as recorded in His divine book! Imagine that: 

The Book of ___ (enter your name) ___by The Creator of the Universe.

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you” (Isaiah 46:4 NLT).

 

Where Can We Find Help?

Use caution!

No one in their right minds would ever want to come across or tempt an animal such as a wild tiger. Especially one that is not in a good mood! Of course, we can probably all remember the famous duo, Siegfried & Roy who made a career out of training and handling wild animals and they were very good at it for many years entertaining audiences in Las Vegas. (Roy had a stroke on stage and his white tiger bit him ending Roy’s career. He died recently on May 8, 2020, from Covid-19).

Many of us are animal lovers and some not. Animals can be demanding but they certainly warm our hearts and offer companionship. And they do such funny things! But we admit, there are animals who have a grumpy attitude about them causing us a not-so-happy encounter if we have ever had the unfortunate occasion of being bitten.

Amazingly, grumpiness is a trait that can affect humans too, especially when faced with a life-changing situation such as a divorce or even a death in the family. Just ask, how often have I felt grumpy lately?

Turning Grumpy into Cheerful

It happens. Yes, it does. In fact, it is almost expected in the first days, weeks, and months following a divorce or death in the family. So, let’s not beat ourselves up over it; it’s a normal feeling. Of course, over an extended period, it is not so enjoyable, entertaining, or exhilarating. All that anxiety, worry, and distress can ruin our health.  

Hopefully, that uncomfortable state has passed for now. But in case it is still hanging around like a bad household odor, what might we do to reach a better frame of mind? Some of the following ideas have helped many women to find their “happy” place. Start by remembering this famous quip:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” [Jessie Potter, educator, and counselor at the Woman to Woman Conference, 1981]

[Please note this quote was made popular much later by motivational speaker Tony Robbins].

Finding Our Happy Place

Get out and be happy!

• Read – go to the local library and find dozens of books on attitudes, gratitude, and making progress as a single-again woman. (Of course, Kindle works too). A good starting place because we don’t know what we don’t know!
• Connect – sitting home alone isn’t going to work. Better to open the Contacts on our smartphones or computer and count how many friends (especially single ones) we’ve been missing and make a friendly call today!
•  Talk - there is no shame or harm in speaking with a professional counselor or pastor about how to move past our past which is like an anchor holding us down.
•  Record – start journaling. Really. Instead of feeling angry, grumpy, and down, we can take our thoughts to the pages of our notebook (no one else will see it). Try to make this a daily habit and see what fabulous results we get. It doesn’t need to be lengthy. Nine minutes while drinking our coffee or tea in the morning is great. Now, we can begin our day refreshed!
•  Celebrate – one of the worse things we can do is decline invitations to have fun with people. It gets easier every time we say “Yes.” Just this one thing can cause a positive reaction in your mind and suddenly grumpiness is a thing of the past.

There are millions of things we can do to become the person we’ve always wanted to be. Do we have to change? Sure. Life is stale without change. But we can be in the driver’s seat this time around and create for ourselves a brand-new world just the way we dream of!

Who Is Going to Help Us?

One of the best things about reaching a point in our life we can be proud of is being able to share it with others. Wanting to help other women who are still struggling with bitterness, negative thoughts, and uncomfortable feelings is truly a gift. We’ve been there—we’re experts. We know how it goes and there are lots of options others need to hear about.

Speaking of “help,” none of these suggestions and tips will work without first asking the Lord God to direct our steps. He’s way ahead of us and is just waiting for us to talk to him about our lives and where they are going. He’s got ideas! So, perfect as he is, upon accepting him as Lord of our life, he will gladly give us his Helper called the Holy Spirit. His Spirit will provide guidance, wisdom, and discernment. And how can we go any further without those?

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).

What Do You Really Enjoy Doing?

It is now about three weeks into the New Year. The typical week when resolutions go down the drain. But, no fear, this is not a message about the promises we made to ourselves or the reason for breaking them. Whew! No guilt trip here, ever. We're not about that.

Instead, let's just get it over with and honestly face the fact exercise is not a sweet pleasure for many women. There, we said it! In fact, it’s a painful drudgery for some of us. Oh, sure, when we were 20-something (before babies, that is) and had the fantasy that we could look like the latest magazine model, if we only put in the effort, the dream lasted for about three minutes while we squeezed into our Showpo or Princess Polly bikini.

How Muscles Can Kill Us

We're certainly not saying no one needs exercise just because we hate it. Because, unfortunately, without some kind of workout, our muscles will lose their strength and atrophy over time. We actually fail our own bodies. The point here is that we need to find what will actually work for us and get out there and enjoy movement.

We can begin by asking ourselves, what do I really enjoy doing that I don't think is exercise per se? And it's not a gym we are talking about. It's just anything that makes us move. It could be tennis, swimming, jumping rope, biking, hiking, or just simply walking. There are numerous fun activities we could do and many of them we can do with our kids, family, or friends.       

Spirit and Soul: BFFs

Find your quiet place

The good news is we have a human spirit that is “alive and well” inside our body. It “connects” with our soul, although separate. Our spirit is daily restored to a strong and fresh start each morning. We don’t need to go for a three-mile run to “wake up” our spirit--it is our “breath.”

Paradoxically, that breath of life gives us the energy to go on that daily run. Without paying attention to the spirit that drives us--that is alive in us--nothing will ever get done in our lives. When we ignore the very motivating force that directs our lives, we lose a life of purpose and significance.

We can experience a fresh start when we understand who motivates, encourages, directs, and protects us. That's a big "benefit package" he offers to us! He is the Holy Spirit of God. He is everywhere, knows everything and everyone, and is all-powerful. He lives in each one of us who has asked Jesus to be our Lord and Savior. Thankfully, he is given to us to be our Helper. We can never fail when our human spirits connect with the Holy Spirit of God.

Are we ready for a life-companion that cares about our every “movement” like no other?

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 2 Corinthians 4:16