How to Listen to That Voice Inside

“One early morning around three o’clock as my husband and I was sleeping soundly, our four-year-old son somehow managed to unlock our front door and leave the house on an adventure! He walked all the way down our neighborhood block by himself in the dark.

“Eventually, he turned around and started back but got confused about which house was ours. Thankfully, he ended up in the yard of our next-door neighbors and tried to ride one of the bicycles left outside by their children that day making plenty of noise in the process. Several minutes later we were awakened by a loud knocking on our door.

“Being cautious, we didn’t want to open the door to a stranger in the middle of the night. So, we yelled through the door, ‘Who is it!?’ Our neighbor said to open the door because she had our son with her! ‘No way. That’s not possible,' I said. 'He’s asleep in his bed.’ Her voice (which I then recognized) came back with a panicked shout, ‘OPEN THE DOOR NOW!’

“Finally, we were convinced and opened the door. There stood our son in his pajamas, happy as could be. When questioned, he said he just wanted to find his new bicycle. We discovered that night what sleep-walking can do even to a child. And we were grateful for the wisdom of a good neighbor who listened to her own intuition in the middle of the night.” [B.C. 1973]

Possibilities and Imagination

Has that ever happened to anyone else? No, maybe not that same situation, but something that caused us to stop and listen to what’s going on in our minds. A moment when we are not sure what to do, but suddenly something tells us to turn around and go a different way or to stop and speak to that person we hardly know but who ends up helping us in a sticky situation.

Sometimes our thoughts, or intuition, will lead us into believing something is possible or likely. In fact, our gut feeling may have prompted us exactly like that when we finally made the decision to start a new single-again life. We saw it as a possibility. It may not have been our decision to begin with but slowly we listened to our own thoughts and started planning our future with some imagination.

No matter which stages we are in right now—shock, denial, fear, possibility, or I-can-do-this attitude—the fact remains, life goes on with or without us. So, let’s not get left behind and buried in the chaos of the past. Creating a life of peace and joy may be difficult, yes, but oh, so very worth it!

Welcome the Voice Inside

We all have voices inside from the time we are born. They direct us to choose right from wrong, truth from lies, friends from enemies, and harmony from pandemonium. The main question is then, how can we learn to recognize and separate the voices playing tug-of-war in our heads?

Maybe, just maybe, training our ears to accept the most decent and honorable paths will bring us our best life. To begin, we need to develop practices and patterns to help us stay on track, and then they will just become second nature to us. Try these one at a time and keep adding to them.

Comfort… life can be scary much of the time depending on which direction the world is going and, more importantly, how we respond to it. But there is one sure way we can practice this life-giving habit. Every morning open this amazing book called the Holy Bible and spend just a bit of time reading and listening to the heavenly voice of God. He will direct our best path.      

Trust… humanly speaking, it is difficult to trust just anyone. We know this from our previous relationship(s). But we can build better, more trustworthy friendships if we try.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! you too? I thought I was the only one.’” [C.S. Lewis]

In the end, we need to remember, God is the only One whom we can put our faith in 100 percent of the time.

Prayer… Nothing we try will be more important than developing a habit of prayer. Many people don’t realize it’s not necessary to be inside a church building to pray or memorize a long, drawn-out prayer by rote.

In fact, the best thing about prayer is it’s simply a conversation with God. Since He is everywhere all the time, He can hear us speaking to Him and we don’t need any special words. Even just a one-line request, “Help me, God, to do well in this interview” is enough for Him to answer.      

“Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or the left” (Isaiah 30:21 NLT).

What Can You Do About Feeling Grumpy?

Another Grumpy Cat 

Today is a sad day for any feline lovers as the famous cat known as “Grumpy Cat” has passed away. She was only seven years old--considered young for a cat—but died of a urinary tract infection according to her owners.

   

“The blue-eyed cat with the withering stare and permafrown that suggested perpetual irritation . . .was not always Grumpy Cat. When she was a kitten, she was named Tardar Sauce. But before she was even a year old, a photo of her concave, grouchy look — the result of an underbite — made her famous, and her new name took hold.” (www.npr.org)

Some of you may be animal lovers and some not, but everyone probably has heard about that famous Grumpy stare! It’s a condition that can affect any human too, especially when faced with a life-changing situation such as a divorce or even a death in the family. Just ask, how often have I felt grumpy lately?

Turning Grumpy into Cheerful

It happens. Yes, it does. In fact, it is almost expected in the first days, weeks, and months after what you have gone through, so don’t beat yourself up over it; it’s a normal feeling. Of course, it is not a feeling that is enjoyable, entertaining, or exhilarating over an extended period. All that anxiety, worry, and distress can ruin your health.  

Hopefully, that uncomfortable state has passed for now. But in case it is still hanging around like a bad household odor, what might you do to reach a better frame of mind? Some of the following ideas have helped many women to find their “happy” place. Start by remembering this famous quip:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” [Jessie Potter, educator, and counselor at the Woman to Woman Conference, 1981]

[Please note this quote was made popular much later by motivational speaker Tony Robbins].

Finding Your Happy Place

·         Read – go to the local library and find dozens of books on attitudes, gratitude, and making progress as a single-again woman. (Of course, Kindle works too). Start here because you don’t know what you don’t know!

Wanna Talk? 

·         Connect – Sitting home alone isn’t going to work. Open your Contacts on your smartphone or computer and count how many friends (especially single ones) you’ve been missing and call them today!

·         Talk - There is no shame or harm in speaking with a professional counselor or pastor about how to move past your past which is like an anchor holding you down.

·         Record – if you aren’t already journaling, please start. Instead of feeling angry, grumpy, and down, take your thoughts to the pages of your notebook (no one else will see it). Try to make this a daily habit and see what fabulous results you get. It doesn’t need to be lengthy. Nine minutes while drinking your coffee or tea is great. Now, you can begin your day refreshed!

·         Celebrate – one of the worse things you can do is decline invitations to have fun with people. It gets easier every time you say “Yes.” Just this one thing can cause a positive reaction in your mind and suddenly grumpiness is a thing of the past.

There are millions of things you can do to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Do you have to change? Sure. Life is stale without change. But you can be in the driver’s seat this time around and create yourself a brand-new world just the way you dream of!

Who Is Going to Help You?

One of the best things about reaching a point in your life you can be proud of is being able to share it with others. Wanting to help other women who are still struggling with bitterness, negative thoughts, and uncomfortable feelings is truly a gift. You’ve been there—you’re an expert. You know how it goes and there are lots of options others need to hear about.

Speaking of “help,” none of these suggestions and tips will work without first asking the Lord God to direct your steps. He’s way ahead of you and is just waiting for you to talk to Him about your life and where it is going. He’s got ideas! So, perfect as He is, upon accepting Him as Lord of your life, He will give you his Helper called the Holy Spirit. His Spirit who is perfect in providing guidance, wisdom, and discernment. And how can you go any further without those?

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).