7 Sure Steps to Finding Out Who You Are

No matter what kind of relationship interruption we have survived, we can and usually do recover with time. Likely, it took more than a "minute" to arrive at such a decision with so many factors to consider. There were the days, months, or even years trying to mend the brokenness to no avail. It wore us out. 

So, it stands to reason, it will take a season or more to restore our lives; to hit the refresh button on life. Exactly how long depends on many things, including how long we were a couple. There is no need to rush it. In fact, that's probably the worst thing we could do at this point. That doesn't mean we should just stop living, but we can learn to be gentle with ourselves. 

Standing in the Storm

Time is a remarkable healer, repairing our minds and souls from the inside out. If we slow down just a bit and allow it, time--combined with patience, persistence, and prayer--will supply all the tools to build a foundation that will stand in a storm.

Of course, first things first. We must secure what our future income looks like (savings, employment, alimony, etc.) and then explore housing options (family home, new home, a move, etc.) Once the basics are in place, everything else can wait for now.

What could make the rest of the healing period less stressful is finding and using our talents and gifts. The ones we have forgotten about, but still have; those we were born with and haven't used. It is not selfish to take care of ourselves in this way. Call it an indulgence if you will, but it is a necessity. 

Just like our health, if we don't do something about what is bothering us, we will suffer. And we are the only ones who have the insight to care for what we need at this point; the only ones who know what we want. We can call on others for support and should, but we can't expect anyone else to find the key to our happiness.   

Seven Sure Steps

Let's look at these seven steps for discovering who we are deep down inside. In experimenting with some of these ideas, we can unlock the door to our future and find our God-given purpose. Feel free to add to these in your own words.

1. When we admit what we really want to do with our future, our confidence grows.
2.  We discover the possibilities open to us--maybe for the first time--and find faith.
3.  We begin a pattern of lifetime growth and learning, which creates joy.
4.  We let go of fear, skepticism, and failure; in the process, we discover love.  
5.  We find connection with others who are in the same boat and let go of loneliness.
6.  We build a community of support and find strength.
7.  We reach out to others, share our experience, and claim abundance.

Hitting the Mark

The best way to recognize our true potential is by reading the Bible. Why is that true? Because God created each one of us and it’s how He speaks to us. He knows us inside and out and has all the answers about our future no matter what we have done or not done in the past. He still loves us!

If you haven't found a church home yet, don't wait. They usually hold regular classes to help with the search, discovery, and understanding of our spiritual gifts.  

Because we are unique, we all have different needs to begin our journey. But we all have gifts that God graced us with and, no matter what age or status we find ourselves in right now, we can determine exactly what that gift is and how we will use it. When we do that, we have hit the mark!

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. 1 Corinthians 12:4