How to Save Our Sanity This Christmas

Christmas can be celebrated in several ways. True, traditions are personal and precious for most of us (especially if we have small children still at home), but it doesn’t mean we must adhere to old patterns forever. Now that we are on our own as single-again women, it just might be fun and much less stressful if we change things up a bit.  

It isn't a requirement to participate in all the demanding in-person shopping and gift-giving which, of course, in 2020 could be a safety issue. Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus—always has been, always will be. So, we are here to say, it is okay to take a break from tradition and skip all the commercial "hoop-la" this year if one chooses. We understand the first few years without a spouse takes some getting used to and a quiet Christmas is good for our souls.  

Sure, many of our friends and relatives who don't fathom what we are going through will gasp at the change in our plans for this one year. They might think something is terribly wrong with us. Depending on our own attitudes, eventually, they will understand we are merely adjusting, not dropping out of the human race! Christmas will simply be on a smaller scale than usual.

What Might a Quiet Christmas Look Like?

We are not speaking of hibernating in a closet and never coming out until mid-January! Celebrating the best quiet Christmas ever could look like:

• inviting one favorite person to dinner instead of joining a massive holiday party with all the background noise
• shopping online instead of fighting the crowds at the mall
• putting up a tabletop tree (or two or three) instead of spending energy decorating and wrestling with a ceiling-high tree 
• using candles and a Nativity set instead of decorating the entire house
• taking a friend to candlelight church service instead of baking nine pies at the last minute out of guilt
• reading the Christmas story found in the Holy Bible, Luke 2:1-21 with a niece/nephew while their parents go out
• completely getting away on a little side trip by ourselves

Saving Our Sanity for Another Season

Changing the way we do things now may save our sanity and is one of the best ways to strengthen ourselves. We can be healed from all the pain, sorrow, and worry just by taking care of ourselves; by quietly listening to the God Who loves us beyond doubt. There is no way to hear Him speak to us unless we remain quiet. The noise and chaos in the world drown out His voice. So, we can do Christmas quietly this year and see a difference in our hearts and minds as we prepare for a better year ahead!

“For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. . .And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6 NLT).

 

How Can We Calm Down the Craziness?

Welcome Wreath!

It’s here! Twenty-three more days to Christmas! The month of December has some varied and crazy kinds of celebrations around the world. It just takes a walk through a shopping mall to discover the prime time for retailers is now (we can check our credit card statement in about four weeks!). And it seems each year is trying to out-do the previous one. So much so, we tend to forget what in the world we are doing!

Discover Something New

Traditional activities can somewhat calm down the craziness. A favorite, first made popular in Germany in the 1900s, is various paper calendars to count down the days in December. Each one has twenty-four or twenty-five little windows that can be opened one day at a time exposing beautiful or fun pictures to the delight of a child. We always had these when I was a child and I still enjoy them. Hurry and get one because it’s already December 2^nd!

Another peaceful and meaningful practice in many homes is putting up a Nativity scene either now or when the Christmas tree goes up. In 1974 a neighbor of mine, who made ceramics, surprised me with a Christmas gift—a fifteen-piece Nativity set which is still in one piece (or should I say 15 pieces) today and is put up on the first Sunday of December (like yesterday). A string of tiny, white lights surrounds the scene. It’s a joy to see it lit up every night!

Aside from our own homes, we can witness Christmas traditions everywhere including in our churches. Many churches begin the Christmas countdown with what is called Advent candles. This consists of an evergreen wreath with four, large candles around the edges and one more candle in the center. Each Sunday in December a candle is lit and on each of the following Sundays, one more candle is lit. On Christmas Day (or Eve) the last Advent candle is lit. What does it all mean?

There are various meanings surrounding the season of Advent, which means “coming.” But to make this simpler, we can remember that the five candles represent the following themes:

Candle of Hope

• Hope (or promise)
• Preparation (waiting)
• Joy (peace)
• Love (adoration)

And the fifth (center) candle represents the true meaning of Christmas, the Birth of Jesus Who is the Light of the World.

It’s a Perfect Time!

Traditions anchor us in a world gone crazy during this season. As we see our children grown and off making their own traditions with their own families, sometimes our homes can take on a simple or “minimalist” environment. It’s not so important to go “bananas” trying to keep it just the way it was when the kids were five, eleven, or even thirteen. Actually, it’s rather fun to see a new kind of wonderful appear in our homes.

The one and only event to keep in the forefront is to remember and celebrate the birthday of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Who can light our world with heavenly stars, angels blowing trumpets, and three kings bringing the gifts! Now that’s a perfect birthday party!

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise” (Hebrews 10:23 NLT).     

Ready for Something Different This Year?

Three Wise Men Bring Gifts

Christmas can be celebrated anywhere in many individual ways. It isn't a requirement to participate in all the demanding shopping and gift-giving. It's simply about the birth of Jesus. So, we are here to say, it is absolutely okay to take a break and skip all the commercial "hoop-la" this year if one chooses. The first year as a single-again woman takes some getting used to and a quiet Christmas is good for our souls.  


Sure many of our friends and relatives who can't imagine what we are going through will gasp at the change in our plans for this one year. They might think something else is truly wrong with us. Eventually, they will understand we are just adjusting, not dropping out of the human race! Christmas will simply be on a smaller scale than usual. 


What Does a Quiet Christmas Look Like?
We are definitely not speaking of hibernating in a closet and never coming out until mid-January! Celebrating the best quiet Christmas ever could look like:

• attending dinner with one favorite person instead of joining a massive holiday party with all the background noise 

• shopping online instead of fighting the crowds at the mall

• putting up a tabletop tree instead of spending energy decorating & wrestling with a ceiling-high tree

• using candles and a Nativity set instead of decorating the entire house

Candlelight Service

• Taking a friend to candlelight church service instead of baking 20 pies at the last minute out of guilt

• reading the Christmas story with a niece/nephew while their parents go out

• completely getting away on a little side trip by ourselves

Changing the way we do things now is the way to be strengthened. We can be healed from all the pain, sorrow and worry just by taking care of ourselves; by quietly listening to the God Who loves us beyond a doubt and gave us a special Christmas gift! 

Something Different

There is no way to hear Him speak to us unless we remain quiet. The noise and chaos in the world definitely drowns out His voice. May we suggest you take some special quiet time for yourself and spend it with the One who is anxious to give you a gift of "Comfort and Joy?" We all certainly need that kind of Love! 

"For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. . .And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:6 NLT).

What Gift Would You Give Yourself?

Finding Christmas Gifts

Oh, yes! It's here! Only 22 days until Christmas! Every single year we reach this point on the calendar and ask ourselves, Where in the world did this year go? It's both strangely melancholy and wonderfully exciting for most people. Sure, you may not be the one that is watching those Hallmark Christmas movies on TV because they are sugary sweet, but something about this time of year probably makes you smile if you try and admit it.

Could it be that this is your first year as a single-again woman whether divorced, widowed, or a single mom? If it is, we truly know and understand those feelings of dread. We've been there and no one is saying you should ignore all of that! We are simply here to encourage you to move through this mess and get to the other side in one piece, with peace. Are you in?

Getting Somewhere
Since we are talking about the giving season, how would you answer this question: What gift would you give yourself right now if you could? Is some of your reluctance this month to budge from the couch tied to not knowing what to do with your new life? Now we are getting somewhere! 

Many women when they get married find themselves giving up a goal or dream or wish for a certain kind of life. In fact, it's nearly expected that she sets aside her purpose to become a housewife (or a domestic engineer as some circles describe the role). Yes, it happens, even in this modern century. Now don't start clenching your teeth in indignation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a "family manager" as we prefer to say; it is hard work, indeed. That admirable position is perfectly okay IF that was your personal dream. Only you can address that subject. We just want to know where do we go from here?  

If we are like many girls graduating high school, someone may have asked us at one point, What do you want to be when you grow up? And the majority of us had some kind of an answer. Some go to college to major in a subject that matches their specific goal. Or maybe to a trade school or an on-the-job training program. But what happens when we marry and never pursue that path in our life? 

Capturing Dreams
Now comes the good news! We are on our own now and can actually recapture those long-ago dreams and make them come true. We hear you, but it is NOT too late! Don't let that be an excuse that holds you back. This is our second chance!   

Getting Ready for Christmas

After decorating the house and wrapping all those Christmas presents for everyone we know, the best gift we can give ourselves is dusting off our life's purpose and plan. It hasn't disappeared--it's just dormant. It has always been there in the back of our minds. 

Start imagining how to reactivate that gift(s) to become the real you. It may need an adjustment or "tweaking" after all these years of "cobwebs," but that's the fun part! Begin creating a life around those abilities and talents. You may even have more than one (and we can assure you they are somehow tied to each other to equal one fantastic life!).

Just Imagine
No one ever got anywhere by themselves. We need each other and we need the best Gift Giver of all--God Himself--Who has always been generous to us. He wants us to become the beautiful, accomplished, and joyful woman He created as we discover His purpose and plan for us. Then we will reach the best life we could ever imagine. 

"Do not neglect the spiritual gift you received...Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress" (1 Timothy 4:14, 15 NLT).