7 Sure Steps to Finding Out Who You Are

No matter what kind of relationship interruption we have survived, we can and usually do recover with time. Likely, it took more than a "minute" to arrive at such a decision with so many factors to consider. There were the days, months, or even years trying to mend the brokenness to no avail. It wore us out. 

So, it stands to reason, it will take a season or more to restore our lives; to hit the refresh button on life. Exactly how long depends on many things, including how long we were a couple. There is no need to rush it. In fact, that's probably the worst thing we could do at this point. That doesn't mean we should just stop living, but we can learn to be gentle with ourselves. 

Standing in the Storm

Time is a remarkable healer, repairing our minds and souls from the inside out. If we slow down just a bit and allow it, time--combined with patience, persistence, and prayer--will supply all the tools to build a foundation that will stand in a storm.

Of course, first things first. We must secure what our future income looks like (savings, employment, alimony, etc.) and then explore housing options (family home, new home, a move, etc.) Once the basics are in place, everything else can wait for now.

What could make the rest of the healing period less stressful is finding and using our talents and gifts. The ones we have forgotten about, but still have; those we were born with and haven't used. It is not selfish to take care of ourselves in this way. Call it an indulgence if you will, but it is a necessity. 

Just like our health, if we don't do something about what is bothering us, we will suffer. And we are the only ones who have the insight to care for what we need at this point; the only ones who know what we want. We can call on others for support and should, but we can't expect anyone else to find the key to our happiness.   

Seven Sure Steps

Let's look at these seven steps for discovering who we are deep down inside. In experimenting with some of these ideas, we can unlock the door to our future and find our God-given purpose. Feel free to add to these in your own words.

1. When we admit what we really want to do with our future, our confidence grows.
2.  We discover the possibilities open to us--maybe for the first time--and find faith.
3.  We begin a pattern of lifetime growth and learning, which creates joy.
4.  We let go of fear, skepticism, and failure; in the process, we discover love.  
5.  We find connection with others who are in the same boat and let go of loneliness.
6.  We build a community of support and find strength.
7.  We reach out to others, share our experience, and claim abundance.

Hitting the Mark

The best way to recognize our true potential is by reading the Bible. Why is that true? Because God created each one of us and it’s how He speaks to us. He knows us inside and out and has all the answers about our future no matter what we have done or not done in the past. He still loves us!

If you haven't found a church home yet, don't wait. They usually hold regular classes to help with the search, discovery, and understanding of our spiritual gifts.  

Because we are unique, we all have different needs to begin our journey. But we all have gifts that God graced us with and, no matter what age or status we find ourselves in right now, we can determine exactly what that gift is and how we will use it. When we do that, we have hit the mark!

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. 1 Corinthians 12:4

 

 

Celebrating Our Journey Together!

Enough

Three years ago this week, this blog was launched as a tribute and encouragement to single-again women everywhere. Women who have experienced too much sorrow, hurt, pain, and garbage, too soon in their lives. With this dissolution staring us in the face, Fresh Start Momentum (FSM) moved forward in 2016 believing every woman, regardless of race, color, age, or nationality, is valuable to herself and others, worthy of respect, and extraordinary in all she strives to become. She is honored for her persistence and perseverance. She is priceless. WE are priceless!

A Brand New World

It’s been a wild and exciting ride sharing these posts. Hopefully, they have brought enjoyment while at the same time have been practical and forward-thinking. FSM continues to encourage every woman--whether divorced, widowed, or a single mom--to live a life of confidence and strength, as our journey grows and expands into a brand new world. Striving to invigorate and energize our lives, FSM stands beside each one of us cheering our efforts to build momentum into a brand new Fresh Start because new and better days are ahead for all of us!

Over the last few years, women from all over the world--including Ukraine, Spain, Japan, France, Portugal, Israel, Brazil, Poland, Germany, Russia, the United Kingdom, Pakistan, and the United States among many others--have stopped to read these blog messages. We are part of this "testament" of courageous women anxious to re-invent our lives as we grow through past disaster and devastation. No matter where we live out our lives, FSM is truly thankful for each one of you!   

We must keep reminding ourselves not to give up, but to seek answers, get out of our own way, and stay "plugged in" for the long haul, then we are ready to build, or re-build, a single-again life that brings with it all the peace and joy we could ever imagine. The important lesson of "replacement" teaches how to exchange the lie that we are worthless, with the truth that we can accomplish anything we can dream. The journey begins in our minds which no one can take from us.

The Key of Belonging 

We hope to share knowledge, wisdom, ideas, and tips on living the most powerful and persuasive lives we can with what we have been given. It is never too late to begin. No matter what has happened in the past, going forward with confidence is all that counts.

We are planning for the coming year to continue finding what makes each one of us excited to get out of bed each day. This is our time now and we just can’t waste it and let it go without a thought. As always, FSM is determined not to cultivate an atmosphere of gloom and doom. And we hope you join us in that endeavor in your home. There’s too much of that “disease” going around. We have much more important and fun things to do here.

The Key of Belonging

A “key” to take and put in our pockets right now is the fact, we belong to each other; we are a community of strong women. Sure, we can’t all meet in person, but a place of belonging (even a virtual one) is important to dissolve the no-one-cares-about-me feelings that can get us down. Let's be determined to not let that happen! Realize our lives are different now and in many ways better. This requires a new paradigm or pattern and a fresh way of looking at possibilities that we each can create for ourselves. FSM is here throughout 2019-2020 to inspire us to get the momentum going and keep it going. Achieving this momentum will help us to help others in our shoes. And the wheels spin on and on and on and.......

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

Every woman was shaped by the Creator of the Universe. His love of our individual, inherent worth is beyond imagination. In turn, we are called to influence those around us. We can not affect others positively without first becoming our true selves. God uses all kinds of women, all around the world to accomplish His purpose. He has a plan to bring us fresh hope and a bright future. Who else can promise that? It all starts with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. With Him, and only Him, all things are possible. This is what the Lord says:

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for" (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG).

How To Build an Amazing Journey

Grand Canyon in Arizona

 In America, we have some of the most magnificent sites and they are not just for tourists from around the world who visit. Americans would be wise to see these attractions themselves so they can have first-hand knowledge of their own country. The Grand Canyon in Arizona is one of those amazing places.

There simply is nothing like this Canyon. On average, 4.5 million visitors annually are attracted to this extra large “hole” in the ground that measures 277 miles long, up to 18 miles wide and over a mile deep.

The staff at curiosity.com says, “The water from ALL the world’s rivers would only fill the Grand Canyon halfway! You can actually see the Grand Canyon from space. . .The river that carved the Grand Canyon is the Colorado River, which is only 100 meters wide. The Mississippi and Amazon Rivers are far bigger, but neither have made a giant canyon. So how did this one canyon get so grand? The Colorado River is unique in that is transports 500,000 tons of silt and sand every day. And for every mile the river travels, it drops 10 miles down. While this river took care of carving away a deep slit in the canyon, gravity and weather helped make the Grand Canyon wider and wider. But that's not the end of the story: The Grand Canyon is getting deeper and wider every day!!”

One Amazing Journey

As a single-again woman who has gone through the deepest and longest ordeal of your life, the Grand Canyon may not seem that amazing. (But we still suggest a trip there to see. It may help put everything into perspective). You are on an adventurous journey of your own and the sights are all new, to say the least. Scary maybe, but not impossible.

What you do and how you do it, will determine how wonderful and amazing your life really can be. The alternative, of course, is to sit and brood all day, every day and end up nowhere, sad and lonely. It’s definitely up to you because you are on your own now and no one can make decisions for you. No one is forcing you to move on. For those who wish to have a better life though, the options are endless. Ready to go? This is exciting!

You may be just starting--the first stage--or you may be in the middle or approaching the exact spot you are aiming for. It doesn’t matter how fast or how slow you wish to go. What does matter is that you never give up! You have dreams and ideas way in the back of your head that have been there for years. So, it’s time to get them out on the table like puzzle pieces and have some fun.

In fact, if you are a visual person and want to see this in a creative and concrete way, you could create a puzzle out of each piece of your dream. Choose Option 1 or 2 below whichever appeals to you.

OPTION 1: Puzzle

1. Grab some colored poster board or construction paper
2. Cut the whole piece into many different, odd, and crazy shapes
3. On the back side of each one, name one small thing you want to see happen (i.e., take a creative class at your community college; change the furniture around; buy new dishes at a local thrift store; change all bedding for new ones)
4. On the front, number each one so they fit together in order
5. On a separate piece of large poster board (different color), put your “puzzle” together, numbers facing up and secure with “movable” double sided tape

Done! It’s beautiful!

TO USE: Now each morning/week go to your puzzle and pick one number, check the back, and decide this is what you will do today. No guessing or getting stuck about what to do with your new life. This will point you in the right direction. Keep it up!

OPTION 2: Colored Image (something easier)

1. Purchase one of those numerous “adult coloring books”
2. Choose a page with separate elements, like flowers
3. Number and name each one with a “dream” item (see #3 above)
4. Let those items correspond with each day of the week/month

TO USE: each day color just one image you have named. When done, this is your guide for what to do that particular day. Easy, fun, and effective.

Beautiful Joy

Wide, Long, High and Deep

Your life can be as fun and interesting as you want. Whatever your passion, you can make it come true and create a beautiful life full of joy. As you go about each day, you will see just how very much God loves you and is willing to Guide you in all areas. Start each morning asking for His direction and thanking Him for all He provides.

Remember, His love for you is bigger than the Grand Canyon. Wow! In fact, HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO MADE IT! Plan a trip to see His Amazing Grace!

"And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is" (Ephesians 3:18-19 NLT).

Where Is Your Focus as a Widow?

Bloom Where You Are Planted

Today, Fresh Start Momentum continues a SUMMER SISTER SERIES highlighting the lives of some famous and amazing women who might just encourage us in our own struggles. True stories that can give us insights for our lives in the 21st Century and how all women--married or not--have always been important throughout history. Relax as we cheer on our "sisters" and their stunning journeys.

Solving Nightmares

Each week we are presenting a woman that can teach us life lessons. Someone who is not perfect, but is human like us. Some are single, single-again or widowed as in today's story. The timeline may be ancient but stay with us while we learn how God honored and used women throughout history. He still does.

No one can possibly know unless they have been one themselves, but the widow has a tremendous road to travel. Psychologists state it is one of life’s most traumatic losses next only to the loss of a child. Add to this the absence of income (if the husband was the only wage-earner), and then multiply it by the loneliness factor, as most widows live alone. It’s what nightmares are made of.

Anna was married just seven years when her husband died. She didn’t give up on life though. She followed in the footsteps of Miriam, Deborah, and Huldah who all cared about their country’s relationship with the Lord. We could ask ourselves, how often do we pray for our country, state, and city? How about our leaders?

Anna was a godly woman who became a prophetess. In fact, she spent so much time in the Temple praying, she eventually made it her living arrangement! Considering her situation, we may wonder, why not?

Basilica of Holy Sepulchre, Jerusalem

Anna worshiped and fasted without a break. She literally devoted herself to the Lord. It sounds like she was waiting for instructions from the Lord, doesn’t it? It surely took a lot of listening. Maybe easier for her than in our high-tech world of noise and chaos.

When it came time for Mary and Joseph to present their child, Jesus, at the Temple, Anna was there. Notice she made herself available for God to use her. Anna witnessed the dedication, praised God, and then came over to speak to Mary and Joseph.

We can only imagine what was said. It appears she was more than delighted to see this child! She spoke about the Messiah to all who had been waiting for God to rescue Jerusalem.

Anna remained a widow all her days until she was 84.

Our Part and Purpose

We know women naturally live longer than men. This may be why God commanded us all to care for each other, especially widows, in whatever way we can. As we see in the life of Anna, our lives can make a difference to others, no matter what our status in life.

God has a purpose for each one of us in every walk of life. Let’s not waste our time on earth sitting in sorrow and loneliness. Find a "sister," friend, or mentor and become the light in their world! Then listen for the voice of God.

*The story of Anna can be found in the Bible, Luke 2:36-38.

If a woman who is a believer has relatives who are widows, she must take care of them and not put the responsibility on the church. Then the church can care for the widows who are truly alone. 1 Timothy 5:16