How to Save Our Sanity This Christmas

Christmas can be celebrated in several ways. True, traditions are personal and precious for most of us (especially if we have small children still at home), but it doesn’t mean we must adhere to old patterns forever. Now that we are on our own as single-again women, it just might be fun and much less stressful if we change things up a bit.  

It isn't a requirement to participate in all the demanding in-person shopping and gift-giving which, of course, in 2020 could be a safety issue. Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus—always has been, always will be. So, we are here to say, it is okay to take a break from tradition and skip all the commercial "hoop-la" this year if one chooses. We understand the first few years without a spouse takes some getting used to and a quiet Christmas is good for our souls.  

Sure, many of our friends and relatives who don't fathom what we are going through will gasp at the change in our plans for this one year. They might think something is terribly wrong with us. Depending on our own attitudes, eventually, they will understand we are merely adjusting, not dropping out of the human race! Christmas will simply be on a smaller scale than usual.

What Might a Quiet Christmas Look Like?

We are not speaking of hibernating in a closet and never coming out until mid-January! Celebrating the best quiet Christmas ever could look like:

• inviting one favorite person to dinner instead of joining a massive holiday party with all the background noise
• shopping online instead of fighting the crowds at the mall
• putting up a tabletop tree (or two or three) instead of spending energy decorating and wrestling with a ceiling-high tree 
• using candles and a Nativity set instead of decorating the entire house
• taking a friend to candlelight church service instead of baking nine pies at the last minute out of guilt
• reading the Christmas story found in the Holy Bible, Luke 2:1-21 with a niece/nephew while their parents go out
• completely getting away on a little side trip by ourselves

Saving Our Sanity for Another Season

Changing the way we do things now may save our sanity and is one of the best ways to strengthen ourselves. We can be healed from all the pain, sorrow, and worry just by taking care of ourselves; by quietly listening to the God Who loves us beyond doubt. There is no way to hear Him speak to us unless we remain quiet. The noise and chaos in the world drown out His voice. So, we can do Christmas quietly this year and see a difference in our hearts and minds as we prepare for a better year ahead!

“For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. . .And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6 NLT).

 

Are Your Hopes and Dreams Different Now?

Gray Hare (hair)

It’s certainly not surprising to hear nearly eighty percent of women dye their hair something other than their natural color (Clairol 2008 study as reported at Emerita.com, a women’s wellness site). And, of course, women in Hollywood tend to lead the trends. Can we even remember what actress Diane Keaton (74) looked like before her beautiful gray locks? Or actress Jamie Lee Curtis (61) who sported an “icy white” shade at the 2019 Golden Globes? Country singer Emmylou Harris (72) has looked great in white for more than eight years. Singer and actress Rita Moreno is ninety years old and still looks better in light gray!

As we age, our health, and our looks start turning towards a more natural way of life. It becomes apparent to us that maybe, just maybe, we can avoid much of what we thought was necessary for our younger years such as the latest lipstick color (but still a great way to uplift our spirits!), foundation formula, and hair color. It just doesn’t seem as important as it once was.

This is not to say we shouldn’t keep ourselves looking our very best. Not only watching our diet and participating in exercise but once we choose to turn a shade of gray, we may need to find other colors to wear in our make-up and clothing. Gray, silver, and white tend to “wash out” skin color. A brighter, color-coded clothes closet with various “happy” hues can help solve this problem. Try it out on the next shopping trip and bring some new colors into the dressing room—a fun experiment!

Wise Beyond Our Years

Someone once said (it’s been attributed to many people), “The older I get, the wiser my parents get!” It’s a funny quote that pops up every now and then but points out the truth of our circumstances. As single-again women, we have been through more than we thought we could ever handle. Maybe one reason for our natural locks turning a beautiful silver, but also a reason we are much stronger today than ever!

The joy of being on our own are the changes that cause us to become an entirely new person. We are older, yes. We are wiser, yes. And unless we have re-married, we no longer must worry about taking care of another person right now. We can concentrate on how to become a whole and a better person. A woman who welcomes the chance to improve her perspective or attitude about life.

Graying Our Words

The progress we are looking for involves learning how to form plans for our own happiness while at the same time being careful not to follow just any unproven recipe or a supposed solution someone may offer to us. As stated earlier, we are now wiser than we’ve ever been and so we must use our good sense and take everything “with a grain of different.”

It may help to meet with a life coach or counselor to figure out the best direction to go before jumping into things. Experience teaches us that our lives are quite different now and so might our paths, hopes, and dreams. It’s an exciting journey to find out what we can do. Whatever didn’t work in the past, may not work in our present. So, let’s be open to new and wonderful ways of thinking, concepts, and passions. Wow! We are on our way!

A Good Book to Read

We may never have realized that God Himself points us down the correct path for our best life. And it will certainly be different for each one of us. In Psalm 139 of the Bible, it says He knows everything about us. Because God created us perfectly, He knows when we travel, stand up, sit down, rest, what we are going to say, and even our thoughts.

From the time we are born until our hair turns white, God has us in His hands ready to make sure we are blessed when we follow Him in all we do. He is our Guide and Helper and every single moment of our lives is recorded in His divine book! Imagine that: The Book of __ (enter your name) ___.

            

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you” (Isaiah 46:4 NLT).

How Are You Different Than Anyone Else?

A Little Love

There is a story about a woman who decided to go out and celebrate Valentine’s Day by shopping at an expensive jewelry store. She had always wanted a ruby and diamond ring but her now divorced husband always thought that was a frivolous gift he did not want to give her (ever) even though he could well afford it. She found the perfect single band with alternating sparkling diamonds and the most gorgeous color of rubies. It was made for her. At the time, her purchase satisfied the lack of love she was feeling on this first Valentine’s Day alone. It was a choice.        

Friday of this week is the day so many single-again women struggle with lonely feelings. But, there really is no reason for those sensations. It’s all about our choices. It’s about how we treat ourselves. It’s about the love we can share with others. Valentine’s Day is about love. Period. Who says it must be all about a couple’s relationship? Check the greeting card aisle and see that it is about expressing love to close friends, sisters, brothers, children, neighbors, parents, even co-workers.

Shifting Our Viewpoint

When was the last time we had a chance to do what we wanted to make a day special? It’s really been a while! There are several things we can do to change our outlook and make this day mean something. So, let’s have some fun with it! Take a look at these 13 ideas and tips, then add your own:   

Share the Love!

1. Who needs another horrendous date? What I need is coffee, now!
2. Do something nice for a perfect stranger; you’ll feel special.
3. It’s a great day for a total spa treatment.
4. Bake a chocolate cake and take it to your sister!
5. This week: buy a cozy new pair of pajamas.
6. Friday: take the day off work and stay in those new pajamas!
7. Share the love: go out to dinner with friends and surprise each one with a yellow friendship rose.
8. Change-up Tip: invite a friend in and watch movies you never do, like a western, sci-fi, or comedy.
9. Release tension by jogging, working out, painting, biking, journaling, or playing with your pet.
10. Learn something new like the guitar, mosaics, golf, photography
11. When all else fails, remember, it’s just another day on the calendar! Yes, really!  
12. Pick up a copy of the book, The Princesses I Know by Ayla Mae Wild. She grabs our hearts when she says, "Princesses pursue their own adventures instead of waiting for a prince to write their stories for them."
13. And don’t forget rubies and diamonds go on sale this week!

A Truth Nugget

The One Who created us knows what we need when we need it. We can depend on God because He loves us no matter what. He loves us when we feel lonely, depressed, confused or angry. He willingly tells us the truth (in His Word, the Bible) about forgiving others, divorce, our responsibilities, and answered prayer. The best thing about Jesus is He is our Peace, Deliverer, Companion, Fulfillment, and our Love! He is our Everything!    

“If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that?... If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?” (Matthew 5:46-47 NLT).