How to Keep Our Balance When Life Gets Shaky

Celebrate every day!

We are already six months into the year and are anxious to celebrate our country's 244th birthday, July 4th, 1776--the day when the Declaration of Independence was adopted by Congress and still stands today!  

No, we are not going to have a history lesson here today. We are simply saying that the celebration of America is more than just sparklers and fireworks (although those are lots of fun!). Instead, we want to point out that our lives can be a celebration too--every day. 

Now that we are out on our own and living as single-again women, what could we say is our greatest feeling of all? Would it be the peace we now enjoy? Would it be relief from all the chaos and verbal and physical abuse? How about freedom? All of these and more are a reason to celebrate and fill our hearts with unexplainable joy.

Our Own Independence Day

If our lives don't exactly feel that way (yet), it's okay! We may still be mourning for a life left behind even though that life wasn't what we imagined it should be way back when. Now, think about this: all that freedom we talked about in the above paragraph can be scary and maybe the reason that keeps us from moving forward.   

We have many difficult choices right now so it may seem easier to just turn back and grab for something that is no longer there, which only causes confusion and emptiness. But when we look at our own Independence Day and determine to move through the open doorway, we’ll see the possibilities for our best life on the other side. And our hearts will dance and sing! 

The momentum that escorts us through that door is exciting. It’s like riding a bicycle for the first time in many, many years. We won’t have time to look back but only to view the passing scenery. There are so many things to do, places to go, and plans to make that our days will fly by! We certainly have had ideas running around in our heads for years that we are now free to make happen.

Ready to ride?

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” (Albert Einstein)

This quote is a favorite of this blogger because it displays an attitude of never giving up. If one thing doesn’t work in our lives, we can try another way. If traveling in one direction is frustrating, we can choose a friendlier path. We cannot allow any detours to get in our way because we are determined and know what we want. We just must go after it. Today!

New, Fresh, and Hopeful

Hooray! We are on our way! Planning, experimenting, and seeking wise counsel are all part of this new way to rebuild our lives. We may even want to find other women who are traveling in the same direction. In fact, it is advisable to do so. They may be struggling at the beginning or learning to navigate in the middle or have nearly reached the finish line. So, someone will be able to come alongside us to help no matter where we are on the journey.

The Bible says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT).

If we keep our eyes and ears open and sense something missing while planning our adventure, it may just be a lack of support from others. We shouldn’t feel as if we need to keep our new marital status a secret fearing what others will say. If our attitudes are new, fresh, and hopeful, others can’t help but see improvement in us. And they are the ones we can count on for a friendly face.

"A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song" (Proverbs 15:15 The Msg).

What Gear Are You In?

Learning to Ride

There are as many funny stories about how a child (who us?) learns to ride a bicycle as there are wheels in a factory. It's likely the first dramatic event in our lives once we conquer how to walk! True, it may hurt (depending on how many times we fall) but most children wipe their tears and determinedly get back on the bicycle. Then comes the much-anticipated end result when we finally speed down the road with our hair flying! 

    

You may remember those days trying to learn all you could to become independent even if it hurt. As an adult, it wasn't much different when we fought through the pain, agony, and determination just to get to a better place in our lives as single-again women. But we did it! You may ask, Now what? 

What Gear Are You In?

Someone once said, "It's what you do after [the] mess that counts." That is very good advice whether on a bicycle or in life. Sure, it does take time to move through a period of adjustment and it's not always the most pleasant thing we've ever done. But it's necessary, otherwise, we will remain in a state of despair leading to the debilitating world of depression. And no one wants that, ever!

Basically, there are two different kinds of situations where we come from in this chapter of our lives. We either:

(a) have known for a very long time that we would be dealing with a separation of some sort such as a pending divorce or the terminal illness of a spouse. In these instances, we probably have been planning in some way for the outcome. We are not saying it is any easier just because we have known it, just that we are aware. 

(b) it is sudden, and sometimes, a shocking event that catches us off-guard. In this instance, we may initially tend to panic and/or experience anger which is entirely normal. Having people we trust near-by to help navigate the days ahead makes it easier to reach a sense of peace and a clear head.  

New Gears to Try  

After an initial period of grieving our loss, we may have a pretty good idea of what we want to do now with our lives. Or not. Each situation is different and we are not here to tell you when or how to begin a new life. We are here only to support and encourage you in whatever direction you want to go. 

We've been there and hope some of these ideas may find you anxious to build something new:

Paint Colors for Your World

Take baby steps and don't be afraid to try new things.

Grieving can be lonely so it's okay to join a support group.

Find a new hobby. Experts say creativity is a healing art.

Be sure to get plenty of sleep. It's important for the brain.   

Focus on your health and keep moving.

Keep this in mind: "Life is like a 10-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use." (Charles Schulz, Peanuts cartoon)

Faith is Your Best Friend!

Now is the time to enjoy friends even just for a simple cup of coffee or tea. God, in fact, provides us with these friendships that cross our path. It is how He gives us warmth and comfort along with a way to talk things through with those who may be just one or two steps ahead of us in their own grieving journey. Hold out your hand; God will take you there!

"So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others" (2 Peter 1: 5-7 MSG).