What Happens When We Need Help?

Just a quick scan of the internet will tell us stories of the “Good Samaritan” are alive and well—we just must look for them a little harder. A mother searches for the good person that saved her daughter from drowning out of the kindness of his heart; a stranger pays someone’s fuel bill without asking anything in return; someone helps another avoid a suicide attempt, and a neighbor's cat is rescued. We all wipe away tears when we hear of these heartwarming stories.

However, caring for others may not come naturally. We tend to become preoccupied with our own wants and desires ignoring the needs of those around us. We can even justify to ourselves and friends and family that we each should take care of our own responsibilities and not be bothered by anyone who needs help. This is sometimes the mindset of those who don’t want to become involved even when someone is in danger or in an emergency.

Why Should We?

What happens, then, when we ourselves need help? And, of course, at some point in life (maybe right now), we will, indeed, be in a situation when that occurs. No one can go through life totally alone and expect to never need another to help us out. Recently an article mentioned that we, unfortunately, may only ever know no more than two of our neighbors at any one point in time. And that is just a friendly wave or a one-syllable “Hi.” Knowing the names of people living around us is an additional step. Inviting that neighbor for coffee or dinner is almost unheard of in our world.

What is the point of becoming that person who is willing to drop everything and become a good neighbor/Good Samaritan? Why should we in the first place? If we choose to have compassion for another person, we step out of ourselves and may, then, avoid our own pity party surrounding problems in our lives. Amazingly, we may even arrive at a solution during others’ dilemmas.

Of course, simply helping someone, when we could just walk away, will help us grow in unexpected ways as a human being. Selfishness is a childish trait that is not extremely attractive in an adult. We would never want to admit such a thing or be known as that kind of person. In fact, we may have lived with a person who exhibited this very same personality characteristic and it was difficult and frustrating for us to deal with such a lack of compassion. We are better than that, so consider these personal benefits showered on us when we demonstrate a generous nature.

Nine Blessings of a Good Samaritan:

·                     We naturally become givers in all things

·                     We will prosper and be refreshed in our souls

·                     We are protected against criticism

·                     Wisdom, faith, and knowledge grow

·                     Goodness will be heaped upon us

·                     Our reputations will be remembered

·                     We will have influence and honor

·                     We will “reap what we sow”  

·                     Our world is filled with joy and light, rather than darkness

We are given unique abilities by God and born into a certain time and place whereby, we have what we need to help those put in our path. As humans, we can recognize our own responsibilities and duty when it comes to being that neighbor whom everyone can count on to help. Someone who is always there. Being neighborly can catch on fast, so let’s be the first on our block!

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9 NLT).

 

How to Enlarge Your Circle of Friends

  A little boy about ten years old was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said, “My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?” “I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,” was the boy’s reply.

The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt, washed his little feet, and dried them with a towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, “No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now?”

As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered the question with these words: “Are you God’s wife?” (Author unknown. A story told in mirthandmotivation.com).

One Foot in Front of the Other

So many times, we tend to ignore what is right before us. Especially now when we have just gone through a devastating change in our lives, our problems seem insurmountable and we see nothing else in our path. Each day is difficult. Each hour is excruciating. Each minute is painful.  

These types of feelings are natural and expected especially when our circumstances are brand new to us and it hasn’t been long at all since we became single-again women (divorced, widowed, single mom). At this point, don’t let anyone tell you not to feel the sorrow and distress. There is a certain period where we all go through the stages of grief.

Eventually at some point, we will turn a corner and begin to feel better with each passing day as we put one foot in front of the other. This is when our eyes open a little wider and we can lift our heads. We might even surprise ourselves simply by smiling—at ourselves and others too.

Now is the opportunity to figure out what to do with our lives. How to live differently because, obviously, we are different. Unfortunately, many women try and continue to make everything remain exactly as it was hoping their old life will just reappear in a better light. This is usually an unbelievably bad idea that holds us back from growing and spreading our wings!           

Be a Friend. Gain a Friend.

“Life is 10% what happens and 90% of how you react to it.” (Charles Swindoll, pastor, and author).

Just like the “wise” woman in the (likely fictional) story above, we might try and not dwell on ourselves so much that we forget what is happening in the lives of other people. Of course, the story does not indicate if the woman was single or not, but it seems to us that she was at the very least, generous, kind, and unselfish.    

One of the changes we may have already experienced as a single-again woman is that our circle of “friends” seems to have evolved into several new relationships. We find ourselves gravitating towards other women going through the same scenario. That’s a great sign!

Why? Because we are learning how to spread our wings and have become interested in finding out how others have successfully changed their lives for the better. We are “hanging out” with those who can provide insight, intuition, and intelligence about something we know little about.

Arms Wide Open

The greatest insight we can acquire is to recognize that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us above and beyond what we can imagine. He is unlike any earthly father we have ever known.

God knows us inside and out and cares deeply what we have experienced and what happened to us before and after the change in our marital status. He is waiting for each of us to turn to Him with all our sorrows, grief, heartache, and pain. His arms are wide open! Call out to Him. Run to Him now!                 

“The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends” (Proverbs 11:30 NLT).

 

Gaining Speed!

We are EXCITED! Today, September 18, 2020, is the 4th Anniversary of this blog, FRESH START MOMENTUM!

We just want to THANK YOU for your loyalty in joining us every Monday morning. It wouldn't be the same without you!  

It's been so satisfying writing for all of you wonderful, courageous, and inspiring women. We know what it takes to get your feet on the ground each morning and not pull the covers over your head. We've been there with you!

If you have enjoyed this blog and have found some small bit of encouragement from us for the life you are living, would you help us to keep the MOMENTUM going by sharing it with a friend who needs a kind word? 

Just CLICK HERE to go to the page:

FSM

Or, type in. . .

http://freshstartmomentum.blogspot.com

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! ON OUR WAY TO YEAR FIVE!

  

What Chapter Are You On?

Life really looks different from opposing angles. A long time ago an interesting movie named Chapter Two came out about two people who had each just experienced devastating change in their lives. She, an actress and recently divorced, and he, mourning the death of his wife. One is ready for what the future might hold and the other remains lost, eaten up by guilt.

Our situations could be going through remarkably similar “chapters.” It takes time to adjust and a lot of courage to even want a different life than our previous one. We simply can’t imagine how we will ever make it on our own. Unfortunately, some of us try and hang on and on and on to no avail. It’s as if we no longer have a purpose or any possibilities that we can see. That’s certainly understandable and it’s okay to take however much time as we need.  

Turning the Page

The trouble is 99.9% of us had no choice whether we left, or he did. Once the decision was made by one party, the inevitable happened. Of course, the death of a spouse is an entirely different crisis. It’s a startling and permanent change--an unstable turning point. The one common denominator in all these outcomes is the fact we all need support and encouragement to get to the next chapter.

So, we will take the time to sort out some of our feelings and decide at least the first two or three steps needed to get the momentum going. We can do this! However, if we find ourselves hibernating for too long and holding back from our friends and family, that’s a red flag. Don’t go there! That’s a sure sign we want to “throw in the towel” and have a pity party. Not pretty at all.

Of course, we are not saying we should give up on ever turning to the next page in our stories and, instead, transform into the neighborhood hag no one wants to be around. There are positive ways to move forward so let’s explore.

Five Positive Ideas

    We all need friends. The best #1 suggestion: find a church home to explore our faith and join their women’s group that meets regularly.

Family is important. Touchbase with others by inviting one of them to coffee sooner than later.

Encouragement. There is absolutely no shame or intimidation in joining a weekly support group of others going through the same thing.

Fun! Look through the closet or garage to find those hobby items stashed away long ago and get busy having fun (and maybe profit).

Growth. Find a class in a subject that has always sounded interesting. Become an expert in it and then volunteer as a teacher at a community college.

Numerous Chapters

It’s easy to dwell on all our troubles, so easy! There is no benefit, however, in doing that. We have gone through what feels like the fires of hell and have come to this point in our lives. God has given us this chance to make things right once and for all. Why wouldn’t we?

We can hear Him if we listen for His voice. One of the best ways He “speaks” to us is through His life-changing book called the Holy Bible. It contains 66 books and numerous chapters and verses of instruction. It covers every single subject and topic about our lives that we can even think of!

A Christian Bible can be purchased in a Christian bookstore or even online at such sites as [click here:] Lifeway           

“Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord” (Psalm 119:1 NLT).

“Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word” (Psalm 119:37 NLT).

 

 

9 Ways to Make All Wrongs Right

Hate is never the answer to hate. History has proven this truth over and over. Yet there are those who still allow extreme, out-of-control emotions to fill themselves with hostility leading to violent attacks and aggression toward others. And, yes, sadly, loss of someone's life is almost always a part of it.     

“On a day like today, there are many directions we can go in our prayer...We can be in sorrow, in anger even...including anger at God for letting something like this happen." Instead, El Paso Rev Mike Lewis urged them [funeral attendees] to "have faith and to love one another, especially those who are hard to love.” (www.latimes.com)

Making Good Decisions Better

Let's be clear, though, and not get the wrong idea. In no way does God ever cause the hatred that can destroy others. Only pure evil lashing out with arms of fire can cause such violence.

“Scripture shows that God did not create evil and does not promote it; rather, it describes God’s actions in combating it. God limits the impact of evil, warns us of the dangers of evil, acts to stop the spread of evil, gives us an escape from evil, and will eventually defeat evil forever." [gotquestions.org] 

Something many people do not understand is the free will God willingly gives each one of us. He gave us that gift of free will because he loves us and wants us to make good decisions that will benefit our lives and those we love and that he cares about (which is everyone he has created). Never would God want us to use free will as part of a plan to kill others! 

Choices, Challenges, and Changes

How about our own choices and decisions since we became single-again women? It's understandable our own emotions were running high while dealing with all the challenges required to get to a better place in our lives. The shift in marital status alone may have caused a change of living arrangements, school (for both us and/or our children), new friends or a new job, and certainly finances. All stress-caused emotions. It certainly wasn’t easy looking in the mirror each morning at someone we didn’t even recognize. We've all been there in one way or another. We changed. We are still changing. Hopefully for the better.

However, it’s possible we are still not in a good place. Our lives are crawling very slowly, and they are not quite where we want them to be. We haven’t moved out of the anxiety phase and may even be heading towards depression. How many times have we pulled the covers over our heads in the morning? Pretended to exist solely on potato chips, cookies, and ice cream just because we couldn’t find the energy to cook a decent meal? It happens and is quite common but tolerated only to a certain degree. Eventually either we move or some outside force will move us. What we don’t want is watching our lives get buried in the mundane.  

Rather than ignoring all these unhealthy symptoms, it’s time to gain some momentum. We know we cannot change others around us (we’ve tried!), nor can they change us. We are the only ones who can do the changing and isn’t that a good thought? We finally get to create our lives exactly the way we want them. Something that may have held us back so far is thinking we need to re-create our old lives and we just don’t know where to begin. Frankly, that is the number one major stumbling block because our old life is gone. It's like trying to fix something without any workable parts. Our new life is here right now! And that is exciting because we are not going to re-create anything—we are going to start fresh.    

Get ready to have some fun! Here are nine ideas or suggestions that will set our feet in motion. Try one or all of them:

Choices – 

Adopt that new pet we’ve always wanted

Join a club (i.e., health, art, book) and make new friends

Pick a non-profit organization and volunteer

Challenges – 

Turn a hobby into a new business

Take a class in computer graphics, French, or cooking

Write a book (memoir, children’s, etc)

Changes – 

Move to a new neighborhood or state

Get a new hairdo, including color

Adopt a new nutrition plan and get healthier

It’s Simple: Love God and Love Others

Are we the one who can help lessen the impact of evil? Sounds difficult, but God obviously gave us the freedom of choice and gifts/talents to use. If we can find just one little way to show love to a neighbor or a stranger in need, it’s a start. We can decide to do our part. Will we?

“God has provided the one and only means to make all wrongs right.” Part of that plan is to accept Him as Lord and Savior and then help another to do the same before it's too late. “One day, God’s plan to defeat and destroy evil [sin] will be fully complete.” [gotquestions.org]

"The world's sin is unbelief in me" (John 16:9 NLT).