9 Ways to Make All Wrongs Right

Hate is never the answer to hate. History has proven this truth over and over. Yet there are those who still allow extreme, out-of-control emotions to fill themselves with hostility leading to violent attacks and aggression toward others. And, yes, sadly, loss of someone's life is almost always a part of it.     

“On a day like today, there are many directions we can go in our prayer...We can be in sorrow, in anger even...including anger at God for letting something like this happen." Instead, El Paso Rev Mike Lewis urged them [funeral attendees] to "have faith and to love one another, especially those who are hard to love.” (www.latimes.com)

Making Good Decisions Better

Let's be clear, though, and not get the wrong idea. In no way does God ever cause the hatred that can destroy others. Only pure evil lashing out with arms of fire can cause such violence.

“Scripture shows that God did not create evil and does not promote it; rather, it describes God’s actions in combating it. God limits the impact of evil, warns us of the dangers of evil, acts to stop the spread of evil, gives us an escape from evil, and will eventually defeat evil forever." [gotquestions.org] 

Something many people do not understand is the free will God willingly gives each one of us. He gave us that gift of free will because he loves us and wants us to make good decisions that will benefit our lives and those we love and that he cares about (which is everyone he has created). Never would God want us to use free will as part of a plan to kill others! 

Choices, Challenges, and Changes

How about our own choices and decisions since we became single-again women? It's understandable our own emotions were running high while dealing with all the challenges required to get to a better place in our lives. The shift in marital status alone may have caused a change of living arrangements, school (for both us and/or our children), new friends or a new job, and certainly finances. All stress-caused emotions. It certainly wasn’t easy looking in the mirror each morning at someone we didn’t even recognize. We've all been there in one way or another. We changed. We are still changing. Hopefully for the better.

However, it’s possible we are still not in a good place. Our lives are crawling very slowly, and they are not quite where we want them to be. We haven’t moved out of the anxiety phase and may even be heading towards depression. How many times have we pulled the covers over our heads in the morning? Pretended to exist solely on potato chips, cookies, and ice cream just because we couldn’t find the energy to cook a decent meal? It happens and is quite common but tolerated only to a certain degree. Eventually either we move or some outside force will move us. What we don’t want is watching our lives get buried in the mundane.  

Rather than ignoring all these unhealthy symptoms, it’s time to gain some momentum. We know we cannot change others around us (we’ve tried!), nor can they change us. We are the only ones who can do the changing and isn’t that a good thought? We finally get to create our lives exactly the way we want them. Something that may have held us back so far is thinking we need to re-create our old lives and we just don’t know where to begin. Frankly, that is the number one major stumbling block because our old life is gone. It's like trying to fix something without any workable parts. Our new life is here right now! And that is exciting because we are not going to re-create anything—we are going to start fresh.    

Get ready to have some fun! Here are nine ideas or suggestions that will set our feet in motion. Try one or all of them:

Choices – 

Adopt that new pet we’ve always wanted

Join a club (i.e., health, art, book) and make new friends

Pick a non-profit organization and volunteer

Challenges – 

Turn a hobby into a new business

Take a class in computer graphics, French, or cooking

Write a book (memoir, children’s, etc)

Changes – 

Move to a new neighborhood or state

Get a new hairdo, including color

Adopt a new nutrition plan and get healthier

It’s Simple: Love God and Love Others

Are we the one who can help lessen the impact of evil? Sounds difficult, but God obviously gave us the freedom of choice and gifts/talents to use. If we can find just one little way to show love to a neighbor or a stranger in need, it’s a start. We can decide to do our part. Will we?

“God has provided the one and only means to make all wrongs right.” Part of that plan is to accept Him as Lord and Savior and then help another to do the same before it's too late. “One day, God’s plan to defeat and destroy evil [sin] will be fully complete.” [gotquestions.org]

"The world's sin is unbelief in me" (John 16:9 NLT).

 

Do You Feel Out of Control?

Never stop learning

When we are children, our brains are like sponges! We soak up all the information we can get as fast as we can. In fact, it is known that ninety percent of our brain growth occurs by the age of five! Wow! [www.firstthingsfirst.org]

Therefore, it is so important to teach our young children and expose them to as much educational material and experiences as we can. It’s exceedingly difficult to spend a lot of time and attention on our kids when we are single-again parents. We all know this but if what we are teaching is presented in a fun and enjoyable way, our child will absorb and retain the lesson almost immediately for life. And so, we read bedtime stories, we play games with them, we apply numbers and the alphabet into their daily lives, we listen to them and so much more.

Prejudice by Instruction

The lessons we teach our children/grandchildren also include how to handle emotions that will carry them throughout their lives. It’s what we grow up with and in many cases, what kind of people we become. Feelings like happiness and joyfulness, kindness, warmth, friendliness, gratitude, patience, and, of course, love and on and on are created by our circumstances and relationships with others.

Unfortunately, these same situations can and do create unwanted feelings such as intenseness, judgements, prejudice, misunderstandings, not “seeing” the other person, and violence to name but a few. It’s a known fact that “young children learn about prejudice by instruction, and older children by experience.” [www.sciencedaily.com]

They go on to say, “Research has shown that between ages 3 and 6, children learn about and begin to apply stereotypes and can recognize overt discrimination…But between 6 and 10 years old, they become aware of other people's stereotypes, able to perceive subtle discrimination by age 10. We need to help create situations and environments that foster positive experiences among children from all backgrounds."

Is Change Possible?

Learn how to love!

What we have seen in our nation over the last two weeks is certainly appalling. No one wants to see or experience such horror again. The subject is deeper than we can cover or explain here, and we certainly are not the experts. Let us just say that if we want to see change—if we want our children to learn better--we must realize and accept there have been rights and wrongs on both sides of the protest line and begin there. We only need to read the history books to know discrimination, prejudice, and hatred have been in existence since time began. BUT, so have kindness, goodness, joy, and love! May we not allow this nightmare to continue. ALL people deserve a chance. We can do better! We can learn better!

Who Has the Last Word?

It seems as long as we can remember, when situations in our lives get out of control and we know nothing else to do, we turn around and blame the God of the Universe for everything that’s wrong in the world. It’s pretty common, but it’s about as incorrect as we can get.

There are two truths to consider: first, the God of the Universe is also the God of Creation. Nothing exists without Him. After He breathed life into the world, (heavens, earth, light (day), darkness (night), water, sky, land, seas, vegetation, stars, sea and land animals, and human beings) He had a wonderful plan.

Because God loved people, He created a real place for them called the Garden of Eden. It was His perfect and wonderful environment filled with all good things. This is how God wanted the world to exist forever…the perfect gift…with no room for anger or violent struggles.

The second truth for us to know is that human beings (mainly Adam and Eve) quite frankly, messed everything up. They disobeyed God and sinned against Him. The Garden of Eden was no longer the perfect place. They had children, Cain and Abel, who also sinned. And on and on and on…

Humans were out of control. God was not. We cannot blame our problems and actions on Him. Why? Because He is the God of Love. That’s all He wants for us. Love. He’s our perfect example. We have misplaced the blame.

Let’s turn around and try harder. It will be worth it.

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT).

“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT).

[We challenge you to read all 13 verses of 1 Corinthians 13].

Feeling Stuck? This One Thing Will Fix It

Library of Learning

Some of us, if not most, have taken a college class of some sort—either for a four-year degree, just for a semester, or a night course. Maybe we have attended a seminar or two for our employers. Or, more popular in this electronic age, perhaps a podcast (a series of digital audio or video episodes) was more easily accessed to study a subject.

Whichever method we chose to “enlighten” our viewpoint and learn something new, sometimes it became more than we expected. More involvement was required (homework anyone?). Interactions with other participants working in teams seemed to slow us down or bore us. We quickly lost interest. Our brain did not comprehend our part in the process and therefore, the knowledge never had a chance to grow. We got stuck!

One Thing to Get Us Unstuck 

It’s happened to all of us at one time or another. Nothing to feel bad or guilty about though. We simply didn’t check all the requirements of the course and ended up taking the class or seminar just because our best friend was doing it or because it sounded like the popular thing to do. That’s how it usually presents itself. And it’s always a bad idea!

The better choice is to find out what we truly like to do—and are good at--and stick with that idea even if no one else understands us. It's the one thing that will get us unstuck! Even if others try to distract us or persuade us not to go that way, we know deep down inside what we want out of life. If not, then we can expect to feel less than fulfilled, frustrated, and ready to quit before the search has done us any good. 

Grow deep in good soil

Listen, that is not us! We are stronger than we think, but we won’t really know until we go after what we were made for in the first place. After all, who got us safely here at this surprising point in life anyway? Let’s take a moment and be perfectly clear and honest. God did not orchestrate our divorce as many may think. In fact, He said, “For I hate divorce!” [Malachi 2:16]. But, He was right there beside us anyway holding our right hand and helping us to stand on our own two feet when we could do nothing else. Saving us from permanent harm. He was the One who kindly brought us to this point because He still has a plan and purpose for each of us, even now!

          

Teacher of Love

So, let that “lesson” sink deep into our brains so we won’t forget it. God has a message: He loves you—even as a single-again woman! He loves me! He loves each one of us! He can do nothing else because He is the very definition of love. Where we come into this plan, is to simply “signup” for His “class” on life and stick with it. He has been keeping that “syllabus” (our purpose) safely in His hand until we were able to accept His message. This is your perfect time. And your choice.

“This is what the story means: The seed is God’s message. . .The seed that fell on the rock is like those who hear God’s teaching and accept it gladly, but they don’t allow the teaching to go deep into their lives. They believe for a while, but when trouble comes, they give up” (Luke 8:11; 13 NCV).