Can You See Through the Fog of Change?

We may ask, is my life ever going to be right again? Aside from the pandemic, which is catastrophic enough, how are we supposed to get back to normal--whatever that is--after such a devastating and heart-breaking ending to our marriage? Certainly, it would be much easier to just throw up our hands and scream, it is never going to be the same again, so why try?

It does appear that way when we cannot see past the fog of change. We naturally resist transformation in any form, whether it is good for our hearts, minds, and souls or not. But here is the stinging question: do we really want the same unloving relationship? The one with no affection? The one that lost its electrifying connection? No, of course not. We would like to have the charming person we first met. But not the morphed version that came later. Never that!

Building a Better Life

Then, the sun comes out and we see the light! Every single person on the face of this earth shifts and shuffles from day to day. Minute by minute. Inch by inch. The irony lies in the fact, we cannot change each other. Ever. Practice saying that out loud! We can only change ourselves and our response to that person.

Each individual has to look in the mirror and say, I have a problem, and I need to fix it. Until that happens, no improvement can be expected. It is like banging our heads against a brick wall. Useless.

Our initial impulse is to take those bricks...and throw them? No! We did not say that now did we. Those bricks are useful for building a better life, not for re-arranging someone’s skull! That is the best life for us at this particular time and place. What that architecture looks like will be different for each one of us.

• Some of us will seek and share a new, mature relationship with all the perks.
• Some will plant a seed and grow on an individual level first.
• Some will find that outlets for creative expression in education, work, and extracurricular activities are more important to them at the moment.

There are no incorrect blueprints here. Only that we never let the momentum stop!

Who Can We Talk to About Our Life?

It is as if God is saying with outstretched arms, Fear not, dear child of mine, I am here. If you only let me, you will see how this will all work out. Let us sit down and talk. Can’t we just see and hear Him saying that to us?

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen” (Jeremiah 29:11-12 The Message).

 

 

How to Pick Yourself Up Off the Floor

In a churchyard in Wales (United Kingdom), there are the words, “Here lieth the body of William Edwards of Cacreg, who departed this life 24th February, Anno Domini 1668, age one hundred and sixty-eight.” This man must surely have had a secret that the rest of us do not know about living and dying!

Many people do, in fact, want to live for an exceptionally long time, but maybe not that long! Some of us would simply enjoy having a life where we had enough time to accomplish everything on our “bucket list.”

[Just for fun, CLICK on the following message from our archives]

Momentum Bucket List

The Next 50

Truly, no one would likely want to spend the rest of their life working at their jobs or professions much past retirement age. Of course, that number varies widely. Some retire early, excited to begin their next great adventure. And some stick with working until someone or something pushes them out the door. There may also be a valid financial need that keeps us there. In whatever way we handle our later years, it will depend on what we did or did not do with the first 50 years.

One thing to realize right away is that it is never too late for an adjustment, no matter which decade we live in right now. There are numerous books available that explain that very fact. Especially in our single-again lifestyle, we may absolutely need to find a different way to do things. We are not alone. Just think of all the many, many people during this Covid-19 pandemic that have gone through devastations of all kinds and have had to start over.

Losing jobs through layoffs, bankruptcies, house fires, weather catastrophes, and illnesses are just some of the many examples of having to pick ourselves up off the floor and begin again. We are reminded of the familiar thought of “getting back on the horse” after falling off. Somewhere down deep inside ourselves, there is a reservoir that has been left untapped for this exact season of our life.

When we try, really try, and do not give up, we will find new ways to do things, resources we did not know we had, friends who will come through for us, help from all directions, and a sense of peace at the bottom of that well. The key to all this is not just sitting back and having a pity party, but standing on our own two feet, dusting off our behinds, and putting that foot right back in the stirrup. When others see this in us, they will want to join our “party.”

This is No Fantasy

Nothing is more attractive than succeeding when life wants to knock us down like falling fence posts. Soon, we will not even remember what “disaster” feels like. We will be too busy organizing and arranging our lives just the way we have dreamed they could and should be. It is true! This is not a fantasy; it is our life. We do not have time to ignore the possibilities waiting for us. One absolute fact: no one else will work and create a new life for us, but they will want to jump in and be a part of it.

Once we are on our way and can relax, then we can help others going through exactly what we did. Sometimes that is the reason why God gives us these challenges. He expects us to use the experience and knowledge we have developed to help our neighbors. They are valuable commodities to share. We can use our gifts and talents to find a unique way to walk alongside another woman. From quite simple ideas of encouragement, we can make someone’s life turn around for good.

“Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it” (Psalm 34:12, 14 NLT). 

Replacing Distraction for Creativity

Van Gogh, Monet, and Da Vinci are in the Top 10 Classics of Artists. Among the Top 10 Modern Masters of Art, we find O’Keeffe, Kandinsky, and Picasso. And the list goes on. Sometimes it took years for these artists to complete a masterpiece after many failed attempts. Some artists were not even known until after they died.

We all have some type of creativity, as that is how human beings were created. We may not hold a paintbrush in our hands and sit at an easel, but there is something in our lives we are good at creating. It could be the flute we played in the marching band in high school or the ballet shoes hanging in the closet for years.

Our creativity may not lie in the arts at all. It might be how exactly we are at calculating sales projections, how we naturally lead the group in the PTA meetings, our knack for baking bread, or hosting a grand opening at the local museum. Any number of activities can fulfill our gift of creativity.

Your Beating Heart

We can know we are gifted in certain areas when we anxiously wait until we get to do it again. It comes easy to us and we delight in the pure joy of it. Our artistic gift fills our thinking, and we employ feedback from friends to learn even more. We happily make continual plans for it all the time. We read and research the subject and strive to improve our skills. It is our purpose!

Some of us have a purpose that has remained dormant for years. We either haven’t taken the time to discover what it is, or we put only a half-hearted try into developing our gift. Just because we got distracted with other things for years, does not mean we don’t have any creativity.

Isn’t It Time?

Today is perfect for dusting off the ideas we have stored in the back of our minds. Most likely, we already know what we want and can do with the rest of our lives. But maybe it’s a little hazy and we need to be pointed in the right direction. If that seems reasonable, try these resources:

Books

What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard N. Bolles

A Compendium for Conscious Creators by Orna Ross

Discovering Joy in Your Creativity by Women of Faith

Websites (click on link)

Pinterest

Creativity for Women

Creativity and Divorce

What an Artist!

Of all living things God breathed life into, humans are His masterpieces. YOU are His masterpiece and there is no one else like you! None. You are the original and there are no copies. He takes delight in that fact.

God has a reason for creating you. A purpose just for you to do good, so others will learn from you who He is and praise Him as the One true God. That’s a big assignment, but God already knew you could do it in your own special, unique way. No one else can do it just exactly like you!

The Bible says, “In the beginning God created. . .” He is the One and Only Creator of all and has always created from the beginning of time and is still creating new life every day. He never stops and He never makes a mistake. What an artist He is! To discover your best life, get to know this Master of All.  

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).

 

Spring Days and Easter Surprises

It is true, many people in the United States (and elsewhere in some parts of the world) are still digging out of the snow. Winter weather is hanging on! Regardless, the celebration of Easter is apparent in the stores. Children, especially, look forward to it with giggles and happiness. Bunnies and chicks start multiplying! Many of us like to decorate our homes with bouquets and lawn signs that read, “Life is beautiful!” And there is nothing wrong with any of this; except, Easter often gets mixed up with Spring.   

A World Gone Crazy

Whereas Spring marks a certain number of days on the calendar ushering in gentle and beautiful weather with flowers and plants bursting forth, Easter typically is a three-day celebration each year of the events that concluded the life of Jesus Christ on earth and his entry into heaven. Fundamentally, it is all about forgiveness which is difficult to understand in any world.   

This month in America, we have witnessed the prejudice, ignorance, and hatred causing eight people in one incident and ten people in another incident to die needlessly for no apparent reason. After occurrences like these, we all are left with our own thoughts to deal with such hostility.

“According to an excerpt of the book Why Forgive? in Plough Quarterly, Steven McDonald was a young police officer in 1986 when he was shot by a teenager in New York’s Central Park, an incident that left him paralyzed. “I forgave [the shooter] because I believe the only thing worse than receiving a bullet in my spine would have been to nurture revenge in my heart,” McDonald wrote. While the younger man was serving his prison sentence, McDonald corresponded with him, hoping that one day the two could work together to demonstrate forgiveness and nonviolence. Unfortunately, the young man died in a motorcycle accident three days after his release; but McDonald still travels the country to deliver his message.” [as told in Reader’s Digest, www.rd.com]

How many of us could bring ourselves to have such compassion in a world gone crazy? The officer obviously reached deep down inside himself and found kindness and love to be his answer. Rather than continuing the hatred or blaming himself for the incident (which is quite common), forgiveness was the only way to heal.

It is not such a surprise that, most likely, this victim was following his faith. Surely, there were many prayers for wisdom involved first. And do not think this was just a casual or easy decision. It could not have been considering the physical recovery he must have had to go through for a long time.

Like all of us who know the God of Grace [undeserved favor], these tragedies help us to understand the unimaginable Easter sacrifice on a cross simply to forgive us of our own sins. We all received this same mercy and forgiveness when we asked Jesus to be our personal Savior and Redeemer.

Jesus showed immense love and kindness and willingly removed our guilt forever! If you have not asked Jesus into your life as your Lord and Savior, you can do that today. Read the true story below and then just ask for mercy and forgiveness in your own words. God will hear you!     

The True Easter Story

As they led Jesus away, a man named Simon, who was from Cyrene, happened to be coming in from the countryside. The soldiers seized him and laid the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. A large crowd trailed behind, including many grief-stricken women.

Two others, both criminals, had already been led out to be executed alongside Jesus, the only innocent One. When they came to a place called The Skull [Golgotha], they nailed him to a cross. And the criminals were also crucified—one on his right and one on his left.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive these people, because they don't know what they are doing."

Then he [one of the criminals] said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Then he [Joseph of Arimathea] took the body of Jesus down from the cross and wrapped it in a long sheet of linen cloth and laid it in a new tomb that had been carved out of a rock. This was done late on Friday afternoon, the day of preparation for the Sabbath [Saturday].

But very early on [Easter] Sunday morning the women came to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. They found that the stone covering the entrance had been rolled aside. So they went in, but they couldn't find the body of the Lord Jesus.

The women were terrified and bowed low before them [two men]. Then the men [angels] asked, “Why are you looking in a tomb for someone who is alive? He isn’t here! He has risen from the dead!"

And just as they [the disciples] were telling about it, Jesus himself was suddenly standing there among them. “Peace be with you,” he said. But the whole group was startled and frightened, thinking they were seeing a ghost!

And he [Jesus] said, “Yes, it was written long ago that the Messiah would suffer and die and rise from the dead on the third day."

Then Jesus led them to Bethany, and lifting his hands to heaven, he blessed them. While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up to heaven.

The Easter story is an excerpt from the Holy Bible, Luke 23 and 24 (NLT) [emphasis added].

"But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too" (Mark 11:25 NLT).

 

 

Get Ready for SPRING!

 

SPRING is on the way this week!

FRESH START MOMENTUM 

is joining you for Spring Break!

We will return on March 29th

for Easter week! 

Join us then! 

How Can We Create a Better World for Ourselves and Others?

We all know toddlers say the funniest things. “My one wish is: for it to rain tacos” (author unknown/Huff Post). Now that would be a great surprise even for adults!

Or maybe this one: “C’mon, Elsa! Get it together!” My almost-three-year-old said this to her doll who kept falling over” (Masey Cossey/Huff Post). We can relate.

It is a lifelong problem that starts way back when we were toddlers. What is that problem? Trying to learn how to control our impulses, especially when we get angry at someone and suddenly want revenge. These urges seem to have taken over our world recently with more and more protests, violence, and uncontrolled anger. Wanting our own way all the time with no compromise. Sadly, we are witnessing adults acting more like toddlers.

This type of “eye for an eye” behavior can even spill over into our everyday lives and may have affected the former situation that got us to where we are today. But that was the past and there is no more condemnation here to address for any of us. We have successfully made it this far and we cheer on each strong woman in our midst.  

“An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.” (Mahatma Gandhi, Indian lawyer and anti-colonial nationalist who employed non-violence).

How Do We See More Clearly?

What great insight! We have never heard it put that way, but we could adopt this motto to create a better world for ourselves and those around us. Wouldn’t it be something wonderful if we could help ourselves and others to see more clearly? To look at solutions with an attitude of inclusion instead of excluding people from our little world.

How do we do this? Great question but the answer(s) may not be easy. In fact, it is difficult to even begin to think of how to change things as they are right now. It is going to take a while, but we must begin somewhere if we want to see change. We believe remedies could be different for each of us depending on where we live and who we come in touch with on a daily basis.

There are no quick fixes. Maybe open a notebook or journal and start just jotting down problems we see in our own neighborhoods. How do we see it could be better? List questions that come up to solve as we go along. It does not have to be anything massively complicated. If we are looking for something a little easier to start this process, that can be done.

• Keep our eyes open at the grocery store for anyone who needs help.  
• Go out of our way to say Hello! to someone we have never met.
• Be friendly and smile at the drug store clerk.
• Offer to find boxes for someone moving and include a roll of tape.
• Do something good for someone we dislike.

We get the idea. There are a million little things we can do. Each week make a list that is a tiny bit more challenging and before we know it, we will forget about ourselves and be more open to and for others. Just ask, how many people in my own neighborhood do I actually know or talk to?

For All of Eternity

One more important thing to think about: if we already know Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we can be assured we are going to heaven one day. And all those people we have avoided in our everyday lives, who also know Jesus, will be in heaven with us for all of eternity! It would be best if we begin now and start loving others no matter their race, color, or which side of town they live on. True?

“Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? . . .No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously” (Matthew 5:38, 42 The Message).

 

How to Get Back on Track and Love Life

If it has been a long time since bowling was a favorite Friday night league sport, we can relate. Our bowling ball, however, is probably somewhere in the back of the closet collecting dust. “One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.” (Don Carter/golftrainingand practicegear.com)

We started thinking about how life is like throwing a bowling ball: it often falls into the gutter and needs someone to get it out and onto the right path. That was always one frustrating drawback about bowling. And our lives may feel that way too at times. We just need some help getting back on track and pointed in the right direction!

Confidence and Feeling Good

Now that we are single-again and mostly on our own, it is going to take lots of practice and trial and error before we are good at it. Anyone great at any creative dream spends many days and even years learning what will work best for them. It is not just automatic, and we should not expect instant success.

“I’ll have you know I threw a gutter ball and I only cried for twenty minutes.” (SpongeBob character/pinterest.com)

Sometimes, it is to our advantage to seek ideas, suggestions, and guidance from those professionals who specialize in our situations. If not in person, then at the very least, we need to visit the library and start reading about how to navigate our new lives. There are so many books on the topic it will take a while to get to the bottom of whatever is holding us back from moving forward. But we can do it!

This kind of effort will give us plenty of confidence and a “feel-good” approach to our life. We will find out how to turn a depressed state of mind into a more optimistic way of living. We’ll find ourselves smiling more. People will begin looking at us and wonder how in the world we are handling things with such a wonderful attitude.

Admittedly, we will all need a little boost once in a while. We are not saying that life is going to suddenly grow perfect roses and we will never need any instruction again. Unfortunately, life just isn’t that simple, and we don’t want to lead anyone down the fantasy of a “yellow brick road.”

We would rather get more real and suggest three views to start us off on the right path. Any of these can be adjusted, added to, ignored, or deleted. It’s up to each of us what to do. But one thing we sincerely hope no one does is simply do nothing.

• Find one of these books (or similar) to start:

Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Your Heart After Divorce (Tracie Miles)

Living and Loving After Betrayal (Steven Stosny Ph.D.)

• Speaking about roses:

Plant one or two rose bushes in celebration of a new life.

• Take a day trip (check with local college) and make it an adventure with a friend.

Best Told Stories

Our best reference is the Holy Bible. For some reason, there are those women in the world right now who have a false belief that God does not care for females. But that is a total lie and is supported by those who have not read the Bible at all.

Of course, God created males and females for a reason, and he delights in both. Some of the best stories are about those courageous women of the Bible whom God loved. We suggest picking up a copy of the Bible (or purchasing one online) and look up these names: Esther, Deborah, Ruth, Naomi, Mary (mother of Jesus), Rachel, and Mary Magdalene among hundreds of others.

Try completing this sentence with your name: God has always loved _____.

“Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life” (Proverbs 4:13 NIV).