Can You See Through the Fog of Change?

We may ask, is my life ever going to be right again? Aside from the pandemic, which is catastrophic enough, how are we supposed to get back to normal--whatever that is--after such a devastating and heart-breaking ending to our marriage? Certainly, it would be much easier to just throw up our hands and scream, it is never going to be the same again, so why try?

It does appear that way when we cannot see past the fog of change. We naturally resist transformation in any form, whether it is good for our hearts, minds, and souls or not. But here is the stinging question: do we really want the same unloving relationship? The one with no affection? The one that lost its electrifying connection? No, of course not. We would like to have the charming person we first met. But not the morphed version that came later. Never that!

Building a Better Life

Then, the sun comes out and we see the light! Every single person on the face of this earth shifts and shuffles from day to day. Minute by minute. Inch by inch. The irony lies in the fact, we cannot change each other. Ever. Practice saying that out loud! We can only change ourselves and our response to that person.

Each individual has to look in the mirror and say, I have a problem, and I need to fix it. Until that happens, no improvement can be expected. It is like banging our heads against a brick wall. Useless.

Our initial impulse is to take those bricks...and throw them? No! We did not say that now did we. Those bricks are useful for building a better life, not for re-arranging someone’s skull! That is the best life for us at this particular time and place. What that architecture looks like will be different for each one of us.

• Some of us will seek and share a new, mature relationship with all the perks.
• Some will plant a seed and grow on an individual level first.
• Some will find that outlets for creative expression in education, work, and extracurricular activities are more important to them at the moment.

There are no incorrect blueprints here. Only that we never let the momentum stop!

Who Can We Talk to About Our Life?

It is as if God is saying with outstretched arms, Fear not, dear child of mine, I am here. If you only let me, you will see how this will all work out. Let us sit down and talk. Can’t we just see and hear Him saying that to us?

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen” (Jeremiah 29:11-12 The Message).