Passion Gone Wrong

Misplaced Passion

There are many, many true stories of revenge--both in long-ago history and in modern times. Maybe even someone close in our own lives has gone through this dark wrong-doing. Think about these two examples of extreme revenge the next time you are experiencing a sense of pay-back. 

Princess Olga of Kiev (capital of Ukraine) experienced and acted upon an act of revenge. She was married to the country's ruler but her husband was killed. The culture she lived in considered her an unwed woman--apparently not worth much. So she was expected to choose a proper mate and had many prospects. But she only wanted revenge for the killing of her husband, not another marriage. To make a long story short, Olga had her many suitors (who wouldn't leave her alone) buried alive! An extreme case of passion gone wrong. (www.unbelievable-facts.com)

Centuries later during the American Civil War a slave named Alec--who didn't invite or enjoy revenge of any kind into his life--found himself in a difficult situation he couldn't avoid, or so he thought [note: we always have a choice]. It's a very long story so we won't try to repeat it. The point is, after the War, this former slave personally shot and killed his former owner. Alec then moved to the northeast United States and bought a 100-acre farm ironically named "Journey's End." He spent the next 50 years of his life alone on his farm. Was it worth it? (Check www.cracked.com for details). 

These are gruesome and extraordinary stories, but we needed to have a jump-off point to see what revenge can really do to us if we are not careful. In our modern day, this is what drives numerous dramas on TV and the movies. What are we to do with those kinds of personal thoughts after we are finally on our own? 

First Reactions: Passion Gone Wrong
We aren't alone. It's pretty common right after we go through the mess of ending an abusive relationship, that our first irrational, emotional reaction may be to get even. With him. With the other woman. With family. With friends. With everyone! But thankfully, it usually turns out to be a knee-jerk reaction. Couldn't we recognize that we have gone through enough drama in our lives and it's time to stop wasting energy and move on to better things? 

We are not saying it is never right to express displeasure or even anger in our lives. That's what "happily ever after" fairy tales are made of. Just too sweet! But being so furious with someone that it causes us to turn into a "monster of revenge" is better left in Hollywood. Consenting to angry outbursts towards others continually wears us down inch by inch. It really solves nothing, but only creates more and more problems down the road and turns us into bitter, unreasonable, pathetic women no one wants to be around.  

A Life Well-Lived

Focus on tying up the loose ends

Our focus right now is better served re-building a new and bright life for ourselves (and children if they are in the picture). We have the opportunity to do this now without someone else pushing and demanding us to be someone we are not. In fact, it can be quite exciting planning a whole new direction to go. If you are constantly distracted by other destructive thoughts, begin a daily journal of what you want your life to look like in the future and have fun making plans. Everyone will wonder where that beautiful smile of yours comes from! 

His Smile Upon You
Our Creator and Father in heaven (unlike any father we have ever known on earth) is always ready to help us with all these run-away emotions. God knows we are human and therefore, we need His hand guiding us to love our neighbor as ourselves. The Bible tells us we can have love, joy, peace, and patience among other wonderful characteristics to get us through this life--if we really want them. Then the really Good News follows in heaven with Him forever!

"Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it" (Romans 12:17-19 The Message). 

Any Drama in Your Family Lately?

Today, Fresh Start Momentum continues with a SUMMER SISTER SERIES highlighting the lives of some famous and amazing women who might just encourage us in our struggles. True stories that can give us insights for our lives in the 21st Century and how all women--married or not--have always been important throughout history. Join us each Monday for the next three weeks as we showcase our "sisters."

Fierce Devotion

Mothers are sometimes fiercely devoted to their children. It is not unusual for moms to give up and sacrifice for them to make sure they have want they need or are entitled to receiving. It truly brings anguish to a mom to see her child in want. If she can do anything at all for the child, she will do it. This has happened since the beginning of time. It appears God created moms with a certain little gene no one else has that is activated when her child is born. It can not be ignored when it comes to her child. A woman named Rebekah had this trait as well.

Love Begins

At the request of Abraham, Rebekah had been brought from another land to marry his son, Isaac. Rebekah was known as a courteous and kind woman. She also “was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her.” Rebekah had no problem traveling to become someone’s wife. In those days, arranged marriages were common and considered fortunate.

Often, the woman was given expensive gifts such as the “gold nose ring weighing a beka [⅕ oz] and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels [one shekel weighs ⅖ oz]” given to Rebekah. Upon returning to Canaan, she immediately married Isaac, but remained without children for twenty years!

Isaac believed in the Lord and in prayer. He remained in continual prayer until the Lord blessed him and Rebekah with twin sons, Jacob and Esau. From the very beginning (even in the womb), the two brothers were constantly fighting each other. Surely, this caused great distress for their parents. And it changed everyone involved.      

Love Hurts

In most families, playing favorites with one child over another can result in severe discord among, not only the siblings but between the mom and dad. At times it can get way out of hand as lying, dishonesty, malice, and hatred (to name but a few habits) causes irreparable damage in the family. Parents that started out loving all their children with delight and pride turns into an entirely different home when one child is shut out of love and affection.

There are no perfect parents, just as there are no perfect children. Agree? Esau became the favorite child of Isaac. Jacob became Rebekah’s favorite. Husband against wife. Brother against brother. The worse relationships there couldn’t be. Even in today’s world, this is still happening.

Rebekah overheard her husband promising Esau his inheritance. She wanted that for Jacob and convinced Jacob to deceive his father into giving him Esau’s birthright. Jacob didn’t believe it would work, but Rebekah said if it did not, “My son, let the curse fall on me. Just go and do what I say. . .” And so he did. Esau was shut out of his blessing. When he found out, Esau planned on killing Jacob over the swindling.

And the world spins on and on and on. Where will the drama stop? What can we as mothers do to end the strife in our own families? It is up to us to maintain loving relationships with each of our children, even in a single parent home. No one said it would be easy. But it can be done.

"Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her. . ." Genesis 24:67 NIV.

[The entire story of Rebekah can be found in Genesis 24-27; 49:31].