How to Make the Next Chapter of Our Lives Better

Living in Montana while in high school, there were many school days that were so frigid outdoor temperatures were reported at negative fifty-two degrees! There just was not enough clothing to put on to stay warm. People native to Montana somewhat expect such cold weather.  

But this winter, it seems the news of horrific weather has dropped into Texas of all places. “Snow fell in east Texas, with wind chills reaching minus sixteen degrees Fahrenheit in Dallas. At least parts of all 254 counties in Texas were under either a winter storm watch or a winter storm warning…2.6 million people in Texas were experiencing power blackouts.” [Yuliya Talmazan, NBC News, 2/15/2021]

Not all of us live in such ultra-cold places, however, everyone lives in a state where some kind of extreme weather occurs during the course of a year. If it is not cold, it is heat as in 134 degrees air temperature in Greenland Ranch, CA, more than a century ago (renamed Furnace Creek, rightly so, where the highest recorded ground surface temperature on Earth was recorded at 201 degrees in 1972!). The somewhat “cooler” 128 degrees was recorded in Lake Havasu City, AZ, in 1994. [World Almanac 2021, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.; and National Geographic Concise Atlas of the World, Fourth Edition, 2016].

Our Response Matters

Living a contented life can be challenging if we do not resist complaining all the time. What exactly will frustrate our plans in life is a guessing game. Weather, location, travel, jobs, schools, friends, and sometimes family are all contenders. Annoyances, aggravations, and even anger can cause many of us to want to scream.

For the most part, we cannot effectively influence what other people do, but we can control our response and how we feel. In a world that tends to speed through every twenty-four-hour period rarely stopping for a pause like a Nascar racer trying to break the track record, burnout is usually the result. Many a professional athlete “retires” from his/her sport before reaching the age of 40!

Of course, when we are young (and sometimes reckless or foolish), we wrongly believe (a) we will live forever and (b) no harm will ever slow us down. One of these choices is certainly not ever true and the other choice is, well, perhaps somewhat true if we are fortunate.

Each decade of our lives brings us closer to realizing we are--“oh, my stars” --speeding, just like the racecar driver, to our final performance! We suddenly embrace a great need to accomplish things we never got around to doing. We guess that is where the idea of a “bucket list” first came about in the world (or it could have been the two men who encouraged us in the 2007 movie, The Bucket List).

Sheer Determination

We are not trying to say every woman has missed meeting her goals or is lacking in any sort of professional arena. On the contrary, we undoubtedly notice, rarely do we ever sit down or sit still no matter what season of life we are navigating. It takes a great bit of energy, stamina, and sheer determination to juggle more than one job at a time just to pay the bills, go to night school, or raise a family of four or five by ourselves.

These types of situations may have held us back for the time being, but women are notorious for never giving up! Why else would one of us walk into a college freshman biology class at age twenty-four just to get a degree before age thirty? Or spend an entire day in the college library?

We know that we know that we know it can be done! Most of the heartaches, headaches, and hindrances we already experienced were all part of building a life of endurance and superb character so we could make the next chapter of our lives even better. We have not missed anything. We are right where we are supposed to be today. So, let’s go for it!

Our Plan and Purpose is Waiting

We were created with much love by the one and only true God who created the entire Universe. He knows what we know, and He knows what we do not yet know. This is why He is smiling down on us and is thrilled to see us not giving up because He has a certain plan and purpose for us that we have not achieved.

We can surely talk to Him daily and let Him know how grateful we are that He is our caring and loving heavenly Father and our Guide for life.

“As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night” (Genesis 8:22 NLT).

 

How to Listen to That Little Voice Inside

Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.

–Carl Bard aka Carl Sandburg (American writer and editor)

Nearly all of us will not soon forget the name Amanda Gorman from this day forward because she was the star of the show just a few days ago as she read with absolute perfect diction her beautiful and touching poem for the Inauguration. Only twenty-two years old and she had the courage to tackle a dream of hers and present it to the world! We will surely hear and see more of her again. Amazing!

Sure, we may not be shaping our twenties or even thirties any longer, but whether we admit it or not, every single one of us has a dream (or two) we want to fulfill. A dream we have not had the time or courage to study. It is that little voice deep inside our thoughts that has been nagging us since we were born. We really want to make it a part of us because we fundamentally know—we have always known--it is an element of our personality. So, what is holding us back?

Seven Starters for Our List

Many issues, incidents, circumstances, and even ourselves (lack of confidence, procrastination, etc.), have derailed and prevented us from seeking our best path. Of course, life itself may very well have gotten in the way. It is certainly a full-time job, for instance, raising a family and an honorable one at that. Hats off to every one of us! As single-again women, we can recognize that along the way, there were unavoidable difficulties, dilemmas, and drawbacks. Whew! But we made it!

Since we cannot actually “go back” and reproduce our life, we agree with Carl Bard that the best place to begin is now! Forget the “age” number—it is a non-issue at this point. Twenty-two-year-olds are not the only poets out there. We have plenty of reasons to get back on track especially if we have not ever attempted to fulfill that dream of ours.

There are at least seven steps to adopt and get started on the path to “now.” Some of these may be familiar and already a part of our plans, so stay with us and see how far they can take us. Pick and choose what works for you. It is not required to do all of these! Also, feel free to add your own ideas as we go along.

1. Some people enjoy creating a “vision” board. It is a visible picture that can serve as daily encouragement. Use poster board or similar and start pasting photos that have been cut out of magazines relating to your dream.
2. Journaling is another way to get those creative thoughts out of our brains and onto concrete possibilities. It easily becomes addictive and feels like we are on the right path.
3. Research the subject of your dream on-line or at a library (if one is open during this pandemic). Find out what it will take to get started. Or go on Amazon for a book to keep as a reference (see Resources below).
4. Once the subject is settled in our brain, it is extremely helpful to subscribe to an actual print copy (our favorite) or at the very least, a You-Tube channel about the subject.         
5. If there is one available, sign-up for a class to learn as much as possible about the subject, and meet others doing the same. We all need a type of support group for encouragement.
6. 
   This is important: take care of yourself in the process! Find just one little way a week to improve on physical “movement.” Notice we did not say, exercise. That is a word that will stop us in our tracks. Any kind of movement (making the bed, gardening, walking indoors or outdoors, using stairs, etc) will keep our brains from getting old before their time (look it up, it is proven)!     
7. Resources. Start building your own personal library. Try these books for starters:

• What Color is Your Parachute? (2021 by Richard N. Bolles)
• Do What You Are (Paul D. Tieger)
• Repurpose Your Career: A Practical Guide for the 2^nd Half of Life (Marc Miller)

 Are We on the Right Path?

Now that we are on our way and have a starting point, let us not allow anyone to stop us. We have already been there, done that! What we need, instead, is a good guide just like many travelers consult when they begin a long and complicated journey.

The one guide who is readily available 24/7 is the same God who created the entire Universe—the sun, moon, rainbows, planets, and every single star that he loved so much he gave each of them a name! He is the ONE who knows us inside and out. He gave us a purpose for a purpose and is thrilled we want to begin right now!

How could he not be our perfect guide?

The Lord is good and does what is right; he shows the proper path to those who go astray (Psalm 25:8 NLT).

For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and he will guide us until we die (Psalm 48:14 NLT).

 

How Aggravating is Your Struggle?

Resistance Stretch

 It's quite a relief when we are able to move on with our lives to a new chapter after so much sadness, grief, and turmoil. It's like being held back with a giant rubber band (think of those rubber resistance bands people use at the gym to work out) and suddenly it snaps and we are hurdled forward.

No matter how we got to where we are right now, we can definitely celebrate that we made it! Our strength and determination have led us into a far better environment where we can create something new. It's a wonderful feeling! 

The Struggle is Real
Have you ever tried to survive and raise a family on the salary of a receptionist? Many of us have, including Indra Nooyi, an Indian-American citizen. But she didn't let that stop her. After receiving schooling in India, she moved to New York with little money to continue her studies, but working as a receptionist, she was finally admitted to Yale School of Management. It was difficult, but eventually, Indra received her Master's Degree in Public and Private Management.

Struggles Are Real

The key? Indra never gave up! And that determination soon found her in 1994 as the CEO of PepsiCo where she served until 2018. During her time there, sales grew 80 percent! She also currently serves on the board of Amazon. No one can keep this woman down!    


We, too, need to hang onto those days that we fought to claim as our own! Yet, still, remember we don't live in fantasy land. As long as we are alive, we will have struggles in this life. We all understand things don't always go perfectly as we planned. The difference is that now we know we have the will to make it through whatever troubles come our way. We might even say, we have a "Masters' Degree" in Endurance. 

We may, in fact, still be working on getting settled into the best creative job for us, working on a degree, perhaps finding a new place to live, or searching for the most amazing childcare. And, of course, keeping in touch with encouraging friends and even developing new friendships. Those are all struggles but can be enjoyable if we allow that to happen.     

Faith and Hope  
So where can we turn on those days when we rather just run away? You may find this solution surprising, but the simple answer is "Stand still and stay calm." Take a breath. Most likely, we need a break at that point because fear always grabs hold of us when we are just an inch away from success!

Fear comes from our (spiritual) Enemy who wants nothing else but to destroy anything we are trying to create. So we say we should stand still and stay calm because God has a plan. He Himself will actually fight for us if we ask for His assistance. Then, we wait for God's direction for our next successful step.    
  
"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm" (Exodus 14:14 NLT).

Have You Reached the Mountaintop?

Decades travel at the speed of a “don’t blink, you’ll miss it” kind of rush. When we were teens or young adults, we thought we would never, ever see the time when we were called “senior citizens.” But, sure enough, every single one of us arrive blinking our eyes in surprise and wonder! Of course, when we finally do get to our mountaintop, our minds play tricks on us and we still think we are twenty years younger than reality.

For Such a Time

Every season of our lives has its pros and cons. In our college years, life started happening all at once. Joyfully or not, we were separating from our parents and envisioning a lifetime of great success, the “I can’t live without you” type of perfect relationships, and happily doing things our way.

Between our 30s and 40s, life started revealing its true nature. Things were different than we originally imagined, but still manageable. Our energies slowed a bit, and then took off again, as we adjusted our goals to fit our lifestyles. Here we learned the difference between “Me, Me, Me” and “We, We, We.” Life was good as long as we were willing to open our hearts and minds to the world.

What color is your reflection?

Midlife comes onto the scene with a vengeance! For some it’s a shock to look in the mirror and discover a new landscape or an entirely new life. Now we remember all those things we wanted to do thirty years prior before interruptions and distractions took over. We start making plans, realizing time is starting to speed up.

The good news is that we can look around and see new possibilities we never knew we had. Currently, 108.7 million people in the U. S. are over age fifty and growing, 53.5 percent are women, with 40 percent of men and women living as single/single-again. So we are not alone by any means. If we truly want to do something with the next fifty years, we need to be willing to get out of the house and meet others in our “tribe.”

Five Ideas to Begin Now

Thinking about it, our experiences pile one on top of the other for our entire lives. They build for us an entire “library” of knowledgeable events, good and bad. We can not actually go back in history and re-do our lives. But we can go forward, call on our learning episodes and make things new and different. We could start with these ideas:

• Lifelong Learning - always beneficial and fun, pick something you’ve wanted to learn or participate in doing. Local colleges provide a regular schedule of one-time classes.
• Travel Groups - how many of the U. S. states have you seen? How about that foreign country you’ve dreamed of stepping foot on? Day trips are also a great way to see sites and meet others without a big commitment.
• Community Events - right in your own hometown, there are plenty of occasions to use your skills, learn new ones, or volunteer and make your neighborhood better.
• Church Groups - just ask and you’ll see your church can always use your help. You’ll feel useful and needed for sure.
• Dating - please note dating clubs, organizations, and especially online dating, is not recommended by this author. They rarely result in any permanent relationship, are sometimes costly, and can actually be dangerous for the novice. However, if you feel you are ready to begin a new relationship, getting out and joining with others in some of the above groups may lead to meeting someone with similar interests. And that is a very good beginning!

Golden Days

No matter our circumstances and lifestyle at the moment, there is a way to make a difference with our days. God provides what we need, when we need it, if we just ask. He is always ready to help and will never, ever leave us. Just having a determination to do something with our lives that is worthwhile and beneficial is Step Two. Step One is placing our faith in the One true God. We can do that, can’t we?

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7 NIV).