Antics and Nonsense

Beautiful, but how intelligent?

When someone is considered intelligent, we often say they are “wise as an owl.” That phrase we define as a cliche and it is used so often that our curiosity has all but disappeared. Not only is such a grammatical hiccup non-creative, but we could make an enemy real quick when referring to a person in that manner. Why? Because owls, according to those wildlife experts who work with them, can not be trained to do even the simplest of tasks. Unlike parrots, hawks, pigeons, or even parakeets, who all can be taught to do a variety of amazing feats, owls are what we might lovingly refer to as mindless, as in unable to learn anything or be trained.

Without even knowing the facts above, many of us have used this common description (“wise as an owl”) solely based on how the beautiful owl species look. It is all in their enormous eyes compared to the size of their much smaller head. They simply look like they are focusing and paying attention to us, so we equate that with intelligence and describe them as wise. Especially when they turn their entire head to look at someone or something! Stunning!

There are many, many details we do not know about a lot of things. Most of us can readily admit to that idea, even though there has always been a myth that we only use ten percent of our brains (numerous scientists have proven otherwise). John Henley, a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, stated, "Evidence would show over a day you use 100 percent of the brain." The key to understanding this statement concerning the myth is that at any one time during the day, we may only use ten percent of our brain on a particular task or project.

Referring back to the “wise owl” comparison, nothing is more annoying than a person who constantly tries to point out their knowledge on every single subject thereby making themselves appear “intelligent.” There is rarely any topic, story, or person they do not know something about. We’ve seen this at dinner parties, networking groups, and even on dates. It seems they lack perhaps not intelligence, but a sense of humility in all things. They appear to have lost the ability to judge their importance.

We likely experienced this type of narcissistic personality in our last relationship. Nothing we did or said made any difference to that person at all. Our values and opinions were unimportant and we were made to feel small and mindless (remember the owl: unable to learn). Compared to this person whom we believed we loved and he loved us, we were reduced to a lower version of ourselves. But remember this important Bible verse when you think of that person you can not seem to get over or let go of: “Love is not jealous, or boastful, or proud, or rude.” (1 Corinthians 13:4b-5a NLT). But instead, true love “is patient and kind. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance," (1 Corinthians 4-7 NLT). With these opposite descriptions as a guide, ask, was it true love in the first place? We are smart enough to know which is which. No wonder we were unhappy.

The main subjects here are the antics and nonsense that go on with someone who is trying to convince others of how much they know. Of making sure we understand that they are right and there is no discussion of the matter. They get the last word above all. Those of us who have been through such a psychological relationship, know we have now had to make the hard choices.

The truth is that cleverness is considered one of the most attractive traits in the world. We can be drawn to it in others like a magnet. We see it in the news, in sitcoms, and in the movies all the time. It makes for superb ratings. Displayed correctly, cleverness is a gift of intelligence and brilliance without becoming selfish, smug, and self-absorbed. But it is often misused and misunderstood. In the hands of one who is wrapped up only in her/himself, it can do much damage to others without ever becoming aware of their destruction in the end. Used as it is meant, cleverness can afford us the means to create a brand-new life for ourselves and our children. We were given 100 percent of our brains to use--let’s do it!

Tip of the Day

The only One who truly knows our value is God Himself, our Creator. He is the One who knows us inside and out and loves us beyond all imagination, more fully than anyone on earth ever will. Be assured God was right there holding us up with his right hand when we were being put down, cheated on, and tossed out. He got us to safety where we are now--standing on our own two feet.

Know that we are not unteachable owls. . we are God’s W.O.R.D.: Women of Renewed Devotion!

“For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say, “He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness” (1 Corinthians 3:19 NLT).

Make Good Plans Now

Which one is your parachute?

Every single one of us has some type of creativity, whether we realize it or not. That is why human beings were created in the first place: to seek and find our special, one-of-a-kind purpose using all of our God-given, inherent passions. We may not spend hours detailing a painting as we sit at an easel, but something is burning in our hearts anxiously waiting to escape. We are good at creating something in our lives! It could be the flute we played so many years ago in the high school marching band that would now strike a perfect note in a jazz band or symphony orchestra. Or the pink ballet shoes hanging in the closet for years collecting dust that could teach a young girl how to dance.

Our creativity may not lie in any of these professional arts at all. It isn’t about the accolades, awards, or getting on one of the “Best” lists. Creativity is simply making new things or using new ideas. It might be exactly how we are at calculating sales projections, how we naturally lead the group in PTA meetings, our knack for baking bread, or hosting a grand opening at a rescued animal shelter. Any number of activities can fulfill our gift of creativity.

We instinctively know we are gifted in certain areas when we can hardly wait to wake up in the morning and do it all over again. This is passion! This is where the joy is! The ideas may come easily, but that doesn’t mean everything will always go as smoothly as honey. Anything worthwhile (and each of us determines that for ourselves) is worth trying, especially when it is difficult to continue. Remember the French painter Claude Monet? He painted his famous water lilies at least 250 times to get them right! Our artistic gift--whatever that may be--fills our thoughts until we release it through our five senses: touch, taste, sight, sound, or scent. Sometimes, it is advisable to engage feedback from friends to get a new perspective if we feel stuck figuring something out. Remember to trust yourself and take any critique as opinion, not the absolute rule. Our aim in creating is to use and experiment with all the ideas running around in our heads. We do this by continually reading and researching the subject, paying attention to the experts, and taking advantage of professional education and networking if we so desire.

Some of us have passions that have laid dormant for years like a hibernating bear. We either haven’t taken the time to discover what they are or we put only a half-hearted effort into developing our gifts. Just because we got distracted by other people, places, or non-creative activities for years, doesn’t mean we do not still have that creativity inside ourselves. Oh, it is there. It is the reason why we are still searching for our true selves and why we feel no satisfaction or fulfillment in life. We just have not answered the natural “call” of our souls to wake up!

Today is perfect for opening our eyes and stretching for the morning sun (workout anyone?). Time to dust off the cobwebs and discover the ideas stored in the back of our minds. If we are honest with ourselves, deep down inside we already know what we want and can do with the rest of our lives, even if we have ignored the desire for a while. But maybe it’s a little hazy and we need to be pointed in the right direction. If that seems reasonable, try some of these resources to get the momentum going:

What Color Is Your Parachute? (2022) by Richard N. Bolles, MIT, Harvard. Chosen as "one of the all-time 100 best non-fiction books" by Time Magazine has sold more than ten million copies since its first publication (there is even an edition for those retired).

Excuses Begone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Wayne State University; St. John’s University

Discovering Joy in Your Creativity by Women of Faith

The Mind Connection: How the Thoughts You Choose Affect Your Mood, Behavior, and Decisions, by Joyce Meyer

Tip of the Day

Of all living things God breathed life into, humans are his masterpieces. YOU are His masterpiece and there is no one else like you! None. You are the original and there are no copies. He takes delight in that fact.

God had a reason for creating you. A purpose just for you to do good, so others will learn from you who He is and praise Him as the one true God. That’s a big assignment, but God already knew you could do it in your own special, unique way. No one else can do it just exactly like you!

The Bible says, “In the beginning God created. . .” He is the one and only Creator of all, has always created from the beginning of time, and is still creating new life every day. He never stops and he never makes a mistake. What an artist He is! To discover your best life, get to know this Master of all.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).

The Key to Your Future

Where is your key?

We held tight to our movie seats when Back to the Future, voted the twenty-third greatest film ever made, propelled us into another world. The movie was so popular because we like to fantasize about romantic or historical places we would have enjoyed visiting back in the future! We imagine what it would have been like to live in a certain period, what we would have become while there, and the amazing people we would have met.

When it comes right down to it, we are in a much better place--without the science-fiction time travel--now that we are starting a new journey. Life renewed. Exciting adventures. Freedom. Surely, living single is a scary struggle at first when it is all new to us. It takes tenacity, courage, and panache. It is a spirit of persistence and determination to go forward and not let anything get us down that will matter in the end. We have survived to this point and therefore, we know we can continue to do the same if we stay on track.

Our world now is the welcome discovery of second chances. Who wouldn’t want the opportunity to make things better and start over? Sure, we perhaps did not choose to become single again, but we can certainly learn to see our lives in a different light. A brighter light that can open up numerous possibilities, if we don’t allow anything to get in our way.

We do not control the universe; things do happen for a reason whether we are aware of them or not. Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as coincidence. Sometimes those reasons occur because of us--we were born, for instance, in a certain place, at a certain time, to certain parents. And sometimes the reasons transpire despite us. We make unwise decisions, often when we are depressed or discouraged. We become impulsive and rush into things, or we treat those around us with ill will. 

Here is the key to your future: the sequence of events that move us along on our chosen path requires our cooperation. We cannot just sit back and not take responsibility for our existence. Now is our chance! Once we get past all the sorrow, struggle, and strain of reinventing our lives (and it does take time), we will reach a point where we can look back and see we are much better off. The inevitable movement happens if we just focus and stay on course. Then from that moment of truth, we can gain momentum with confidence assured we are going in the best direction.

Once we arrive at our “happy place,” good things begin. Here we need a word of caution: do not try and force events to take place before they naturally appear. It would be like pushing ourselves to run a marathon after not exercising for the past ten years. We haven’t trained for it yet; we would pass out on the course! We can, however, practice using our natural gifts and talents to sculpt the life we have always imagined. It will take a bit of sagaciousness (insight/wisdom) no doubt, but we can get to where we want to go. The wise advice “do what you love and it will never feel like work” applies to our current situation like a well-fitting glove.

Developing a happy and successful life will produce one of our most attractive qualities. Don’t we all love cheerful people who enjoy life with a smile? However, trying to stretch and reach for a life we are not prepared for yet, will only pull our mental muscles into a painful knot. Better to take it slow and savor each day to the fullest right where we are at the moment. Practice makes perfect as they say!

Tip of the Day

One person who does control the universe and already knows how much we desire a better life and close relationships is God himself. Our singleness is not a surprise to Him. He understands our human traits, temperaments, and all the days of abuse that got us here. Now, God has placed us in a better world that he prepared in advance for us. When we grow to the point where we understand our healing process--where a time comes for us to move into a union with someone new--God will let us know! Until then, we can simply enjoy His presence, protection, and power in our lives.

“Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. . .” (1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT).

Improve the Landscape of Your Life

Where is your most beautiful landscape?

A famous TV doctor often repeats, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." We are here to gently say that we understand it is excruciatingly difficult to speak of faithfulness and trust after the collision we went through in our past relationship. Those are values we rather totally ignore now and not deal with ever. 

Unfaithfulness hurts, yes. Devotion and dependability were the keys we counted on to hold things together and those keys broke in the lock of our love. They were supposed to be as solid as iron. Keys we never needed to replace. And then they failed to work and here we are alone. Amazingly, we have found the strength to make it this far, so we can continue.

For our nurturing and growth, let's strive to bypass this obstacle and acknowledge what is right in front of us. No one walks down the aisle expecting anything less than a marital bond that exhibits true and constant support and loyalty. Promises kept. Trust deserving. It is how we imagine our life will blossom. And then it doesn't sprout and grow. Every couple is different and unique; the answers to why the bond didn't work are as numerous as the stars. It requires us to seek professional help to understand the kaleidoscope of two people living as one.

But wait! As long as we are willing, and truly want to improve the landscape of our lives, we can explore where our past has taken us and how to advance our future, which is all that is important at this point.

Danger! Four-Way Intersection Ahead

We have arrived at the intersection of life where many choices await us. The road is wide open, but we may be stalled and not know which direction to go. So many things to think about and decide because we don’t want to repeat the past. Panic wants to take control of the wheel but we are going to breathe deeply first.

LEFT. Turn this way and we slam right into Fear. It holds us back from merging onto the highway of life. We know the feeling. It keeps us in bed all day. It causes us to avoid people. It justifies our addictions. We stagnate, unable to move forward. Our engine just stops.

BEHIND. Turn back and we sink into Depression. The past becomes our present. Our energy completely disappears as our spirits fall. The "blues" become our only companion. We wallow in melancholy, unable to do anything about our unhappiness. Our heart is sick and weighed down. It's an ugly place.

RIGHT. Opposite the left is a turn that leads us into a newfound Trust in ourselves and others. We discover new truths and beliefs in how we can better handle life. Possibilities shine bright. We make an effort to connect with people who are encouraging and uplifting and eliminate any negativity that drags us down. Here we find our strength and resilience. We believe in our ability to thrive.

STRAIGHT AHEAD. We struggled through the storm and arrived in one piece at a place called Faith. We suddenly know something, or rather Someone, is waiting for us with open arms. Darkness turns to light, just as when we open the blinds and curtains to let the sun into a room. Happiness appears and introduces us to its twin, Joy. We learn how to recognize those who are trustworthy, loyal, and true. We become optimistic about our future.

Keeping Our Eyes Open

It is unsafe and impossible to drive with blindfolds on our eyes. We will crash into things! And we will never get where we are going. This journey we are traveling will have its share of bumps and turns. But we will hang on and move right on past all the unpleasant potholes. This time, we know which turn to take when we get to the intersection!

Tip of the Day

On every road, we need a Guide, but not just anyone. Someone who IS the definition of true Faithfulness and Trust. We can find Him on that Straight Ahead road. That place where God never gives up on us. Never. He promises He won't and can be trusted to keep His promise. He is faithful in every way and at all times. He has a rare unconditional love for us. He is the One we have been looking for all along.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever” (Psalm 107:1 NLT).

[photo compliments of pixabay]

Hit the Refresh Button

Refreshment anyone?

No matter what kind of relationship interruption we survived--from the passive to the aggressive--we can and eventually do learn to adapt. In all likelihood, facing such a poignant decision to divorce with so many factors to consider, it took more than a "minute" to find some answers and solutions. There were days, months, or even years trying to repair the divide to no avail. It simply wore us out.

So understandably, becoming whole again and bringing restoration back to our lives will take a season or more. It will require hitting the refresh button on Life. Exactly how long the season lingers depends on many things. Our energy level may feel like someone removed a plug from the bottom of our foot and let it drain into nothingness. Our vigor needs replenishing! Now is the time to pamper ourselves and take care of our bodies and emotional baggage. If that means sitting down with a professional and discussing options then that is the wise thing to do. It is a healthy way to revive and confirm we are on the right track.

Arriving at a place of comfort and new beginnings is determined by many different options. Generally, the most common is how long we were a couple, if there were children, and how close we were to each other during the marriage. Again, sitting down and talking with a therapist will help us reach a point of wholeness where our every minute is not consumed by what was or could have been. There is no need to rush the process. That is probably the worst thing we could do at this point. Of course, this doesn't mean we should just stop living, but we can learn to be gentle with ourselves as we move forward.

Time and Faith

Some people believe time is a remarkable healer, repairing our minds and souls from the inside out. Some do not. But many of us single-again women can attest to the truth of this statement. However, it does require a healthy dose of faith. We might say time and faith go hand in hand. If we slow down just a bit and allow it, time--along with patience, persistence, and prayer--will supply all the tools to build a foundation that will stand in a storm. The doubt for some of us is looking at time as a “stand-alone fringe benefit” when all it needs to operate is the key ingredient of faith!

What could make the healing period less stressful and boring is finding and using our talents and gifts. Yes, we all have a few. They are the ones we have forgotten about, but still enjoy; those we were born with but have not used. By the way, it is not selfish to encourage ourselves in this way. Call it an indulgence if you must, but developing our gifts is a necessity.

Just like our physical health, if we don't do something about what is bothering us, we will suffer emotionally too. We are the only ones with personal insight to care for what we need at this point; the only ones who know what we want. We can call on others for support, and should, but we can't expect anyone else to find the key to our happiness.

Seven Truths

Let's look at the following seven truths for discovering who we are deep down inside. In experimenting with some of these ideas, we can unlock the door to our future and find what we have been missing all along:

• When we recognize what we want to do with our future, our confidence grows.
• We discover--maybe for the first time--the possibilities open to us and find faith.
• We begin a pattern of lifetime growth and learning, which creates joy.
• We let go of fear, skepticism, and failure; in the process, we discover love.
• We find connection with others who understand us and let go of loneliness.
• We build a community of support and find strength.
• We reach out to others, share our experiences, and claim abundance.

Hitting the Mark

Because we are each unique human beings, we have different needs to begin our journey. Graciously, God has given us all the gifts we need, and, no matter what age group or status we find ourselves in right now, we can uncover exactly what that gift looks like and how we can use it. When we do that, we have hit the mark!

Tip of the Day

The best way to recognize our true potential is by reading the Holy Bible. This is how God speaks to us and he has all the answers about our future. Finding a local church home is a great starting point so don’t wait! They usually hold regular classes to help with the search, discovery, and understanding of our spiritual gifts.

“Jesus said to her, ‘Daughter, you took a risk of faith, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed. Be healed of your plague’” (Mark 5:34 The Message).

Pedal a Little Faster

 

We have started in a new direction with our chins held high. The wheels are gaining momentum and we look forward with all the enthusiasm we can find. We did it! After so many years of hesitating and drawing back into our shells wondering if we are making the right decision, we found the courage to claim a better life. The winds of change feel very good. Now is the time to breathe deeper, take a “calm break”, and dream about where we have been and where we want to go. No serious plans right now--they can wait for a moment--just a fun peek into the future.

Wheels of any kind--bicycles, motorcycles, Ferris wheels, roller skates, potters' wheels, and all those planes, trains, and automobiles--have one thing in common and one purpose: momentum. The force that moves us forward. Once the wheels start moving, it's very hard to get them to stop. This is a true picture of ourselves.

Maybe we didn't choose our particular situation and we still feel a little shaky, but our single-again lives are moving whether we want them to or not. The questions are which direction do we want to proceed, how fast will we skim along, and who is steering the wheel? It feels great to finally be in charge of our own lives, but we have to confidently take the wheel and move past the twenty miles per hour that was holding us back at one time. If we do not pedal a little faster, the lack of momentum will cause us to fall over! Nothing is worse than having to get back on again and again and again. It is not impossible, but it is not as fun as speeding through bumps, obstacles, and valleys.

Direction

Where do we want to go in the first place? The wheels are moving, so there is no time to let go! We have dared to dream, ponder, and plan about what we want to do with our lives. It could be leaving one job and taking a better one that will fit our gifts and talents. It could be finding a cozy cottage, luxurious apartment, or farmhouse to live in as long as we are happy. The dream might include moving to a town/city we have always loved. It could even be getting a fantastic makeover from head to foot! Anything is possible if we use our imagination.

Speed

Is it time now to move ahead? Or will the ideal plan take some much-needed assessing to work out the details? We may need to map out how fast we can get to our dream place. All of that is okay. Do we need to obtain a higher degree to land that job? We might be able to take a vacation to a different town and search for a place to live there. Our dream job could be in that new location. The opportunities are nearly endless!

Control

The American poet, Thomas Stearns (better known as T. S.) Eliot once said, “It's never too late to be what you might have been.” This is one of the truest statements ever. If we think about it, our age will continue to creep upward year by year by year whether we attempt something or not. So why waste this time we have been given? We begin by jotting down plans in a daily journal because when we see them on paper, it becomes real. Attainable. Possible. We registered for the next college semester. We ask for that job promotion and get it. We stick our necks out for our dreams once and for all. We don't look back.

As single-again women, we are responsible for not only ourselves but our children too, if we have been so blessed. We are their heroes and examples. They constantly watch and hopefully learn from us, even if our teenagers would never admit to it. No one else is going to initiate these changes for us (nor would we want them to). So, are we ready to take on the world? We can begin with our little corner of the garden and spread like wildflowers!

Tip of the Day

Only when we rely on God and try our very best every day, are we going to arrive at a point of accomplishment that builds our confidence so we can do even more.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to 

accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20 NLT).

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Retro Doll Collection

The term downsizing first came about in the business world to mean reducing staff through terminations. A way to make the company smaller and, perhaps, more profitable or effective. Many of us have gone through this devastation in our lives--and survived! But here in today's blog, we are talking about a different kind of downsizing that will not only make the junk we’ve collected “smaller,” but will help us move on with our new lives in a positive way thus producing the desired result.

Downsizing is a two-sided coin. Sometimes it is necessary just to create space in our jammed-packed closets and garages (our grandmothers called this spring cleaning), or to get rid of things that hold bittersweet memories and we can’t stand to look at them anymore, or even to finally move across town or the country and not bring it all with us.

We, former shop-till-you-drop women, have rooms filled to the brim with all sorts of unused things we never wanted to part with under any circumstance. Doll or teddy bear collections from age ten. Okay fine, maybe a collection of tiny metal cars we treasured that threw our brothers into a jealous fit. Or more grown-up things in the attic such as jewelry boxes, shoes, and dishes. Maybe we find macrame hangers and hooked rugs from the 1980s which, by the way, are back in style! (If some are too young to remember these DIY projects, ask any older relative and they will demonstrate how to create them, and, surprise, a new trend begins).

We know how the process goes. Organizational experts call it the Keep, Toss, and Donate boxes. Whether we have recently been divorced, or it’s been years, we understand downsizing. We have given up or lost most of everything we own, which is a bittersweet saga. Sometimes, we willingly gave up our possessions and then turned around many months later and wished we hadn’t given away so many treasured items we now need! Sounds like the beginning of a comic strip.

Of course, things are things that can be replaced. We need to make room for what’s important: our kids, friends, and our sanity. Keep in mind: we are beginning a whole new fresh start momentum. Unwanted reminders in our homes of a foregone life put roadblocks in our way. Put any guilt aside and feel good about traveling on the smooth road ahead without any obstacles. We are trying to create a new and wonderful life; joyful lives filled with abundance, and we’re not just talking about money or possessions here.

This whole downsizing idea can be quite a lot of fun if we give ourselves the chance to think of it that way. We get to gather, trade, or purchase what we want in our lives. If that means re-decorating the bedroom in modern florals that someone else never allowed, then enjoy! Find a brand new hobby of thrift-store treasure hunting in the process. What a fabulous way to save money for bigger and better things like all the costly extras the kids need, or a family vacation. Of course, we are not talking about their wants, only needs. We have to teach our children how to save their own money for wants and learn downsizing methods early in life.

The other side of this shiny new coin is feeling good about donating or giving away some of our gently-used possessions. This gives another woman who is hurting a way to acquire something she desperately needs. It’s a win-win situation.

Tip of the Day

The best part about all this non-worrying about things is that God always knows what we need and when we need it. All we have to do is trust him and be more open to the potential beauty in our new life.

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:31-34 NLT).

Beautiful Reflections

 

Each of us is unique!

Science, unfortunately, was not a favorite subject of some of us in school. However, some science teachers had a way of making things interesting with a lesson on reflective surfaces. God bless those teachers who continue to have passion! What made this demonstration so interesting was creating a favorite childhood toy: the kaleidoscope. 

Using ordinary objects like beads, glass, buttons, mirrors, and angles, the experiment created beautiful pictures inside a tube when held up to the light. And none of the colorful designs in the school project were ever the same twice. Understandably, to this day kaleidoscopes are popular for kids and adults alike. The lack of duplication in the design is precisely how each of us is made: individually awesome with unique characteristics.

However, there are specific times in our lives when we do not feel so wonderful or powerful. Certainly living through a marital break-up caused all sorts of unpleasant feelings to surface, sometimes all at once. We thought we were never going to feel good about ourselves again. Especially if it was a first marriage or a long marriage, we may have believed we just couldn’t make it on our own. We didn’t have enough of anything. Not enough know-how. Not enough money. Not enough looks, education, or a home. Not enough of the one hundred other things we could think up. 

That is how twisted our minds can get when we are under stress, can not think, and don’t even understand ourselves, never mind the other person. But it is of utmost importance to remember, that we were created to be wonderful women and therefore, we still are wonderful, powerful, and enough in every way--no one can take that away from us!

Even if the person we lived with never appreciated our true beauty, talents, or gifts, who says we have to accept that lack of vision? We have a chance to shatter any distorted image of ourselves by recognizing:

• Our value is not dependent on another person, whether that person is a former spouse, authority figure, or parent. On this earth, only you know you. With that kind of power, we can achieve more than we ever have before. Begin by enjoying just the next twenty-four hours. And then the next, and then. . .       
• Love is a two-way street. One person alone can not injure a relationship. This is probably the most painful, but necessary, paradox to face otherwise there is no forgiveness in either direction. If we stop ignoring this key responsibility point, we will save thousands in therapy bills and be much better off.                                       
• Nothing and no one can ever make God turn His back on us. Not even ourselves. The good news is no matter what we have done or how we lived or didn’t live our past lives, He accepts us unconditionally with loving arms. He loves us. Period. We are His precious daughters!                                                
• No power in heaven or earth can cut us off from His love. Once we ask the Lord into our hearts, He is there forever. He is there to guide us. He is there to protect us. He is there to provide for us. He is there. Always.

Time to go out now and buy a kaleidoscope to celebrate our beautiful and powerful form!

Tip of the Day

So now that we are settled into correct thinking and on our own, we can do our souls good by drawing near to God and preparing for heaven (our permanent home) while on earth. Nothing will give us more faith, hope, and confidence in knowing that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him."

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” (Romans 8:31 NLT).

Something Out of the Ordinary

Take a breath!

Dogs and cats are some of the most patient creatures on earth. If trained right, they wait for their food, a walk, or attention when we click off our computers and notice their sad eyes. These domestic darlings look forward all day long for their owner to return home (even if they start running in circles when they hear the key in the door). They may not enjoy the wait, but they never give up! 

Animals don't need a box of tissues to dry away tears. Oh, no, they go and play with their toys, look for bugs to eat, take a nap, and yes, maybe tear up the couch in their enthusiasm. But give up? Never. It's probably why we enjoy them so much--they are optimistic, even if they experience a cruel situation of abuse and neglect! We could learn something from our pets.

Too often, though, we humans conveniently use excuses to avoid getting better, getting over, or getting out. It just seems a lot easier to give up hope and stop trying at all. Our lives have changed drastically after divorce, losing a spouse, or becoming a single mom, and all the energy we have left is spent trying to figure out exactly how it happened. But the truth is, we may never know the whole story. 

Maybe we should try to write down what is so great about quitting and abandoning our dreams. The page would most certainly be blank because there is nothing good about breaking off a piece of our life and throwing it away. Nothing we would want to admit. Isn’t it time to change all this for the better?

If you have ever had the fortune to buy a Chanel suit, hat, dress, bag, or perfume, you probably know the designer and fashion icon, Coco Chanel. Her life-lessons story of poverty to riches is fascinating (if interested in more, pick up the book, The Gospel According to Coco Chanel by Karen Karbo, or check out the movie, Coco Before Chanel). She didn't just put on one of her handmade hat creations, opened her eyes, and was instantly rich and famous by any means. Coco Chanel once said something very inspiring for us on her way to success, “Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” 

In other words, if something--our life, job, home, finances, etc.--isn't working, don’t give up; try something out of the ordinary! Each one of us can create our unique solution based on our personality and situation. What works for one, may not be the answer for another. It’s been said, “The last key in the bunch opens the lock,” so let’s keep trying until we find the correct “key.” We can all uncover the courage inside us and just refuse to fail! Don't misunderstand, this is not a rose garden by any means. Low moments or seasons of unrest can not be avoided. They will always be a fact of life. We can, however, adjust our thinking and find appropriate ways to successfully get back on our feet. Like Coco Chanel, the life-changing question for us is, why do I continue to bang my head against a brick wall? That might be suitable for framing!

Tip of the Day

Another famous story is the one of Esther, a beautiful, young Jewish woman who became a real Queen. She did not have a perfect life, nor an easy one. Esther was not born with a large 401K account. She was an orphan until her cousin adopted her. After she was crowned the Queen and wife of the King of Persia (at his insistence), she went on to fight for her people to become free from slavery. It was a long and difficult, but successful, battle. Her secret? Esther never gave up! (Her true story is found in the Holy Bible). The amazing outcome of her life was all planned by God. Like He was with Esther, He is always on our side. Always. God has written our stories in our hearts. It’s time to speak to Him about it.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13 NLT).

Dense Fog Ahead

The Sun is on Its Way

It is difficult to see our way clearly as we navigate a new life. It is like passing through the worst fog we can imagine and getting nowhere. Lots of questions. “Is my life ever going to be right again?” “How am I supposed to get back to normal--whatever that is--after such a devastating and heart-breaking ending?” Certainly, it would be much easier to just throw up our hands and scream, “It’s never going to be the same again, so why try?”

It does appear that way when we can't see past the fog of change. And it is scary! We naturally resist transformation in any form, whether it's good for our hearts, minds, and souls or not. But here's the stinging question: Do we want the same unloving relationship? The one with little or no affection. The one that lost its electrifying touch. No, of course not. We would prefer the charming one we married, but not the morphed version. Never that! 

Lasting Improvement is Possible!

 
Afterwards, the sun comes out and we see the light of how our lives can breathe without all the hurt attached. The possibility is very attractive. What we miss sometimes is every single person on the face of this earth (yes, even us!) shifts, shuffles, and settles from day to day. Minute by minute. Inch by inch. Just like a home, even after fifty years, the foundation is still settling. It is a fact of life. We could hire a home expert to possibly improve the foundation and make it more stable. Buildings can undergo amazing renovations. But what about people? Can we change others all by ourselves?

The eye-opening truth is: We cannot change each other! Ever. Practice saying that one out loud. This is where we get into trouble. We want the other person to stop how they are acting or what they are becoming. We want to play God and create a “robot” of our exact, perfect man or friend. But we are not machines or animals that can be trained to perform better. We can only change ourselves and our response to that person. Each individual who desires change must look in the mirror and say, “I've got a problem, and I need to fix it.” Until that happens, no lasting improvement is possible. It is like banging our heads against a brick wall. Useless. And it hurts! So, we can suppose, then, that further pain isn't what we want deep down inside.

However, those "bricks" are useful for building a better life! We can start at this very point in time and go forward with our "trowel" in hand. What that "architecture" looks like will be different for each one of us. 

• Some of us will seek and share a new, mature relationship with all the perks.
• Some will plant a nurturing seed first and encourage growth on an individual level.
• Some will find outlets for creative expression in education, work, and extracurricular activities that are more important to them at the moment.

There are no incorrect or flawed blueprints here. Only that we never let the momentum stop! 

Tip of the Day

Who can we talk to about our exciting plans? "Fear not, dear child of mine," God seems to say with outstretched arms. “I am here. If you only let me, you will see how this will all work out. I have a plan and a purpose for you, I promise. Let's sit down and talk.” Can't we just hear him saying that to us right now?

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen” (Jeremiah 29:11-12 The Message).

Not Just a Crazy Notion

Ready to learn?

In the fall, regardless of age, many people take steps into their future and begin new college classes. In 2021, a reported [National Center for Education Statistics] 8.9 million undergraduate females accounted for most college students (fifty-eight percent) and embarked on a new journey! That is progress in a big way considering there were no colleges accepting women in America until after 1800! Education is not something to take for granted.

With advancements in many areas (for instance, the 19th Amendment in 1920 or Title IX in 1972) onward movement has been rapid. Today, more undergraduate and advanced degrees are earned by women than men. That is a fact [again, go to NCES] and is something to celebrate! This mini-history lesson simply says we are all thirsty for learning and can readily recognize the benefits.

Single-again women, especially, would gain much towards their future if education became a priority. Some of us never had the chance to go to college. Some started college and were never able to finish for one reason or another. Life got in the way. We understand but it is never too late!

We can all find a way to make that dream come true. First, find out what you are naturally good at doing (there are plenty of books out there to show you how) because nothing is worse than working at a job for the rest of your life and hating every minute of it! By the way, if you are already retired, don’t think this doesn’t apply to you! There are plenty of life-long learning “fun” courses at your local community college. Remember, life-improvement never comes too late. It shows a lot of confidence and endurance on our part. We can handle more than we think. What else is more important?

Tip of the Day

One more tidbit about history: during the 1800s in New England, due to the lack of books, many believed it was necessary to study the Holy Bible, so both boys and girls were taught to read from it early. This began an unquenchable thirst for education.

Our Heavenly Father has a fascinating and supernaturally powerful instruction book for us that provides, among other things, wisdom, poetry, and history freely given. The Bible is a way to start building a new life. A life that teaches how to trust God, and gain once and for all, the real truth. It can help us understand all aspects of our lives as special women. He knows the best path to take in our quest to become what we always dreamed of was possible. The required reading in this “educational” course is compiled of sixty-six books into one complete lesson on love.

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (Proverbs 3:6 NLT).

Seeds of Faith

Poppy flower seeds

We can mentally believe in many things; some commendable and some ridiculous. For instance, an organizational society still believes the earth is flat! Really! All it takes for us to believe some things is a faith conviction that it is possible.

What about faith itself? Through wanted and unwanted experiences over the years, we now know that faith is built on trust and knowledge, plain and simple. It isn’t something we can see or touch and grab onto, but it is something unseen, like the wind. We can feel the wind rushing past our faces, and therefore, we believe it exists even though we cannot see it. A summer breeze feels wonderful as it cools us. A light wind clears and cleans the air we breathe. A stronger wind sails ships, moves windmills, and brings rainstorms to feed crops. Something we can’t even touch has a purpose in our life.

In the same way, we know what it “feels like” to trust someone and so, over time, we believe in the person; we place our faith in them. What we cannot afford to miss here is that just because one person breaks this cycle--causing hurt, frustration, and destruction--our faith itself is not broken, nor is it the cause of a broken relationship. And God is not the cause either. A human being is the cause. Our faith is still intact and is still part of who we are. It has gone through an extremely strong wind--a massive storm--but has survived!

As single-again women, we have already made it through the “storm” and endured the “lightning strikes” of pain and anguish. Our journey to a fresh start has not been easy by any means. But we found a way to grow a tiny mustard seed of faith and are watching it bloom large in our lives. Now we need to keep on growing and thriving. Keep adding to these four “seed” packets:

• We are stronger than we think: we have made it this far and are in one piece.
• We have a clear purpose: we are becoming familiar with unfulfilled dreams.
• We know which direction to take: going forward gets us to our destination.
• We can know and trust God: the Bible teaches us how to do this very thing.

Tip of the Day

No matter how many times our human relationships have hurt or deceived us, the Lover of Our Souls, Jesus, knows our heartache and pain. He was distressed and rejected by his friends and even his family. He was tormented and brutally tortured by his enemies. He gets us!

Jesus loved us enough to be willing to die for us. Can we say that about anyone we know? This is exactly why we can, with faith, believe in Him and trust in Him. Now, He simply holds out His right hand to comfort and guide us on this fresh start journey.

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible” (Matthew 17:20 NLT).

Valuable Masterpieces

No Two Alike, Where Are You?

It is obvious that mainly women tend to be the helpers and caregivers of the world. We certainly cannot deny this fact which has existed since the beginning of time. For example, statistics show that about ninety-one percent of registered nurses are women. That’s pretty amazing! In many professions, we naturally use our gifts to help others, and it could be said that we have a great capacity for compassion.

Whether we work in the medical field, police force, military, or are stay-at-home moms, teachers, or caregivers, some of us have witnessed “life or death” emergencies that called on all our resources to stay composed. So, in a true emergency, we must stay calm enough to at least call the ambulance.

We are, no doubt, stronger than we think. Some of us find we are fine in an emergency and then collapse later like a ragdoll. Others want to immediately look away for a moment, then pull in a breath and gain momentum for whatever we need to do. However we handle an emotional situation, we discover strengths we never knew we had. Through this kind of “testing,” we can grow and learn more about who we are and gather courage for the next time.

 
Struggling through the anxiety-filled days of divorce can feel like an emergency that just won’t stop. There are too many what-do-I-do-now dilemmas, one delay after another, and hard-to-handle decisions to make. Unfortunately, no doctor can prescribe a magic pill that will fix everything for us, so we are on our own to deal with the mess of a broken life. It may have been forced upon us, but even if we chose to end the devastation and abuse, we may still feel crushed.
 
Like a shattered dish, we too can be put back together stronger and better. True, maybe not in the very same way, but with a different and beautiful design much like an interesting mosaic made from broken stone or glass pieces. Beautiful. Strong. Colorful. A masterpiece that tells a joyful story. And, be assured, we each have our own unique story to tell. No two mosaics are the same! With the pieces of our story, we can move ahead with strength and dignity and add a new chapter. Creating a newly crafted life is not a waste, it is a work of art!

Tip of the Day

We are all the Masterpieces of a loving God. He created us to be exactly who
we are even before the moment of conception. Individuals. Unique. Beautiful. No one is just like us (it’s proven even identical twins have some differences). Our Creator is not willing to see our lives thrown away without effectively carrying out our purpose and plan, no matter what our current circumstances. Choose today to place the broken pieces into His able hands and live a life of joy!

 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed” (Psalm 34:18 NLT).

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13 NLT).
 

How to Create More Energy

Try something new!

"I just don't have the energy to (fill in the blank)." True, it is a struggle sometimes to find that perfect balance of liveliness and peacefulness. We want to get up and do things, but how, when we feel so drained? It's so much easier to just pull the covers over our heads or stay on the couch and watch the nineteenth episode of Excuse
Me--Pass the Potato Chips. [Not a real show].

The first thing we want and need is more energy in our lives. Admittedly, we may have to jump in and be willing to practice new habits. Today is a good day to have some fun and see how many crazy ideas we can come up with to keep the momentum going. It will give us a way to prepare for the more serious goals ahead. Ready to try?

1. Start playing soft music just as the sun is rising. This “sound” stimulation helps train our bodies to wake up.

2. Program the coffee maker to start spreading a delicious fragrance our way. Works every time.

3. Feed our brains with food like berries, avocado, or coconut. Eat them one at a time or together, your choice. And smile!

4. Guzzle some water! First thing in the morning is the best habit to create. It awakens our organs and prepares them for the day’s activities.

5. Protein for lunch will keep us awake for the afternoon long haul. By the way, it doesn't have to be the carnivorous type. The produce section will surprise you. For instance, one-half cup of assorted veggies equals 2.6 grams of protein. One stalk of broccoli equals 4.26 grams. And one medium potato is 5 grams.

6. Don't automatically hate this tip just yet, it works. No screens (TV, smartphone, tablet, computer) of any kind one hour before bed. Instead, read that novel you bought last month. Use an adult coloring book. Do relaxation techniques. Listen to soft music. You will sleep much better!

Tip of the Day

Have you ever heard, “Let go and let God.” Well, that's not what He said. True, the easy thing to do would be to convince ourselves to let God do all the work and He could just give us all the beneficial energy we need. Simple, right?

The true answer is God does have a perfect plan for us. He created us to use our energy as part of that wonderful plan. Listen to these wise words:

“With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort” (1 Corinthians 15:58 The Message).

Sure, some days will be outrageously more difficult than others. It is okay to take a needed break, but don’t just stay there. You’re strong--you can do this!

“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame...Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder” (Romans 12:11-12 The Message).

What Is On Your "Basket List"?

Jeanne Calment of France was the oldest woman who ever lived at 122 years old (1875-1997)! Surely, she knew something the rest of us do not know about living and dying (think of this as a research project when you have time). Many people do want to live for a very long time, but maybe not that long!

Some of us would simply enjoy life more if we had enough time and resources to finally accomplish everything on our wish list. All those things we have always wanted to do, see, try, and experience. What would be on our “basket list?” Do we need more than one basket? 

An excursion to photograph charging elephants in the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania? Or setting sail to an exotic island? Maybe we are just looking right now for a more calming and encouraging list. Rent a bicycle and see the sites in our town or travel to the nearest coast and do the same. Or some simple pampering like sending flowers to ourselves (oh, you haven’t done that yet?). Or eating dessert before or instead of the meal. It’s all okay. Really. The key is to add those things to our lives that we have never done before, even if they seem silly.

Truly, no one would likely want to spend the rest of their life eating away their time working at their jobs or professions much past retirement age. Of course, we want to stay active and alive enjoying our next great adventure! What many do not realize is that the skills, abilities, and gifts that we learn in our jobs can be very useful outside of a nine-to-five job if we choose.

A valid financial need may keep us in a job longer than we wish, but we can still plan accordingly. One thing to learn right away is that it is never too late for an adjustment, no matter which decade we live in right now. There are numerous books, online programs, and community college courses available that explain this very fact. It’s all about changing the way we think; anything is possible if we want it badly enough!

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful individuals with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” (Calvin Coolidge, 30th U.S. President)

Tip of the Day

Once we are on our way and can relax, then we can help others going through exactly what we did. The experience and knowledge we now have are valuable commodities. We can use our gifts and talents to find a unique way to walk alongside another woman. From just simple ideas of encouragement, we can help someone turn their life around for good.

If you remember nothing else from today's blog, remember that God will never leave us or abandon us. He is cheering us on to get better and better with all the resources he gives us. One of his greatest commandments is to love God and love others for “love covers a multitude of sins.” With that kind of direction, our lives cannot help but become prosperous and fulfilling.

“Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it” (Psalm 34:12, 14 NLT).

We Are Not Alone

Time never stops for us!

Time is an elusive period that is difficult to explain. As much as we want to hold our best moments in our hands for a little longer, we can not make time stop. It never goes away, yet we can not make it start either. Sure, babies are born every day and so their personal cuteness "time" begins. We wear digital, quartz, and stainless steel watches and set our projection and smart alarm clocks just as we want them, but we still can not make time stop. It is a continually moving element of our existence. We do not know what the next moment will bring to our lives and relationships!

Before, During, and After

Believe it or not, some relationships finally end their time on a somewhat "friendly" note. It is more of a mutual agreement after many years of arguments, avoidance, and altercations. Perhaps one person desperately tries to work it out using all possible means. The other person passively accepts the unwanted decision from the other. A war of words that exists with no solutions eventually arrives at a place where everything just stops. There is nothing more to say or do. In this particular case, it seems time does mysteriously end. The “clock” at this moment abruptly stops.

However, many (if not most) rocky relationships go through a very real and scary time when a woman needs to flee from someone who wants to harm her, either physically or emotionally. For her safety--and that of any children--she must find a way to get away safely in one way or another. In the end, with great determination, difficulty, and the help of those close to her, it can be done.

In either scenario, we stop and ask, “What now? Who can I depend on for support?” We find out the answer is not in giving up (which only makes things worse), but in humbling ourselves and reaching out, maybe for the first time in our lives, to sympathetic family, friends, neighbors, and professionals (think therapists, pastors, or women’s support groups) who have answers and can help in concrete ways.

Help Available

It took some of us a very long time to find answers to our questions, but the resources available today are getting better and better. Be wise and make good use of any reputable professionals. Let us not feel like we are the only ones going through this devastation and, as a consequence, avoid getting help. Solutions exist. They work. Don’t ever give up!

Tip of the Day

There is one who can make things right in our lives once and for all. To save many struggles, anguish, and loneliness, don't hold back. Reach for the one and only God who is the very definition of love. Contrary to what some may think, he didn't cause our situation or pain. But he does extend a strong right hand that will hold us up, hold us secure, and simply hold us through each star-filled night. We can never go wrong holding his hand. He promises!

“I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely” (Psalm 63:8 NLT).

Five Basics for a Great Life

What does your learning curve look like?

Sometimes we all need an "inventory" to show us how to make our struggle easier while creating a better life. Our willingness to try is all it takes. Naturally, we will make mistakes along the way and we will learn. Thankfully, God never expects us to be perfect!

Have you ever purchased or ordered something that needed assembly when you got it home? It always comes with instructions that any five-year-old could follow, but maybe not an adult! (enter pun). Well, there are at least five basics we can easily follow to put together a great life! Ready to try?

• Build a support team. Share struggles with those we trust to listen and encourage.
• Ask for help. We can't always do everything by ourselves.
• First things first. Organize and get rid of what we don't need from the past.
• Make plans. Find a place to live and work that will truly make us joyful.
• Dream. There are goals we've always wanted to accomplish. Now is the time!

You're free to go ahead and add any other "basics" you can think of. Grab hold and be determined to start a new journey!

Just remember, no one else will be able to make things right for us, so when we are ready, we must decide to put one foot in front of the other and do something about our lives to make them better. Building a new life takes time and patience. It's a process and a choice. Establishing what to do, how to do it, and when to do it is part of the learning curve. And it is personal. One certain way will not be the same solution for another woman. But one thing is definite: We are all on a new journey whether we like it or not. We can do this together and help each other to grow and survive with enthusiasm and dignity.

Here's the all-important question for right now: how do we gain the strength we lost while dealing with re-inventing our lives? Battling physical exhaustion and emotional fatigue feels like an enormous plug someone removed from the bottom of our foot and everything drained out leaving us empty. But even worse than that, chronic exhaustion prevents us from living to our fullest capacity while our bank accounts dwindle paying out medical costs.

Not feeling or looking our very best blocks us from doing what we need and want to do to survive. Our bodies resist movement and, therefore, it gets harder and harder to get the momentum going. Something is missing. Surely we have things we have been wanting to do for years now and couldn’t wait to begin. Let’s think seriously about the alternative: do we want to replay the past? Of course not! It is our decision now to make our lives better. All the dreams we had while still married can now be wholly fulfilled--no one is holding us back. Yeah, world! We can do this.

Tip of the Day: "I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me" (Psalm 16:8 NLT).   

 

       

What Do I Do Now?

Joy may be easier for some women to attain than others. It’s a misunderstood idea that sometimes gets mixed up with happiness. We can say chocolate makes some of us happy. A certain song on the radio can make us so happy, we start dancing. Bright colors and designs, especially on balloons, can make everyone happier. For the most part, these common feelings are temporary, but certainly, we look forward to the next one. 

What is joy anyway? We can describe it quite accurately as a condition of permanence. We know true joy if we think about how we feel when we hold a baby. When we find out we do not have cancer as the doctor first suspected, we know the pure essence of joy deep down. And when we hug our friend who just conquered her first marathon, joy fills our hearts for her. These occasions of pleasure are marked by contentment and cheerfulness. Even if a part of it later changes, the initial joy will always remain.

Some of us have trampled through the "briar path" for a while and are now anxiously looking forward to escaping the "thorns" and getting on with the joy. Others may be asking how escaping all the heartache and turmoil of the past year(s) could even be possible. It's blinding to turn from the thickness of dark days and see bright light as if someone just shined a flashlight in our eyes, and then to scratch our way to the surface and remain intact.

By the way, joy has a companion that can help us successfully handle this season of our lives. Ever heard of that four-letter word: hope? It's a winner in our lives! Truthfully, hope is produced by endurance--when we "hang in there" and keep moving forward no matter what happens. No matter how much pain we feel, we can get off that couch and push through the emotion. Sure, no one said it would be easy but when we are determined to do something difficult for a long time and still end up breathing, we are growing our hope and increasing our joy! It is not a magical "wishful thinking" kind of thing. Hope is as real as looking up in the sky and seeing the sun. It is too far away to touch, yet we can feel its warmth every day. Hope is the confidence we have in things that are unclear or unseen. It is our inspiration!

Acknowledging we are not that person anymore--the one who was trapped in a loveless relationship--but stronger women with new lives, will help to get us started in a new direction. It's up to us now to create something bigger and better. Something joyful. Something hopeful. We are stronger than we think. We've made it this far, haven't we? That didn't happen by accident. 

Tip of the Day: "I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13 NLT).