Dense Fog Ahead

The Sun is on Its Way

It is difficult to see our way clearly as we navigate a new life. It is like passing through the worst fog we can imagine and getting nowhere. Lots of questions. “Is my life ever going to be right again?” “How am I supposed to get back to normal--whatever that is--after such a devastating and heart-breaking ending?” Certainly, it would be much easier to just throw up our hands and scream, “It’s never going to be the same again, so why try?”

It does appear that way when we can't see past the fog of change. And it is scary! We naturally resist transformation in any form, whether it's good for our hearts, minds, and souls or not. But here's the stinging question: Do we want the same unloving relationship? The one with little or no affection. The one that lost its electrifying touch. No, of course not. We would prefer the charming one we married, but not the morphed version. Never that! 

Lasting Improvement is Possible!

 
Afterwards, the sun comes out and we see the light of how our lives can breathe without all the hurt attached. The possibility is very attractive. What we miss sometimes is every single person on the face of this earth (yes, even us!) shifts, shuffles, and settles from day to day. Minute by minute. Inch by inch. Just like a home, even after fifty years, the foundation is still settling. It is a fact of life. We could hire a home expert to possibly improve the foundation and make it more stable. Buildings can undergo amazing renovations. But what about people? Can we change others all by ourselves?

The eye-opening truth is: We cannot change each other! Ever. Practice saying that one out loud. This is where we get into trouble. We want the other person to stop how they are acting or what they are becoming. We want to play God and create a “robot” of our exact, perfect man or friend. But we are not machines or animals that can be trained to perform better. We can only change ourselves and our response to that person. Each individual who desires change must look in the mirror and say, “I've got a problem, and I need to fix it.” Until that happens, no lasting improvement is possible. It is like banging our heads against a brick wall. Useless. And it hurts! So, we can suppose, then, that further pain isn't what we want deep down inside.

However, those "bricks" are useful for building a better life! We can start at this very point in time and go forward with our "trowel" in hand. What that "architecture" looks like will be different for each one of us. 

• Some of us will seek and share a new, mature relationship with all the perks.
• Some will plant a nurturing seed first and encourage growth on an individual level.
• Some will find outlets for creative expression in education, work, and extracurricular activities that are more important to them at the moment.

There are no incorrect or flawed blueprints here. Only that we never let the momentum stop! 

Tip of the Day

Who can we talk to about our exciting plans? "Fear not, dear child of mine," God seems to say with outstretched arms. “I am here. If you only let me, you will see how this will all work out. I have a plan and a purpose for you, I promise. Let's sit down and talk.” Can't we just hear him saying that to us right now?

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen” (Jeremiah 29:11-12 The Message).