Who Sees You?

Today, Fresh Start Momentum continues our SUMMER SISTER SERIES highlighting the lives of some famous and amazing women who might just encourage us in our struggles. True stories that can give us insights for our lives in the 21st Century and how all women--married or not--have always been important throughout history. Join us for the final two weeks as we showcase our "sisters."

Many of us have never taken a look at our family tree. Where we came from and where we are going. We haven't even found out who our ancestors were, what they did for a living, and what effect they had on our lives. This week we take a look at the story of a downtrodden woman who lived in misery. Read on and see if you can relate to the existence she endured, then (here's the best part): try to recognize her worth that ended in fulfillment.

Desert Wanderings

It’s not very common today, but slaves or “maidservants” were acceptable in Biblical times. They were expected to do exactly what they were commanded to do and remain quiet. Slave or not, Hagar was a brave woman with a mind of her own. She knew she could be of some value, if only for her labor and the fact she could bear children. And this would become her history that still affects us today!

Hagar served Sarai/Sarah, Abram/Abraham's wife, who had not borne any children at all, even though she was in her 90s. As an answer to infertility, surrogate mothers were used then as now. Contrary to what we may think, it is nothing new. Hagar was expected to do just that for Sarah when she was sent to be Abraham's second wife.

Here was the problem: after Hagar became pregnant, she began to despise Sarah, who in turn, treated Hagar so badly she ran away. We are all humans, after all. We demean and discredit others when things don’t go our way. We cause them to do things they might have never done. We don’t consult the Lord for His direction in our lives. We then, just go about doing whatever we please and, often, turn around and blame God.

Promises and Plans

But God wasn’t going to let Hagar go. God would send her a son named Ishmael (a pretty wild and hard to control kid!) to provide her with a family. He promised that her descendants would grow to so many, she wouldn’t be able to count them. And that is exactly what happened.

He SEES us! 

When Hagar witnessed this promise come true, she knowingly said, You are the God who sees me. This is a heart-pounding statement that we would do well to remember. When we think God is not anywhere near, we are mistaken. When we think He does not hear us, we are mistaken. When we think He has no plans or promises for us, we are mistaken. He is everywhere, all the time, and in every way.  

For this reason, Hagar gave a special name to the well where the angel first found her. It is still there to this day in Beersheba, Israel. Hagar's many ancestors live there to this day.

"The angel of the Lord also said to her: You are now with child and you will have a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery" (Genesis 16:11 NIV).

Find the story of Hagar in the Holy Bible, Genesis, Chapters 16; 21.   

Any Drama in Your Family Lately?

Today, Fresh Start Momentum continues with a SUMMER SISTER SERIES highlighting the lives of some famous and amazing women who might just encourage us in our struggles. True stories that can give us insights for our lives in the 21st Century and how all women--married or not--have always been important throughout history. Join us each Monday for the next three weeks as we showcase our "sisters."

Fierce Devotion

Mothers are sometimes fiercely devoted to their children. It is not unusual for moms to give up and sacrifice for them to make sure they have want they need or are entitled to receiving. It truly brings anguish to a mom to see her child in want. If she can do anything at all for the child, she will do it. This has happened since the beginning of time. It appears God created moms with a certain little gene no one else has that is activated when her child is born. It can not be ignored when it comes to her child. A woman named Rebekah had this trait as well.

Love Begins

At the request of Abraham, Rebekah had been brought from another land to marry his son, Isaac. Rebekah was known as a courteous and kind woman. She also “was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her.” Rebekah had no problem traveling to become someone’s wife. In those days, arranged marriages were common and considered fortunate.

Often, the woman was given expensive gifts such as the “gold nose ring weighing a beka [⅕ oz] and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels [one shekel weighs ⅖ oz]” given to Rebekah. Upon returning to Canaan, she immediately married Isaac, but remained without children for twenty years!

Isaac believed in the Lord and in prayer. He remained in continual prayer until the Lord blessed him and Rebekah with twin sons, Jacob and Esau. From the very beginning (even in the womb), the two brothers were constantly fighting each other. Surely, this caused great distress for their parents. And it changed everyone involved.      

Love Hurts

In most families, playing favorites with one child over another can result in severe discord among, not only the siblings but between the mom and dad. At times it can get way out of hand as lying, dishonesty, malice, and hatred (to name but a few habits) causes irreparable damage in the family. Parents that started out loving all their children with delight and pride turns into an entirely different home when one child is shut out of love and affection.

There are no perfect parents, just as there are no perfect children. Agree? Esau became the favorite child of Isaac. Jacob became Rebekah’s favorite. Husband against wife. Brother against brother. The worse relationships there couldn’t be. Even in today’s world, this is still happening.

Rebekah overheard her husband promising Esau his inheritance. She wanted that for Jacob and convinced Jacob to deceive his father into giving him Esau’s birthright. Jacob didn’t believe it would work, but Rebekah said if it did not, “My son, let the curse fall on me. Just go and do what I say. . .” And so he did. Esau was shut out of his blessing. When he found out, Esau planned on killing Jacob over the swindling.

And the world spins on and on and on. Where will the drama stop? What can we as mothers do to end the strife in our own families? It is up to us to maintain loving relationships with each of our children, even in a single parent home. No one said it would be easy. But it can be done.

"Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her. . ." Genesis 24:67 NIV.

[The entire story of Rebekah can be found in Genesis 24-27; 49:31].

  

Where Is Your Focus as a Widow?

Bloom Where You Are Planted

Today, Fresh Start Momentum continues a SUMMER SISTER SERIES highlighting the lives of some famous and amazing women who might just encourage us in our own struggles. True stories that can give us insights for our lives in the 21st Century and how all women--married or not--have always been important throughout history. Relax as we cheer on our "sisters" and their stunning journeys.

Solving Nightmares

Each week we are presenting a woman that can teach us life lessons. Someone who is not perfect, but is human like us. Some are single, single-again or widowed as in today's story. The timeline may be ancient but stay with us while we learn how God honored and used women throughout history. He still does.

No one can possibly know unless they have been one themselves, but the widow has a tremendous road to travel. Psychologists state it is one of life’s most traumatic losses next only to the loss of a child. Add to this the absence of income (if the husband was the only wage-earner), and then multiply it by the loneliness factor, as most widows live alone. It’s what nightmares are made of.

Anna was married just seven years when her husband died. She didn’t give up on life though. She followed in the footsteps of Miriam, Deborah, and Huldah who all cared about their country’s relationship with the Lord. We could ask ourselves, how often do we pray for our country, state, and city? How about our leaders?

Anna was a godly woman who became a prophetess. In fact, she spent so much time in the Temple praying, she eventually made it her living arrangement! Considering her situation, we may wonder, why not?

Basilica of Holy Sepulchre, Jerusalem

Anna worshiped and fasted without a break. She literally devoted herself to the Lord. It sounds like she was waiting for instructions from the Lord, doesn’t it? It surely took a lot of listening. Maybe easier for her than in our high-tech world of noise and chaos.

When it came time for Mary and Joseph to present their child, Jesus, at the Temple, Anna was there. Notice she made herself available for God to use her. Anna witnessed the dedication, praised God, and then came over to speak to Mary and Joseph.

We can only imagine what was said. It appears she was more than delighted to see this child! She spoke about the Messiah to all who had been waiting for God to rescue Jerusalem.

Anna remained a widow all her days until she was 84.

Our Part and Purpose

We know women naturally live longer than men. This may be why God commanded us all to care for each other, especially widows, in whatever way we can. As we see in the life of Anna, our lives can make a difference to others, no matter what our status in life.

God has a purpose for each one of us in every walk of life. Let’s not waste our time on earth sitting in sorrow and loneliness. Find a "sister," friend, or mentor and become the light in their world! Then listen for the voice of God.

*The story of Anna can be found in the Bible, Luke 2:36-38.

If a woman who is a believer has relatives who are widows, she must take care of them and not put the responsibility on the church. Then the church can care for the widows who are truly alone. 1 Timothy 5:16      

What Was Your Best Day?

Today, Fresh Start Momentum begins a SUMMER SISTER SERIES highlighting the lives of some famous and amazing women who might just encourage us in our struggles. True stories that can give us insights for our lives in the 21st Century and how all women--married or not--have always been important throughout history. Join us each Monday for the next five weeks as we showcase our "sisters."

Big Sisters Can Be a Blessing

Sometimes it takes a little faith and a head on our shoulders to get things done. In the process, we might even learn some hard lessons, as in the story about this amazing girl:

Miriam was no exception. Her brother was as famous as one could get. His name was Moses and Miriam saved his life right after he was born. At a young age of 12, she watched her mother devise a plan to place Moses into a waterproof basket and send it down the Nile River to safety. They did this to save him from being slaughtered along with all little Jewish boys as ordered by the king of Egypt.

Miriam carefully watched the basket and then witnessed Pharaoh’s daughter remove the baby, even though she knew he was a Hebrew baby doomed for death. Miriam was quick-thinking and told Pharaoh’s daughter she would help to get a Hebrew woman to nurse the baby. The woman was actually Moses’ mother! Miriam was not only good under pressure but later became a leader during the Exodus, a prophetess, and a songwriter. Very ambitious, indeed!

Miriam, however, became jealous of Moses as he grew up and criticized his leadership. She also didn't care for his choice of a certain woman to become his wife. Sound familiar? To make things even worse, Miriam and another sibling expressed their resentment in public. And here was when Miriam had some hard lessons to learn about the motives behind destructive criticism of others.

Simple Answer, Difficult Problem

Many issues surely factor into why we find it so easy to criticize others. So many issues, in fact, it's best to speak to a doctor specializing in this area if we find criticism is a serious problem in our lives.   

True perfection found only in nature

In general, criticism can grow in us because we not only dislike what the other person is doing or how they are doing it. But because in some way or another, we believe it will negatively affect us or disturb our life. It's an ego problem in its simplest form. However, we can't possibly know what's in the other person's head. Only God can have that kind of insight.   

Most of the time, we allow our pride to convince us we are right and they are not. Then we go about trying to tell them how to live and placing blame. The result is mass destruction of the ugliest kind.

Five Constructive Measures We Can Use

1. Look at the motives behind our criticism.

2. Use praise first, then offer suggestions only.

3. Concentrate on the behavior, not the person.

4. Use examples from our own life.

5. Support the other person in finding ways to improve.

[Find Miriam’s story in the Holy Bible, Exodus 2 and 15; Numbers 12 and 20.]

For I brought you out of Egypt and redeemed you from slavery. I sent Moses, Aaron, and Miriam to help you. Micah 6:4

Who Is the Real "Me?"

Our identity is a valuable commodity. Experian Information Solutions (credit reporting company) reported 14.2 million credit cards were exposed in 2017 which is up 88% over 2016! In addition, 158 million social security numbers were exposed in 2017. We all probably know of someone—maybe even ourselves—that have had to go through the grief, pain, and hassle of trying to clear our name and identity after an incident of theft, home invasion, or personal information stolen through the internet. Sometimes it can take years to correct the situation and return to our own lives.

    

Maybe it’s slightly less serious—although still a hassle--for those of us who are single-again to create a new identity after divorce. We may simply want to return to our maiden name, open new bank accounts, and purchase property of some kind. But it isn’t as simple as we might imagine, especially if we were not the wage earner and all financial documents were acquired by our partner.

But it can be done. It just requires several steps, lots of patience, and quite some time to make it happen. Eventually, just like traveling to a foreign port, we arrive at our single-again destination with all our belongings in place. We survived the “trip.” Now we begin again and can enjoy the scenery!

Nothing Has Changed

Identity is established by several things. Not just our marital status, but in our own language, the family we were born into, and even our national identity. It would be extremely difficult—if at all--to change any of that. It is our personal identity and it also includes our physical attributes: hair, eyes, skin color, height, smile. This is how we were created, and it cannot be changed on a whim. You are “Me.”

Sure, we know features can be cosmetically changed like the color of our hair, for instance. But, obviously, it is temporary. Much to our distress, our original color grows back! Colored contacts? Yes, they are popular. But we usually must take them out to sleep and guess what? The eye color we were born with has not changed. Our identity has not changed. God created us one exact way—with no mistakes--and no matter what human “invention” or “operation” we may try, we are still “me” and he knows us.

Thankfully, he does know the real “Me.” Take time to read (and even memorize) the entire Psalm 139 and you’ll know exactly who loves you inside and out! He knows every single day of our lives from beginning to end even before we were born. That is so miraculous! How many hairs do we have on our head? We don’t know (and that number does change every day, every year, right?). But God knows the exact number; why does he even care? Where have all the tears we have shed gone? Can we count them? God knows because he has collected each one of them in a bottle and recorded them in his book! Oh, my, yes, it’s true! [Psalm 56:8].

Out of Bad, Comes Good

So, no matter what has happened to us, God knows it all. But be clear about this one fact: he did not cause any of our pain and sorrow. God never wanted any of those horrible days to occur to us and, in fact, he was right there beside us holding our hand because he loves us. We are here, are we not? He had plans for us then and he still has plans for us now. Out of all the “Bad,” God makes “Good” if we trust in Him.

“When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end—Because I am GOD, your personal God. . .that’s how much you mean to me! That’s how much I love you!” (Isaiah 43:2-4 MSG).

  

What Does Freedom Actually Mean?

Two hundred and forty-two years ago this week the United States claimed its independence from England. It was no simple or easy idea that sparked the desire to live separate and unconnected from a country who had already been in existence for over 400 years. It was surely a glorious day after much struggle, effort, and determination. A day we now celebrate with fireworks, backyard Barbeques, and summer travel.

Which brings up a question. How much of this country have you seen in your lifetime? There are some pretty amazing discoveries right on our own soil and we have the freedom to do that now as single-again women. Who says we have to sit home and get stuck in our own restraints? We may have had a mental Bucket List for years swimming around in our heads. So let’s start planning!   

For example, the U. S. Congress reports that the Four Corners Monument is the only place in the U.S. where you can stand in four states at the same time! It is the spot where a surveyor from the 1800s marked the meeting of Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona. Talk about killing two--or in this case four--birds with one stone!

And if you really want to enjoy a clear day, swallow your fear of heights and climb up 102 stories (above the muck of pollution) to the top of the Empire State Building in New York City. There you can actually see the states of New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania all at once. Amazing. We have much to celebrate about this beautiful and FREE country--don’t miss it.

Pride and Prejudice

Some people get the wrong idea about freedom, though. It can be seen as being able to do anything we want without constraint, without any rules or laws. No one holding us down. We become the “ruler” over our own lives. With that kind of viewpoint, we can get ourselves into trouble we never expected or wanted.

Looking back, we can see that after our divorce--and maybe even during the horrible ordeal--we perhaps acted giddy and foolish with all the “freedom” we had acquired. Thinking we had no one to answer to, we streaked head first like some "super girl" at the finish line. There are things that we probably regret now that we have come to our senses once again. We are not alone in this realization by any means.

There is no denying we are smart and powerful women. We all have what it takes to get where we want to go. We know this because of what we have already gone through just to get here. Here. Now. The Present. It’s real. We know how to achieve “freedom” and still be sensible and safe. What we work on now is how to activate and incorporate all of our ideas, wishes, dreams, and goals.

Mercy Triumphs

Since the beginning of time, there have been commandments, laws, and rulings. These were not established to constrain us like citizens of a dictatorship. Oh, no! This was God's way to protect us and give us real freedom to love Him and to love our neighbor as ourself. Period. That simple. He shows us mercy and gives us the understanding to achieve the abundant life we so want. It’s His way. His character. He is our Good, Good Father, unlike any father we have ever known. Celebrate that freedom today!

“So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you" (James 2:12-13 NLT).