Beautiful Reflections

 

Each of us is unique!

Science, unfortunately, was not a favorite subject of some of us in school. However, some science teachers had a way of making things interesting with a lesson on reflective surfaces. God bless those teachers who continue to have passion! What made this demonstration so interesting was creating a favorite childhood toy: the kaleidoscope. 

Using ordinary objects like beads, glass, buttons, mirrors, and angles, the experiment created beautiful pictures inside a tube when held up to the light. And none of the colorful designs in the school project were ever the same twice. Understandably, to this day kaleidoscopes are popular for kids and adults alike. The lack of duplication in the design is precisely how each of us is made: individually awesome with unique characteristics.

However, there are specific times in our lives when we do not feel so wonderful or powerful. Certainly living through a marital break-up caused all sorts of unpleasant feelings to surface, sometimes all at once. We thought we were never going to feel good about ourselves again. Especially if it was a first marriage or a long marriage, we may have believed we just couldn’t make it on our own. We didn’t have enough of anything. Not enough know-how. Not enough money. Not enough looks, education, or a home. Not enough of the one hundred other things we could think up. 

That is how twisted our minds can get when we are under stress, can not think, and don’t even understand ourselves, never mind the other person. But it is of utmost importance to remember, that we were created to be wonderful women and therefore, we still are wonderful, powerful, and enough in every way--no one can take that away from us!

Even if the person we lived with never appreciated our true beauty, talents, or gifts, who says we have to accept that lack of vision? We have a chance to shatter any distorted image of ourselves by recognizing:

• Our value is not dependent on another person, whether that person is a former spouse, authority figure, or parent. On this earth, only you know you. With that kind of power, we can achieve more than we ever have before. Begin by enjoying just the next twenty-four hours. And then the next, and then. . .       
• Love is a two-way street. One person alone can not injure a relationship. This is probably the most painful, but necessary, paradox to face otherwise there is no forgiveness in either direction. If we stop ignoring this key responsibility point, we will save thousands in therapy bills and be much better off.                                       
• Nothing and no one can ever make God turn His back on us. Not even ourselves. The good news is no matter what we have done or how we lived or didn’t live our past lives, He accepts us unconditionally with loving arms. He loves us. Period. We are His precious daughters!                                                
• No power in heaven or earth can cut us off from His love. Once we ask the Lord into our hearts, He is there forever. He is there to guide us. He is there to protect us. He is there to provide for us. He is there. Always.

Time to go out now and buy a kaleidoscope to celebrate our beautiful and powerful form!

Tip of the Day

So now that we are settled into correct thinking and on our own, we can do our souls good by drawing near to God and preparing for heaven (our permanent home) while on earth. Nothing will give us more faith, hope, and confidence in knowing that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him."

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” (Romans 8:31 NLT).

Something Out of the Ordinary

Take a breath!

Dogs and cats are some of the most patient creatures on earth. If trained right, they wait for their food, a walk, or attention when we click off our computers and notice their sad eyes. These domestic darlings look forward all day long for their owner to return home (even if they start running in circles when they hear the key in the door). They may not enjoy the wait, but they never give up! 

Animals don't need a box of tissues to dry away tears. Oh, no, they go and play with their toys, look for bugs to eat, take a nap, and yes, maybe tear up the couch in their enthusiasm. But give up? Never. It's probably why we enjoy them so much--they are optimistic, even if they experience a cruel situation of abuse and neglect! We could learn something from our pets.

Too often, though, we humans conveniently use excuses to avoid getting better, getting over, or getting out. It just seems a lot easier to give up hope and stop trying at all. Our lives have changed drastically after divorce, losing a spouse, or becoming a single mom, and all the energy we have left is spent trying to figure out exactly how it happened. But the truth is, we may never know the whole story. 

Maybe we should try to write down what is so great about quitting and abandoning our dreams. The page would most certainly be blank because there is nothing good about breaking off a piece of our life and throwing it away. Nothing we would want to admit. Isn’t it time to change all this for the better?

If you have ever had the fortune to buy a Chanel suit, hat, dress, bag, or perfume, you probably know the designer and fashion icon, Coco Chanel. Her life-lessons story of poverty to riches is fascinating (if interested in more, pick up the book, The Gospel According to Coco Chanel by Karen Karbo, or check out the movie, Coco Before Chanel). She didn't just put on one of her handmade hat creations, opened her eyes, and was instantly rich and famous by any means. Coco Chanel once said something very inspiring for us on her way to success, “Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” 

In other words, if something--our life, job, home, finances, etc.--isn't working, don’t give up; try something out of the ordinary! Each one of us can create our unique solution based on our personality and situation. What works for one, may not be the answer for another. It’s been said, “The last key in the bunch opens the lock,” so let’s keep trying until we find the correct “key.” We can all uncover the courage inside us and just refuse to fail! Don't misunderstand, this is not a rose garden by any means. Low moments or seasons of unrest can not be avoided. They will always be a fact of life. We can, however, adjust our thinking and find appropriate ways to successfully get back on our feet. Like Coco Chanel, the life-changing question for us is, why do I continue to bang my head against a brick wall? That might be suitable for framing!

Tip of the Day

Another famous story is the one of Esther, a beautiful, young Jewish woman who became a real Queen. She did not have a perfect life, nor an easy one. Esther was not born with a large 401K account. She was an orphan until her cousin adopted her. After she was crowned the Queen and wife of the King of Persia (at his insistence), she went on to fight for her people to become free from slavery. It was a long and difficult, but successful, battle. Her secret? Esther never gave up! (Her true story is found in the Holy Bible). The amazing outcome of her life was all planned by God. Like He was with Esther, He is always on our side. Always. God has written our stories in our hearts. It’s time to speak to Him about it.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13 NLT).

Dense Fog Ahead

The Sun is on Its Way

It is difficult to see our way clearly as we navigate a new life. It is like passing through the worst fog we can imagine and getting nowhere. Lots of questions. “Is my life ever going to be right again?” “How am I supposed to get back to normal--whatever that is--after such a devastating and heart-breaking ending?” Certainly, it would be much easier to just throw up our hands and scream, “It’s never going to be the same again, so why try?”

It does appear that way when we can't see past the fog of change. And it is scary! We naturally resist transformation in any form, whether it's good for our hearts, minds, and souls or not. But here's the stinging question: Do we want the same unloving relationship? The one with little or no affection. The one that lost its electrifying touch. No, of course not. We would prefer the charming one we married, but not the morphed version. Never that! 

Lasting Improvement is Possible!

 
Afterwards, the sun comes out and we see the light of how our lives can breathe without all the hurt attached. The possibility is very attractive. What we miss sometimes is every single person on the face of this earth (yes, even us!) shifts, shuffles, and settles from day to day. Minute by minute. Inch by inch. Just like a home, even after fifty years, the foundation is still settling. It is a fact of life. We could hire a home expert to possibly improve the foundation and make it more stable. Buildings can undergo amazing renovations. But what about people? Can we change others all by ourselves?

The eye-opening truth is: We cannot change each other! Ever. Practice saying that one out loud. This is where we get into trouble. We want the other person to stop how they are acting or what they are becoming. We want to play God and create a “robot” of our exact, perfect man or friend. But we are not machines or animals that can be trained to perform better. We can only change ourselves and our response to that person. Each individual who desires change must look in the mirror and say, “I've got a problem, and I need to fix it.” Until that happens, no lasting improvement is possible. It is like banging our heads against a brick wall. Useless. And it hurts! So, we can suppose, then, that further pain isn't what we want deep down inside.

However, those "bricks" are useful for building a better life! We can start at this very point in time and go forward with our "trowel" in hand. What that "architecture" looks like will be different for each one of us. 

• Some of us will seek and share a new, mature relationship with all the perks.
• Some will plant a nurturing seed first and encourage growth on an individual level.
• Some will find outlets for creative expression in education, work, and extracurricular activities that are more important to them at the moment.

There are no incorrect or flawed blueprints here. Only that we never let the momentum stop! 

Tip of the Day

Who can we talk to about our exciting plans? "Fear not, dear child of mine," God seems to say with outstretched arms. “I am here. If you only let me, you will see how this will all work out. I have a plan and a purpose for you, I promise. Let's sit down and talk.” Can't we just hear him saying that to us right now?

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen” (Jeremiah 29:11-12 The Message).

Not Just a Crazy Notion

Ready to learn?

In the fall, regardless of age, many people take steps into their future and begin new college classes. In 2021, a reported [National Center for Education Statistics] 8.9 million undergraduate females accounted for most college students (fifty-eight percent) and embarked on a new journey! That is progress in a big way considering there were no colleges accepting women in America until after 1800! Education is not something to take for granted.

With advancements in many areas (for instance, the 19th Amendment in 1920 or Title IX in 1972) onward movement has been rapid. Today, more undergraduate and advanced degrees are earned by women than men. That is a fact [again, go to NCES] and is something to celebrate! This mini-history lesson simply says we are all thirsty for learning and can readily recognize the benefits.

Single-again women, especially, would gain much towards their future if education became a priority. Some of us never had the chance to go to college. Some started college and were never able to finish for one reason or another. Life got in the way. We understand but it is never too late!

We can all find a way to make that dream come true. First, find out what you are naturally good at doing (there are plenty of books out there to show you how) because nothing is worse than working at a job for the rest of your life and hating every minute of it! By the way, if you are already retired, don’t think this doesn’t apply to you! There are plenty of life-long learning “fun” courses at your local community college. Remember, life-improvement never comes too late. It shows a lot of confidence and endurance on our part. We can handle more than we think. What else is more important?

Tip of the Day

One more tidbit about history: during the 1800s in New England, due to the lack of books, many believed it was necessary to study the Holy Bible, so both boys and girls were taught to read from it early. This began an unquenchable thirst for education.

Our Heavenly Father has a fascinating and supernaturally powerful instruction book for us that provides, among other things, wisdom, poetry, and history freely given. The Bible is a way to start building a new life. A life that teaches how to trust God, and gain once and for all, the real truth. It can help us understand all aspects of our lives as special women. He knows the best path to take in our quest to become what we always dreamed of was possible. The required reading in this “educational” course is compiled of sixty-six books into one complete lesson on love.

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (Proverbs 3:6 NLT).

Seeds of Faith

Poppy flower seeds

We can mentally believe in many things; some commendable and some ridiculous. For instance, an organizational society still believes the earth is flat! Really! All it takes for us to believe some things is a faith conviction that it is possible.

What about faith itself? Through wanted and unwanted experiences over the years, we now know that faith is built on trust and knowledge, plain and simple. It isn’t something we can see or touch and grab onto, but it is something unseen, like the wind. We can feel the wind rushing past our faces, and therefore, we believe it exists even though we cannot see it. A summer breeze feels wonderful as it cools us. A light wind clears and cleans the air we breathe. A stronger wind sails ships, moves windmills, and brings rainstorms to feed crops. Something we can’t even touch has a purpose in our life.

In the same way, we know what it “feels like” to trust someone and so, over time, we believe in the person; we place our faith in them. What we cannot afford to miss here is that just because one person breaks this cycle--causing hurt, frustration, and destruction--our faith itself is not broken, nor is it the cause of a broken relationship. And God is not the cause either. A human being is the cause. Our faith is still intact and is still part of who we are. It has gone through an extremely strong wind--a massive storm--but has survived!

As single-again women, we have already made it through the “storm” and endured the “lightning strikes” of pain and anguish. Our journey to a fresh start has not been easy by any means. But we found a way to grow a tiny mustard seed of faith and are watching it bloom large in our lives. Now we need to keep on growing and thriving. Keep adding to these four “seed” packets:

• We are stronger than we think: we have made it this far and are in one piece.
• We have a clear purpose: we are becoming familiar with unfulfilled dreams.
• We know which direction to take: going forward gets us to our destination.
• We can know and trust God: the Bible teaches us how to do this very thing.

Tip of the Day

No matter how many times our human relationships have hurt or deceived us, the Lover of Our Souls, Jesus, knows our heartache and pain. He was distressed and rejected by his friends and even his family. He was tormented and brutally tortured by his enemies. He gets us!

Jesus loved us enough to be willing to die for us. Can we say that about anyone we know? This is exactly why we can, with faith, believe in Him and trust in Him. Now, He simply holds out His right hand to comfort and guide us on this fresh start journey.

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible” (Matthew 17:20 NLT).

Valuable Masterpieces

No Two Alike, Where Are You?

It is obvious that mainly women tend to be the helpers and caregivers of the world. We certainly cannot deny this fact which has existed since the beginning of time. For example, statistics show that about ninety-one percent of registered nurses are women. That’s pretty amazing! In many professions, we naturally use our gifts to help others, and it could be said that we have a great capacity for compassion.

Whether we work in the medical field, police force, military, or are stay-at-home moms, teachers, or caregivers, some of us have witnessed “life or death” emergencies that called on all our resources to stay composed. So, in a true emergency, we must stay calm enough to at least call the ambulance.

We are, no doubt, stronger than we think. Some of us find we are fine in an emergency and then collapse later like a ragdoll. Others want to immediately look away for a moment, then pull in a breath and gain momentum for whatever we need to do. However we handle an emotional situation, we discover strengths we never knew we had. Through this kind of “testing,” we can grow and learn more about who we are and gather courage for the next time.

 
Struggling through the anxiety-filled days of divorce can feel like an emergency that just won’t stop. There are too many what-do-I-do-now dilemmas, one delay after another, and hard-to-handle decisions to make. Unfortunately, no doctor can prescribe a magic pill that will fix everything for us, so we are on our own to deal with the mess of a broken life. It may have been forced upon us, but even if we chose to end the devastation and abuse, we may still feel crushed.
 
Like a shattered dish, we too can be put back together stronger and better. True, maybe not in the very same way, but with a different and beautiful design much like an interesting mosaic made from broken stone or glass pieces. Beautiful. Strong. Colorful. A masterpiece that tells a joyful story. And, be assured, we each have our own unique story to tell. No two mosaics are the same! With the pieces of our story, we can move ahead with strength and dignity and add a new chapter. Creating a newly crafted life is not a waste, it is a work of art!

Tip of the Day

We are all the Masterpieces of a loving God. He created us to be exactly who
we are even before the moment of conception. Individuals. Unique. Beautiful. No one is just like us (it’s proven even identical twins have some differences). Our Creator is not willing to see our lives thrown away without effectively carrying out our purpose and plan, no matter what our current circumstances. Choose today to place the broken pieces into His able hands and live a life of joy!

 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed” (Psalm 34:18 NLT).

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13 NLT).
 

How to Create More Energy

Try something new!

"I just don't have the energy to (fill in the blank)." True, it is a struggle sometimes to find that perfect balance of liveliness and peacefulness. We want to get up and do things, but how, when we feel so drained? It's so much easier to just pull the covers over our heads or stay on the couch and watch the nineteenth episode of Excuse
Me--Pass the Potato Chips. [Not a real show].

The first thing we want and need is more energy in our lives. Admittedly, we may have to jump in and be willing to practice new habits. Today is a good day to have some fun and see how many crazy ideas we can come up with to keep the momentum going. It will give us a way to prepare for the more serious goals ahead. Ready to try?

1. Start playing soft music just as the sun is rising. This “sound” stimulation helps train our bodies to wake up.

2. Program the coffee maker to start spreading a delicious fragrance our way. Works every time.

3. Feed our brains with food like berries, avocado, or coconut. Eat them one at a time or together, your choice. And smile!

4. Guzzle some water! First thing in the morning is the best habit to create. It awakens our organs and prepares them for the day’s activities.

5. Protein for lunch will keep us awake for the afternoon long haul. By the way, it doesn't have to be the carnivorous type. The produce section will surprise you. For instance, one-half cup of assorted veggies equals 2.6 grams of protein. One stalk of broccoli equals 4.26 grams. And one medium potato is 5 grams.

6. Don't automatically hate this tip just yet, it works. No screens (TV, smartphone, tablet, computer) of any kind one hour before bed. Instead, read that novel you bought last month. Use an adult coloring book. Do relaxation techniques. Listen to soft music. You will sleep much better!

Tip of the Day

Have you ever heard, “Let go and let God.” Well, that's not what He said. True, the easy thing to do would be to convince ourselves to let God do all the work and He could just give us all the beneficial energy we need. Simple, right?

The true answer is God does have a perfect plan for us. He created us to use our energy as part of that wonderful plan. Listen to these wise words:

“With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort” (1 Corinthians 15:58 The Message).

Sure, some days will be outrageously more difficult than others. It is okay to take a needed break, but don’t just stay there. You’re strong--you can do this!

“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame...Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder” (Romans 12:11-12 The Message).