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We might even say we are in the mood to celebrate most anything since we are nearing the end of Covid-19 (eventually). It is starting to feel good! On the other hand, let’s not forget to hold up a candle and say a prayer honoring those we have lost in many disasters already this year.
No, we are not going to have a history lesson here today. We are simply saying that the celebration of America is more than just sparklers and fireworks (although those are lots of fun!). Instead, we want to point out that our lives can be a celebration too-- every day.
Now that we are out on our own and living as single-again women, what could we say is our greatest feeling of all? Would it be the peace we now enjoy? Would it be relief from all the chaos and verbal and physical abuse? How about freedom? All of these and more are a reason to celebrate and fill our hearts with unexplainable joy.
Our Own Independence Day
If our lives do
not exactly feel that way (yet), it is okay! We may still be mourning for a
life left behind even though that life wasn't what we imagined it should be way
back when. Now, think about this: all that freedom we talked about in the above
paragraph can be scary and maybe the reason that keeps us from moving
forward.
We have many difficult choices right now so it may seem easier to just turn back and grab for something that is no longer there, which only causes confusion and emptiness. But when we look at our own Independence Day and determine to move through the open doorway, we will see the possibilities for our best life on the other side. And our hearts will dance and sing!
The momentum that escorts us through that door is exciting. It is like riding a bicycle for the first time in many, many years. We won’t have time to look back but only to view the passing scenery. There are so many things to do, places to go, and plans to make that our days will fly by! Surely we have had ideas running around in our heads for years that we are now free to pursue.
“Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending” (Carl Bard aka Carl Sandburg, American writer, and editor).
The quote is a favorite because it displays an attitude of never giving up. If one thing does not work in our lives, we can always try another way. If going in one direction is frustrating, choose a friendlier path. Don’t allow anything to get in the way. Deep down, we know what we want. We must go after it. Today!
Anything Missing?
Congratulations!
We are on our way! Planning, experimenting, and seeking wise counsel are all
part of this new way to rebuild our lives. We may even want to find other women
who are traveling in the same direction. In fact, it is advisable to do so.
They may be struggling at the beginning or learning to navigate in the middle
or have nearly reached the finish line. So, someone who knows will be there to
come alongside to help.
The Bible says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT).
"A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song" (Proverbs 15:15 The Message).
Seeing Our True Selves
Other than
foods, when we consider how we affect others in our everyday conversations and connections,
we may make others think about the sour taste of lemons! It is a trait we may
wish to change, but sometimes, we do not even recognize we have such a
characteristic. An actor once said, “I don’t think of myself like other people
see me” and this could very well be true of all of us at certain times.
Mainly, we prefer to see ourselves as sweet and agreeable. Maybe most days we are just like that description. If we grew up with a mother or relative that we adored and sincerely loved, we wanted to be just like her. So, we imitated her gentle disposition and the manner in which she came into contact with friends, family, and strangers alike.
On the other hand, maybe exhibiting kindness, sweetness, and thoughtfulness was not our natural tendency and we had to really practice and work at the behavior. We did not have the adults around us that could demonstrate a good example of such a person. As adulthood approached with all its ups and downs, difficulties, and adversities, it changed us or, at the very least, brought out the worse in us.
The type of job one has trains us to become whatever a particular industry expects. Yes, employers do want employees who demonstrate kindness to customers or clients at all times, but global competition is the main focus in many--if not most--companies. From senior vice presidents and managers to waitresses, cab drivers, and grocery clerks, we all understand what it takes to keep a job.
Where There Is a Way
Unless we find
ways to relax, balance work and home life, and strive to enjoy life, our
opposing tendencies can get the better of us. We then, unknowingly, take it out
on each other. Instead of listening with courtesy, speaking with love, and
reaching out with forgiveness to each other, the measurement of our sour and
bitter attitude can and will turn others away from us. This is exactly the
opposite of what we really need in our lives, as we entirely miss the
opportunities to combat loneliness, experience love, grow in faith, and expand
hope. Pick one of these five and start there:
Love is All-Around
Changing long-lived
attitudes are certainly not easy. It takes practice day in and day out. The best
place we can transform our outlook on life is when we are spending quiet time
with God and finding out how much He loves us. Because when we discover and
understand His love for us, we can begin to love others too.
It is an everyday starting point, and God will not fail to bring us to a whole new level of peace and joy. The best news is we can communicate with God anyplace, anytime and it costs absolutely nothing other than minutes we carve out for our own well-being. He is waiting and He has the answers!
“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy” (Proverbs 14:10 NLT).
Then there are those of us who would rather keep our limbs intact for a while
and stick to ground sports. Whichever method of exercise we could choose, there
is always some degree of risk and, therefore, we need to get instruction and
then practice, practice, practice. Our bodies cannot stay healthy without some
kind of movement. We were made that way to last a lifetime.
Our Choice
Our hearts and minds are also fragile, inner parts to take care of. We have been through enough heartache to become experts at recognizing when we need to take a deep breath, seek out a friend, and just sit down and talk. We owe ourselves that much.
Nowhere does it say we have to go, go, go as if we are on a never-ending
treadmill. It is not only okay to slow it down and take a break, but also
strongly recommended that we do it for our own sanity. Let us just understand that
it takes some time to be able to live on our own successfully. To figure out
what to do and when to do it.
Establishing a daily routine will help. One reason why we cannot get out of bed
at times is because there is no reason to put our feet on the floor. It’s just simpler
to stay under the covers since we have nothing to do, no one else to take care
of, no purpose, and no short or long-term goals.
True, making breakfast for one is not necessarily exciting. But it does not
have to be that way. Vary the kind of food for each day if that sounds like
fun. Once a month or more, try eating out with a friend and sharing coffee and
conversation. Whatever it takes so we can look forward to the day will be worth
the effort.
Basic “Take Care” Instructions
There are many ways to get our adrenaline going each day. Start with a basic routine and build excitement into it little by little. Do not just sit around and let everyone else have all the fun!
Build in the Fun!
There are so many things to do with ourselves now that we are free to enjoy the good things. Once we learn we are able to create a new and different life, we will not have time to spend an extra minute in bed.
No Fear
There is absolutely no reason to fear anything we want to do. We have a heavenly Father who will guide us and keep us safe. God enjoys seeing us use the gifts He has freely given us. He also gave us the most important gift of spending eternity with Him when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. So, see. . .He has our backs!
“But as for me, I almost lost my footing. My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:2, 23, 26 NLT).
Now that we are coming to the end of the 2020 pandemic, many of us can relate
to the quote above. So, we should be careful what we wish for, right? We may
have hated our previous job and suddenly, it was gone!
Let's face it. No beating around the bush. Once we become single again, most likely we will need to either find an alternative income source or a regular job. Even if we have all the money we need (which may not last for long), sitting around with nothing to do is terribly boring, unproductive, and detrimental to our social life as we all experienced in 2020!
There are actually many benefits to taking a job or starting a whole brand-new career.
Try a little exercise and list as many advantages as possible. If we have
already been working for a while, maybe we are thinking of changing our job. That
is not a bad thing by any means. We have to take pride in our work and if it's
time to move on, we'll know it by the dissatisfaction we feel.
5 Perks Why Working Is Good for Us
The Wrong Thing at the Right Time
All of this may seem scary at first, but even if we have never worked before outside the home, there are ways to get started with that too. One of the first things to do is to find our strengths. If accounting is not our thing, taking a job as a bookkeeper would be a disaster. If we hate baking, working as a pastry chef would drive us crazy. If sales give us hives, selling cars would be a joke. Get the picture?
WHAT AM I GOOD AT? [Click Here to find out]
Next, we do not need to be told, education is important. If a degree is already on our shelf, then great--we need to get out the door and hit the pavement! If not, then, obviously, the key is to get educated in a field that is exciting for us. It may mean night school while we work elsewhere to pay the bills, but then what else do we have to do with our time? If we work hard at it, it will happen before we know it.
Who is Directing Us?
Some of us are planners from way back. Organizing is at the top of our list. Others
are definitely not in that camp! We need help for sure. What is really good to
know is that we do not need to do this alone. There are support groups,
counselors, and friends to call on when we are down in the dumps.
There is also One who cares about us more than anyone ever could. God knows
what we need (not want) the most and what is best for us. He sees the Big
Picture from beginning to end. The best we can do is look at our life with
blinders on. God is willing to direct our steps until we reach His ideal for
our perfect life. Our part is just to ask!
“Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs
16:3 NLT).
To start with, changing sheets on a bed should be one of the easier weekly tasks. Yet, it can become a major struggle to get behind a bed surrounded by three walls in a small bedroom, which actually creates a silly anger issue to develop. A scene like this can easily allow us to just “blow up” and overreact at even the littlest things that invade our lives.
Soak Up the Sunshine in Your Life
Sometimes, it
is our frustration or fear that turns a good day into an anxiety-filled boiling
pot. Or maybe we did not get enough sleep the previous night. All of what we
have to go through alone is sometimes overwhelming. We have no one to lean on,
no one to talk to, and no one who can help us to overcome all of our sticky
problems.
Yet, deep down inside, we know what we need the most. We need love. We need someone to say, "It's okay, let me do it." Wouldn't that be nice? We could take a break and a breath and call a friend for a short chat.
Simple Formulas Are Best
Although we may
not have a physical touch in our private lives, we can seek
appropriate love from others by being involved and helping someone else meet
a need. We grow into love like that. Just this weekend, two friends said they
are church greeters because they need [post-pandemic] hugs. Love that!
Getting involved regularly with our church ministries, kids’ schools, hospitals, or the many community organizations that seek volunteers will fill us with more love than we could ever imagine. Simple formula: give love, get love. It really does work!
“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:14 NLT).
"There are approximately only 325,574 veterans remaining of the 16 million
who served our nation in World War II. [US Dept of Veteran’s Affairs]. The
oldest living WWII veteran today is 110 years old!"
"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era
(Aug. 5, 1964-May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Administration]
"2.77 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and
Afghanistan since 2001, and over half of them have deployed more than once or
twice. Many times, that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as
spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved one's absence,
mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns."
[Watson-Brown University]
These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 245 years on our
own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our
Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].
Taking Our Heads Out of the Sand
Please understand,
no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we would not be enjoying American freedom
if it were not for our military. Remember, freedom is not free! Military
spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to
"hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. Never
knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else.
Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn
to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military.
Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They
deserve the respect and honor!
Living in the military sometimes takes its toll on women with devastating
results. "The divorce rate among both officer and enlisted men and women
over 2014 was 3.1 percent, only slightly higher than the 2005 rate of 3
percent. The newly released statistics show that the rate has steadily declined
since 2011 when it reached a high-water mark of 3.7 percent." [The
Pentagon, U.S. Dept of Defense]
Where is the Good News?
"In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent an even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War had not been fought, how much longer would African-Americans have had to suffer as slaves?
"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a
pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be
praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our
military, praying for a quick resolution to conflicts and praying for a
minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides."
For further study, click on this Link from GotQs.com:
