The Price Tag of Wisdom

Original objects of art seem to be of grand importance, especially to the ultra rich. They are testaments to the type of lifestyle that shouts of wealth, affluence, and opulence. And they are imitated all over the world. In 1978 at Sotheby’s in London, the greatest sum ever paid for art objects at one auction on one day totaled $11.8 million.  

Sure these material objects can be passed down as an investment in a person’s will, but one thing is sure: no one can take it with them when they die. Nor can we take any object with us at the time of death. Yes, it’s true, people have been buried with certain items, but they will no doubt stay in the ground.

The Older I Get

Much, much more valuable to us during our lifetimes is attaining wisdom. Wisdom is not only knowledge that we gain through education, but it is a sum total of all of our life experiences and natural abilities. In other words, even if one does not have the opportunity to go to college, wisdom is accumulated whether we know it or not.

Someone once said, “It is amazing how smart my parents get, the older I get.” Wisdom has a lot to do with this humorous statement and it’s true for both parties. We just keep gaining more and more wisdom as we age.

The best thing about wisdom is no one can take it away. It becomes a part of us when we use good judgement, along with common sense, to grow understanding about all things. We find the truth, discern the truth, and declare the truth to others. Along with wisdom, we use insight and our God-given gifts to create the right attitudes and beliefs.

We can feel good, really good, that in literature as well as the Bible, Wisdom is portrayed as a woman--the one who instructs. Could this be the reason why in our public schools 76% of teachers are women? Well, that fact may not have anything to do with teacher gender, but it would do us well to think of the value of wisdom in our lives.

Where’s the Price Tag?

How would we put a “price tag” on wisdom? Or could we? We know that wisdom is a quality that bolsters human nature and our relationships. Many “wise” people earn a lot of money in their professions, when they invest in stocks, or when they earn an inheritance, for example. Money, however, can be lost when people suffer layoffs, illnesses, or disasters. But they can still use their wisdom.

It takes a lot of hard work to make all types of relationships work, too. It requires extending a hand to help the other, in forgiveness, and in selfless acts of kindness. And still, it may end in irreconcilable differences on the home front, in the office, and in our neighborhoods. But they can still use their wisdom.

In all life’s circumstances, we can use our wisdom to make things better, if not now, than the next time. There really is nothing worth more than having wisdom. Without it, we have nothing else to fall back on, no foundation for goodness to grow, nowhere for truth to live. We can hold onto it, add to it, and take it with us wherever we go.

Our Gift

God knew from the beginning that we would need wisdom every single day. He offers this priceless gift to us for the taking. It’s already inside of us. All we need to do is ask Him daily to “turn the faucet on” so it will flow into us through His Holy Spirit. No need to bring your credit card!

Wisdom is more precious than rubies. Nothing you could want is equal to it. Proverbs 8:11 (NCV)

The Cure for Worry

Thankfully our days are created in twenty-four hour segments. If they were any longer, we may not be able to handle all of it. Of course, at times, we wish we had more hours in the day to get all the things on our To-Do lists done. But that is much like driving on one of those round-about traffic circles and not being able to get off.

Circles can be scary. Think of all those carnival rides that spin so fast our heads feel like exploding. Circular saws are dangerous enough to cut a finger off. And Merry-Go-Rounds on playgrounds can cause injuries. Where is the beginning and the end? That is how our days go when we do nothing but worry about the next thing we need to do, or what will happen if we don’t get somewhere, or what is happening with our children when really they are just fine.

There are thousands of things we constantly worry about without stopping. The trouble with that kind of thinking is the worries just pile up one upon the other from each day. Today we are still worrying about all the things we didn’t solve from yesterday. Add that to today’s problems, plus start stressing over tomorrow’s fears and “bingo” we have a major breakdown in the making.

Getting in the Right Lane

The good news is we always have a choice! We can choose a different way to handle our daily anxieties and stop our nagging mind from calling out for attention. It’s a habit we’ve created, or grown up with, that finally causes us enough pain that we want to do something about it.

Just as in solving any personal problem, it takes courage to change our lives for the better. We’ve already seen that take place in our lives when we moved on from one bad situation to a happier place. And there were plenty of worries one after another to handle, many times on our own. But we did it--we are here and thriving!

Our new lives can continue to improve if, with determination, we choose to find an answer to the worry that plagues us. It’s simply annoying and, instead of helping us to get things done as we might think, worry distracts us from accomplishing what we intend to do in the first place.

We are not saying that there will never be anything in our lives to care about again. Of course, there will be. But there is a difference between worry--which solves nothing and keeps us on that never-ending round-about--and concern, which involves us in the solution of a problem, either our own or another’s. Concern causes us to be troubled enough to get up and do something. And even to help someone find their own answer.

Slow It Down

So, how do we begin to change the pattern? First, we have to understand many of the worries we have are (wo)man-made. We load our days with way too many things to do. We get in a rush and cause accidents. We chase after more money and more things to keep up with the neighbors. We get in the way of the lives of others. Consider these:       

• Prioritize your To-Do list A (most important) to C (least important/back burner).
• Plan appointments allowing enough time for each. Don’t pile them up like blocks. It’s OK to say No when necessary.
• Simplify your home, finances, and wants (which are different than needs).
• Listen and support those you care about, but allow them to handle their own problems.

Final Step

We have one perfect cure for all our worries and that is God Himself. He already has a plan for our lives and He waits for us to stop stressing and trust Him, so He can send us blessings. Every single problem we face, He has the solution for us in the Bible. All we really need to be concerned about is our souls, rather than the cares of the world.

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.  Matthew 6:34 (NLT)

Where Can You Find Comfort?

Pick a favorite means of comfort. For many it is the luxurious, fragrant, deep warm water of a bath to soak in for hours, especially after a stressful day. Or as the candy companies already know, melting-in-the-mouth chocolate is a definite favorite. Maybe it’s a bowl of popcorn. A cozy bed with lots of blankets and clean sheets in a cool room can put some into deep, relaxing sleep. To make it even better with complete solitude and silence, try ear plugs and a sleep mask--heavenly!

There are thousands of ways to feel comfort. Some good: think snuggling with a good book. Some are detrimental to our health: excesses of any kind. As single-again women, sometimes it's difficult to find the comfort and affection we need and long for on a regular basis. So what positive things can we do to correct this situation?

Different Is Good

First, let's stop and remember, we have a brand new life now. It will not be the same as in the past. And that's not always a bad thing, just a different thing. It's been said that many women are lonelier within their marriages than when they divorce. Is that true? Yes, there is a definite difference between being lonely and being alone. One is positive and one is negative. We know which one is which.  

So let's get creative and find what will best make us comfortable. Start with the home. Does it need an uplifting fun color on the walls of some rooms? How about in the bedroom? It's usually suggested to stick with calm, neutral colors or pastels, especially blue. Definitely not bright eye-blinding colors unless we want to stay up all night with the owls.

The furniture could be the next thing. Like a deep comfy sofa that "hugs" us. Yes, yes, we know there are those who love leather. But practically speaking here about comfort and coziness, that choice seems to be cold in the winter and sweaty hot in the summer. That would be torture for some, but let’s smile, it's all in our individual choices and that’s okay. Just have fun with it all! Get some good ideas by clicking on this link:

Calm and Happy Home Ideas

Common Sense and Hugs

Aside from all that revamping of our surroundings (which is important to our general well-being), how about the actual physical side? Of course, if we choose, there may be dating possibilities on the horizon, but that discussion is best left to a professional psychologist. Except to simply say, stay safe. No one will take care of us like ourselves. We are precious in God's sight and He loves us. He also gave us common sense, so let’s just make a pact to use that in large quantities.   

The foundation for a good life is to surround ourselves with friends and family. People who support our decisions and are not stingy with hugs. Friends who will be there when we are having a bad night to hold our hand while we get used to our fabulous new journey. And if there are children still in the house, just hug them. They will hug back for sure. They will feel loved as much as we do.

One thing is for absolute certain. The Bible says God is there to hold our hand anytime we need it; day or night! That's called Comfort with a capital "C." Hang tight, there’s no tricks or catches. Just ask Him and He will reach out with a very strong hand for as long as we need it.

Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Psalm 37:24

Feet, Hands, and Heart

There are some who have built up enough courage to attempt the sport of rock climbing. Indoor or outdoor, climbing is a vertical risk (combined with horizontal moves), but it does offer fitness and fun with a heavy dose of adrenaline. Done right, a beginner will seek out instruction and a guide first. And, yes, as in any sport, there is certain equipment to obtain like special climbing shoes, helmet, harnesses, carabiners, ropes and chalk for a good grip. Oh, and don’t forget the crash pads!   

Then there are those of us who would rather keep our limbs intact for a while and stick to ground sports. Whichever method of exercise we could choose, there is always some degree of risk and, therefore, we need to get instruction and then practice, practice, practice. Our bodies can not stay healthy without some kind of movement. We were made that way to last a lifetime.

It’s Up to Us

Our hearts and minds are also fragile, inner parts to take care of. We have been through enough heartache to become experts at recognizing when we need to take a deep breath, seek out a friend, and just sit down and talk. We owe ourselves that much.

Nowhere does it say we have to go, go, go as if we are on a never-ending treadmill. It’s not only okay to slow it down and take a break, it’s strongly recommended that we do for our own sanity. Let’s just understand that it takes some time to be able to live on our own successfully. To figure out what to do and when to do it.

Establishing a daily routine will help. One reason why we can not get out of bed at times is because there is no reason to put our feet on the floor. It’s just more simple to stay under the covers since we have nothing to do, no one else to take care of, no purpose, and no short or long-term goals.

True, making breakfast for one is not necessarily exciting. But it does not have to be that way. Vary the kind of food for each day if that sounds like fun. Once a month or more, try eating out with a friend and sharing coffee and conversation. Whatever it takes so we can look forward to the day will be worth the effort.

Strap On a Harness

There are many ways to get our adrenaline going each day. Start with a basic routine and build excitement into it little by little. Don’t just sit around and let everyone else have all the fun!

Basic “Take Care” Instructions  

• Soon as the feet hit the floor, drink eight ounces of room temperature water to get organs moving (with lemon, if wanted). Set it out the night before. Remember, ice cold water causes the body to work harder to warm it up to internal body temperature.  
• Try a new soap and jump in shower to wake up while the coffee/tea is brewing.
• Easy breakfast: protein bar or cheese plus a favorite fruit. Really, it’s the most important meal of the day to avoid “crashing” mid-morning.
• Check your calendar, digital day planner or whatever device available to keep a schedule of daily activities. This is imperative even if unemployed at the moment.    

Build in the Fun!

• Sign up for Zumba, hiking, biking, or join a swim class to train the body to move.
• Plan a lunch with a friend once a month.
• Add restful activities like cooking, baking, an art class, or book club.
• Balance life by volunteering at a non-profit organization to help someone in need.    

There are so many things to do with ourselves now that we are free to enjoy the good things. Once we learn we are able to create a new and different life, we won’t have time to spend an extra minute in bed.

No Fear

There is absolutely no reason to fear anything we want to do. We have a heavenly Father who will guide us and keep us safe. God enjoys seeing us use the gifts He has freely given us. He also gave us the most important gift of spending eternity with Him, when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. So, see. . .He has our backs!

But as for me, I almost lost my footing. My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:2, 23, 26 (NLT)

How to Change Your Outlook

What's in your bucket?

In a churchyard in Wales, there are the words, “Here lieth the body of William Edwards of Cacreg, who departed this life 24th February, Anno Domini 1668, age one hundred and sixty-eight.” This man must surely have had a secret that the rest of us do not know about living and dying.

Many people do, in fact, want to live for a very long time, but maybe not that long! Some of us would simply enjoy having a life where we had enough time to accomplish everything on our “bucket list.”

[Just for fun, CLICK on the following message from September 2016]:

Momentum Bucket List

The Next 50

Truly, no one would likely want to spend the rest of their life working at their jobs or professions much past retirement age. Of course, that number varies widely. Some retire early, excited to begin their next great adventure. And some stick with working until someone or something pushes them out the door. There may also be a valid financial need that keeps us there. However we handle our later years, will depend on what we did or did not do with the first 50 years.

One thing to realize right away is that it is never too late for an adjustment, no matter which decade we live in right now. There are numerous books available that explain that very fact. Especially in our single-again lifestyle, we may absolutely need to find a different way to do things. We are not alone. Many, many people have gone through devastations of all kinds and have had to start over.

Losing jobs through layoffs, bankruptcies, house fires, weather catastrophes, and illnesses are just some of the many examples of having to pick ourselves up off the floor and begin again. We are reminded of the story of “getting back on the horse” after falling off. Somewhere down deep inside ourselves there is a reservoir that has been left untapped for this exact season of our life.

When we try, really try, and not give up, we will find new ways to do things, resources we didn’t know we had, friends who will come through for us, help from all directions, and a sense of peace at the bottom of that well. The key to all this is not just sitting back and having a pity party, but standing on our own two feet, dusting off our behinds, and putting that foot right back in the stirrup. When others see this in us, they will want to join our “party.”

No Time to Waste

Nothing is more attractive than succeeding when life wants to knock us down like fence posts. Soon, we will not even remember what “disaster” feels like. We will be too busy organizing and arranging our lives just the way we have dreamed they could and should be. It’s true! This is not a fantasy, it’s our life. We don’t have time to ignore the possibilities waiting for us. One absolute fact: no one else will do it for us, but they will want to jump in and be a part of it.            

Once we are on our way and can relax, then we can help others going through exactly what we did. The experience and knowledge we now have is a valuable commodity. We can use our gifts and talents to find a unique way to walk alongside another woman. From just simple ideas of encouragement, we can make someone’s life turn around for good.

Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. Psalm 34:12, 14 (NLT)

Where Are We Going Today?

Look at those eyes!

When someone is smart, we call them “wise as an owl.” But when referring to a person in that manner, we could make an enemy real quick. That is because owls, according to those who work with them, know the owl can not be trained to do even the simplest of tasks. Unlike parrots, hawks, pigeons, or even our parakeets, who all can be taught to do a variety of amazing feats, owls are what we might lovingly refer to as stupid, as in unable to learn anything.

Without even knowing, we have used this common phrase solely based on how the owl species look. It’s all in their extremely large eyes compared to the size of their much smaller head. They just look like they are focusing and paying attention to us, so we equate that with intelligence. Especially when they have to turn their entire head to look at something!

Who Knew?

There are many, many things we do not know about a lot of things. Most of us can readily admit to that idea, even though there has always been a myth that we only use ten percent of the brain. Actually, numerous scientists have proved otherwise. Recently,  John Henley, a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, stated, "Evidence would show over a day you use 100 percent of the brain". It’s just that at any one time during the day, we may only use ten percent.

And the Point Is. . .

Nothing is more distasteful than a person who constantly tries to point out his/her knowledge of every single subject. It seems they lack perhaps not intelligence, but a sense of humility in all things. They seem to have lost the ability to judge their own importance.

We may have experienced this type of person in our last relationship. Nothing we did or said made any difference to him at all. Our values and opinions were unimportant and we were made to feel small. And this may have not just happened in our home, it could happen at the place where we work or with friends and even family.

The truth is that cleverness and what we call “smarts” is considered most attractive in the world. We see it in the news, sitcoms, and the movies all the time. It makes for superb ratings. Now do not misunderstand. We are definitely not talking about authentic education and earning well-deserved degrees with accolades. That is to be rewarded!

The subject here is the antics and nonsense that goes on with someone who is trying to convince others of how much they know. Of making sure we understand that they are right and there is no discussion of the matter. They get the last word above all. Those of us who have been through such a relationship, know we have to make the hard choices.

God Knows and Understands Us

The only One who truly knows our value is Jesus. He is the Humble One who loves us beyond all imagination. Be assured He was right there when we were being beaten down, cheated on, and tossed out. He got us to where we are now--standing on our own two feet ready to have Him as our only Master.

Know that we are not owls. . .we are God’s W.O.R.D.: Women of Renewed Devotion (c)!

For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say, “He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness.” 1 Corinthians 3:19 (NLT)

What Role Do You Play As A Mom?

A five-year old boy asked his grandma, “Why do bad kids at school always want to be bullies?” The grandma said, “They want to be the boss and take over.” The boy says, “Then why don’t they become moms?” Kids say the most darling and funny things!

The month of May we celebrate moms because someone once said, “Once a mom, always a mom” which is so very true. But hang in with us as there will be plenty of topics for those who have not spent sleepless nights with a crying baby or had to leave work in the middle of a project when the school principal calls with yet another incident. Our hearts can still have plenty of love for all children we come into contact.  

Steps and Stages

The stages we go through with momhood will forever be in our minds. Who does not have one or even two baby books to mark every occasion with a wisp of hair or the first tooth. Plenty of photos at birthday parties, holidays, and everyday outings at the playground.

Of course, we can all understand that with the first baby (after the initial shock of becoming a mom) we can find time to get the ideal photo shoot, plan the perfect birthday party, and attend all the mom/baby activities we can stand. But this becomes more and more difficult as we have the second, third, or even fourth child. Time just melts away and before we know it, our child is graduating college.

How do other moms make it look so easy? There are surely numerous and individual ways we can become the best parent we can be. It is advisable to search what the experts say about parenting and to stay informed on the subject of parenting. It is nearly impossible to do this alone; we need others!

Note: Because this blog author is not an expert or a parenting professional, we will simply share some of the best sources on parenting. These are provided in the case you wish to look further in your own search and share with other moms, too.

What is the definition of a “good” parent?

Webmd.com provides a basic explanation to consider:

Never give up! Bloom strong!

“Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness, says Steinberg. It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve. It helps protect children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse.”

Thinking about all that can be overwhelming! Then again, if we feel we need to transform or readjust what we are already doing, it may challenge us to bigger and better things. There is always room for improvement in the parenting circle.

Parents magazine has another viewpoint:

“The key to raising a well-rounded child is to establish a solid support system at home so that she grows up satisfied with her achievements and ambitions. "The goal as a parent is to help your child feel competent and confident, and to help her develop a sense of passion and purpose," says Susan Stiffelman, MFT, an educational therapist and author of Parenting Without Power Struggles. It's the education that happens before she sets foot into school that is crucial in bringing up such a child.” [Of course, this refers to both boys and girls.]

Organizations to help moms: [CLICK on Link]

Single Moms

Where Moms Connect

Today's Christian Woman

Focus on the Family

No doubt about it, being a mom is extremely hard! No one knows that better than another mom. Getting connected with a group for moms (usually through your local church) is one of the best things you can do as a mom. So, don’t be shy. They are waiting for you!

His Favorite Thing

One of the best examples of love and kindness towards children was demonstrated by Jesus Himself. True, He definitely was not a mom! But because He is God, He is a Father. Our heavenly Father. So He knows what you are feeling when you wonder  if you are doing all you can for your child. He can be your very best Friend in your most important role. Be sure to include Him in all your ways and days!

One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left. Matthew 19:13-14 (NLT)