Is Worry Ruining Your Life?

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The Big What If 
Sending our young ones off to school or even our young adults off to college is a nerve-racking experience, especially for moms. It’s a tense moment to realize they are at the age where they can walk out the door without us on their heels and without us making most of their decisions for them. We can barely wait until they return home.

The day has finally arrived where we must put our trust in our children to do what they have been taught. But this doesn’t make it any easier for us. We quickly turn to worry about all sorts of things that might happen to them. It’s the big What if? It gets us every time! What if. . .they lose their lunch money? What if. . .they get lost and don’t know where to go? What if. . .their primary college class is canceled? What if. . they get the worst roommate? What if. . .someone hurts them outside of class? Sometimes, it goes on and on until we see them again.

Two Sides of the Coin

However, there is a distinct difference between worry and concern. Whether it is children, our job, finances, or finding a new home, worry produces no immediate answers. It only causes us to think non-stop about all the problems and fears we can imagine. Our mind is so busy with this task, we can not get anything else done. Worry provides no viable solution and it feels like we are being choked.

On the other hand, concern uses our feelings of being interested in and caring about someone or something, so we can actively find a way to be helpful--rather than smothering--in our relationships. So we can work out the problem and come up with a plan that moves us forward. Concern moves us to place our trust in that other person believing they can now handle their own lives.

In a nutshell, worry is inactive and unable to change anything, except to damage our health. Whereas concern participates in bringing about solutions and is busy finding the most appropriate ways for us to show our love or to handle the most complicated matters. It’s two sides of the same coin.

Ripples in Motion

How might we practice or train ourselves to use concern, rather than worry, in any situation? Just know, we understand it’s not easy to break unpleasant habits like worrying, but just like with any “addiction,” once we conquer the “enemy,” we win the “war!” We could start with one of the following ideas and practice it until it becomes natural. Then move on to the next (no particular order). The ripple effect will be amazing! You also may have some great ways of your own to add to the list:

Involvement. Think about joining a mom’s or women’s group. They are great for talking things out with others in the same situation.

Engage. Now that the house is quiet, find a new job or register for a community college class in an area that piques your interest. Get excited!

Ask. If there is a complicated problem, there is no shame in asking someone who knows for assistance. Be brave! There is always a handy person, teacher, neighbor, or family member willing to pitch in and help.

Inquire. Find out the procedure ahead of time if your child gets sick at school, needs tutoring, or can’t find their way. Have a plan.

Trust. This is the difficult one but will benefit not only you but also anyone else involved. Once we have done everything we can, it’s time to let go. This creates positive feedback and encourages responsibility.

Getting Smarter

We have all been given exactly what we need to make life work. It’s just that we often never use our own abilities and numerous gifts God has given us. Maybe we don’t have enough trust in ourselves or are too shy to try something different. God never wants us to worry. In fact, He insists on it knowing how destructive worry can become.

Instead, He has provided His own solutions to our problems. He encourages us to practice going to Him first in prayer. Each day will be less stressful if we “check in” with God and ask for His help for the upcoming day whatever it might include. We pray for not only ourselves, but our children, family, friends, neighbors, city, state, nation, and the world in general. Then, His answers come through to us as we read His answer in the Bible. It’s God's best way of communicating with us. And it works!

“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27 NLT.