Who Do You Believe and Trust In?

Purple sky

We are mentally able to believe in many things. Some commendable and some ridiculous. There remains a society that believes the earth is flat! In 1995, a patent was given for a Fork Alarm to time one’s eating! Now there’s something we could use. How many people do we know that are superstitious? All it takes to believe some things are a faith conviction that it is possible. 

More reasonable, however, we often believe people we know rather than strangers or even celebrities. Our parents probably had an influence on us, and we believed they could do just about anything (based on how much we trusted them). Growing up, teachers, grandparents, siblings, friends, and pastors were on our list of those we trusted. We may or may not have had a spouse we could trust, until one day we couldn’t anymore for many good reasons including lack of integrity and dishonesty.

What About Faith?

Faith in someone’s character, therefore, is built on trust and knowledge. It isn’t something we can see or touch, but it is something that is unseen, like the wind. We can feel the wind on our skin and see it moving a tree branch or leaf, and so, we believe it exists. We know what it “feels like” to trust someone and so, over time, we believe in that person.   

The Bible tells us “faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.” Of course, that statement is not to be taken literally. It is just pointing out that it takes very little true faith in something or someone to believe in possibilities.

As single-again women (and that includes divorced, widowed, and single moms), we have already “jumped over” many hurdles and stumbling blocks in our way on the road to possibilities. Our fresh start journey has not been easy by any means. But we found a way to grow that tiny mustard seed, and now we are watching it bloom large in our life. And we must keep on growing and thriving. So, how do we do that?

Seven Proven Faith Possibilities

1. We are stronger than we think: we have made it this far and are in one piece.
2. We have seen the worse in someone: we know that trust is built up over time.
3. We have a clear purpose: we are starting to recognize unfulfilled dreams.
4. We know which direction to take: going forward gets us to our destination.
5. We know the risks: lack of faith in God leads to danger.
6. We recognize where faith originated: just like the wind, we can believe in Jesus.
7. We can know and trust God: the Bible teaches us how to do this very thing.

He Gets Us!

No matter how many times our human relationships have hurt or deceived us, our Lord Jesus knows our heartache and pain. He was distressed and rejected by his own friends and family. He was tormented and tortured by his enemies. He gets us!

The Bible: God's Word

Jesus loved us enough to be willing to die for us. And this is exactly why we can, with faith, believe Him and trust in Him. Now, He simply holds out His right hand to comfort and guide us on this fresh start journey.           

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes” (Mark 9:23 NLT).

Do You Want to Build a Peaceful Life?

Strive for Peace 

Today we celebrate the birthday and achievements of Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a Baptist minister whose passion drove him to publicly support peace and non-violent means to end segregation in America during the 1960s. He was both admired and despised, esteemed and insignificant, prominent and an instigator.

However we choose to view him and what he stood for, we must admit he wished for nothing but change to come. For peace to rule our nation. For discrimination to be wiped out. MLK was eventually awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964. Four years later he was assassinated.

Where Exactly is Peace Found?

All of us must work hard at creating peace in our lives. Single-again women may find it even more difficult right after a breakup or divorce, but it can be done if we don’t give up! The rewards are worth it. Let's consider some practical ways to start building our most peaceful life now.

·                     Just like the support groups repeat at each meeting, it's important to take one step at a time. That’s not just a cliché because rushing through this period in our lives will make for a shaky foundation. Start with whatever is most important right this moment. Is it a job? A better or more appropriate place to live? A new passion? Finding new friends? Tackling one victory at a time will not be so overwhelming.

·                     Find the positives every day. Go forward, not left, right, or backwards. Dwelling on all the mess of the past and how hard it is to get out of bed, will not get us anywhere. Before snuggling under the nightly covers, make a small “To-Do” list of no more than three things. Set the alarm, program the coffeemaker, schedule the calendar to get moving after waking. If it helps, we can turn on happy music when cleaning the house. There are a million ways to make this happen. Now, things are looking up!

·                     Build a community of people to depend on. A new single-again life requires single-again friends to do things with and to call on when we need help. They have been in our shoes. They know how to do this thing called "living." Welcome their invitations to go places or to join a club and find a new hobby.

·                     We know that mistakes happen. Don’t freak out, just learn from them or else risk repeating them and, who wants that? Get on our computers and read up on how to build positive lives. Try several new ways to make this happen because everything we’ve tried in the past may not have worked out. Our confidence will soar as we see results!

·                     No fantasies! They aren't real and will only cause us frustration. If having a large mansion isn't in the budget right now, find something that is beautiful and that we can be proud of showing. Simple is good. Anyway, it's trendy to go "minimalist" in the decorating arena. Two hundred and fifty dollar jeans are not reasonable; only shop the "sale" racks (or better yet, discount stores) for clothes.

·                     Know that true and lasting peace only comes from God. He has been called the Prince of Peace so His intervention in our lives will make everything right in our world. Without Him, difficulties will continue to pile onto each other, and we will get lost once again. He's there. He has the answers. Let’s not leave Him out of our plans.

The Icing on the Cake: Patience

None of the above tips will work without Patience as a companion. Take a breath and remember these two truths:

Challenges - we grow and mature through the "ugly stuff" in our lives. Yes, there is a reason for everything we experience; no one is exempt. Even a rose has thorns! We can find our purpose for the thorns in our sides, if only we show a little tenacity and patience. We can do this!

Attitudes - how we react and treat others with patience will amaze them. Break the mold and be willing to display the kind and loving woman inside. It's really contagious!

“For the Scriptures say, ‘If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days…Search for peace, and work to maintain it” (1 Peter 3:10-11 NLT).

“I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance…” (Rev 2:2a NLT).

Will Your New Home Feel Just Like Your Old Home?

Your Own Safety Zone

The oldest house in America, built in the year 1637 in Massachusetts, still stands after eight generations of families. What amazing construction and solid foundation it obviously had from the beginning, and, there wasn’t even any Home Depot in those days! The owner (architect) surely required the workers (builders) to listen to his direction and wise expertise. The result still remains!

Attempting to build our own haven--our safety zone--without the correct tools, materials, and know-how will quickly shake our foundation to the core. We want our new life to stand on its own for a very long time. Like a home built on solid rock. We want to do all we can to protect and secure a better future.

  

Blueprint Examiner

Putting some effort into finding out what went wrong in our past, will prevent us from repeating the same mistakes. It will give us insight into how to readjust and improve our thinking and actions in any new relationship. This is not a “blame and shame” game. There is no room for that here. This is an honest look at the blueprint that wasn’t right for us from the beginning.

We start by asking ourselves some hard, but important questions. We are all different women with unique situations. So, the answers must come from our own open, frank, and sincere observation of ourselves. Additionally, it’s always a good idea to speak with a counselor. Without spending time finding the answers to the following questions, the “new” home will mysteriously feel just like the “old” home.

·                     What steps have been taken to heal?

·                     Are there still problems to resolve?

·                     What unmet personal goals do we need to work on?

·                     Are we ready yet for another relationship?

·                     How long ago did we meet this new man?

·                     Have we spent family dinners, holidays, and get-togethers with him?

·                     Do we have the same faith, beliefs, likes, and dislikes?

·                     Have we prayed for discernment in this relationship?

·                     Have we seen him at his best, as well as his worse?

·                     If there are children, do we get along with each other’s children?

·                     Is there affection on both sides?

Build your best life!

These are by no means all the issues to consider when approaching another marriage in the future. We are smart women and now know what we need in a relationship, and what we don’t. How we get the relationship God intends for us will require caution, personal examination, and daily conversation with God.

    

Get the Best Architect

God wisely advises us to listen to Him and follow His direction. He asks this of us so that we will be protected under His loving hand. . .so that we will have adequate shelter from the storms of life that threaten to destroy us.

The best blueprint for our home on earth is recorded in the pages between Genesis through Revelation in the Bible. Be sure to check this Answer Book.          

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock” (Matthew 7:24 NLT).

What Is Your Best Asset?

Looking forward

Most vehicles normally can go forward as well as backward. We've seen trains travel in reverse in order to either switch tracks or connect with a different car or caboose. But they most certainly do this quickly in order to go forward which is their main purpose to get to a new destination. 

Obviously, our cars go forward and backward so we can maneuver properly in and out of garages, parking spaces, and so forth. Yet both trains and cars constantly deal with the danger of traveling backward and avoiding an accident. Amazingly, planes have no way to move in reverse! They can only go forward on the ground. And believe it or not, crash statistics show flying is the safest way to travel. Now there is something to remember in the New Year!

Happy New Year 2020
This is a brand new year and we are tempted to look back over 2019 to reminisce about things that have happened to us. True, we do need to learn lessons from yesterday, but constantly dwelling on every regrettable past event is a danger to our future and like a train traveling backward unable to stop!

We can imagine what would happen if that occurred. Derailment. An alarm should go off in our heads right about now. We simply cannot move forward with our new lives while we are simultaneously stumbling backward. It's so much more exciting to travel ahead and see the sites!

This is perhaps the best chance we will get this year. A chance to celebrate and then make plans for a better future. Why wouldn’t we want all that? In fact, we may already have vague plans in the back of our minds that we wish to activate but are not quite sure how to go about it. Or maybe we haven't found the time yet to think about plans. (Careful. Don't look backward!)

With five days already into 2020 (and a new decade!), it's time to start our newly acquired single-again life or at least another year into our single-again life. Whatever we choose to do, let’s not just sit there until we hear the radio announcer say, “Only 23 days until Christmas!” Grab a pen and notebook or journal and make some notes—we’re in this together. Here we go:

You think you have problems?

Clear thinking is an asset. Avoid vagueness in making plans. Instead, be specific and strive for developed ideas. Write down just one specific sentence or short paragraph that describes an ideal situation. I want to work in the business world (vague). I am going to apply for the digital marketing position at ExploreTech this week (specific). This gets the idea out of our brains and onto paper where we can see it and start planning. 

Something new. Be open to new possibilities. Working at jobs we did not enjoy in our past gives us a clue what not to do if we want to be happy. List three ideas to try even if it means accepting a temporary entry-level position. More satisfaction, less stress until that promotion comes along.

Build relationships. It may be time for a few new friends (while hanging on to some good, loyal friends), especially those in the same situation. They are out there if we look for them! We might discover someone who likes what we like at a new job, a friendly neighbor, or supportive Christian friends. 

Face Forward
Looking back into our past keeps God from moving us forward. Repeat that sentence out loud! Write it on the refrigerator. Even before we were born, God made good plans for us, not plans for disaster (that was human error). He's just been waiting for us to face forward and listen. With God all things are possible. Nothing is too difficult for him even miracles to help us recover from our messy lives. Therefore, we need him in our corner, especially now. Just ask him—he loves helping us! 

"May he grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed" (Psalm 20:4 NLT).