Can You Make It Through the Fog?

We may ask, Is my life ever going to be right again? How are we supposed to get back to normal--whatever that is--after such a devastating and heart-breaking ending? Certainly it would be much easier to just throw up our hands and scream, It’s never going to be the same again, so why try?

It does appear that way when we can't see past the fog of change. We naturally resist transformation in any form, whether it's good for our hearts, minds, and souls or not. But, here's the stinging question: do we really want the same unloving relationship? The one with no affection? The one that lost its electrifying connection? No, of course not. We'd like to have the one we married. But not the morphed version. Never that!

Brick Walls Can Hurt!

Then, the sun comes out and we see the light! Every single person on the face of this earth shifts and shuffles from day to day. Minute by minute. Inch by inch. The irony lies in the fact, we can not change each other. Ever. Practice saying that out loud! We can only change ourselves and our response to that person.

Each individual has to look in the mirror and say, I've got a problem, and I need to fix it. Until that happens, no improvement can be expected. It's like banging our head against a brick wall. Useless. And it hurts! Pain isn’t what we want deep down inside.

Our own brick house!

What we want is to take those bricks. . . and throw them? No. We didn’t say that, now did we? Those bricks are useful for building a better life, not for re-arranging our skulls! The best life for us at this particular time and place. What that architecture looks like will be different for each one of us.

• Some of us will seek and share a new, mature relationship with all the perks.
• Some will plant a seed and grow on an individual level first.
• Some will find that outlets for creative expression in education, work, and extracurricular activities are more important to them at the moment.

There are no incorrect blueprints here. Only that we never let the momentum stop!

Who Can We Talk to About Our Plans?

‘Fear not, dear child of mine,’ God says with outstretched arms. ‘I am here. If you will only let me, you will see how this will all work out. Let's sit down and talk.' Can't we just see and hear Him saying that to us?

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. Jeremiah 29:11-12 (The Message)

Before, During & After: You Are Not Alone

Time is an elusive period that is hard to explain. As much as we would want to hold our best moments for just a little bit longer, we can't make time stop. It never goes away, but yet we can't make it start either. Sure, babies are born and so their "time" starts. And we have clocks and watches to adjust, but we still can't make time stop. It is a continually moving piece of our existence. We don't even know what the very next moment will bring to our lives and relationships!

Before, During and After

Believe it or not, some relationships finally end their time on a "friendly" note. Actually, it is more of a mutual agreement after many years of arguments, avoidance, and altercations. A war of words that existed with no solutions. One person trying to work it out using all possible means to do so. And one person passively pushing the other into an unwanted decision. In this particular case, it seems time does end. The clock for this moment stops.   

However, many, if not most, rocky relationships go through a very real and scary time when a woman needs to get away from someone who wants to harm her, either physically or emotionally. For her own safety--and that of any children--she must find a way to escape in one way or another. In the end, with great determination and difficulty, it can be done.

In either scenario, we stop and ask, What now? Who can I depend on? Eventually, we find out the answer is not in giving up (which only makes things worse), but in humbling ourselves and reaching out. Reaching out, maybe for the first time in our lives to sympathetic family, friends, neighbors and even strangers who have answers and can help in concrete ways.

Connecting: You Are Not Alone

There are many decisions to make when a relationship ends. Sometimes, we don't even think of many of the most necessary connections right away. But, the sooner, the better for our well-being.

So, just to get the ball rolling, we could start with these four immediate contacts:

1. Real Estate Agent - whether you keep or need a place to live, start here.

2. Lawyer - don't try to negotiate this divorce alone! Costs can be worked out.

3. CPA - finances are all important now. Get a professional to mediate.

4. Counselor - for the complex times ahead, accept the guidance available.

There are many, many organizations to offer practical assistance in all sorts of ways. Try these two:

Women Helping Women CLICK HERE

Before, During, and After Help CLICK HERE

The First and Foremost

It took some of us years to find the very best One to make things right in our lives. So, to save much struggling, anguish, and loneliness, don't hold back. Reach for the one and only God who is the very definition of love. Contrary to what some may think, He didn't cause our situation or pain. But He does extend a strong right hand that will hold us up, hold us secure, and simply hold us through each star-filled night. We can never go wrong holding His hand. He promises!

I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely. Psalm 63:8

Your Tool Box For a New Life

Nothing shouts of more hope than gaining freedom. It is a precious gift! Countries are birthed with it after many painful struggles. Ideas are released with it as our eyes are opened and we see a new vision. And lives begin a new journey with exciting plans for the future.

Wherever we are beginning this New Year, we can celebrate our freedom from whatever was holding us back. With a little effort and determination, we will move forward and find ways to experience joy in the small, and not so small, things. Even if we have not had that first cup of coffee or tea!   

Trampling Through the Briar Path

This joy may be easier for some women to attain; they have trampled through the briar path for a while and are now anxiously looking forward to escaping the "thorns." Others may be asking how this could even be possible after all the heartache and turmoil of the past year. It's definitely blinding to turn from the thickness of dark and see bright light; to scratch our way to the surface and remain intact.

Acknowledging we are not that person any more, but new women with new lives will help to get us started. It's up to us now to create something better, something hopeful. We really are stronger than we think. We've made it this far, haven't we? That didn't happen by accident.

There are some tools to make our struggle to create a better life easier. Our willingness to try is all it takes. Sure, we will make mistakes along the way and we will learn. No one is asking us to be perfect!

The Tool Box for a New Life  

• Build a support team. Share struggles with those we trust to be there. 
• Ask for help. We can't always do everything by ourselves. 
• First things first. Organize and get rid of what we don't need from the past. 
• Make plans. Find a place to live and work that will truly make us happy.
• Dream. There are goals we've always wanted to accomplish. Now is the time!

Our very best lives are found when we welcome God into our lives. Because He loves each and every one of us for who we are right now, He offers complete and forever freedom when we ask Jesus to become our Lord and Savior.

Now, let's grab hold of that promise and be determined to start a new journey!

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Cor 5:17

What Great Ideas Are on Your Horizon?

Have you ever gone down a misguided path and fell into a big "hole" that was hard to get out of? (Or was that Cinderella?) At any rate, taking a risky turn in life is pretty common. We choose the worse college for our needs, the most undesirable location to live in, the craziest career, immoral friends, and sometimes, the unfaithful mate. Many times, we don't figure this life menu out until it's nearly too late. Or so we think.


The truth is, it's never too late to make changes for the better. Some changes are quite easy to make like switching colleges and taking classes elsewhere. Moving from one city to another might take more planning, but it can be done fairly easy. A little more difficult is changing careers, but it will be worth it. And, of course, the most difficult of all is moving on from a marriage. This particular change is never advisable without seeking professional help first. After everything in our power has been done to make peace and save the relationship, sometimes the only thing left is to end it with grace.

The Big "Makeover" Begins
We wouldn't sit in front of our mirrors and apply make-up without knowing what we are doing. Likewise, we need to find out what we really want to do first with the rest of our lives. Then make a plan. One thing we don't want to do is nothing. That keeps us in that big, dark "hole" we fell into so long ago. 

Sure, we may look back and see that we have not achieved anything we planned when we were in college. So many years have gone by and nothing has happened. Someone once said, 

"If I knew then what I know now. . ." Fill in the blank. 

Instead of kicking ourselves for not doing whatever we originally set out to do, we can realize that each new day really is a new beginning. It holds numerous possibilities we haven't even thought of yet or didn't have yesterday. Remember, it's never too late to begin again as long as we don't give up!

Giving up has never accomplished anything. And nothing says we can't do it on our own as women. Sure, we know about the founders of Microsoft and Apple. But women have definitely had their own multi-million dollar successes. But not without hard work. 

Cultivating Ideas
Just in the "Top 10 Women Entrepreneurs" are listed Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, author, and founder of Lean In.  

CLICK TO "LEAN IN"

The founders of Google first asked to set up office in Susan Wojcicki's garage. She later became SrVP of Google and is currently CEO of YouTube. You go, Susan! 

Then there is Cher Wang who is considered by far to be the most successful female entrepreneur in the world! She started out making cell phones for other people, but eventually knew she could do even better. Cher set-up her own company, HTC. With her smartphones, her fortune is estimated at $6.8 billion (more than Oprah!). And no, she wasn't born wealthy either; she did it all on her own. Thank you, Cher!

But we all might better relate to a favorite on the Top 10, Sara Blakely. She sold fax machines door-to-door for seven years. After that she failed at a lifelong dream of becoming a lawyer. Then, because she never gave up, she created the company many of us know, Spanx. Sara Blakely is considered the youngest, self-made female billionaire. That's a 'B' you heard!    

What great ideas are on your horizon?  

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. . . Philippians 3:13

Three Ideas to Get What You Want in 2017

It's here! Happy New Year everyone! The last day of another year has passed. Did we ever think we would be around for 2017? Time certainly speeds by when we aren't watching the clock! Every generation believes they will never reach the half-century mark of their lives. But it will happen and more.

This particular day, January 2, 2017, will never happen again...ever! So what will we do with it and what will we plan for the next 364 days? We're not talking New Year's resolutions here. They rarely last anyway and that's depressing. Just a mindful idea that we have all been given the same 24 hrs and the same 12 months to start something new or to even work on something that was never finished last year.

We might ask ourselves just a few questions to get the momentum going. 

• What exactly do we want to happen in 2017? 

This might take some searching. Finding out what we don't have that we need to create our best lives this year. The best results come from knowing what we are naturally good at and going after that particular goal. If we have no idea what we are able to do, that's Step One. Get on Google (or here's an idea, visit an actual, real public library!) and purchase/check out one of the many books on natural talents and gifts. Most have quizzes to narrow down the choices.

• What "tools" do we need to get there?

So, as an example, say you discover you can write. If you have never taken college level creative writing classes, now is the time. And having computer software especially designed for writers will make everything easier. Of course, there are mobile apps for your cellphone to write "on the go" when an idea strikes! Every career choice has its own necessary "tools."      

• Do we need to team up with someone who can help?

Now, your writing classes are going fine. It's time to join a local writer's group. Meeting others who have the same talents and struggles definitely helps iron out any doubts about your goals. Most groups also have presentations by professional writers. Staying in touch (networking) with people can make all the difference in a new career.

Right Brain Creativity

Brainstorming gets results!

The above was just an example. Everyone is different; find your own best idea. You could be a natural at math and maybe want to become an accountant. If the arts is your thing, perhaps seek a position at a gallery or museum. Maybe you simply want to finish the quilt you started for your daughter, so you can begin teaching a class in quilting. And don't forget volunteering can give you the experience you need in a career: try a hospital or nursing home, teach reading to non-English students, walk dogs for your humane society. There are endless opportunities.

Remember
Our natural talents and gifts come from the One who created us. He has a special purpose for each and everyone of us. Don't let 2017 speed by before discovering what possibilities He has in store for you. And don't let anyone hold you back! 

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017!

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Now is the time to begin building the life you deserve and have been waiting for all along. Let nothing stop you from moving forward. Where there is determination, there is a way to make it happen. Possibilities are endless. We can do life together right here!

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HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017!!!!

Favorite Music, Movies and Books of 2016

NEW YEAR, NEW LOOK! ENJOY!

One more day and night and 2016 is history! It's always fun to review some of the good things we discovered over the past year. So sit back and compare with what you may have seen, heard, or read yourself. Believe it or not, there is still some good stuff out there to entertain ourselves. So, have fun and a safe New Year's Eve from Fresh Start Momentum. See you in 2017!  



Favorite Music Hits 2016

CLICK AND THEN GO TO THE FOLLOWING LINKS:

Becky Kelley: Where's the Line to See Jesus

Lauren Daigle: Trust in You 

Francesca Battistelli: Holy Spirit

Meredith Andrews: Soar


Favorite Movie Hits 2016 

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING VIDEO LINKS TO SEE A TRAILER

Saved by Grace

Eternal Salvation

The Reckoning


Favorite Books 2016

For Such a Time by Kate Breslin
What a clever idea to take the entire book of Esther from the Bible and create a fully exciting and suspenseful fictional novel! This is Breslin's first novel and it’s one that you will find very hard to put down. It's a fascinating story of hope and faith during WWII.

The Undoing of Saint Silvanus by Beth Moore

This is the story of a family member who has literally died from his alcoholism. Now, his daughter has been contacted to attend the funeral. Little does she know things would be quite different upon her arrival. She hadn’t seen her father in years. Nor her grandmother. “She soon discovers there is more at stake than she ever imagined.”

The Wish by Beverly Lewis 
Explores a close friendship between two girls and their families. Leona never had a sister and when she met Gloria, it seemed like fate. Neither ever suspected it would ever be different. Have you ever had a friend and then she and her family suddenly left town and the church where both of you attended? What would have caused this separation? Would you seek her out?


I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! John 15:11