Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Before, During & After: You Are Not Alone


Time is an elusive period that is hard to explain. As much as we would want to hold our best moments for just a little bit longer, we can't make time stop. It never goes away, but yet we can't make it start either. Sure, babies are born and so their "time" starts. And we have clocks and watches to adjust, but we still can't make time stop. It is a continually moving piece of our existence. We don't even know what the very next moment will bring to our lives and relationships!

Before, During and After
Believe it or not, some relationships finally end their time on a "friendly" note. Actually, it is more of a mutual agreement after many years of arguments, avoidance, and altercations. A war of words that existed with no solutions. One person trying to work it out using all possible means to do so. And one person passively pushing the other into an unwanted decision. In this particular case, it seems time does end. The clock for this moment stops.   

However, many, if not most, rocky relationships go through a very real and scary time when a woman needs to get away from someone who wants to harm her, either physically or emotionally. For her own safety--and that of any children--she must find a way to escape in one way or another. In the end, with great determination and difficulty, it can be done.

In either scenario, we stop and ask, What now? Who can I depend on? Eventually, we find out the answer is not in giving up (which only makes things worse), but in humbling ourselves and reaching out. Reaching out, maybe for the first time in our lives to sympathetic family, friends, neighbors and even strangers who have answers and can help in concrete ways.

Connecting: You Are Not Alone
There are many decisions to make when a relationship ends. Sometimes, we don't even think of many of the most necessary connections right away. But, the sooner, the better for our well-being.

So, just to get the ball rolling, we could start with these four immediate contacts:

1. Real Estate Agent - whether you keep or need a place to live, start here.
2. Lawyer - don't try to negotiate this divorce alone! Costs can be worked out.
3. CPA - finances are all important now. Get a professional to mediate.
4. Counselor - for the complex times ahead, accept the guidance available.

There are many, many organizations to offer practical assistance in all sorts of ways. Try these two:



The First and Foremost
It took some of us years to find the very best One to make things right in our lives. So, to save much struggling, anguish, and loneliness, don't hold back. Reach for the one and only God who is the very definition of love. Contrary to what some may think, He didn't cause our situation or pain. But He does extend a strong right hand that will hold us up, hold us secure, and simply hold us through each star-filled night. We can never go wrong holding His hand. He promises!

I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely. Psalm 63:8


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