How Do You Express Thankfulness This Season?

The start of summer unofficially began this Memorial Day weekend (even though the calendar shows June 21^st as the day). Time for BBQs and eating all that mouth-watering food, beach and camping vacations, and, of course, a day off work. A definite fun season!

Hopefully, we are also not forgetting that today is a time to remember those who sacrificed for our very freedom to have vacations! We owe our sincere Thank You to all the men and women of every single war who fought and sacrificed their lives in one way or another. Some of us remember firsthand the stories that have been told because we personally know friends and family members who have our deepest gratitude.

Who Is Counting?

"There are approximately only 496,777 American veterans remaining of the 16 million who served our nation in World War II and the oldest of these living today is 112 years old and he smokes 12 cigars per day!" [Dept of Veteran's Affairs].

"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug. 5, 1964 - May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Affairs]

"2.7 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001 and over half of them have deployed more than once. Many times, that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved ones’ absence, mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns." [Watson-Brown University]

These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 243 years on our own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].

The Daily Unknown

Please understand, no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we wouldn't be enjoying American freedom if it were not for our military. And military spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to "hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. Never knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else. Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military. Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They deserve respect and honor!

Living in the military sometimes takes its toll on women with devastating results. "Military workers of all ranks were most likely to be divorced by age 30, at a rate of 15%.” [Marketwatch.com]

Where is the Good News?

In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent an even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War [1861-1865] had not been fought, how much longer would African Americans have had to suffer as slaves? (Before the Civil War even ended, President Lincoln, on January 1, 1863, formally issued the Emancipation Proclamation to liberate all slaves.)

"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our military, praying for a quick resolution to conflicts, and praying for a minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides." [gotquestions.org]

For a further study, click on this Link from GotQs.com:

WHY WAR?

“For everything there is a season. . . A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8 NLT).

What Can You Do About Feeling Grumpy?

Another Grumpy Cat 

Today is a sad day for any feline lovers as the famous cat known as “Grumpy Cat” has passed away. She was only seven years old--considered young for a cat—but died of a urinary tract infection according to her owners.

   

“The blue-eyed cat with the withering stare and permafrown that suggested perpetual irritation . . .was not always Grumpy Cat. When she was a kitten, she was named Tardar Sauce. But before she was even a year old, a photo of her concave, grouchy look — the result of an underbite — made her famous, and her new name took hold.” (www.npr.org)

Some of you may be animal lovers and some not, but everyone probably has heard about that famous Grumpy stare! It’s a condition that can affect any human too, especially when faced with a life-changing situation such as a divorce or even a death in the family. Just ask, how often have I felt grumpy lately?

Turning Grumpy into Cheerful

It happens. Yes, it does. In fact, it is almost expected in the first days, weeks, and months after what you have gone through, so don’t beat yourself up over it; it’s a normal feeling. Of course, it is not a feeling that is enjoyable, entertaining, or exhilarating over an extended period. All that anxiety, worry, and distress can ruin your health.  

Hopefully, that uncomfortable state has passed for now. But in case it is still hanging around like a bad household odor, what might you do to reach a better frame of mind? Some of the following ideas have helped many women to find their “happy” place. Start by remembering this famous quip:

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” [Jessie Potter, educator, and counselor at the Woman to Woman Conference, 1981]

[Please note this quote was made popular much later by motivational speaker Tony Robbins].

Finding Your Happy Place

·         Read – go to the local library and find dozens of books on attitudes, gratitude, and making progress as a single-again woman. (Of course, Kindle works too). Start here because you don’t know what you don’t know!

Wanna Talk? 

·         Connect – Sitting home alone isn’t going to work. Open your Contacts on your smartphone or computer and count how many friends (especially single ones) you’ve been missing and call them today!

·         Talk - There is no shame or harm in speaking with a professional counselor or pastor about how to move past your past which is like an anchor holding you down.

·         Record – if you aren’t already journaling, please start. Instead of feeling angry, grumpy, and down, take your thoughts to the pages of your notebook (no one else will see it). Try to make this a daily habit and see what fabulous results you get. It doesn’t need to be lengthy. Nine minutes while drinking your coffee or tea is great. Now, you can begin your day refreshed!

·         Celebrate – one of the worse things you can do is decline invitations to have fun with people. It gets easier every time you say “Yes.” Just this one thing can cause a positive reaction in your mind and suddenly grumpiness is a thing of the past.

There are millions of things you can do to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Do you have to change? Sure. Life is stale without change. But you can be in the driver’s seat this time around and create yourself a brand-new world just the way you dream of!

Who Is Going to Help You?

One of the best things about reaching a point in your life you can be proud of is being able to share it with others. Wanting to help other women who are still struggling with bitterness, negative thoughts, and uncomfortable feelings is truly a gift. You’ve been there—you’re an expert. You know how it goes and there are lots of options others need to hear about.

Speaking of “help,” none of these suggestions and tips will work without first asking the Lord God to direct your steps. He’s way ahead of you and is just waiting for you to talk to Him about your life and where it is going. He’s got ideas! So, perfect as He is, upon accepting Him as Lord of your life, He will give you his Helper called the Holy Spirit. His Spirit who is perfect in providing guidance, wisdom, and discernment. And how can you go any further without those?

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).

How is Your Adventurous Spirit?

Golden Gate Bridge

The Golden Gate Bridge spans the one-mile-wide strait connecting San Francisco Bay and The Pacific Ocean. If you have never been there, it's an amazing trip and a beautiful site across the 1.7 miles including an average height of 220 feet above the water! For anyone afraid of heights it can be scary looking down. Yet, it is not the longest bridge. In Louisiana, you would travel 23.83 miles across the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway and feel a bit dizzy! It must seem like a never-ending trip. 

Just like crossing on one of these bridges, your new journey as a single-again woman may seem endless and a bit scary to say the least. Every new experience--moving to a different house or city, learning how to use a monthly budget to pay the bills when in the past he did all that, preparing a resume maybe for the first time, and sleeping alone in the middle of the bed--is intimidating and daunting. 

Experience Adventure 

All these frightening experiences may appear to be a test of your will and determination; your adventurous spirit. You don't have any, you say? Probably not true since you have already gone through knee-deep "mud" in your life to get to this point right here. That stands for "Congratulations!" 

Doing things alone for the first time has certainly been a struggle no doubt about it. The fact is, it hasn't been easy and most likely will continue to try your patience. But listen with each new successful step you take, your determination will automatically kick-in. Nothing can keep you down now! 

Starting Point     

You know now that you can make it if you want. Of course, no one can force you if you choose not to try. But then, where do you go from there? So, assuming you believe in yourself, your question now may be, How? 

It might help to have a few real and concrete examples of women who took a chance, used their determination, and jumped into a new life even though everything tried to push them down. 

[The first two are from www.mydomaine.com]: 

Viola Davis - "Davis’s childhood explains a lot about her work ethic today. Growing up in poverty, she often faced hunger—even resorting to digging through dumpsters to find food. But she didn’t let this crush her. In fact, it fueled her and pushed her to do better for herself. “I tell my daughter every morning, ‘Now, what are the two most important parts of you?’ and she says, ‘My head and my heart.’ Because that’s what I’ve learned in the foxhole. What gets you through life is strength of character and strength of spirit and love.” 

Connie Britton - "Before she was cast as Tami Taylor on Friday Night Lights at age 39, Britton experienced her fair share of “heartbreak” from roles that got away—including missing out on the female lead in Jerry Maguire to Renée Zellweger. She never let that stop her though. With a positive “everything happens for a reason” attitude, Britton accepted the role as the football coach’s wife on the hit network series." [Note: she also starred later in the series, Nashville].

[And three from Good Housekeeping]: 

Mia Hamm, Soccer Champion - "She has scored more international goals than any other soccer player, and led a generation of adolescent girls to become passionate about sports."

Wendy Kopp, Founder, Teach for America - "It was her senior thesis at Princeton — a plan to create a corps of desperately needed teachers for schools in low-income neighborhoods. Twenty years later, Teach for America has trained more than 24,000 teachers and reached three million students." 

Sally Ride, Astronaut, and Astrophysicist - "The first American woman — finally — in space, 1983. Overall, Ride was the third woman in space after USSR. At the age of 32, she remains the youngest American astronaut to have traveled to space."

The Point

Yes, they are all famous. No, none of them started out that way. They had to fight for everything they received and came from backgrounds just like many of you. Think about it. Click on the links provided and read their whole stories. Then start believing in yourself. What are you dreaming of doing with your life? 

The Main Author and Defender

You are precious in the eyes of your Creator, as we all are. He waits for you to come and talk to Him about all the garbage in your life. God has solutions that you need. He is the Author of your story and the best Defender you will ever need or want. He truly cares about you and your life; always has, always will. Therefore, He gave you a Spirit that craves adventure. Are you ready to begin?

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm" (Exodus 14:14 NLT). 

What Do You Want to See Happen Next?

Find your own survival path

It might feel oddly strange to find yourself all alone--a tingling sensation making you want to shiver--maybe for the first time in your life. You may have gone from your "Drive-in Movie" high school days, Homecoming football games and living with your parents to bunking with three other college roommates four states away. Suddenly before you could blink an eye, you were madly combing all the wedding magazines looking for the perfect dress, best flowers, and honeymoon destinations! 

You've never been totally alone on your own. Sound familiar? You might call this the "Season of Survival" and it can be scarier than jumping out of a plane into the unknown for the first time. What if you panic? What if your parachute doesn't open? What if the pilot missed the designated spot and you land in the depths of the ocean weighted down and no way out? All the What Ifs rushing into your brain at once can overload your circuit! 

Are You Strong Enough to Survive?

In the wild, survival of the fittest is the rule. There are many, many fascinating TV documentaries from National Geographic that show this harsh reality. Even though you may cringe and have compassion for the smallest babies of the jungle, you surely know it can be no other way. Thankfully, your reality is probably a bit tamer! 

It would be an educated guess that if you have made it thus far to be reading this week's blog, you have already moved through at least a few (if not numerous) facets of survival. Congratulations! In case no one has pointed it out to you yet, you ARE strong enough to not only exist as a single-again woman but to continue to live and prosper on your own if that is your choice.    

You'll never know until you try

You are among the many who have had a little taste of the unknown and are still here to tell about it. That's a big deal indeed! And now you can positively continue trying to figure out all the different angles of how to make your life the best it can be without a hint of giving up. There's no room for that nonsense anyway, right? No matter what your age right now, what would you say is the next most important survival change in your life? 

What do you want to see happen? (Hint: it will be different for each and every woman, so just take the time to really sit and think about this one and you'll come up with your answer.)

The Beginning, Middle, and the End

Yes, this really is the beginning of your new life in every way possible. It is your choice to make it a great one or let it become stale and unproductive which will prevent a Middle from happening. And then there will be no room left for a legacy at the End. Think about it. 

The truth is, only God knows exactly what your Beginning, Middle and End looks like. He can see it all. You can only see a small portion of your life because blinders block much of the view. Your only choice is to ask Him how to survive in the first place and follow His direction. You have only questions. God has all the right answers! 

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead" (Philippians 3:13 NLT).