What Gets Us Off Track?

Quite some time ago, if an employee worked hard on her assignments and projects, she would earn more promotions and greater salary. Most of this effort was accomplished without the help of other co-workers. Her success depended solely on her own efforts. Companies knew no other way to operate. Much has changed in the 21^st Century.      

Today, that kind of anti-community environment is nearly unheard of as demonstrated by the top three companies to work for in America:

#1 spot is Google, which has set the gold standard for teamwork, and encouraging innovation and fun on the job. They like to see employees coaching each other and creating a “community” environment. This obviously works to the employees’ advantage, as the average annual salary for an entry-level software developer is $100,000 (according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics).

#2 is Bristol-Myers Squibb, the biopharmaceutical giant that has a “desirable culture of gender diversity with 54% female and 46% male.” Average starting salary for a research scientist is $75,000 (according to Glassdoor recruiting site).

#3 place is the top-of-the-line, cyber-security software company, Symantec, providing an average salary for a software engineer of $94,000 (Glassdoor).

Survivor Reality

No, we are not trying to recruit anyone here. We are just providing examples and demonstrating that in today’s world, it’s definitely harder to survive on our own. If we are not pro-community minded and willing to be part of a team, we might experience less success on our own.

Yes! We found our community!

It is true that more people than ever are currently seeking to open their own businesses and become their own bosses. But even in those situations, a team of people will get the company to its goal better and faster. Even sole owners regularly consult with others on how to perform certain tasks. No matter what we choose as a career, it just isn’t possible to survive alone.

The same is especially true when we are single-again women. Strong women, yes. Innovative, tenacious, and determined, certainly. However, in our own individual lives, we know we need help with many daily chores, how to do certain things, where to go to find answers, and who can teach us to handle our bank account, grocery list, or our next job promotion. We need our own community!

Doing life alone, without a dependable circle of friends, makes it easy to start comparing ourselves to others. There is no good in that as we simply end up experiencing various forms of fear and negativity and don’t even know why. We are cut off from the abundant life God wants for us. Google has the right idea. It encourages its employees “to become teachers and coach one another to help build a more creative, satisfied, and intimate community.”

Staying on Track

If we have no friendship with God (spending time with him and seeking his answers) and with other women in this season of life, we have no fellowship at all. We are left on our own. Once we see the advantages of growing our own community, we see how God is the One who has provided our lives with peace, joy, and contentment. And that is the perfect place to begin!

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep” Romans 12:15 NLT.

Is Worry Ruining Your Life?

New Season. New Start. Ready. Set. Go...The Fresh Start Momentum blog that you are reading right now is changing just a bit starting today (no we are not going away, so let your friends know about it). Through experience, we have learned Mondays are your most favorite and popular day to start your week off right. So, that is what we will do: give you the best articles we can manage once a week and allow you to "digest" the content the rest of the week. We appreciate your participation!

The Big What If 
Sending our young ones off to school or even our young adults off to college is a nerve-racking experience, especially for moms. It’s a tense moment to realize they are at the age where they can walk out the door without us on their heels and without us making most of their decisions for them. We can barely wait until they return home.

The day has finally arrived where we must put our trust in our children to do what they have been taught. But this doesn’t make it any easier for us. We quickly turn to worry about all sorts of things that might happen to them. It’s the big What if? It gets us every time! What if. . .they lose their lunch money? What if. . .they get lost and don’t know where to go? What if. . .their primary college class is canceled? What if. . they get the worst roommate? What if. . .someone hurts them outside of class? Sometimes, it goes on and on until we see them again.

Two Sides of the Coin

However, there is a distinct difference between worry and concern. Whether it is children, our job, finances, or finding a new home, worry produces no immediate answers. It only causes us to think non-stop about all the problems and fears we can imagine. Our mind is so busy with this task, we can not get anything else done. Worry provides no viable solution and it feels like we are being choked.

On the other hand, concern uses our feelings of being interested in and caring about someone or something, so we can actively find a way to be helpful--rather than smothering--in our relationships. So we can work out the problem and come up with a plan that moves us forward. Concern moves us to place our trust in that other person believing they can now handle their own lives.

In a nutshell, worry is inactive and unable to change anything, except to damage our health. Whereas concern participates in bringing about solutions and is busy finding the most appropriate ways for us to show our love or to handle the most complicated matters. It’s two sides of the same coin.

Ripples in Motion

How might we practice or train ourselves to use concern, rather than worry, in any situation? Just know, we understand it’s not easy to break unpleasant habits like worrying, but just like with any “addiction,” once we conquer the “enemy,” we win the “war!” We could start with one of the following ideas and practice it until it becomes natural. Then move on to the next (no particular order). The ripple effect will be amazing! You also may have some great ways of your own to add to the list:

Involvement. Think about joining a mom’s or women’s group. They are great for talking things out with others in the same situation.

Engage. Now that the house is quiet, find a new job or register for a community college class in an area that piques your interest. Get excited!

Ask. If there is a complicated problem, there is no shame in asking someone who knows for assistance. Be brave! There is always a handy person, teacher, neighbor, or family member willing to pitch in and help.

Inquire. Find out the procedure ahead of time if your child gets sick at school, needs tutoring, or can’t find their way. Have a plan.

Trust. This is the difficult one but will benefit not only you but also anyone else involved. Once we have done everything we can, it’s time to let go. This creates positive feedback and encourages responsibility.

Getting Smarter

We have all been given exactly what we need to make life work. It’s just that we often never use our own abilities and numerous gifts God has given us. Maybe we don’t have enough trust in ourselves or are too shy to try something different. God never wants us to worry. In fact, He insists on it knowing how destructive worry can become.

Instead, He has provided His own solutions to our problems. He encourages us to practice going to Him first in prayer. Each day will be less stressful if we “check in” with God and ask for His help for the upcoming day whatever it might include. We pray for not only ourselves, but our children, family, friends, neighbors, city, state, nation, and the world in general. Then, His answers come through to us as we read His answer in the Bible. It’s God's best way of communicating with us. And it works!

“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27 NLT.

Devotion, Dedication, and Diligence

Today, Fresh Start Momentum completes our SUMMER SISTER SERIES highlighting the lives of some famous and amazing women who might just encourage us in our struggles. True stories that can give us insights for our lives in the 21st Century and how all women--married or not--have always been important throughout history. We hope you enjoyed reading about how other courageous women--our "sisters"--made their lives count in the face of danger, endurance, defeat, drama, and, of course, love. If you missed any part, refer back to the Week One blog on July 9th. Love you all, sisters!

We All Need Someone Who Cares
Someone who is devoted one hundred percent to our well-being, especially when we are in trouble. As children, we may seek this from our parents. Even as adults, we like to know we can call on one or both of our parents for care and comfort. Of course, there comes a day when our elderly parents will seek the same from us.

Devotion comes in various forms and, often, is misunderstood. It can be taken as a tool of selfishness. A way to get something in exchange for a pretense of love. True loyalty and faithfulness are rare. It requires putting aside all of one’s own needs to care for another. We may see this in a mother who cares for a special needs child. Or a daughter who cares for an invalid parent putting aside her own dreams and wishes.

A Story of Undying Devotion

One famous woman was just like that kind of person but not in the way you may think. Mary Magdalene, from the town of Magdala near the Lake of Tiberias, never knew the man in Galilee everyone spoke about as a Teacher. But once she was cured of horrible diseases and seven evil spirits by Jesus, she became undyingly grateful and dedicated to His care. Painstakingly so. She became His follower and even began contributing to His ministry.

Mary Magdalene’s belief in Jesus was so strong, she never left His side when he was facing a torturous and cruel death. She couldn’t look away. She stood helplessly at the cross through it all. A few other women were also there, including the mother of Jesus, but none stayed with Him during the entire ordeal, except Mary Magdalene. She even witnessed His body being laid in the tomb and kept a vigil throughout the night. And even that wasn’t enough. In the very early morning before dawn, she left and then immediately returned with spices to anoint His body.

Approaching the tomb, she was frozen with shock to see the large, heavy stone removed that covered the tomb opening! Mary Magdalene began crying with great sorrow. Who could have taken Him? An angel in white sitting on the right-hand side of the tomb said "HE IS RISEN! He is not here".  

Suddenly, she heard the Lord say her name out loud. We all most certainly would have jumped a foot if that had happened to us. She called out, Rabboni! (Teacher) and wanted to run and hug Him, but He forbade her saying, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father. Go instead and tell my brothers and disciples.

Mary Magdalene did just as she was told, but the disciples did not believe her. They discovered the same thing when they went to see for themselves.

Historical records say Mary Magdalene returned to Jerusalem and was never heard from again.

Where Do We Place Our Devotion?

Too many people in history have had the wrong impression of Mary Magdalene. But she knew the right thing to do and did it. She didn’t worry about what others said about her.

“The idea that this Mary was ‘the woman who was a sinner,’ or that she was unchaste, is groundless.” (Today’s Dictionary of the Bible, Bethany House Publishers).

The story of Mary Magdalene can be found in any of the four gospels in the Holy Bible, but the complete story is best found in John 20:1-18.