Are You in a Holding Pattern?

It takes lots of courage, or what some of our grandmas called chutzpah, to get used to waking up each morning by ourselves. Living alone requires confidence and a determination to change our lives for the better. It’s not easy, for sure. No one ever said it would be. But, we can breathe deeper and just know we are going to make it.  

We are going to make the bed, make the coffee, and make breakfast that we put on a plate with a napkin and enjoy the morning sunshine. Because we deserve joy. We simply can’t miss this opportunity that we’ve been given to make a 180-degree turn. We’re moving and growing and getting stronger by the minute! And isn’t that what we wanted all along?

Hold On

Many women struggle with this idea of a solo journey. And sometimes, there are others out there who insist on telling us not to worry, someone just right for you will come along. This can be very discouraging and aggravating, as it infers we are not okay the way we are at this particular moment. And that is simply not true at all. So, let’s not get discouraged. We know who we are and what we want, or at least, we are going in that direction. Amazingly, it may not be a new man in our lives right now. Presently, we are just taking the time and space to figure things out.

It’s enough to simply concentrate on developing our possibilities and passions. Just discovering what we can or want to do with our lives will create this whole new person who is competent, capable, and courageous. And that is a very attractive personality trait! We find out we never have to strive and wrestle with finding someone to share our lives. A new relationship will just happen naturally when we least expect it; when it is meant to happen.

Which brings us to another important point. Some women put their lives on hold waiting for Mr. Right. They stress and worry and wonder how they can possibly attract another marriage partner. They simply refuse to be happy until this happens. Many times the search continues day after day while they are not even past the hurt, defeat, and humiliation of the previous union. This can be the perfect ingredient for another painful relationship.

We were each made for a particular and definite purpose and that is the joy in all this striving! Now we only need to open our eyes and recognize the vibrant colors and delicious flavors that bring spice to our lives. The hobbies we really love doing, the one project that makes us happier than all the others, the abilities we already have that can enhance our experiences. If we put effort into remembering way back when we had dreams that were never fulfilled, we will automatically know in which direction to go with our lives.

And, THEN, while “doing life” in this way, we become fulfilled and enlightened to what we were supposed to do with our lives all along. Here’s the key: while enjoying ourselves and finding our purpose, we just might find ourselves in the middle of a new relationship. Or not. It’s our choice--we have the freedom at that point. And that’s a beautiful thing!

Your Forever Love

One very important focal point to guide our journey is to remember: God did not promise us a spouse, no matter what anyone says. He may bring one to us anyway, but it is not a given. Just don’t lose hope; being single is not an affliction. What God did promise to each and every one of us is that He will NEVER leave or forsake us. Ever! He is the One who loves us with a deep and forever love.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you” Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT.