Our Own Special Room

There are many of us who really enjoy paging through home decorating magazines. Maybe even cutting out and collecting the photos of certain rooms we want to imitate. Trying out decorating projects, rearranging furniture according to floor plans, learning to hang wall art properly, and choosing complementary colors for each room are all fun activities for creating a beautiful home.

Where Does This Come From?

There may be two things going on here. To start with, we may have grown up with a mother who knew exactly how to use what she had available to provide a comfortable and beautiful home. She may have known instinctively how to arrange flowers or what furniture fabrics to use around five energetic kids. We got our lead from her and may now need to deal with our own perfectionism.

On the other hand, if our mother didn’t know fine art from dime-store paper imitations, or how to make a comfortable bed, or why a house needed cleaning on a regular basis, we may now crave a neatly organized and clean home. This kind of background shows us what humility is all about.

Perfection vs. Humility

True, we took our clues about keeping a home from our mothers. But now, we can enjoy making our own rooms in our own way. Home decorating is still a fun hobby! And we have our own children to whom we can teach homemaking skills that are passed down, as well as new ones we discover.   

We know, for instance, that many children want a room of their own at some point. And as single moms, we do our very best to provide that room, if at all possible. We want them to have their own space to be creative and enjoy their home. No matter if our resources are limited or abundant, our child knows what it is like to have their very own room in a comfortable home. This is one way we show our love.

Each generation can improve upon the old if we are willing to change. We can look at ourselves and see that the only place we find “perfection” is in Scripture, which is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training. (2 Timothy 3:16-17) We can actually learn that with humility comes wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2)       

The Perfect One

God knows us inside and out. He has sent his Son, Jesus, to prepare each one of us our own special room in his heavenly mansion!! Our own permanent bejeweled room! He is the Perfect Master Decorator and His invitation is OPEN to all. Be sure to RSVP: ibelong2Jesus.com [note: this is not an actual site]  

There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? John 14:2

End of Summer High

Nope! This isn't a message about drug use. This is a better kind of fun! Since it is nearly the end of long, hot days and vacation overload, let's start thinking about how much daily enjoyment we can get right at home. We already know spending day after day in front of a TV is not healthy and is definitely discouraging. Take a minute and see why this is true by clicking on this:

Your brain on TV

We have the time and freedom now, so what can we actually do to increase a permanent state of recreation and relaxation in our lives? How do we meet new friends? Where is our creativity? Are we setting a good example for our kids and other single friends and family?  

Finding a favorite pastime and purpose is the best answer for experiencing meaning in our lives. It also answers many of our dilemmas. If we are bored, depressed, lonely, sad, lacking friends (female or male), or feeling fatigued, the solution is to get moving and stay involved with life! It's a personal choice, but it only takes 21 days to create a new habit. We can do this!   

Grab a notebook/pen, use your five senses and start adding activities you've been missing out on to this list. Most have local clubs/groups/organizations to join (the friend aspect):  

Smell - Nature

gardening, visiting parks/sights, hiking, jogging, cycling

Taste - Cooking

baking, ethnic dishes, salads, sides, desserts;

Volunteer idea: soup kitchen

Sound - Musical

learning an instrument or voice lessons, dancing, attending concerts, friends of the symphony; Volunteer idea: join choir/worship team at church

Touch - Games

board games, playing cards, chess/checkers, puzzles;

Volunteer idea: senior center

Sight - Library

reading/book clubs, computers, classes, book sales, DVDs, audio;

Volunteer idea: children's hour

We each have our own idea of what would be fun for us. So, as suggested, search for what that is and, if you’re adventurous, don’t stop at just one! Think of how you would answer this question at your next friendly gathering: "So, what do you do for fun?" You might just strike up a brand new friendship and find common ground you never thought possible.

Why?

God is not happy to just leave us where we are. He is a good, good Father and wants the very best for us. So, He leads us to greater things and shows us what He wants us to do with our lives. Let’s not be content with moping around just because our lives have changed. God is showing us how to do life--to have a full, abundant and joyful purpose that He promised us. THEN, we can love others and bring Him the glory!

“And now, dear...sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned...Then the God of peace will be with you” Philippians 4:8-9 NLT

Growing By Layers

Most often, it can take anywhere from four to twelve years for a person to gain an education in a particular chosen field, depending on which area is pursued. Never do we just snap our fingers and we have an instant degree in anything. This can be a daunting adventure and not everyone will actually complete it the way they originally dreamed.

However, if a person stays on course, and never gives up, it can really happen! Many of these successful graduates did it the right way and began by seeking an advisor’s direction in how to get where they wanted to go. Some wasted time by taking needless, individual classes instead of pursuing a certain course of action for the degree they needed. That is why it is important to examine from the beginning exactly which career direction is best. It may even become apparent that on-the-job training or a trade school will be a better option.   

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

The same is true in most anything we desire in life. Perhaps we really want to start our own business. So, there are certain steps to attain that goal. Finding an advisor or partner is helpful. Perhaps a few night courses in business, accounting, or marketing would be in order if we don’t already have that on our resume. Finding out about a Small Business Loan (SBA) may be what we need. There are many avenues to find success.

How would we become a chef, a hotel manager, a preschool director, or CEO of a software company? No matter where we want to go in life, there is a way to get there. Knowledge, education, first steps and last steps. The important point is to not let time get away from us. Don’t get discouraged, just jump in and begin with the first step. No matter if we are in our 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, determination will push us forward. [Side note: a fabulous book currently about this subject of reinventing your life is, It Ain’t Over. . .Till It’s Over by Marlo Thomas].

So we may be asking, how in the world do we go after our dreams? Actually, perhaps a better and more fun way to look at it, rather than “steps” (which can dissolve over time once they are complete) is to see our life dream in “layers,” which together create a “whole,” much like baking a multi-layer cake. Once we definitely figure out what we want to do with our lives, we can begin to build one slice or sliver at a time as needed. We will need a slice of Wisdom, one of Strength, and a sliver of Confidence, etc. etc. Now you have the idea. Whatever we don’t have, we can always find someone who does and are willing to share how their “cake” came out of the oven!

The Best Ingredient

A very important part of creating a new life, is starting with a Spiritual framework to hold everything together. God was the first Creator and desired for us to be filled with His love, strength, and a heart where He could make His home. We can also build a relationship with Him in  “layers” through getting a Bible and reading it each day, creating a quiet time, and finding a church home. Be sure not to leave out this critical ingredient!

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong” Ephesians 3:17 NLT.

Right Now We Need Some Calm

Dory's Neighbor?

Fantasy and animated movies both for children and adults are currently big money-producing vehicles for film companies. Last year alone, the top two, Finding Dory and Captain America, grossed over $1 billion each! Perhaps the stimulating attraction is that in the end, all is well; utopia is restored.

True, there is so much wrong with the world of current events that watching the nightly news can throw us into a panic. There seems no end to any of it. So, walking into the movies and escaping for two hours may give us a tiny taste of a perfect world.   

Dreaded Side-Effects

We all need a way to de-stress from the noise, confusion and aggravations of the day. Without learning how to create a habit of peace in our lives, we can expect many side effects from the disease of frustration. It’s sometimes difficult to understand where tension, distress, pressure, anxiety, depression and a whole host of others come from without the help of a professional.

But for right now in this place, let us be willing to find some ways to calm our souls. Each of us will have our own impressions of how to find what will work for us. Our family situations are different, our schedules are different, and our mindsets are different.

These are only a few suggestions used by many women as a means to just get started in finding peace. We’re ready for that, right? Remember, the goal is to de-stress and avoid life’s side effects.

Ahhh! Relaxation!

As a warm-up to our chosen method of relaxation (or any time anxiety grabs hold of us), this proven, quick breathing exercise really works: (a) Breathe in through the nose to a count of four (b) Hold it for four (c) Release it through the nose for a count of four. Repeat three times. It can truly lower blood pressure and immediately calms us. Now, let’s begin.

Journaling - so many people now take part in this enjoyable activity. We may think we don’t have the time for this, but we can all find five minutes in our day. And that’s all we need to experience the tremendous benefits that even doctors suggest for their patients.

After establishing this enjoyable habit, we will find we want to spend more time with it. The important thing is to do it every day and always at the same time. There are many different types and uses for journals. We suggest searching online (for example, Pinterest) or the local library for a description and helpful prompts and tips. So fun!

Mini De-stressors - ways of preventing stress could fill a book the size of War and Peace! So as a measure of getting the most from a small space, we have the following nine quick ideas:

1. Create a fall door wreath
2. Organize your photos
3. Browse antique stores
4. Take a bubble or scented oil bath
5. Relax in a park, or near a stream/lake
6. Visit the humane society for a new friend
7. Practice doing crossword puzzles
8. Pray, read the Bible or visit a church
9. Help someone in need

  

Here’s the challenge: add six more to this list. Just do something good for yourself!

Why Do We Need Heaven?

We can escape stress in little ways. Yet while on this earth, we will always have troubles. If this world and everyone in it were perfect, we would have no need of heaven. Jesus promises to give us peace and assurance when He takes us to our Forever Home.  

He is right now building us a mansion made out of sparkling jewels where our small and large troubles will be gone forever. Our tears and sorrows will be buried on earth. We can not see it now, but we can have faith and trust it will be just as Jesus promised.

"For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long...So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen…[that] will last forever.." 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 NLT.

Please note: the information in this article is not intended to replace treatments of any kind received from a medical doctor. Consider these ideas simply as a supplement to keeping our feet on the ground.     

    

Start a Trend on Your Block

Just a quick scan of the internet will tell us the myth of the “good Samaritan” is alive and well. A mother searches for the good person that saved her daughter out of the kindness of his heart; a stranger pays someone’s fuel bill without asking anything in return; someone helps another avoid a suicide attempt; and a neighbor's cat is rescued. We all wipe away tears when we hear of these heartwarming stories.

However, caring for others may not come naturally. We tend to become preoccupied with our own wants and desires ignoring needs of those around us. We can even justify to ourselves and friends and family that we each should take care of our own responsibilities and not be bothered by anyone who needs help. This is sometimes the mindset of those who don’t want to become involved even when someone is in danger or in an emergency situation.

   

Why Should We?

So what happens, then, when we ourselves need help? And, of course, at some point in life, we will, indeed, be in a situation when that occurs. No one can go through life totally alone and expect to never need another to help us out. Recently an article mentioned, we unfortunately may only ever know no more than two of our neighbors at any one point in time. And that is just a friendly wave or a one-syllable “Hi”. Knowing the names of people living around us is an additional step. Inviting that neighbor for coffee or dinner, is almost unheard of in our world.

So what is the point of of being that person who is willing to drop everything and become a “Good Samaritan’? Why should we in the first place? If we choose to have compassion for another person we step out of ourselves and may, then, avoid our own pity party surrounding problems in our lives. Amazingly, we may even arrive at a solution in the midst of others’ dilemmas.

Of course simply helping someone, when we could just walk away, will help us grow in unexpected ways as a human being. Selfishness is a childish trait that is not very attractive in an adult. We would never want to admit such a thing or be known as that kind of person. We may have lived with a person who exhibited this very same personality characteristic and it was difficult and frustrating for us to deal with such a lack of compassion. We are better than that, so consider these benefits that are showered on us when we demonstrate a generous nature.

Nine Blessings of a Good Samaritan:

• We naturally become givers in all things
• We will prosper and be refreshed
• We are protected against criticism
• Wisdom, faith and knowledge grows
• Goodness will be heaped upon us
• Our reputations will be remembered
• We will have influence and honor
• We will “reap what we sow”  
• Our world is filled with joy and light, rather than darkness

We are given unique abilities and born into a certain time and place whereby, we have what we need to help those put in our path. As humans, we can recognize our own responsibilities and duty when it comes to being that neighbor whom everyone can count on to help. Someone who is always there. Being neighborly can catch on fast, so be the first on your block!

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” Galatians 6:9 NLT.

Dancing in the Rain

On days when we lose our momentum, it’s sometimes hard to get it back. The wheels just won't move. The engine wants to go back to bed. The fuel staggers on empty. 

It starts out all right. We wake up in the morning ready to tackle the day. The adrenaline level seems a little shaky, but soon revs up like a blender on over-kill. The bed and breakfast are made before the kids' feet even hit the floor. So much to get done in the next few hours.      

Then all of a sudden--bam!--the energy comes to a crashing halt! Our “To Do List” is the last thing we want to tackle now. It's truly overwhelming doing life on our own. The mind wanders to way off places remembering the "smiles we left behind." So what happened? Where did the motivation go?  

Life is not about how we survive the storm, 

it's about how we dance in the rain!

Most likely we are still harboring fears and anger about the past. We allow our emotions to get ahead of us. It's important here to say it's absolutely o.k. to cry it all out. We all do it. In fact, it's a must, otherwise those feelings turn inward on us and depression takes over and that's a nasty problem indeed. So go ahead and grab that pillow and scream as loud as you can! It's truly the best release ever available. 

Out-of-whack and out of slack. 

Priorities got jumbled and the tension suddenly burst. We often forget to first take a morning minute and check in with our Creator. He already knows what’s on our agenda for today and it may not be the same as the one in our smart phone. He has people for us to meet today--a new neighbor or maybe an old friend who is hurting like us. Exciting things for us to do. It’s probably nothing like what we expected, but you can be sure He knows the Plan. 

So let’s make it easy on ourselves and Pop! that umbrella open! 

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

In a Rut or In a Groove?

Someone once said if our hairstyles are the same more than five years in a row, we're in a rut! Or is that a groove (not as deep as a rut)? This could also apply to the placement of our furniture, the shower curtain, the pillows on our couch or just about anything that needs changing.

In the Disney animated film, The Emperor's Groove, Kuzco, the rude and narcissistic emperor, has no need of anyone. Yzma, his female adviser, poisons him and Kuzco turns into a llama. The silly story goes on and on with Yzma accidentally drinking a poison and she turns into a kitten! 

Disney sometimes makes comical and crazy movies, or what your grandmother might have called cockamamie (silly word in itself), but there is eventually a point made. In the movie above, the emperor learns the lesson that it's senseless to resist change. 

Funny, once we do get in the mood to do something positive for ourselves and get out of our monotonous routine, we see the magic we've been missing in our daily lives. It's a great spirit-lifter. Once we do one thing, we want to do the next thing and the next thing, and. . . Doctors even say it only takes 21 days (or 21 times) to replace an old habit with a new one. Less than a month; we can do that! 

Let us not forget God likes change. He doesn't leave us in our same routine. He chose us and He expects us to grow and mature. There is a reason for everything and He sent Jesus and the Holy Spirit to help you in creating your very best life now! 

If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.
Luke 17:33

Smiles Are Contagious, Be A Carrier!

C'mon Laugh!

We can only laugh about it, really. That is the dreaded season we love to hate called Aging. And yes, it's a real eye-opener when we figure out we are old enough for our savings account to begin paying off! 

Survival, mid-life or otherwise, will only come with a good measure of laughter! We all know that no one on this planet has yet been able to stop time, banish the wrinkles, and lift enough skin to make us look 23 again. But they keep trying! "If I knew in my 20s what I know now, ______________" (fill in the blank)    

So, the better choice is to have a sense of humor, because it happens to everyone eventually. 

Enjoy a smile with these unexpected blessings about maturity: 
1. We can have "lights out" before our college kids even leave on a date.
2. Karaoke is our favorite music with words.
3. We can eat breakfast for dinner and lunch for breakfast. 
4. Our grand kids are shocked if we know the identity of One Direction.
5. A good party begins at 7pm and ends at 10pm.
6. We no longer think of speed bumps as an obstacle.
7. Our expenses for excessive beauty products are considerably reduced.

See how many more you can add to this fun list! 

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
It wasn't so long ago that age was honored as one having gained wisdom through life experiences. Of course, we didn't reach each decade without ever knowing anything, regardless of what the Post-Millennial generation aka iGeneration thinks (apparently those are necessary descriptions since we ran out of the alphabet with the X, Y, and Z Generations). You're still smiling, right? 

First there is physical beauty as pushed on us by all the advertising. Then comes inner beauty as we gain more common sense in all things joyful. And, alas, there comes brain beauty or more commonly referred to as wisdom. Someone once said, "It's amazing how wise our parents get as we age!"

An age-old (pardon the pun!) problem
What does God think about all this self-admiration? Quite a lot, matter of fact. One only needs to read the Old Testament to see vanity isn't just a modern problem. It began way, way back in the Garden of Eden and continued right along into the New Testament and has now caught up to this century.

Among God's descriptions of a wise person He uses the words humble and understanding, one who invites counsel and, one who fears (respects) the Lord. He is serious about this aging thing! 

No matter what our age from 20s to 40s to 60s and beyond, we can welcome the fact we belong to Him who IS wisdom. The good news: we can work towards that beautiful goal and help each other along the way, sisters! Heaven waits.

"Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God" 1 Peter 3:3-4 NLT.