Weekend High

Nope! This isn't a message about drugs. This is going to be TGIF kind of fun!  

Since it is the weekend let's start thinking about how much enjoyment we are getting out of life right now. We already know spending day after day in front of a TV is not healthy and is definitely discouraging. 

Your brain on TV

We have the freedom now; what can we do to increase our purpose and fun? How do we meet new friends? Where is our creativity? Are we setting a good example for our kids and other single friends and family?  

Finding a life-hobby is the best answer to so many dilemmas. If you are bored, depressed, lonely, sad, lacking friends (female or male), or feeling fatigued, the answer is to get moving and stay involved with life! It's simply up to you. It only takes 21 days to create a new habit. You can do this!   

Grab a notebook/pen, use your five senses and start adding activities you've been missing out on to this list. Most have clubs/groups to join (the friend aspect):  

Smell - Nature

gardening, visiting parks/sights, hiking, jogging, cycling, 

Winter Yumminess

Taste - Cooking

baking, ethnic dishes, salads, sides, desserts; 

Volunteer idea: soup kitchen

Sound - Musical

learning an instrument, dancing, attending concerts, friends of the symphony; Volunteer idea: join worship band at church 

Touch - Games

board games, playing cards, chess/checkers, puzzles; 

Volunteer idea: senior center 

Sight - Library

reading/book clubs, computers, classes, book sales, books, DVDs, audio; 

Volunteer idea: children's hour

Can you answer this question at your next friendly gathering:"So, what do you do for fun?"

And now, dear...sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Keep putting into practice all you learned...Then the God of peace will be with you. 
Philippians 4:8-9

  

  

    

The Momentum Bucket List

In 2007 Hollywood produced the movie, The Bucket List, which was all at once humorous and insightful. Complete strangers find they must now face who they really are and if they have accomplished all they wanted to in life before it's too late. They decide they need a list of things to do that they had never gotten around to doing. This whole concept became very popular for many of us!

Now that we are on the way to reinventing our lives exactly the way we want, I'm encouraging you to start a list of your own. It can be serious, silly, or simple. It might be something you've done before but not in a very long time. Or it might be daring and adventurous (safety first though!). These might seem ridiculous to family and friends. But all that counts is this list is real and important to you--no one else. While you are thinking, let's have some fun. Here is the. . . 

Top 11 Momentum Bucket Gems

1. Dress up and go out on a Wednesday afternoon for no particular reason.
2. Rent a bicycle and go to the beach or somewhere interesting in your town.
3. Pick pumpkins at a local family farm. 
4. Paint a piece of furniture poppy pink (try chalk paint, it's easy!)
5. Put on some dance music when it's too quiet.
6. Send yourself flowers.
7. Find two other single-again friends and take a class together.

8. Sleep in the middle of the bed.
9. Eat dessert first before a meal.
10. Get a pet to love and enjoy (if you already have one, get another!)
11. Save up and buy a beautiful gemstone ring on Valentine's Day.

There are a million more things you can do. Keep thinking and you could create categories of bucket lists for yourself: a Bucket List for. . . home, career, health, travel, kids, budget, adventure, etc etc. You've got the idea. Keep the momentum going! 

    
         

Small Steps Lead to Giant Rewards

It's a must. We have to take care of ourselves now more than ever. That's if we don't want to see a "hag" in the mirror one morning and scare ourselves half to death. It's especially important if we have children at home yet to take care of. Otherwise, we may find them eating from the family pet's food bowl! 

Here's the question: how do we gain the strength we lost while dealing with re-inventing our lives? Being physically exhausted and emotionally fatigued prevents us from living to our fullest capacity. And it only lines the pockets of our doctors (sorry, physicians, aren't you always telling us "Take care, now" as we go out the door?)

Not feeling our very best blocks us from doing what we need and want to do to survive. Don't you have some new plans now for yourself? I mean, think about it, you don't want to repeat what you went through in the past, do you? Of course not, because all the dreams you had while still married can now be fulfilled to perfection--no one is holding you back. Yeah, world! I can do this.    

Feeling down all the time and not caring to get back up also keeps us from creating the abundant joy we crave. I'm not saying it all needs to be done at once. Being drained requires that we take small and specific, but consistent, steps on the road to recovery. 

We can help no one else until we take care of our physical selves. This is not a selfish thing! We need the energy to get to tomorrow. We’ve heard it before--participate in a good nutrition plan, regular exercise, and even fun and exciting ways to pamper ourselves. Those are the first building blocks to physical and emotional health. The way in which we do it, or not (I hate exercise but love the pampering), will be different for each one of us. And at a different pace. Whatever you feel you can do at the moment is the right step for you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Just keep the momentum going!  

Our spiritual well-being is an even more important connection to wholeness. Without this support, nothing else in our life will work properly. No worries, though, because the Lord provides the necessary solid rock to grab onto when we feel we will fall. He is the Rock, solid as can be. Remember that a home built on sand will not stand. 

He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:2

Roadblocks Are a Nuisance

Sometimes a good laugh is all it takes to brighten a day! So, let me share a true story from my past. 

While living in Spain during my junior high days, my family, consisting of three sisters (one an infant) and one brother along with my parents, was traveling by car from one town to another on dirt, gravel and cobblestone roads. 

Happily "oohing" and "ahhing" at the many foreign sights along the way, we suddenly heard my Mom yell, "Stop!" at the top of her lungs. Of course, being the rowdy kids we were all talking at one time, we thought Mom had had enough of the five of us all crammed into a small car. We immediately hushed. 

Up ahead on the road, Mom saw with her myopic eyes what she thought were boxes blocking the entire road! Lots of them; all sizes, mostly large. She feared Dad would run right into them and we would have an accident. He slowed down but kept cautiously approaching the "boxes." She looked at him as if he had not heard her the first time. "Stop," she said again. 

Dad just reached over and squeezed her hand and said, "It's OK. It's OK. I'm stopping, but just to let the sheep and their shepherd cross the road!" Mom had not expected her eyes to fail her like that, I'm sure. The giggles started in the back seat. Chuckles began and turned into slam-bang, side-splitting laughter that lasted until we couldn't breathe. We definitely were not laughing at her and so, eventually, Mom saw the humor. It's a story that to this day still brings laughter to our family.

In trying to get his flock across a road, a shepherd will wait until all of the sheep are safely across and then will continue to direct them. Sometimes to get to the other side, though, they have to go through dangerous traffic, potholes, hills and valleys. Just like we do on life’s path.

We have certainly crossed the barricades and traps of a life gone sour. No one ever said our single-again lives would be easy. That's why it's important to find friends going through your particular stage of divorce or widowhood.

Just know that with the help of our Shepherd, we can all have a safe crossing onto the next road in our journey because He truly cares for us.

“My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." John 10:10(b)

     

Hands of Love Across Time

What is your favorite means of comfort? For many it is the luxurious, fragrant, deep warm water of a bath to soak in for hours, especially after a stressful day. A cozy bed with lots of blankets and clean sheets in a cool room can put some (uh-hum, I think I qualify) into deep, relaxing sleep. To make it even better, my ear plugs and a sleep mask are heavenly! Or as the candy companies already know, chocolate is a definite favorite melting in our mouth. Ice cream too! There are thousands of ways to feel comfort. Some good and some detrimental to our health.

As single-again women, sometimes it's difficult to find the comfort and affection we need and long for on a regular basis. So what positive things can we do about it? First, let's stop and remember, we have a brand new life now. It will not be the same as in the past. And that's not always a bad thing, ladies! It's been said that many women are lonelier within their marriages than when they divorce. Huh? Yes, there is a difference between being lonely and being alone. One is positive and one is negative. You know which one is which.  

So let's get creative and find what will make us comfortable. Start with our home. Does it need an uplifting fun color on the walls of some rooms? How about in your bedroom? It's usually suggested to stick with calm, neutral colors or pastels, especially blue. Definitely not bright eye-blinding colors unless you want to stay up all night with the owls. The furniture could be the next thing. Like a deep comfy sofa that "hugs" you. Yes, yes, I know there are those of you who love leather. I would have to decline on that choice as it is cold in the winter and sweaty hot in the summer. Torture in my book, but heh, smile, it's your choice. Have fun with it all! 

Calm and Happy Home Ideas

Aside from all that revamping of your surroundings, which is important, how about the actual physical side? Of course, if you choose, there is dating on the horizon, but I won't get into that since I am definitely not a psychologist. Except to say simply, take care of yourself. You are precious in God's sight and He loves you. You know what I mean. 

I am suggesting you surround yourself with friends and family. People who support your decisions and are not stingy with hugs. Friends who will be there when you are having a bad night to hold your hand while you get used to your fabulous new journey. And if you have children still in the house, you hug them. They will hug back for sure. They will feel loved as much as you. 

One thing is for absolute certain. The Bible says God is there to hold your hand anytime you need it; day or night! That's called Comfort with a capital "C." Hang tight, dear one, ask Him and He will reach you with a very strong hand for as long as you need it.

Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Psalm 37:24

Downsizing Before Becoming a Hoarder

Downsizing is a two sided coin. Sometimes it’s a necessity just so we can move on with a new life and maybe even to a new town. This was my experience as I was, what some respectfully call, an "Air Force Brat." I say that with a smiley on my face because I thoroughly enjoyed growing up with my parents in the U.S. Air Force. It was quite an education. But as an adult, it was after 17 years of marriage.

We former shop-till-you-drop women have rooms filled to the brim with all sorts of things we thought we would never want to part with under any circumstance. Doll collections from age ten. O.K. fine, maybe a collection of tiny metal cars we treasured that threw our brothers into a jealous fit. Or more grown-up things in the attic like macrame hangers and hooked rugs. (If you are too young to remember these, your mama or aunt will show you how and, viola, you can start a new trend).

You know how the process goes. The organizational experts call it the Keep, Toss and Donate boxes. If you have been divorced, recently or otherwise, you'll understand downsizing. We’ve given up or lost most of everything we owned and it’s a bitter-sweet saga. Sometimes we willingly give it up and then turn around many months later and wish we hadn’t given away so many treasured items we now need! Sounds like the start of a cartoon.

make moving easy

Of course, things are things that can be replaced. We need to make room for what’s really important: like our kids and our sanity. Keep in mind you are beginning a fresh start momentum. I personally never wanted any reminders in my home of another fore-gone life. I was intent on creating a whole new life. A happy and joyful life filled with abundance and I'm not just talking about money here.

This whole downsizing can be quite a lot of fun if you give yourself the chance to think of it that way. You get to gather, trade, or purchase what you want in your life. I found a brand new hobby of thrift-store treasure hunting in the process! What an absolutely fabulous way to save money for bigger and better things like all the costly extras your kids need. Mind you, I didn't say their wants. We have to teach them how to save their own money and create their own downsizing methods early in life!

The other side of this shiny new coin is we can feel good about donating or giving away some of our possessions so that another woman who is hurting can find something she desperately needs. It’s a win-win situation.

The best part about all this non-worrying about things is God always knows what we need and when we need it  All we have to do is trust Him and be more open to the potential beauty in our new life.

Matthew 6:31-34

Could I Take Your Order?

Design your best life!

Wouldn't it be great if you could walk up to a food counter and order a brand-new life? Or walk into an interior design studio and instantly create a brand-new home to live in and enjoy? 

“Oh, yes, waiter, I'll take a platter full of new five-inch high heels, four new suits in delicious flavors with yummy matching bags and, please, be sure to throw in the extra diamonds. And I love hats! All kinds of hats. Include those for dessert too. I'm jump-starting my new life as a single-again woman beginning with a new career at Come-and-Get-Me World.” 

Can You Imagine Your Life?

Now, open your eyes, shake your head, and wake up from the fantasy! Where you stand (or sit) right now is your single-again life just with a fresh, new and exciting beginning. Yes, it is not an easy thing to do! This is a serious endeavor and one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do. But it’s a start. And a great one whether you orchestrated your divorce or not.

This is a chance to create whatever life you can imagine. You've been held back and put down so many times it's hard to imagine it can be done. And, no, it's not too late; age, education, or finances are not factors. Really! Determination and persistence will get you there. Whether you live in a small town or a huge metropolis; are in a good or a nerve-wracking, challenging financial situation; or whether you have one, five or no children. What does matter is YOU get to write your own story now however you want it! You are the one and only one who can do it right this time around. 

What Do You Really Want?

Before we go further here, let me say I get you! I am one of the single-again Christian women out there. It's been a while, but I have survived, and you will too. But it's more than just survival. It's living a life beautiful and with joy. That’s where your purpose lies. How is that possible? Start with a daily mental reminder: No looking back! Know that if you choose, you can successfully move forward; the alternative is ugly and who wants to continue a distorted and twisted life?

That fresh start momentum will be a different experience for each woman. There is no one cookie-cutter life. You must ask yourself, what do I want? and how am I going to get there? Plan, persist, persevere. No one can tell you how. But you can be open to sharing your life with others in the same situation and thereby help each other out.  

You may be interested in one of these organizations: (click on link)

https://www.divorcecare.org/

https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/

https://www.meetup.com/topics/divorcesupport/

On this blog, you will find only positive reinforcement, ideas, discussions, and tips. No negativity, no put-downs of either you nor your former spouse, no blame, no guilt trip, and no sermons. There's no time for that anyway, right? Time won't wait for anyone, so get ready for a great adventure!      

Your Daily Connection

The One who knows exactly what you are feeling and experiencing is your Heavenly Father. Just ask a Christian woman you know. Now don’t just ignore this important key to your future. No amount of trying, struggling, screaming, crying, and trying again is going to work without getting in touch with the God who made you. It’s a daily connection!

Did you know He knows everything about you? The number of hairs on your head, how you love coffee, the next trip you want to take, your wish for a new job, and how your garden isn’t growing no matter how much care you put into it. He knows! Try talking with Him today before you try anything else.

“O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me…You know my thoughts…You know what I am going to say even before I say it…You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:1, 2, 4, 13 NLT).