How Far Is The Mountaintop?

It's absolutely no picnic at all to lose someone. It hurts. It's heart-breaking. And it's even embarrassing. We put ourselves out there. We put our trust in the one we loved with all our heart. We walked down the aisle and made a vow. 

Then the trust was broken without a thought behind it. Shattered into pieces. We did our best to repair the damage. He walked out anyway. The tears have filled a dam--there are none left! Now we grab on, hold on, and move on with all the courage and strength we can find while the wounds heal.   

What Boundaries?

We often have to ask, ‘Now who can I trust?’ It seems the answer is ‘No one.’ We don't dare do that again, right? But, we know that all human beings are filled with flaws. Even us. Sometimes, people we trust do things to ruin that trust in amazing, surprising and hurtful ways. Even scary ways. 

There is no doubt about it. It is extremely difficult to regain a measure of trust once someone has devastated our world. What do we do about it? How do we get on the right track again? Do we run down the street screaming over the dishonesty and selfishness, or, do we set responsible boundaries for the next time we're in a relationship? What about our own excuses? Didn't we have some part in this drama? There are many lessons to learn here. It will take time. One thing is for sure: if we don't learn the lessons now, it will certainly happen again.  

We're here! The Mountaintop of our dreams. 

Lessons at the Top

This is where we discover we can only do so much on our own. We can begin a new life. Check. We can make new friends. Check. We can join a gym and get into shape. Check. We can get a new job if we want. Check. It's just like any new wilderness adventure. What we really need is a Guide to show us the way through the valleys to the mountaintop. A Teacher who can connect with us and give us a desire for the real truth. And a Friend who knows the life that will save us from ourselves.    

He gets us!

The only One who can do all this is our Lord and Savior, Jesus. He gets us! We can go to Him and really talk about the betrayal, hurt, and sorrow. He's been there. And it's not just about all the overwhelming events that have occurred; He knows about our most treasured dreams too. Thankfully, we can safely place our total trust in Him like no other. His promise is that He will never ever, ever, ever leave us! He loves us that much, inside and out. 

Listen! Do your hear your Counselor knocking at your door?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Tiny Ripples of Hope

Let's just face it, get it out, and get it over with right now. This is the season of hope and joy! And we feel like saying bah-humbug, right? Being single-again, especially if it's a new situation to us, brings on welcome activities like pulling the covers over our heads for the next two months!  

If we want to breathe, however, the covers must come off. Actually, we can be stronger than we look. Certainly after that morning cup of coffee, tea, or juice. Getting dressed in something cozy and colorful, doing our hair and makeup, and stepping outside for a walk will fill our lungs with hope. Now, we can think clearly.

We are here to stay
We can take this season and make all sorts of things into new habits and traditions. We can show the world we are here to stay on our terms! Remember, our lives don't have to be a picture of perfection. We can choose to simply live, breathe and survive by what we do and how we act. One definition of hope is "anticipating something good to come in the future." Ready to test that thought? 

Any or all of these fun pick-me-ups could fit right into our new wonderful lives (remember that's a choice we have too):

• Connect with a friend who really understands us. 
• Change our thinking and celebrate our own life. Try simple things we've never before done. A new restaurant. A new route to work. A new workout center. A new quilt for our bed.  
• Keep our sense of humor, even if we're not known as the funny-type. Watch a comedy. Tell jokes with your kids. Share a funny story with a family member.
• Keep an encouragement journal. As often as we can (morning or night) list a few things we are grateful for or that bring us happiness.  
• Volunteer to help someone who is in need. Work at a thrift store that benefits abused women. Read to children or the elderly. Teach someone to dance. 
• If we don't feel like being the cook this year for family dinners, it's o.k. to bring a store bought dish or flowers. Really. 

Every time you stand up for an ideal, you send forth a tiny ripple of hope. 
--Robert Kennedy

What will really help us is the truth. Aren't we tired of being jerked around? Tired of not hearing the truth? Of course we are. On the subject for today, then, we need to know where hope comes from, so we can understand it and, apply it to our lives. If not, our hearts will continue to feel "sick." Our stomachs will react negatively to our situations. 

The truth and nothing but the truth

How many ripples can we create this year?

First of all, the truth: God is the original source of all hope. He knew we would some day need all we could get. He offers it to us with hands outstretched! The Bible, in fact, tells us that hope creates patience, courage, and joy and, so, we can THEN understand why we have none at times. Without hope, we have nothing else. In fact, it is one of the three things which last: faith, hope, and [true] love. 

Hope is produced by endurance--when we "hang in there" and keep moving forward no matter what happens. No matter how much pain we might be feeling. When we do something really hard for a long time and still end up breathing. It is not a magical "wishful thinking" kind of thing. Hope is the confidence we have in things that are unclear or unseen. It's our inspiration! 

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

How Whispered Prayers Will Stop Stress

Probably most of us have, at one time or another, felt a sensation of sweating, tension, increased pulse and headache in answer to the various, everyday forms of stress. It can come from anger, fear, aggravation, frustration or illness in ourselves or others to name just a few reasons. No one can escape it for an entire lifetime. It's not pretty, but pretty common.   

Stress-less Solutions
Apparently, there are as many ways to handle feelings of stress as there are people alive! Some are quite simple like having a pet around to soothe our nerves. Close friends who have a gift of listening. Lighting candles and putting on quiet music. Going to dinner with an encouraging friend. Shopping for an antique clock. Huh? O.K. that's just something that happened to me today. And the yummiest: enjoying a warm beverage, probably with chocolate!        

Classic Clues
On a more practical level, if we want a solution that has been around for centuries that is guaranteed to turn our situation around, it's Whispered Prayer. On the surface, it doesn't seem that it's very sensible or useful in the midst of a stress attack. After all, we can't reach out and touch prayer as if it is an object, like a pet or a candle. We can't enjoy the taste like chocolate. But we can ask, what is prayer good for?  

• relieving distress (Psalm 102)
• deliverance from fear (Psalm 34:4) 
• confidence the Lord will hear us (1 John 5:14)
• we will receive an answer (Psalm 17:6)
• daily requests are welcome (Philippians 4:6)
• calms anger (1 Timothy 2:8)
• provides peaceful and quiet lives (1 Timothy 2:1)
• increases faith (Jeremiah 33:3)
• receiving the love of God (Psalm 42:8)
• healing and forgiveness granted (James 5:15-16)

These are only a few. We also know prayer is a direct conversation between us and the Lord, and that, dear friends, is pure joy.  

Where Do We Begin?
When we have no idea how to pray, nor what to pray for, it's not the time to give up! 
Jesus already knows what we want to pray for and He has a solution. His Holy Spirit will help us. We just have to be honest and ask. He will even fill in what we have left out. It's true! 

The greatest part of prayer is there's no special place we have to go in order to pray.
No special physical posture to assume. We can pray as we grocery shop, wash our hair, while we wait to pick our child up at school, or driving in the car. God always hears our prayers no matter where we are. Then, we can count on the fact God always answers our prayers. Yes, always. He delights in it! The answer is either "Yes," "No," or "Not yet." He knows what is best for us at the time. 

Thankfulness is a great place to begin! 

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6

How Many Do You Know?

Today is Veteran's Day! And we are going off the beaten path here just once. 

We owe our sincere Thank You to all the men and women of every single war who fought and sacrificed their lives in one way or another for our freedom! Some of us remember first hand the stories that have been told, because we personally know friends and family members who have our deepest gratitude. 

"There are approximately only 855,070 veterans remaining of the 16 million who served our nation in World War II. [Veteran's Administration]. The oldest living WWII veteran today is 110 years old!"

"9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug. 5, 1964-May 7, 1975)." [Veterans Administration]

"2.7 million service members have been to the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001, and over half of them have deployed more than once. Many times that number of Americans have borne the costs of war as spouses, parents, children, and friends cope with their loved ones’ absence, mourn their deaths, or greet the changed person who often returns." [Watson-Brown University]

These are only three of the most recent in our memories. In 240 years on our own U.S. soil, veterans have fought over 25 wars for our freedom [Our Country published by Silver Burdett Ginn, Inc.; and Wikipedia].

Taking our heads out of the sand
Please understand, no one likes war. No one. Obviously, we wouldn't be enjoying American freedom if it were not for our military. And military spouses and children should not be forgotten either. It takes great courage to "hang in" when the unknown must be faced every single day. Never knowing where or when they will need to pack up and go live somewhere else. Spending years waiting while their spouse is overseas. Children who never learn to make permanent friends because it takes time and time is elusive in the military. Today, stop and thank a military family you know or see. Just do it. They deserve the respect and honor! 

Being part of the military sometimes takes it toll on women with devastating results. "The divorce rate among both officer and enlisted men and women over 2014 was 3.1 percent, only slightly higher than the 2005 rate of 3 percent. The newly released statistics show that the rate has steadily declined since 2011, when it reached a high water mark of 3.7 percent." [The Pentagon, U.S. Dept of Defense] 

Where is the Good News?

A time for peace

"In a world filled with evil people, sometimes war is necessary to prevent even greater evil. If Hitler had not been defeated by World War II, how many more millions would have been killed? If the American Civil War had not been fought, how much longer would African-Americans have had to suffer as slaves?

"It is an error to say that God never supports a war. Jesus is not a pacifist. The most important thing we can be doing in a time of war is to be praying for Godly wisdom for our leaders, praying for the safety of our military, praying for quick resolution to conflicts, and praying for a minimum of casualties among civilians on both sides." 

For a further study, click on this Link from GotQs.com:
WHY WAR?

There is…a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:8

17 Blessings of Sunrises and Sunsets

It's the day after. . .finally! It's over, but just beginning. We may not have gotten what we wanted, but it is our life. It is what it is. No sense stomping our feet. Ban the worry. Kick the fear. Shatter the feeling. Drown the overwhelming dread. Oh, no, it may sound like it, but this isn't about the worst election in history! This is our life and better yet, this is a fresh start. We want to keep the momentum going (after all, a moving object is hard to destroy, right?). 

Reflections
So to ease up and take a break here, nothing is more encouraging than sitting with a sunrise or sunset while reflecting on the reasons why we have been blessed this way: 

1. A gentle wake-up call
2. Offers to us a brand new day with new mercies
3. Bestows hope for all things

Find your quiet place

4. Gives us reason to rejoice
5. It's God's love-gift to us
6. Colors our world perfectly
7. Keeps us humble
8. Provides peace to our mind, body, and soul
9. Reminds us of our Creator
10. Primary subject of artistic expression
11. Can share it, but not lose it
12. What dreams are made of
13. Best movie endings
14. Brings a release of tears
15. Leaves us with ideas for tomorrow
16. Conclusion to a wonderful day
17. Proof God is alive and in control

These are only 17. Obviously, there are many, many more we could fill our journals with. Taking a break is a highly avoided activity, but it's no reason for any kind of guilt. Breaks are actually an excellent form of free personal therapy! Without a regular habit of this method of calming our minds, we will never hear from God. 

The clamor is deafening!
Too many of us have said, "I never hear from Him." Could it be because we live in constant noise and chaos? God is gentle. He whispers. He listens. He is patient. Thank Him for that alone! 

We can find a favorite, quiet place to go to and carve out a time to spend with Him. For most of us, this place is in the outdoors. It could be near a river or creek, a hillside, a park, a forest, or even our backyard, porch, balcony, or living room. Someplace. Somewhere. He is waiting to spend time with each of us. Can you hear Him now?

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1
   

5 Secrets About Your Working Life

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. (Oscar Wilde)

Let's face it. No beating around the bush. Once we become single again, most likely we will need to either find an alternative income source or a regular job. Even if we have all the money we need, sitting around with nothing to do is terribly boring, unproductive, and detrimental to our social life!

There are actually many benefits to taking a job or starting a career. Try a little exercise and list as many as possible. If we have already been working for awhile, maybe we are thinking of changing our job. That's not a bad thing by any means. We have to take pride in our work and if it's time to move on, we'll know it by the dissatisfaction we feel.

5 Secrets About Why Working Is Good For Us

• Our health and happiness will improve
• Taking the risk will energize us
• Gives us reason to become who we really are
• Creates friendships with those in our same situation
• Provides ways to find new interests      

The wrong thing at the right time
All of this may seem scary at first, but even if we have never worked before outside the home, there are ways to get started with that too. One of the first things to do is to find our strengths. If accounting is not our thing, taking a job as a bookkeeper would be a disaster. If we hate baking, working as a pastry chef would drive us crazy. If sales gives us hives, selling cars would be a joke. Get the picture? 

WHAT AM I GOOD AT?  [Click on this Link]

Next, we don't need to be told, education is important. If a degree is already on our shelf, then great--we need to get out the door and hit the pavement! If not, then, obviously, the key is to get educated in a field that is exciting for us. It may mean night school while we work elsewhere to pay the bills, but then what else do we have to do with our time? If we work hard at it, it will happen before we know it. 

Who is directing us?
Some of us are planners from way back. Organizing is at the top of our list. Some of us are definitely not in that camp! We need help for sure. What is really good to know is that we do not need to do this alone. There are support groups, counselors, and friends to call on when we are down in the dumps. 

There is also One who cares about us more than anyone ever could. God knows what we need (not want) the most and what is best for us. He sees the Big Picture from beginning to end. The best we can do is look at our life with blinders on. God is willing to direct our steps until we reach His ideal for our perfect life. Our part is just to ask!

Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3

How to Become a Queen

Patiently waiting

Dogs and cats are some of the most patient creatures on earth. If trained right, they will wait for their food or to go for a walk. They will wait all day long for their master to return home. They may not enjoy it, but they never, ever give up! They don't need a box of tissues, either, to dry all the tears. Oh, no, they go and play with their toys or look for bugs to eat or, o.k., tear up the couch maybe. But give up? Never. It's probably why we like to have them around. They are optimistic and hopeful!

Beating on a Brick Wall
We could actually learn something from our pets. Too many times, we humans use excuses to not get better, get over, get out, or get going. It's just seems a lot easier to give up and stop trying. Maybe we should try to write down what is so great about giving up and losing hope. The page would most certainly be blank because there is nothing good about it. Or at least nothing we would want to admit.

If you have ever had the fortune to buy a Chanel suit, dress, bag, or perfume, you probably know Coco Chanel was a designer. But she didn't just click her red shoes, open her eyes and she was famous by any means. Coco once said something very insightful on her way up to success: 

“Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” 

In other words, if something--our life, job, home, finances, whatever--isn't working, don't give up! Try something different. Don't be discouraged, just refuse to fail! It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock. Don't misunderstand. We all have our "down" moments or seasons, even, to get through. All I'm saying is something a therapist asked, "Why are you banging your head against a brick wall?" A life-changing question, indeed!

The Making of a Queen
A more familiar story is the one of Esther, a beautiful, young Jewish woman who became a Queen. She also did not have a perfect life, nor an easy one. Esther was not born with a "silver spoon" in her mouth. She was an orphan until her cousin adopted her. After she was crowned the Queen and wife of the King of Persia (at his insistence), she went on to fight for her people to become free. It was a long and difficult, but successful, battle. Her secret? Esther never gave up! [Read her entire story in the Book of Esther in the Bible]. And the outcome was all planned by God. He is always on our side. Always.*

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

*For an amazing, fictional version of the story of Esther, see the book by Kate Breslin, For Such a Time.