We Are Not Alone

Time never stops for us!

Time is an elusive period that is difficult to explain. As much as we want to hold our best moments in our hands for a little longer, we can not make time stop. It never goes away, yet we can not make it start either. Sure, babies are born every day and so their personal cuteness "time" begins. We wear digital, quartz, and stainless steel watches and set our projection and smart alarm clocks just as we want them, but we still can not make time stop. It is a continually moving element of our existence. We do not know what the next moment will bring to our lives and relationships!

Before, During, and After

Believe it or not, some relationships finally end their time on a somewhat "friendly" note. It is more of a mutual agreement after many years of arguments, avoidance, and altercations. Perhaps one person desperately tries to work it out using all possible means. The other person passively accepts the unwanted decision from the other. A war of words that exists with no solutions eventually arrives at a place where everything just stops. There is nothing more to say or do. In this particular case, it seems time does mysteriously end. The “clock” at this moment abruptly stops.

However, many (if not most) rocky relationships go through a very real and scary time when a woman needs to flee from someone who wants to harm her, either physically or emotionally. For her safety--and that of any children--she must find a way to get away safely in one way or another. In the end, with great determination, difficulty, and the help of those close to her, it can be done.

In either scenario, we stop and ask, “What now? Who can I depend on for support?” We find out the answer is not in giving up (which only makes things worse), but in humbling ourselves and reaching out, maybe for the first time in our lives, to sympathetic family, friends, neighbors, and professionals (think therapists, pastors, or women’s support groups) who have answers and can help in concrete ways.

Help Available

It took some of us a very long time to find answers to our questions, but the resources available today are getting better and better. Be wise and make good use of any reputable professionals. Let us not feel like we are the only ones going through this devastation and, as a consequence, avoid getting help. Solutions exist. They work. Don’t ever give up!

Tip of the Day

There is one who can make things right in our lives once and for all. To save many struggles, anguish, and loneliness, don't hold back. Reach for the one and only God who is the very definition of love. Contrary to what some may think, he didn't cause our situation or pain. But he does extend a strong right hand that will hold us up, hold us secure, and simply hold us through each star-filled night. We can never go wrong holding his hand. He promises!

“I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely” (Psalm 63:8 NLT).

Five Basics for a Great Life

What does your learning curve look like?

Sometimes we all need an "inventory" to show us how to make our struggle easier while creating a better life. Our willingness to try is all it takes. Naturally, we will make mistakes along the way and we will learn. Thankfully, God never expects us to be perfect!

Have you ever purchased or ordered something that needed assembly when you got it home? It always comes with instructions that any five-year-old could follow, but maybe not an adult! (enter pun). Well, there are at least five basics we can easily follow to put together a great life! Ready to try?

• Build a support team. Share struggles with those we trust to listen and encourage.
• Ask for help. We can't always do everything by ourselves.
• First things first. Organize and get rid of what we don't need from the past.
• Make plans. Find a place to live and work that will truly make us joyful.
• Dream. There are goals we've always wanted to accomplish. Now is the time!

You're free to go ahead and add any other "basics" you can think of. Grab hold and be determined to start a new journey!

Just remember, no one else will be able to make things right for us, so when we are ready, we must decide to put one foot in front of the other and do something about our lives to make them better. Building a new life takes time and patience. It's a process and a choice. Establishing what to do, how to do it, and when to do it is part of the learning curve. And it is personal. One certain way will not be the same solution for another woman. But one thing is definite: We are all on a new journey whether we like it or not. We can do this together and help each other to grow and survive with enthusiasm and dignity.

Here's the all-important question for right now: how do we gain the strength we lost while dealing with re-inventing our lives? Battling physical exhaustion and emotional fatigue feels like an enormous plug someone removed from the bottom of our foot and everything drained out leaving us empty. But even worse than that, chronic exhaustion prevents us from living to our fullest capacity while our bank accounts dwindle paying out medical costs.

Not feeling or looking our very best blocks us from doing what we need and want to do to survive. Our bodies resist movement and, therefore, it gets harder and harder to get the momentum going. Something is missing. Surely we have things we have been wanting to do for years now and couldn’t wait to begin. Let’s think seriously about the alternative: do we want to replay the past? Of course not! It is our decision now to make our lives better. All the dreams we had while still married can now be wholly fulfilled--no one is holding us back. Yeah, world! We can do this.

Tip of the Day: "I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me" (Psalm 16:8 NLT).   

 

       

What Do I Do Now?

Joy may be easier for some women to attain than others. It’s a misunderstood idea that sometimes gets mixed up with happiness. We can say chocolate makes some of us happy. A certain song on the radio can make us so happy, we start dancing. Bright colors and designs, especially on balloons, can make everyone happier. For the most part, these common feelings are temporary, but certainly, we look forward to the next one. 

What is joy anyway? We can describe it quite accurately as a condition of permanence. We know true joy if we think about how we feel when we hold a baby. When we find out we do not have cancer as the doctor first suspected, we know the pure essence of joy deep down. And when we hug our friend who just conquered her first marathon, joy fills our hearts for her. These occasions of pleasure are marked by contentment and cheerfulness. Even if a part of it later changes, the initial joy will always remain.

Some of us have trampled through the "briar path" for a while and are now anxiously looking forward to escaping the "thorns" and getting on with the joy. Others may be asking how escaping all the heartache and turmoil of the past year(s) could even be possible. It's blinding to turn from the thickness of dark days and see bright light as if someone just shined a flashlight in our eyes, and then to scratch our way to the surface and remain intact.

By the way, joy has a companion that can help us successfully handle this season of our lives. Ever heard of that four-letter word: hope? It's a winner in our lives! Truthfully, hope is produced by endurance--when we "hang in there" and keep moving forward no matter what happens. No matter how much pain we feel, we can get off that couch and push through the emotion. Sure, no one said it would be easy but when we are determined to do something difficult for a long time and still end up breathing, we are growing our hope and increasing our joy! It is not a magical "wishful thinking" kind of thing. Hope is as real as looking up in the sky and seeing the sun. It is too far away to touch, yet we can feel its warmth every day. Hope is the confidence we have in things that are unclear or unseen. It is our inspiration!

Acknowledging we are not that person anymore--the one who was trapped in a loveless relationship--but stronger women with new lives, will help to get us started in a new direction. It's up to us now to create something bigger and better. Something joyful. Something hopeful. We are stronger than we think. We've made it this far, haven't we? That didn't happen by accident. 

Tip of the Day: "I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13 NLT).  

Grab Your Toolbox

Grab Your Toolbox

Nothing shouts of more hope than gaining freedom. Anyone once held captive in any way, shape or form knows this fact. Freedom is a precious gift bestowed on us from above. Surely, our forefathers experienced that countries are born with independence only after many painful struggles along the way. We, too, can understand how ideas released like a bird let out of its cage open our eyes to possibilities and suddenly we see a promising vision for a new life. Momentum takes over and grows bigger and faster, and bigger and faster, like a snowball rolling down a hill while we continue with exciting plans for the future.

Wherever, and however, we grab hold of this fresh possibility for a new life, we embrace freedom as we let go of the forces that were holding us back. Opening our "toolbox" will allow us to move forward and find ways to build joy into the small, and not-so-small things, even if we have not had our first taste of accomplishment!

So are you ready to start with fresh momentum? We know you can do it!

Today's Tip: "So Christ [God] has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law" (Galatians 5:1 NLT).

FRESH START MOMENTUM is Back!

Hello, friends everywhere! This  FRESH START MOMENTUM blog has been on a necessary hiatus for the past couple of years. Now, we are back stronger than ever and ready to bring you new and fresh ideas and messages. 

We encourage you to pass this weekly blog (published every Tuesday) along to your friends, family, and neighbors. So grab a cup of coffee or your favorite beverage and take a moment to relax and enjoy! 

THE THREE Cs

We have just passed the halfway mark on our calendar and are fast approaching our country's birthday, July 4th. Summer is heating up and many of us are looking forward to some comfort, contentment, and cheer. Maybe you have a fondness for a certain vacation spot. Or, you are looking forward to a brand new place to visit. Perhaps even an anticipated stay with a favorite family member is on your to-do list. 

There are many different ways to enjoy ourselves and at the same time, we may discover what needs improvement in our own lives. 

We put effort into helping our neighbors, communities, and our country. Striving our best and doing good every day, we set an example for others. While participating in this way--and with the help of God--we can find comfort, contentment, and cheer. Let’s think back for a moment, when was the last time we truly enjoyed ourselves and, at the same time, made a difference?

ASSIGNED ROLES

We have a role to play in our lives and in the lives of those we care about. We may need to change "hats" frequently, but it’s all part of our story. Especially now that we are single again, God has given us a different kind of “part,” a purpose to carry out. Instead of allowing everyday media stories to sadden and distract us, we can find fulfillment and joy in paying attention to our special assignment.           

  

GROWING OUR JOY
God is the Creator, Producer, and Director of our personal story. He keeps his promises and can be counted on to show us how to become the best we can be for our role in His divine production. Even more so, God enjoys helping us--showing grace, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness when we slip, stumble, and forget our lines. Without a Director, there is no success!      

“As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me” (Micah 7:7 NLT).