Can You See Through the Fog of Change?

We may ask, is my life ever going to be right again? Aside from the pandemic, which is catastrophic enough, how are we supposed to get back to normal--whatever that is--after such a devastating and heart-breaking ending to our marriage? Certainly, it would be much easier to just throw up our hands and scream, it is never going to be the same again, so why try?

It does appear that way when we cannot see past the fog of change. We naturally resist transformation in any form, whether it is good for our hearts, minds, and souls or not. But here is the stinging question: do we really want the same unloving relationship? The one with no affection? The one that lost its electrifying connection? No, of course not. We would like to have the charming person we first met. But not the morphed version that came later. Never that!

Building a Better Life

Then, the sun comes out and we see the light! Every single person on the face of this earth shifts and shuffles from day to day. Minute by minute. Inch by inch. The irony lies in the fact, we cannot change each other. Ever. Practice saying that out loud! We can only change ourselves and our response to that person.

Each individual has to look in the mirror and say, I have a problem, and I need to fix it. Until that happens, no improvement can be expected. It is like banging our heads against a brick wall. Useless.

Our initial impulse is to take those bricks...and throw them? No! We did not say that now did we. Those bricks are useful for building a better life, not for re-arranging someone’s skull! That is the best life for us at this particular time and place. What that architecture looks like will be different for each one of us.

• Some of us will seek and share a new, mature relationship with all the perks.
• Some will plant a seed and grow on an individual level first.
• Some will find that outlets for creative expression in education, work, and extracurricular activities are more important to them at the moment.

There are no incorrect blueprints here. Only that we never let the momentum stop!

Who Can We Talk to About Our Life?

It is as if God is saying with outstretched arms, Fear not, dear child of mine, I am here. If you only let me, you will see how this will all work out. Let us sit down and talk. Can’t we just see and hear Him saying that to us?

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen” (Jeremiah 29:11-12 The Message).

 

 

How to Pick Yourself Up Off the Floor

In a churchyard in Wales (United Kingdom), there are the words, “Here lieth the body of William Edwards of Cacreg, who departed this life 24th February, Anno Domini 1668, age one hundred and sixty-eight.” This man must surely have had a secret that the rest of us do not know about living and dying!

Many people do, in fact, want to live for an exceptionally long time, but maybe not that long! Some of us would simply enjoy having a life where we had enough time to accomplish everything on our “bucket list.”

[Just for fun, CLICK on the following message from our archives]

Momentum Bucket List

The Next 50

Truly, no one would likely want to spend the rest of their life working at their jobs or professions much past retirement age. Of course, that number varies widely. Some retire early, excited to begin their next great adventure. And some stick with working until someone or something pushes them out the door. There may also be a valid financial need that keeps us there. In whatever way we handle our later years, it will depend on what we did or did not do with the first 50 years.

One thing to realize right away is that it is never too late for an adjustment, no matter which decade we live in right now. There are numerous books available that explain that very fact. Especially in our single-again lifestyle, we may absolutely need to find a different way to do things. We are not alone. Just think of all the many, many people during this Covid-19 pandemic that have gone through devastations of all kinds and have had to start over.

Losing jobs through layoffs, bankruptcies, house fires, weather catastrophes, and illnesses are just some of the many examples of having to pick ourselves up off the floor and begin again. We are reminded of the familiar thought of “getting back on the horse” after falling off. Somewhere down deep inside ourselves, there is a reservoir that has been left untapped for this exact season of our life.

When we try, really try, and do not give up, we will find new ways to do things, resources we did not know we had, friends who will come through for us, help from all directions, and a sense of peace at the bottom of that well. The key to all this is not just sitting back and having a pity party, but standing on our own two feet, dusting off our behinds, and putting that foot right back in the stirrup. When others see this in us, they will want to join our “party.”

This is No Fantasy

Nothing is more attractive than succeeding when life wants to knock us down like falling fence posts. Soon, we will not even remember what “disaster” feels like. We will be too busy organizing and arranging our lives just the way we have dreamed they could and should be. It is true! This is not a fantasy; it is our life. We do not have time to ignore the possibilities waiting for us. One absolute fact: no one else will work and create a new life for us, but they will want to jump in and be a part of it.

Once we are on our way and can relax, then we can help others going through exactly what we did. Sometimes that is the reason why God gives us these challenges. He expects us to use the experience and knowledge we have developed to help our neighbors. They are valuable commodities to share. We can use our gifts and talents to find a unique way to walk alongside another woman. From quite simple ideas of encouragement, we can make someone’s life turn around for good.

“Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it” (Psalm 34:12, 14 NLT). 

Replacing Distraction for Creativity

Van Gogh, Monet, and Da Vinci are in the Top 10 Classics of Artists. Among the Top 10 Modern Masters of Art, we find O’Keeffe, Kandinsky, and Picasso. And the list goes on. Sometimes it took years for these artists to complete a masterpiece after many failed attempts. Some artists were not even known until after they died.

We all have some type of creativity, as that is how human beings were created. We may not hold a paintbrush in our hands and sit at an easel, but there is something in our lives we are good at creating. It could be the flute we played in the marching band in high school or the ballet shoes hanging in the closet for years.

Our creativity may not lie in the arts at all. It might be how exactly we are at calculating sales projections, how we naturally lead the group in the PTA meetings, our knack for baking bread, or hosting a grand opening at the local museum. Any number of activities can fulfill our gift of creativity.

Your Beating Heart

We can know we are gifted in certain areas when we anxiously wait until we get to do it again. It comes easy to us and we delight in the pure joy of it. Our artistic gift fills our thinking, and we employ feedback from friends to learn even more. We happily make continual plans for it all the time. We read and research the subject and strive to improve our skills. It is our purpose!

Some of us have a purpose that has remained dormant for years. We either haven’t taken the time to discover what it is, or we put only a half-hearted try into developing our gift. Just because we got distracted with other things for years, does not mean we don’t have any creativity.

Isn’t It Time?

Today is perfect for dusting off the ideas we have stored in the back of our minds. Most likely, we already know what we want and can do with the rest of our lives. But maybe it’s a little hazy and we need to be pointed in the right direction. If that seems reasonable, try these resources:

Books

What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard N. Bolles

A Compendium for Conscious Creators by Orna Ross

Discovering Joy in Your Creativity by Women of Faith

Websites (click on link)

Pinterest

Creativity for Women

Creativity and Divorce

What an Artist!

Of all living things God breathed life into, humans are His masterpieces. YOU are His masterpiece and there is no one else like you! None. You are the original and there are no copies. He takes delight in that fact.

God has a reason for creating you. A purpose just for you to do good, so others will learn from you who He is and praise Him as the One true God. That’s a big assignment, but God already knew you could do it in your own special, unique way. No one else can do it just exactly like you!

The Bible says, “In the beginning God created. . .” He is the One and Only Creator of all and has always created from the beginning of time and is still creating new life every day. He never stops and He never makes a mistake. What an artist He is! To discover your best life, get to know this Master of All.  

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).