How to Shape and Sculpture Something New from Something Old

There are as many funny stories about how a child (who us?) learns to ride a bicycle as there are wheels in a factory. It is likely the first dramatic event in our lives once we conquer how to walk! True, it may hurt (depending on how many times we fall) but most children wipe their tears and determinedly get back on the bicycle. Then comes the much-anticipated result when we finally speed down the road with our hair flying! 

We may fondly remember those days trying to learn all we could to become independent even if it hurt. As an adult, it was not much different when we fought through the pain, agony, and determination just to get to a better place in our lives as single-again women. But we did it! Now what? 

Act Two

Someone once said, "It's what you do after [the] mess that counts." That is incredibly good advice whether on a bicycle or in life. Sure, it does take time to move through a period of adjustment and it is not always the most pleasant thing we have ever done. But it is necessary, otherwise, we remain in a state of despair leading to the debilitating world of depression. And no one wants that, ever!

Basically, there are two possible scenarios that brought us to this chapter in our lives.

(a) we have known for an exceptionally long time that we would be dealing with a separation of some sort such as a pending divorce or the terminal illness of a spouse. In these cases, we probably planned in some way for the inevitable outcome. We are not saying it was any easier just because we expected it, just that we were aware. 

(b) it was a sudden, and sometimes, shocking event that caught us off-guard. In this circumstance, we may have initially panicked and/or experienced anger both of which were entirely normal. Please know having people we trust near-by to help navigate the days ahead makes it easier to reach a sense of peace and a clear head.  

Discovering the Best Direction  

After the initial period of grieving our loss, we may have a fairly good idea of what we want to do now with our lives. Or not. Each situation is different, and we are not here to say when or how to begin a new life. We are simply here to support and encourage each other and find the best direction to go.  

We have been there through the anxiety and frustration, and hope some of these ideas may be useful in building something new:

• Take baby steps and do not be afraid to try new things.
• Grieving can be lonely, so it is okay to join a support group.
• Find a new hobby. Experts say creativity is a healing art.
• Be sure to get plenty of sleep. It is important for the brain.   
• Focus on healthy living and keep moving.

Keep this concept in mind: "Life is like a 10-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use." (Charles Schulz, Peanuts cartoon)

Reaching Out

Now is the time to enjoy friends even just for a simple cup of coffee or tea. God, in fact, provides us with these friendships that cross our path. It is how He gives us warmth and comfort along with a way to talk things through with those who might be just one or two steps ahead of us in their own grieving journey.

Remember the painting called, The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo? It is a very moving depiction of how much God takes care of us. In it, God gives life to Adam by reaching out His hand and tenderly touching Adam. Did God need to do that? No. But we, and obviously Michelangelo, believe He did it with love anyway.

Hold out your hand; God will take it!

"So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others" (2 Peter 1:5-7 MSG).